Subject: Re: [poll] How Did You Find The Church?

From: Sister Decadence <decadence@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Feb 10, 2000 12:48 PM
Message-ID: <neu5as801cfvfrb422th7qtfl2npcjkpte@4ax.com>

On some day, Sister Decadence wrote:
>Yes, how did you find the Chirch of the SubGenius? And I mean
>that in more ways than one. How did you find out about it?
>Though pamplets, radio, the internet? And once you found out
>about it how did you find it? Raw, extra crispy, sour, sweet,
>tastless? Tell us all about it; especially you lurkers out
>there; "Bob" is watching...
>

Foo, I posted this story when none of you knew who I was. Then it
was reposted in the Stark Fist behind all those Connie-ites and their
dildos pictures. Ohhh, that's why you didn't see it...those pics were,
uh, distracting, yeah, that's it!

Yes, I am an agent of Satan but my duties are
largely ceremonial.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: [poll] How Did You Find The Church?
From: shinpath@gol.com (SPLR Ministries, Western Japan)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: shinpath@gol.com
Date: Thu, Feb 10, 2000 12:53 PM
Message-ID: <38a2fabf.28330894@nnrp.gol.com>

drv1@concentric.net (David R. Voth) wrote:

>On Wed, 09 Feb 2000 23:18:05 -0800, mizuno333
><luna_tic333@yahoo.co.uk> wrote:
>
>>Yes, how did you find the Chirch of the SubGenius? And I mean
>>that in more ways than one. How did you find out about it?
>>Though pamplets, radio, the internet? And once you found out
>>about it how did you find it? Raw, extra crispy, sour, sweet,
>>tastless? Tell us all about it; especially you lurkers out
>>there; "Bob" is watching...
>
>It was the wee hours of a Tuesday morning in the springtime back in
>the mid 1980s. I was walking in the business district of downtown La
>Jolla, California with some old college buddies I hadn't seen for
>several years.

It was a year later, 1981, near Dave's visitation, a sticker on the
wall of the halls in UCSD (University of California at San Diego).

But it took off in10984 when I moved to San Francisco and was able to
receive direct radio ministry from KPFA. How they mocked me when I
called into the show!

The rest is well, history, like the time I threw a party for Janor.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: [poll] How Did You Find The Church?
From: wjb67@aol.com (rev. w.w. von Bengle)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Feb 10, 2000 1:13 PM
Message-ID: <20000210131301.21954.00002811@ng-fq1.aol.com>

the as yet to be sainted latent sub-genius drummer for the Overlap Bongo Dave
got me to check out the book of the subgenius way back in 1991...and I read
some of it and went "ha ha, great piece of art...ha ha"...then in 1997 he once
again got me to read it more closely witht he advice "you just gotta keep
reading no matter what happens"...later in a book store Revelation X found it's
way to my hand and was consumed like a cheeseburger in the hands of an
overman...I also had gotten a job which gave me enough disposible cash to offer
a proper love offereing to the church
if you can't have your cake and eat it too...can you eat your cake but not have
it?
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: [poll] How Did You Find The Church?
From: J_Wasserman@admin.fandm.edumacation (Joey Joe Joe Joe Junior Shabadoo)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Feb 10, 2000 1:28 PM
Message-ID: <J_Wasserman-1002001328530001@oldmain-dhcp-51.fandm.edu>

This story isn't very interesting, but what the hell, it's alt.slack.
Anyway, I heard about it first from this kid I hung out with in high
school who had a Dobbshead drawn on one of his sneakers. I thought it was
pretty decent. Then in my junior year of college I discovered that one of
the guys I lived with was ordained, and he pretty much converted me.

Blah.

In article <sa5i343q53n150@corp.supernews.com>, "whyaskwhyaskwhy"
<blackout@HORMELinfomagic.com> wrote:

> I was reading an old high times magazine on a continental trailways bus on
> my way from Gallup New Mexico to Phx and they had this article about these
> weirdos and the stupid head dealybobber that they worshipped. We were
> stopping in Winslow and had pulled onto the offramp and I sorta looked up
> out the window and saw this bum looking guy whacking the SHIT out of this
> other bum looking guy with a 3 foot piece of rebar. I was pretty toasted and
> only 16 so I didn't know what to do and sorta froze like a deer in the
> headlights and as we stopped the bum-in-motion stopped wailing and started
> going through the bum-in-stasis's pockets and then we were moving again and
> I was all confused and didn't really believe it and yet I did and the dumb
> head thingie with the pipe was just staring at me grinning.
>
>
> In that moment he was enlightened.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> "mizuno333" <luna_tic333@yahoo.co.uk> wrote in message
> news:103d414e.249b00f5@usw-ex0103-086.remarq.com...
> > Yes, how did you find the Chirch of the SubGenius? And I mean
> > that in more ways than one. How did you find out about it?
> > Though pamplets, radio, the internet? And once you found out
> > about it how did you find it? Raw, extra crispy, sour, sweet,
> > tastless? Tell us all about it; especially you lurkers out
> > there; "Bob" is watching...
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet's Discussion Network
> *
> > The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet - Free!
> >

http://www.geocities.com/CollegePark/Grounds/8827
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: [poll] How Did You Find The Church?
From: König PrüB, GmbH <saurkraut@weinerschnitzel.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Feb 10, 2000 1:34 PM
Message-ID: <sa616ief53n36@corp.supernews.com>

>the as yet to be sainted latent sub-genius drummer for the Overlap Bongo Dave
>got me to check out the book of the subgenius way back in 1991...and I read
>some of it and went "ha ha, great piece of art...ha ha"...then in 1997 he once
>again got me to read it more closely witht he advice "you just gotta keep
>reading no matter what happens"...later in a book store Revelation X found it's
>way to my hand and was consumed like a cheeseburger in the hands of an
>overman...I also had gotten a job which gave me enough disposible cash to offer
>a proper love offereing to the church
>if you can't have your cake and eat it too...can you eat your cake but not have
>it?

