From: "Alicia" <alicia@fdt.net>
When Oppenheimer split the atom, it drove him a little crazy. When he looked upon something no one ever had and finally broke through the mystery, it broke *him* ..on the inside. To be able to see beyond his own measure, to grasp what he should not have been able to. It was all over for him, but he didn't care. Because when the flash came..out in the desert, it was as if he saw the face of God. And God....sighed.... and suddenly it was all apparent for reasons he realized, were significant..
When Einstein saw relativity, it cracked his mind. When he saw beyond the linear concepts we protect to maintain our sanity, it eroded his reasoning...it ripped open his faculties. After that, he would never be the same or even close to normal, but that didn't matter. When his essential understanding of the world around him no longer matched the truth, OR MATTERED it was like knowing exactly how Christ felt on the cross. Only there was no Christ and no cross. Only here and now.
When we are opened up, and allow others to persuade our thoughts, our reasonings, our very own LOGIC and our paths....tiny bits of us begin floating around confused and ineffective. When we finally understand the simple nature of what it all is, and when it finally devours the logic we have been taught since birth....it leaves us adrift in a sea of the only truth that matters..
*We* call it slack.
*They've* been programming us to believe it is a SALVATION, one that you spend your life here on earth suffering for. Suffering? I don't know about YOU.... I need my salvation to be here..and NOW. I'm tired of suffering and bending over and lying down and being a martyr for a place in where.....heaven? To burn in hell? No thank you.
That's what led me here...to this church...to these mutants...You can get a guarantee on your salvation and look at the world through psychedelic glasses EVERY DAY.... and it all looks, and tastes, and feels and even smells a so much BETTER. And you don't have to wait to get sick or old and die....you can reserve a space right NOW. Is it possible? Religious fanatics with a sense of humor? With real honest to whatever-you-consider- holy.... Non-judgementalism.? Taking THIS life and making as many seconds we can pry from the conspiracy COUNT!? Imagine the possibilities.
And the NEEDING of something...of anything beyond what is here...of what we should be able to know......might as well BE an atom split over us....and we might as well BE moving away from the rest of the world at at 186,281 miles per second - because we ARE better. Because we ARE happier. Because we too will never be the same, or fit in the way we used to IF WE EVER DID, because we will stand out in ANY crowd, because our insides have been broken and put back together in a moasic of slack.....because we owe it to Einstein and....because we HAVE PAID FOR IT IN CASH!..
And yet you still feel the need to clutch desperately at afterimages ... We create our own bondage. We let others set out paths FOR US! How breathtaking it is when you find that secret door to freedom.
My door seems to revolve a bit.....and I still do cling to some of the bondage I create.....but when I crack that beauty, I might as well be at ground zero because it BREAKS me and renders me asunder, but .....gathering the pieces is a hell of a lot easier than catching floating bits.....and even THAT doesn't matter and I don't care., for I am *thisclose*
It's like having the holy spirit in your hands.
Trinity.
Me. The Mutants. And "Bob"
Original file name: Jewyl's Tampa Rant - converted on Friday, 29 June 2001, 22:32
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