Usenet Time Control Device

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

In article <c8fq7tc2j51h9p3s2dctt4e4jqntct7kl4@4ax.com>,
imbjr@imbjr.com wrote:

> On Sat, 03 Feb 2001 22:49:28 -0500, iDRMRSR
> <alex.i.thymia@depression.org> did transmit:
>
> >Ohmy Bob is this newsgroup fucked up. Posts from IMBJR are coming back
> >DAYS late and even the goodies I put out there don't even show up on
>
> My primary news server coughs up my posts about a dy late. I fink the
> CON is fucking with Usenet so's we all go web-based.
>

And then suddenly you'll have to have a LICENSE for a website. JUST LIKE
THE RADIO. Supernationals don't like competition -- and They know
perfectly well that our No World Religion is the only antidote for the
One World Advertiser. Down with the Supernationals! Up with the
SuperNATURAL! Down with Bob and Up with "Bob"!

"When they regulate websites, only newsgroup geeks will have free
porno." Dobbs, muttering in his sleep to Connie, May 1959 (!!!)

It is critical that a few SubGenii retain the archaic, handed-down
knowledge of the past, the paleolithic skills of how to use the REAL
Internet, the one that was here before the world wide web came along --
you know, the stone age stuff like "news readers" and "telnet". Indeed,
I would go so far as to suggest that we find a volunteer who will
relearn and pass down even more ancient skills such as the changing of
tires, the cleaning of handgun barrels, shoe repair etc.

I for one was SHOCKED at how swiftly the Internet went from being a kind
of wonderful curio for geeks, scientific geniuses and other weirdos, to
99% big business and Pinks.

It took a YEAR for "acid rock" to become a sold out Con prop tool in the
60s. A decade later, "PUNK" was turned over in less than 6 months.
Everybody except children gave up on the idea of music ever being used
as a weapon of rebellion against the Empire again. Then the Internet
came along and again there was HOPE. But how long did it take between
the time They wantedit and They got it? The blink of an eye.

I'm such a dumbass. I honestly thought that it would be YEARS before the
Internet was castrated, since the government couldn't really get a grip
on it. But, again, I was fooled... I thought that there WAS a
government. The "government" was the FIRST thing to go!!! LONG ago!
DUH!! The One World Advertiser had been fooling ALL of us, ALL ALONG!!!

NO MORE, I SAY!! NYES!! Now that it's TOO LATE... we as SubGeniuses must
FIGHT BACK ALL THE MORE VICIOUSLY AND MINDLESSLY!!! What the fuck do
most of us have to LOSE?? Our FREEDOM?? Hell, we clock out of what
"freedom" we PRETEND to have while WORKING, and then while TUBING and
SLEEPING... what else is LEFT but to use EVERY SPARE STOLEN MINUTE,
WORKING LIKE CRAZED LAB RATS WITH HOT WIRES UP OUR ASSES, on ANYTHING WE
CAN DO to FUCK UP THE CONSPIRACY *BACK* while giving ourselves SLACK!?!?
Even if that means, yes, laying in bed and watching TV. But it can also
mean ENERGETIC MONKEYWRENCHING, not of poor innocent machines -- nay,
machines are our FRIENDS -- but the monkeywrenching of MEN'S MINDS!!!

A Pink's strong back is a terrible thing to waste -- no need to waste
them if there's a way we can CONTROL THEIR MINDS AND DIRECT THEIR EVERY
DRONELIKE ACTIVITY LIKE THE ROBOT TOY STICKMEN THEY REALLY ARE!!

How you individually would work toward such things, specifically, I'm
sure Dobbs would leave entirely up to you. That's the marvelous thing
about this religion. ONLY YOU have paid Dobbs to tell you what you
really think YOUR SLACK IS!! No other REAL SubGenius will try to TELL
you what your Slack is, either.

Every REAL SubGenius knows that, if they could telepathically look deep
down into the other's soul, every other REAL SubGenius would seem to
them to be, at their core, COMPLETELY INCOMPREHENSIBLE if not UTTERLY
INSANE. And they are. But we KNOW that! And THAT'S the difference.

PRAISE FUCKING "BOB" and HAIL FUCKING CONNIE!!

***

AHHH!!! Whew!! I needed that.

Copyright 2001 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 2nd Orthodox Stangian
MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the
Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc.
Cleveland Office (Stang): PO Box 19355, Cleveland OH 44119
Dallas Office (Jesus): PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 / PRABOB
http://www.subgenius.com
http://www.subgenius.com -- SubSITE of Slack
1-888-669-2323: toll free order line

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Original file name: Stang Usenet Time Control Dev - converted on Friday, 29 June 2001, 22:32