SaraLee, I say unto you! If ye have a cake and halve it,
and then halve it yet again, you would have four quarters
and yet still not have a dollar. Eat of this cake, for it is cake
which is NOT cake, which ye may have half a mind to have,
yet in indecision achieve Shangrila with a warm apple pie.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: [poll] How Did You Find The Church?
From: SubGenius Spice <SubGeniusSpice@subdimension.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: SubGeniusSpice@subdimension.com
Date: Thu, Feb 10, 2000 2:22 PM
Message-ID: <7l26aso85gpv46vc96anqdhnbomum8q4ve@4ax.com>

On Wed, 09 Feb 2000 23:18:05 -0800, *mizuno333* told alt.slack that:

>Yes, how did you find the Chirch of the SubGenius? And I mean
>that in more ways than one. How did you find out about it?
>Though pamplets, radio, the internet? And once you found out
>about it how did you find it? Raw, extra crispy, sour, sweet,
>tastless? Tell us all about it; especially you lurkers out
>there; "Bob" is watching...
>

boring, but i'll spill it.

when my brother was in college, he discovered the church of the
subgenius and would go on about "bob" and slack and whatever.

i was like, okay whatever dude.

at some point in time, i had purchased the botsg and i read it, but i
never *read it*.

i basically dismissed the whole premise as some sort of trendy, fanboy
thing.

but anytime i would see a dobbshead or hear a "bob" joke, i would still
kinda wonder...gee, just *what* is up with all this?

time marched on.

then, when i got internet access, said brother told me,
"you MUST read alt.slack"

and i did.

and i realized that the church *was* a thing and not just a concept, if
that makes any sense.

so i re-read the book, this time it MADE MORE SENSE THAN I COULD STAND,
sent in my $30, and hung on for dear life as i body-surfed the tsunami
of a luck plane that was to result.

so, yeah bro...

i have found my people.

now shut the fuck up.

--
SubGenius Spice
"yeah, (can you get) what you see,but you can't have what you can't" --my bloody valentine
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: [poll] How Did You Find The Church?
From: mshotz@aol.comnospam (Mshotz)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Feb 10, 2000 5:10 PM
Message-ID: <20000210171042.01191.00000460@ng-fc1.aol.com>

I first became aware of the Church via DEVO, later, I read Frank Zappa'a
Autobiography and he mentioned it again.

Once I got on the net, I looked up the web site and "shadowed" the church for
about 4 years before I got the Courage up to send in my $30.

Now I am guaranteed eneternal salvation!

BoB Be Praised!

MSHOTZ: The Post Post Modern Man

I just got a phone call from your Proctologist, He found your head!
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: [poll] How Did You Find The Church?
From: prostata@bronze.coil.com (Rev. Prostata Cantata)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Feb 10, 2000 5:05 PM
Message-ID: <87vcmd$f9n$1@news.concourse.com>

... and as I lay face down on the cold metal table writhing and
screaming under the continued assult of the perverted alien probe, I
looked up and saw out of the corner of my eye that strange green smoke was
filling the room from a source behind me and my extraterestrial
tormentors.

I heard a deep male voice say "Sorry Charlie, Trix are for Kids!".

Before I could clear the insane cobwebs from my tortured mind to
digest this odd statement, the mad cackling and snorting of the Greys
around me was cut short and replaced with screams of terror and pain. I
could hear the whiney reports of the strange "death ray" pistols the
aliens had used on so many of my fellow captors in the weeks since I had
been taken. Glowing green alien fluids splashed and gushed around the
room and disgusting bits of grey and green viscera flew past my head. A
burst of flame flashed in the room beyond where I could see, and a foetid
stench filled the air, totally overwhemling the acrid alien aroma that had
previously assulted my sinuses.

Suddenly, silence. The lack of sound almost as painful to my ears
as the begging screams of the abductees being fed to the thing in the room
down the hall from the probe room.

My bonds were loosened and I rolled over to see a grinning madman
with a bad haircut looking down at me. His cheap polyester suit seemed
strangly immune to the bloody carnage that had filled the small room. It
was as if even the death rays had met with an even greater force that had
kept the trousers looking freshly pressed. Pale green smoke rose from the
pipe clenched in his blindingly white teeth.

He opened his mouth a little and then, in a deep soothing voice he
spoke those words which I will remember and treasure for the rest of my
life:
"You MY bitch now!"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: [poll] How Did You Find The Church?
From: iPRONO <nenslo@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Feb 10, 2000 6:11 PM
Message-ID: <38A3458A.2E45@subgenius.com>

David R. Voth wrote:
> nothing but LIES.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: [poll] How Did You Find The Church?
From: iPRONO <nenslo@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Feb 10, 2000 6:23 PM
Message-ID: <38A34855.5C34@subgenius.com>

Here is my terrible tale.

It was probably around 1980. I had this friend, who shall remain
nameless. He was one of those friends who is really irritating and
obnoxious but for some reason is still your friend, the kind who always
finishes your sentences WRONG, the kind who, when you look around and
realize you have ONLY ONE FRIEND LEFT, it's him. And you wish you didn't
have any friends left at all. He was somewhat older than me, from a
very different background - I was a jobless dropout bohemian and he was
an employed college graduate, sort of brain damaged from too much frat
house. The kind of guy I'd make some stupid joke to and a week later
he'd come over all excited to tell me about his NEW GREAT IDEA... and it
would be that same stupid joke I made up. The kind of guy who THINKS
he's a subgenius just because he's a failure at being normal - but he
really would rather be normal. So one day he says look at this and
hands me a bunch of stuff that was like the first two stark fists and
the $20.00 membership package. After about a half hour my brain was
spinning around in my skull and I couldn't think or hardly even speak
any more. I just went home. It took a few years for it to sink in, but
it festered and grew in there until the day finally came that I realized
it was ALL TRUE.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: [poll] How Did You Find The Church?
From: "Andrew Sewell" <Arsewell@Tomah.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Feb 10, 2000 6:45 PM
Message-ID: <87vi5i015be@enews4.newsguy.com>

>>Yes, how did you find the Chirch of the SubGenius? And I mean
>>that in more ways than one. How did you find out about it?
>>Though pamplets, radio, the internet? And once you found out
>>about it how did you find it? Raw, extra crispy, sour, sweet,
>>tastless? Tell us all about it; especially you lurkers out
>>there; "Bob" is watching...
>>
1990: freshman year of college, fresh from the sticks and straight to
Madonna's Hometown, a vile pit of Pinkness if ever there was one. I was
hanging out with the crispy geekboys and lesbians in the sci-fi club office
on campus, and picked up a book with a strange cover. "Three-fisted Tales of
"Bob"? Wht the hell is this I asked?"
"Oh, that's just this weird book of short stories. You can borrow it if you
want."
So I took it back to my dorm room, and read it all in one sitting. The next
day, as if in a trance, I wrote out a check for $31, ordering my membership
and the Book of the Subgenius, sat on it to make sure the boys in dallas
could whiff-read my PStench, and sent that sucker off to the Holy P. O. BOX.
I've been Full-on Subgenius for 10 years. The best 10 years of my life. I've
followed the Path of Least Resistance and reaped its rewards. I've tithed to
"Bob" and preached to the unwashed. I've posted the lick and stick stickers
in the book of Revelations of every gideon bible in every hotel room I've
stayed in. The Consiracy is my enemy, and to this day it throws up
obstacles that keep me from the devivals, dokstoks and X-day drills that i
should be attending.

