Re: The Ideal SubGenius Man

From: "Rabbi Jacklyn Hyde" <rabbs@subgenius.com>

Huey, you've NAILED it! Considering my current love fits this bill, I feel
pretty well off, especially with the foot massage / eye color parts. Once
dated someone for YEARS who swore my eyes were brown when I was LOOKING at
him. They are blue grey, in case you missed them.

"HellPope Huey" <Hulkturds@crappagammabrick.ouch> wrote in message
news:Hulkturds-3004011310060001@pool-209-128-155-45.hs.ipa.net...
>
> Has a fair idea of what the hell is up. Will graciously massage yer feet
> out of the blue without being a whiny submissive or a trolling goat. Can
> be caught doing dishes with reasonable frequency. Doesn't re-use
> silverware so grotty, the bacteria are singing harmonies on it. If he says
> he'll help you paint the west side of the house at 2 on Saturday, he shows
> up for it by 2:30, minimum. Brings sody pop, doesn't bitch halfway through
> the job. Doesn't force you to dig heavy metal at china-threatening levels,
> if at all. Evidence of Yeti gene via sense of humor.
>
> Doesn't tell you how hot your sister is. Can either fix a car or is
> smart enough and NON-macho enough to have someone more capable fix the
> thing. Treats yer mom well, tells jokes, listens some. Asks what you need
> or want BEFORE payday. Doesn't crap a brick if your pals show up
> unexpectedly when he was hoping to maybe get his leg up that afternoon.
> Makes SURE you get YOURS instead of rolling over and snoring once he's
> gotten HIS.
>
> Doesn't think you should take a punch now and again. Pays back small
> loans of convenience for gas and the like. Shares the last piece of pizza.
> Hugs you regularly without always grabbing your goodies, per se. Not
> afraid of your brains. Extra points if he picks them before acting.
>
> Doesn't watch sports until you wish buzzards would carry him away and
> pick his bones white.
> Remembers yer danged BIRTHday and doesn't give you "practical" gifts
> unless its something you really asked about. Ex: flowers and the powered
> screwdriver you need for shelving. Overcomes the almost universal
> inability of a guy to remember what damned color your EYES are by waiting
> on you tenderly when you have the flu. Bathes. Doesn't leave a ring in the
> tub a rock troll could put on his fiance's finger.
>
> Devoted to "Bob," but FULLY RESPECTFUL OF CONNIE, EIEIEIEIE!!!!
>
> HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
> Talkin' 'bout my half-deaf g-g-g-generation,
> WHAT, WHAT??
>
> "Cats are nocturnal creatures.
> So are coyotes, feral dogs and devil worshipers."
> - 'Malcolm In The Middle'
>
> "I've got balls older than that."
> - Bob Hope, to a pretty Desert Classic woman
> who told him she was 24
>
> "What do you think?"
> "I'm nowhere near being able to answer that question."
> -'The West Wing'

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Original file name: Re- The Ideal SubGenius Man - converted on Friday, 29 June 2001, 22:32