You may shrug in apathy right now.

The Rev. Semillama, too fucking slacked out to even want to know how to fuck
his computer.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: [poll] How Did You Find The Church?
From: mizuno333 <luna_tic333@yahoo.co.uk>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Feb 10, 2000 7:09 PM
Message-ID: <0a516710.1f0be73a@usw-ex0106-047.remarq.com>

I have to make a correction to my story. I was 12 or 13 when I
discovered the church NOT 10. ...The things insomnia & Time
Control can do to the mind...... And I like it!!!

* Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet's Discussion Network *
The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet - Free!
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: [poll] How Did You Find The Church?
From: drv1@concentric.net (David R. Voth)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Feb 10, 2000 7:13 PM
Message-ID: <38a35374.863360687@news.lightspan.com>

On Thu, 10 Feb 2000 15:11:06 -0800, iPRONO <nenslo@subgenius.com>
wrote:

>David R. Voth wrote:
>> nothing but LIES.

SHUT THE FUCK UP

SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP

SHUT UP SHUTTIN' UP

--
"If people want to spend $150,000 for the eggs of a gorgeous woman with
an IQ of 68, let them."
- Ron Harris, horse breeder
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: [poll] How Did You Find The Church?
From: phorlakh@ppp116.av.centurytel.net (Joe User)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Feb 10, 2000 8:08 PM
Message-ID: <slrn8a6o9b.uj6.phorlakh@ppp116.av.centurytel.net>

Actually, I found "Bob" at the core of the Hale-Bopp comet when I was working
as a college professor at Skruuton University in Memphis. The radio waves that
were emitted by the comet kept on repeating the same bizarre patterns over and
over again, and soon afterward began to speak in the voice of some alien named
"Joe" in semi-plain English...something which could be construed by modern
sound as "moo-nee-moo-nee-moon-pants" or somethingorother. I grabbed some of
the radiotelescope images from an observatory whose name evades me, and then...
to my amazement..there was a face with a pipe in its puss dead center, and a
large rotating penis following in the tail of the comet. Querying some of my
students in this regard, they told me that this was none other than a "diety"
known as `J. R. "Bob" Dobbs'.
So,thusly, I visited the SubSite, and in turn e-mailed the info to Stang and
Jesus. After the Xists didn't show up, I decided that "Bob" was for real and
sent my $30 in. *shrug*

Atralakh Information Archives: ftp://atralakh.darktech.org
Atralakh Haven: telnet://atralakh.darktech.org:2300
My home page: http://home.centurytel.net/kronovohr/
E-mail: kronovohr<at>centurytel<dot>net

push ax,dx
xor dx,dx
pop ax
push computer,out_window
db 09 FF F8 F7 2E 0H SH 1T !!
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: [poll] How Did You Find The Church?
From: "Rev. Imposter, Uber-Fiend" <temujin9@t9.addr.CON>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Feb 10, 2000 8:16 PM
Message-ID: <q566assuretgtn334qkofhq6o24r137cq5@4ax.com>

On Wed, 09 Feb 2000 23:18:05 -0800, mizuno333
<luna_tic333@yahoo.co.uk> wrote:

Reverend Pee Kitty used to post regularly to gurpsnet-l back when I
first managed to get online. A couple years later, I downloaded Free
Agent so I could join some other newsgroup[1]. While paging through
the groups list, I noticed alt.slack, which I remembered it from Pee
Kitty's .sig.

I subscribed, and read through what was there. I joined after seeing
the reports of X-day; a brotherhood of freaks willing to tar and
feather its own leader, and the opportunity to join an expired cult,
hooked me.

temujin9
1) Of course, I can't remember what, and I'm no longer subscribed, in
any case.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: [poll] How Did You Find The Church?
From: shinpath@gol.com (SPLR Ministries, Western Japan)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: shinpath@gol.com
Date: Thu, Feb 10, 2000 8:28 PM
Message-ID: <38a365d1.55745353@nnrp.gol.com>

drv1@concentric.net (David R. Voth) wrote:

>On Thu, 10 Feb 2000 15:11:06 -0800, iPRONO <nenslo@subgenius.com>
>wrote:
>
>>David R. Voth wrote:
>>> nothing but LIES.
>
>SHUT THE FUCK UP
>
David, I think he means Paul Mavrides, a.k.a. LIES
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: [poll] How Did You Find The Church?
From: drv1@concentric.net (David R. Voth)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Feb 10, 2000 8:40 PM
Message-ID: <38a367cb.868567824@news.lightspan.com>

On Fri, 11 Feb 2000 01:28:16 GMT, shinpath@gol.com (SPLR Ministries,
Western Japan) wrote:

>drv1@concentric.net (David R. Voth) wrote:
>
>>On Thu, 10 Feb 2000 15:11:06 -0800, iPRONO <nenslo@subgenius.com>
>>wrote:
>>
>>>David R. Voth wrote:
>>>> nothing but LIES.
>>
>>SHUT THE FUCK UP
>>
>David, I think he means Paul Mavrides, a.k.a. LIES

Oh, that's different. Sorry NENSLO.

YOU can shut up now, Sven.

--
I used to be a miser. Now I'm "energy conscious".
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: [poll] How Did You Find The Church?
From: nu-monet <nothing@succeeds.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: like.excess@sex.org
Date: Thu, Feb 10, 2000 9:56 PM
Message-ID: <38A37A46.2884@succeeds.com>

mizuno333 wrote:
>
> Yes, how did you find the Chirch of the SubGenius? And I mean
> that in more ways than one. How did you find out about it?
> Though pamplets, radio, the internet? And once you found out
> about it how did you find it? Raw, extra crispy, sour, sweet,
> tastless? Tell us all about it; especially you lurkers out
> there; "Bob" is watching...
>

You'll have to go to Amsterdam to find out.

But by then it may be too late.

--------------------------------------------------

The chicken spread its wings and charged at Evan's
leg with beak open.

--Shirley West Johnson
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: [poll] How Did You Find The Church?
From: "Paul E. Jamison" <pauljmsn@freewwweb.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: pauljmsn@freewwweb.com
Date: Fri, Feb 11, 2000 1:07 AM
Message-ID: <38A3A71B.994CA65@freewwweb.com>

mizuno333 wrote:

> Yes, how did you find the Chirch of the SubGenius? And I mean
> that in more ways than one. How did you find out about it?
> Though pamplets, radio, the internet? And once you found out
> about it how did you find it? Raw, extra crispy, sour, sweet,
> tastless? Tell us all about it; especially you lurkers out
> there; "Bob" is watching...
>

How did I find the Church? I moved two peas and there it was.

Ha ha ha ... ha?

All right, I don't remember, okay? I went to SF conventions and
saw stuff, and I saw some articles here and there, so I just kind
of absorbed the "is"ness of the Church via osmosis.

And how do I find it now? Tastes great but it repeats on me in
the wee hours of the night. (And what's wrong with a religion
that you can taste over and over again?)

Paul E. Jamison, Esq. aka da Rev Lance Boyle
e-mail: paul(dot)e(dot)jamison(at)boeing(dot)com
replace (dot) and (at) with the obvious

"BABYLON 5! A five-mile long cement mixer of truth, pouring out the
Concrete of Nice-Nice in a long, grey ribbon into the future, to form a
***SIDE WALK OF JUSTICE!!***"
- The Tick on Babylon 5
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: [poll] How Did You Find The Church?
From: The Rev. Dr. Lt. Chaos Israel <chaisr@hotmail.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Feb 10, 2000 11:23 PM
Message-ID: <8802rf$g04$1@nnrp1.deja.com>

In article <103d414e.249b00f5@usw-ex0103-086.remarq.com>,
mizuno333 <luna_tic333@yahoo.co.uk> wrote:

> Yes, how did you find the Church of the SubGenius?

No, "IT" found me.

3 mysterious strangers claiming to be G.Gordon, nu-monet, & Nenslo,
broke into the Temple Chaos Israel and informed my that my blasphemous
rites were in violation of SubGenius copyleft. They broke into the Holy
of Holies and proceded to rearrange the altar service, stole all my
best Jack Chick stuff & replaced it with Pamphlets 1 & 2, and sprayed
Dobbshead stencils on the terracotta Cthulhu.

I won't tell you what they did to the choirgirls...

Anyway, they said if I didn't get right with "Bob" to the tune or a $30
membership, they'd sue. Since JHVH-3 didn't strike them dead on the
spot, I knew they were for real.

Send your $30 to Dallas, now!--or YOU could be next.
--
The Rev. Dr. Lt. Chaos Israel
Tactical Temple of the Fuel-Air Dobbs.
Send your fake UFO pix to:
chaisr@hotmail.com

Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: [poll] How Did You Find The Church?
From: saratoga@myremarq.com (China Phthalocyanine Blue)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Feb 11, 2000 12:00 AM
Message-ID: <saratoga-1002002100280001@ppp-207-214-211-23.sntc01.pacbell.net>

/ MU.

I've never gotten the detail of MU-calculus down straight. It's about
adding parallelism to LAMBDA-calculus, right? What do they do, add
Hoare-style channels?

/ > / tastless? Tell us all about it; especially you lurkers out
/ > / there; "Bob" is watching...
/ >
/ > Does Bob have Bob-nature? The road to Bob-nature does not lie through Bob.

--
CACS: Collective Against Consensual Sanity v0.123
Now a text site map! http://www.angelfire.com/ca3/cacs/
pretty? http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Studios/5079/
(SETQ TODAY (CAR (CDR LIFE)))
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: [poll] How Did You Find The Church?
From: Robert Jagger <jagger@oznog.org>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Feb 10, 2000 11:27 PM
Message-ID: <38A38FC4.3CDDCA09@oznog.org>

On Wed, 09 Feb 2000 23:18:05 -0800, mizuno333
<luna_tic333@yahoo.co.uk> wrote:

The place: High School
The time: 1991, spring freshman year

I was sitting in art class when a senior, with whom I had never talked
to before, walks up to me and says "you will need this soon." handing me
a sheet covered with little boxes and leaves the room. I sit perplexed
for a moment as to what he meant by that. After looking over text in a
few of the boxes I knew that I was on tom something that would change
the world. This page promised me wealth, power, women and SLACK all for
the price of $1 mailed to a po box in Dallas TX. I never talked to the
senior that had handed me a beaten copy of copy page #3 from the book of
the subgenius, and I have no idea where he went after high school but
that's ok because he was an arrogant asshole. I doubt the even knew what
he handed me, he was in no way anthing but pink. I think that he found
it on the floor, in the john, etc.. and read a bit was confused and said
huh I dont get it. Then he handed it to me as his idea of a joke. Well
he didnt realise what the punchline was.

Rev Jagger
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: [poll] How Did You Find The Church?
From: HellPope Huey <hphuey2000@my-deja.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Feb 11, 2000 12:28 AM
Message-ID: <8806lr$if5$1@nnrp1.deja.com>

In article <87vi5i015be@enews4.newsguy.com>,
"Andrew Sewell" <Arsewell@Tomah.com> wrote:
>
> >>Yes, how did you find the Church of the SubGenius? And I mean
> >>that in more ways than one. How did you find out about it?
> >>Though pamplets, radio, the internet? And once you found out
> >>about it how did you find it? Raw, extra crispy, sour, sweet,
> >>tastless? Tell us all about it; especially you lurkers out
> >>there; "Bob" is watching...
> >>
> 1990: freshman year of college, fresh from the sticks and straight to
> Madonna's Hometown, a vile pit of Pinkness if ever there was one. I
was
> hanging out with the crispy geekboys and lesbians in the sci-fi club
office
> on campus, and picked up a book with a strange cover. "Three-fisted
Tales of
> "Bob"? Wht the hell is this I asked?"
> "Oh, that's just this weird book of short stories. You can borrow it
if you> want."
> So I took it back to my dorm room, and read it all in one sitting. The
next> day, as if in a trance, I wrote out a check for $31, ordering my
membership
> and the Book of the Subgenius, sat on it to make sure the boys in
dallas> could whiff-read my PStench, and sent that sucker off to the
Holy P. O. BOX.
> I've been Full-on Subgenius for 10 years. The best 10 years of my
life. I've> followed the Path of Least Resistance and reaped its
rewards. I've tithed to
> "Bob" and preached to the unwashed. I've posted the lick and stick
stickers> in the book of Revelations of every gideon bible in every
hotel room I've
> stayed in. The Consiracy is my enemy, and to this day it throws up
> obstacles that keep me from the devivals, dokstoks and X-day drills
that i> should be attending.
>
> You may shrug in apathy right now.

No, man, that was beautiful! (sniff) You also responded to the query as
requested rather than jacking off on the furniture. Good SHOW!

Its extra-weird, but I didn't find the Church; it came KNOCKIN'. I was
doin' a morning drive-time radio show in Houston, Texass around 1982 and
was approached afterwards by Rev. D. Lee Lllama, long since killed by
the DrillMen, I'm sad to say. He handed me my first SubGenius Barrage
(Sex, Sickness & Slack), said "You don't know it yet, but YOU are a
SUBGENIUS!" He was right; an electric charge flowed through me, my prong
grew 2" (Yippee! FOUR!) and I've been a codified pervert ever since. Our
family has terrible table manners, but at least there's some fucking
FOOD!!

HellPope Huey,
Dildonics, Inc.
"Your pleasure is our main thrust"

"Tell them I have learned from mistakes
I may or may not have made."
- George W. Bush

Bats have sex in the

Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: [poll] How Did You Find The Church?
From: saintchronic@aol.com (SaintChronic)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Feb 11, 2000 1:00 AM
Message-ID: <20000211010007.01103.00002290@ng-fe1.aol.com>

SaintChronic
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: [poll] How Did You Find The Church?
From: fun@thingy.apana.org.au (David Gerard)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Feb 11, 2000 1:22 AM
Message-ID: <8809rg$ioo$1@thingy.apana.org.au>

I was seventeen; it was 1984. I'd heard whiffs of the word of "Bob" in
'Weirdo' and 'ZigZag'. And then I went into Black Plague Books, an
independent bookshop in Perth, Wessssstern Australia, to purchase
'Pornographie Catholique' after reading a good review of it (which I later
realised had been written by the owner of the shop). But, looking around,
I saw this strangely attractive work, concerning that SubGenius thing I'd
vaguely heard about. So I spent my scarce bucks on that instead. And I took
it home. And it explained EVERYTHING. And that's how I ended up here with
this chicken, officer.

--
http://xenu.netizen.com.au/ http://www.caube.org.au/
"O, the lusingest thing about lusers/ Is: a luser's the lusingest thing/ Their
heads are made out of jelly/ And their brains made out of wet string/ They're
stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid/ Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb/ But the lusingest
thing about lusers:/ There's always more than one!" (henke)
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: [poll] How Did You Find The Church?
From: "Abbess Abyss" <abbessabyss@uswest.net>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Feb 11, 2000 1:29 AM
Message-ID: <b0Oo4.410$Al2.14617@news.uswest.net>

"mizuno333" <luna_tic333@yahoo.co.uk> wrote in message
news:103d414e.249b00f5@usw-ex0103-086.remarq.com...
> Yes, how did you find the Chirch of the SubGenius? And I mean
> that in more ways than one. How did you find out about it?
> Though pamplets, radio, the internet? And once you found out
> about it how did you find it? Raw, extra crispy, sour, sweet,
> tastless? Tell us all about it; especially you lurkers out
> there; "Bob" is watching...
>
>
>
>
> * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet's Discussion Network
*
> The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet - Free!
>
I'd seen uncaptioned Dobbshead drawings here and there since the 80's, &
thought they looked stupid. I'd look, get a brief twinge of "maybe", then
ignored 'um, along with just about everything else.
I saw my first copy of the book at a friend of a friend's house. It was in a
stack of joke gifts some minor acquaintances were going to give someone,
along with an instructional video on breastfeeding. I opened it, expecting
hollow BS, but found surprizingly solid BS instead, and could not put it
down. The lifelong and nameless-- I never dreamed
1) there was anyone else
2) let alone anyone who would put ass on th' line, even if they *could* find
the best possible way to do it,
3) which they HAD! (Sheesh, I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in my
life.)

The rest of the tools I mean guys there had no empathy whatsoever. "Yuh,
it's fuh-nee, DUH." Ha ha or blase, no eye contact. (This was before I
learned the term Bobbie.)

Back then I was absolutely paranoid, and w/ one major intentional exception,
never left an authentic trail anywhere I cared about. So no matter how badly
I wanted to write the author/s, forget it. I settled for just knowing
something was there, somewhere. That lasted for years.

I would have stayed paranoid and closeted forever, except for a chance
encounter w/ a stranger in a hallway. I promised him something because he
had too beautiful eyes for such a bad idea. (only one person knows what i'm
talking about, and if you are reading, dear, yes that was me. don't let me
catch you a wearing button-down longsleeved shirt again, okay?) A promise
is a promise. I got online & sought my people in '99, without any chops (you
know how long I thought a third nostril was for SOMETHING ELSE ENTIRELY?
Long!), sense, or ability to communicate whatsoever, as most of you already
know. D'oh!
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: [poll] How Did You Find The Church?
From: shinpath@gol.com (SPLR Ministries, Western Japan)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: shinpath@gol.com
Date: Fri, Feb 11, 2000 9:12 AM
Message-ID: <38a418d8.101583466@nnrp.gol.com>

drv1@concentric.net (David R. Voth) wrote:

>>>
>>>>David R. Voth wrote:
>>>>> nothing but LIES.
>>>
>>>SHUT THE FUCK UP
>>>
>>David, I think he means Paul Mavrides, a.k.a. LIES
>
>Oh, that's different. Sorry NENSLO.
>
>YOU can shut up now, Sven.
>
What, you gonna make me? Since you've decommissioned your weapons,
why should I be afraid?
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: [poll] How Did You Find The Church?
From: davidvoth@ihateclowns.com (David Voth)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: davidvoth@ihateclowns.com
Date: Fri, Feb 11, 2000 10:21 AM
Message-ID: <38a429e8.171834718@news>

On Fri, 11 Feb 2000 14:12:20 GMT, shinpath@gol.com (SPLR Ministries,
Western Japan) was kind enough to write:

>drv1@concentric.net (David R. Voth) wrote:
>
>>>>
>>>>>David R. Voth wrote:
>>>>>> nothing but LIES.
>>>>
>>>>SHUT THE FUCK UP
>>>>
>>>David, I think he means Paul Mavrides, a.k.a. LIES
>>
>>Oh, that's different. Sorry NENSLO.
>>
>>YOU can shut up now, Sven.
>>
>What, you gonna make me? Since you've decommissioned your weapons,
>why should I be afraid?

What are YOU going to do, beat me over the head with a daikon radish?

--
Screamin' South Park Music invites you to download our songs FREE!
http://stations.mp3s.com/stations/6/screamin_south_park_music.html
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: [poll] How Did You Find The Church?
From: Name: PopeBlack <popeblack@hotmail.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Feb 11, 2000 2:08 PM
Message-ID: <881mni$m0a$1@nnrp1.deja.com>

In article <103d414e.249b00f5@usw-ex0103-086.remarq.com>,
mizuno333 <luna_tic333@yahoo.co.uk> wrote:
> Yes, how did you find the Chirch of the SubGenius? And I mean
> that in more ways than one. How did you find out about it?
> Though pamplets, radio, the internet? And once you found out
> about it how did you find it? Raw, extra crispy, sour, sweet,
> tastless? Tell us all about it; especially you lurkers out
> there; "Bob" is watching...
>
> * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet's Discussion
Network *
> The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet -
Free!
>
> I bought a copy of the Book of the SubGenius at the Kroger food
store on Silas Creek Parkway in Winston Salen N.C. in 1992. About a
month later I sent in my $20.00 (only cost that back there) and was
made a full fledged minister. Now look at me! I'm a cult leader in on
of the most dynamic organizations in THE WORLD!!!!!!! PRAISE ST. OTIS
CAMPBELL!!!!! PRAISE BOB!!!!

--
http://meltingpot.fortunecity.com/metric/302/
His divine grace,
The Second Luckiest Man Alive!
The Apostle Pope General Dr. Mighty David Lee Black THC MMDA

Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: [poll] How Did You Find The Church?
From: "Abbess Abyss" <abbessabyss@uswest.net>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Feb 11, 2000 4:25 PM
Message-ID: <A8%o4.177$j23.5617@news.uswest.net>

"Abbess Abyss" <abbessabyss@uswest.net> wrote in message
news:b0Oo4.410$Al2.14617@news.uswest.net...
>
> "mizuno333" <luna_tic333@yahoo.co.uk> wrote in message
> news:103d414e.249b00f5@usw-ex0103-086.remarq.com...
> > Yes, how did you find the Chirch of the SubGenius? And I mean
> > that in more ways than one. How did you find out about it?
> > Though pamplets, radio, the internet? And once you found out
> > about it how did you find it? Raw, extra crispy, sour, sweet,
> > tastless? Tell us all about it; especially you lurkers out
> > there; "Bob" is watching...
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet's Discussion
Network
> *
> > The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet - Free!
> >
> I'd seen uncaptioned Dobbshead drawings here and there since the 80's, &
> thought they looked stupid. I'd look, get a brief twinge of "maybe", then
> ignored 'um, along with just about everything else.
> I saw my first copy of the book at a friend of a friend's house. It was in
a
> stack of joke gifts some minor acquaintances were going to give someone,
> along with an instructional video on breastfeeding. I opened it,
expecting
> hollow BS, but found surprizingly solid BS instead, and could not put it
> down. The lifelong and nameless-- I never dreamed
> 1) there was anyone else
> 2) let alone anyone who would put ass on th' line, even if they *could*
find
> the best possible way to do it,
> 3) which they HAD! (Sheesh, I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in my
> life.)
>
> The rest of the tools I mean guys there had no empathy whatsoever. "Yuh,
> it's fuh-nee, DUH." Ha ha or blase, no eye contact. (This was before I
> learned the term Bobbie.)
>
> Back then I was absolutely paranoid, and w/ one major intentional
exception,
> never left an authentic trail anywhere I cared about. So no matter how
badly
> I wanted to write the author/s, forget it. I settled for just knowing
> something was there, somewhere. That lasted for years.
>
> I would have stayed paranoid and closeted forever, except for a chance
> encounter w/ a stranger in a hallway. I promised him something because he
> had too beautiful eyes for such a bad idea. (only one person knows what
i'm
> talking about, and if you are reading, dear, yes that was me. don't let me
> catch you a wearing button-down longsleeved shirt again, okay?) A promise
> is a promise. I got online & sought my people in '99, without any chops
(you
> know how long I thought a third nostril was for SOMETHING ELSE ENTIRELY?
> Long!), sense, or ability to communicate whatsoever, as most of you
already
> know. D'oh!
>

PS. Here? Pleasantly salty, but a bit underdone. I would think there'd be
more outpouring, more "As a matter of fact, the sun DOES shine out my
backside!" posts, more blazing gas filled zeppelins going down, more
hit-and-run bludgeoning assaults on richly deserving Slack sucking A-holes
and their festering institutions w/ mayonnaisse-filled stockings from behind
the bushes; bogus erotic astrology; the juiciest semi-public confessions all
the time---
I mean is it me or *shouldn't* there be a good rousing pinkass crucifixion
going on RIGHT HERE every time one of us hits "refresh"?!
To lurkers in particular, look. If you feel you need a reason to post,
consider: Some of us have been waiting ALL OUR LIVES for the company of
SUBGENII LIKE YOU. No kidding. You must know what it is like to walk all
day long among the so-called normal --they're EVERYWHERE-- and having to
listen to them all day.
To put it charitably, they are PATHOLOGICALLY ONE DIMENSIONAL.
To put it another way they bore the living shit out of me.
The things that matter to them SUCK.
They glorify THE LOWEST COMMON DENOMINATOR and FITTING IN (you know: all the
things that make the pelted kind find distasteful & DEEPLY DISTURBING.)
They have one personality: mindlessly snoring or bellowing,
offspring-devouring, walruslike OAF.
I have days when I almost enjoy making a game of stepping all over 'um, or
hopscotching or leapfrogging or getting 'um to fight amongst themselves
while I make my way around. I also have days when there's nothing I wouldn't
enjoy more than whitnessing their stupid guts blown skyhigh just to clear my
path.
But every day, without fail, one thing's consistant: I hate their fucking
guts for what they've done to my fellowYeti, with their bullying,
footbinding, search-and-destroy creativity rout, sheepshit waterslide
culture and a thousand other Slacksucking for Slacksucking's sake things.
You've seen one, you've seen 'um all. Whereas (allow me to contrast for a
minute) I have yet to meet anyone with the style & substance of, say, any
poster here, or in other s.g. archives, forums, or probably *you*.
Whatever you post = one less propaganda commercial for the so-called normal
that the rest of us have to endure. Where else can one celebrate the weird
that gets only gets you lynched in mixed company? It's Slackful &
heartening, and I sure am bloodthirsty to hear just how much you're looking
forward to the last pink oppressor who crossed you get STOMPED and PRICKED
to a PULP by giant mechanical porcupine marauders when the saucers come, or
what you're listening to musically these days, or instructions on how to
make an ebola blowgun out of a 2 litre soda bottle, whatever.

Listening,

Abbess Ramzeez II
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: [poll] How Did You Find The Church?
From: +ren+ <ren@netgoths.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: ren@netgoths.com
Date: Fri, Feb 11, 2000 5:48 PM
Message-ID: <38A491DB.A7CC43@netgoths.com>

It was on the inside cover of the back of a comic book called Weird War!

There he was with that pipe in his mouth. I cried; "Father! How may I sell for
thee?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: [poll] How Did You Find The Church?
From: kevbob@ecsis.net (kevbob)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, Feb 12, 2000 4:14 PM
Message-ID: <sabj9hj0ivs129@corp.supernews.com>

Mike Enlow

Wesley Willis

Mao Tse Tung

cuthulu

--
"Oh, the travel always gets me
Get in the car and drive it all over me"
-My Bloody Valentine
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: [poll] How Did You Find The Church?
From: König PrüB, GmbH <saurkraut@weinerschnitzel.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sun, Feb 13, 2000 10:41 PM
Message-ID: <saeub8i7ivs88@corp.supernews.com>

I found it up on blocks behind a tarpaper shack at the end
of a dirt road in Bogalusa, Louisiana. I traded two carp and
a bottle of wine for it. The body and frame are the only original
parts, as you might guess from the tangerine metalflake paint
and the 6:71 Jimmy huffer sticking up out of the hood.

Oh, and I kept the gun rack. But other than that, everything
is from Big Ed's Speed Shop and Crankshaft Co.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: [poll] How Did You Find The Church?
From: michaels@packet.obtero.com.au ()
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Feb 16, 2000 3:54 AM
Message-ID: <slrn8akpk9.8ip.michaels@packet.obtero.com.au>

<saurkraut@weinerschnitzel.com> wrote:
>>Yes, how did you find the Chirch of the SubGenius? And I mean
>>that in more ways than one. How did you find out about it?
>>Though pamplets, radio, the internet? And once you found out
>>about it how did you find it? Raw, extra crispy, sour, sweet,
>>tastless? Tell us all about it; especially you lurkers out
>>there; "Bob" is watching...

The damn thing followed me home one day. So far, it's followed me across
continents and timezones, and hasn't paid one fucking dollar of rent.

rev. null

2^6,972,593 -1 is prime! http://www.mersenne.org/
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: [poll] How Did You Find The Church?
From: "db" <bachner@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Feb 16, 2000 7:56 PM
Message-ID: <lHHq4.50110$45.2683556@news2.rdc1.on.home.com>

The Detroit News' arts and entertainment section printed a feature article
on the church back in 1990. I immediately wanted to contact them for more
info but the News didn't give a pobox or phone # or any way of getting in
touch.

The following summer I was visiting Cleveland for a few days, listening to
my favourite radio station WCSB 89.3. As a teenager back in the 80's, living
in rural Ontario near the northern shore of Lake Erie, I would listen to
WCSB whenever whether conditions made it possible to hear distant stations
from across the lake -- I had been an active DXer since I was about 10yrs
old. WCSB introduced me to alot of cool sounds back then - death metal,
punk, collage -- things that I would never have otherwise heard or known
about locally.... So anyway, several years later I'm visiting in Cleveland,
WCSB is on the radio and I hear a promo for this Church of the Subgenius
radio show - The Hour of Slack. I was both very amused and impressed that
the church had it's own "syndicated radio ministry". Unfortunately, my stay
in Cleveland wasn't long enough to be able to catch the broadcast.

Then one wintery night in Windsor, Ontario (at least 150 miles from
Cleveland) we were having some freaky snow thunderstorm. Before I went to
bed I was scanning my radio dial and was surprised to be receiving some
familiar Cleveland stations with surprisingly strong signal strength. I
thought I'd try picking up WCSB -- and sure enough, there it was -- kind of
weak, but listenable. An experimental soundscapes show called "Krap's Last
Tape" was winding down and the host says, "stay tuned for the Hour of
Slack"! I couldn't believe my luck! It was HOS #313, a repeat of #150 from
1988, introduced by Stang as an introductory type show, with lots of
commercial and public radio interviews, classic subhymns, and samples of the
Puzzling Evidence Show w/ Dr. Howl. I laughed my ass off!!! It was the radio
show of my wildest dreams. I especially liked the radio ministry style
delivery from Stang as he explains during an interview on some NPR affiliate
how "Bob cums and cums again and again -- to JUSTIFY our sins, to excuse our
sins, to offer you that great excuse that I KNOW you need my brothers and
sisters..."

Unlike my previous encounters with the subG propaganda, the Hour of Slack
DID actually give the Pobox in Dallas, but the reception had gradually
deteriorated to an unintelligable level. So I phoned WCSB for the address. I
immediately wrote to Stang for more info and how I could get the Hour of
Slack for our local university station. The Hour of Slack has been spewing
the word of Dobbs to the Windsor, Ontario / Detroit, Michigan area every
Saturday at 6pm on CJAM 91.5 FM ever since March 1992.

--DB

________________________________

****Idio Audio Worldwide****
Wednesdays 8-9pm Eastern / 0100 UTC Thursday
on WBCQ - The Planet http://wbcq.net
7.415 MHz on your SHORTWAVE dial.
WBCQ's Live Netcast http://wbcq.com
Idio Audio - Anytime! http://shoutcast.com/?s=idioaudio

Submit your audio oddities for airplay!
Idio Audio Worldwide
63 Brunswick Ave.
Toronto M5S2L8
Canada
hello@groovy.net
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: [poll] How Did You Find The Church?
From: "ICEKNIFE" <iceknife@lanminds.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Feb 22, 2000 8:59 PM
Message-ID: <sb6fonivr2a31@corp.supernews.com>

someone left it lying around, and I tripped over it in the dark
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: [poll] How Did You Find The Church?
From: Unit 4 <UnitIV@SPUTUM.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.hackers.beginner
Reply-To: unit4@sputum.com
Date: Wed, Feb 23, 2000 12:23 AM
Message-ID: <qjr6bs4231n7edtk8hu3efob9u6ceg4km7@4ax.com>

On Tue, 22 Feb 2000 17:59:05 -0800, "dumbass" <feeble@forgery> wrote, in
alt.slack:

}someone left it lying around, and I tripped over it in the dark

So, freeuk dumped you, huh?
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: [poll] How Did You Find The Church?
From: friday@fridayjones.com (Friday Jones)
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.hackers.beginner
Date: Wed, Feb 23, 2000 6:08 PM
Message-ID: <friday-ya02408000R2302001908500001@news.tiac.net>

http://www.fridayjones.com/testimoanial.html

--
Eternal salvation or TRIPLE your money back!
www.subgenius.com
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: [poll] How Did You Find The Church?
From: "ICEKNIFE" <iceknife@lanminds.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.hackers.beginner
Date: Wed, Feb 23, 2000 6:49 PM
Message-ID: <sb9751t8r2a94@corp.supernews.com>

Unit 4 wrote in message ...
>On Tue, 22 Feb 2000 17:59:05 -0800, "dumbass" <feeble@forgery> wrote, in
>alt.slack:
>
>}someone left it lying around, and I tripped over it in the dark
>
>So, freeuk dumped you, huh?

Yes, Dennis, freeuk dumped me. I em sadness meny day now.

LOOK... just because it's one line and DUMB
*DOESN'T* mean it's not ME, ok?

<SIGH>

want me to go back to using a sig? that what yer trying to
say?
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: [poll] How Did You Find The Church?
From: jimvan@gate.net (Jim Vandewalker)
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.hackers.beginner
Date: Fri, Feb 25, 2000 11:12 AM
Message-ID: <38b6a91d.2362702@news.newsguy.com>

On Wed, 23 Feb 2000 15:49:29 -0800, "ICEKNIFE" <iceknife@lanminds.com>
wrote:

>
>Unit 4 wrote in message ...
>>On Tue, 22 Feb 2000 17:59:05 -0800, "dumbass" <feeble@forgery> wrote, in
>>alt.slack:
>>So, freeuk dumped you, huh?
>
>Yes, Dennis, freeuk dumped me. I em sadness meny day now.
>
>LOOK... just because it's one line and DUMB
>*DOESN'T* mean it's not ME, ok?
>
><SIGH>
>
>want me to go back to using a sig? that what yer trying to
>say?
>
>
The old ICEKNIFE, the REAL ICEKNIFE, always used to put the Sacred PO
Box in his .sig. AND used to call up unnameable horrors from the abyss.
<sigh>

Did anybody save that code?

--
Jim the Dead Guy
Kind of an Unnameable Horror My Owndamself
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: [poll] How Did You Find The Church?
From: ???BÆK??? <dev@null.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Feb 25, 2000 6:39 PM
Message-ID: <19301864.14e3f00@your.house.watching.your.wife>

Unit 4 <UnitIV@SPUTUM.com> wrote:

>On Tue, 22 Feb 2000 17:59:05 -0800, "dumbass" <feeble@forgery> wrote, in
>alt.slack:

Tut tut !

>}someone left it lying around, and I tripped over it in the dark
>
>So, freeuk dumped you, huh?

The spoofer (and his account/s) are very much alive. That was the
*real Icey (confirmed) but you knew that . . . Right?

All the best ???BÆK???
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: [poll] How Did You Find The Church?
From: Unit 4 <UnitIV@SPUTUM.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: unit4@sputum.com
Date: Sat, Feb 26, 2000 12:50 AM
Message-ID: <jbqebs0ul8jsrkemh0evai4rtmcqeg2koa@4ax.com>

On Fri, 25 Feb 2000 23:39:23 +0000, ???BÆK??? <dev@null.com> wrote, in
alt.slack:

}Unit 4 <UnitIV@SPUTUM.com> wrote:
}
}>On Tue, 22 Feb 2000 17:59:05 -0800, "dumbass" <feeble@forgery> wrote, in
}>alt.slack:
}
}Tut tut !
}
}>}someone left it lying around, and I tripped over it in the dark
}>
}>So, freeuk dumped you, huh?
}
}The spoofer (and his account/s) are very much alive. That was the
}*real Icey (confirmed) but you knew that . . . Right?

Sure it was *one* of them.

http://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/pics2/eyepics/vandewalker/Iceknife_Comix.GIF

I'll spank anything that moves.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: [poll] How Did You Find The Church?
From: Unit 4 <UnitIV@SPUTUM.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.hackers.beginner
Reply-To: unit4@sputum.com
Date: Sat, Feb 26, 2000 12:48 AM
Message-ID: <j5qebs0tsk2fappid05ipj5kea1sndq4ga@4ax.com>

On Fri, 25 Feb 2000 16:12:25 GMT, jimvan@gate.net (Jim Vandewalker) wrote,
in alt.slack:

}On Wed, 23 Feb 2000 15:49:29 -0800, "ICEKNIFE" <iceknife@lanminds.com>
}wrote:
}
}>
}>Unit 4 wrote in message ...
}>>On Tue, 22 Feb 2000 17:59:05 -0800, "dumbass" <feeble@forgery> wrote, in
}>>alt.slack:
}>>So, freeuk dumped you, huh?
}>
}>Yes, Dennis, freeuk dumped me. I em sadness meny day now.

}>
}>LOOK... just because it's one line and DUMB
}>*DOESN'T* mean it's not ME, ok?
}>
}><SIGH>
}>
}>want me to go back to using a sig? that what yer trying to
}>say?
}>
}>
}The old ICEKNIFE, the REAL ICEKNIFE, always used to put the Sacred PO
}Box in his .sig. AND used to call up unnameable horrors from the abyss.
}<sigh>
}
}Did anybody save that code?

We commented out the address line when he was breaki.. er playing with
Palmjob. We didn't want the Foundation to start getting mailed in
"submissions".
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: [poll] How Did You Find The Church?
From: "ICEKNIFE" <iceknife@lanminds.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.hackers.beginner
Date: Sat, Feb 26, 2000 12:25 AM
Message-ID: <sbh9tbi9r2a110@corp.supernews.com>

Jim Vandewalker wrote in message <38b6a91d.2362702@news.newsguy.com>...
>On Wed, 23 Feb 2000 15:49:29 -0800, "ICEKNIFE" <iceknife@lanminds.com>
>wrote:
>
>>
>>Unit 4 wrote in message ...
>>>On Tue, 22 Feb 2000 17:59:05 -0800, "dumbass" <feeble@forgery> wrote, in
>>>alt.slack:
>>>So, freeuk dumped you, huh?
>>
>>Yes, Dennis, freeuk dumped me. I em sadness meny day now.
>>
>>LOOK... just because it's one line and DUMB
>>*DOESN'T* mean it's not ME, ok?
>>
>><SIGH>
>>
>>want me to go back to using a sig? that what yer trying to
>>say?
>>
>>
>The old ICEKNIFE, the REAL ICEKNIFE, always used to put the Sacred PO
>Box in his .sig. AND used to call up unnameable horrors from the abyss.
><sigh>
>
>Did anybody save that code?

That block doesn't go back into rotation until Jan 1, 2001.

It's an A.I. thing.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: [poll] How Did You Find The Church?
From: HellPope Huey <hphuey2000@my-deja.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.hackers.beginner
Date: Sun, Feb 27, 2000 12:13 AM
Message-ID: <89abq7$jah$1@nnrp1.deja.com>

In article <sbh9tbi9r2a110@corp.supernews.com>,
"ICEKNIFE" <iceknife@lanminds.com> wrote:
>
> Jim Vandewalker wrote in message
<38b6a91d.2362702@news.newsguy.com>...
> >On Wed, 23 Feb 2000 15:49:29 -0800, "ICEKNIFE"
<iceknife@lanminds.com>
> >wrote:
> >
> >> >>Unit 4 wrote in message ...
> >>>On Tue, 22 Feb 2000 17:59:05 -0800, "dumbass" <feeble@forgery>
wrote, in>>>alt.slack:
> >>>So, freeuk dumped you, huh?
> >>
> >>Yes, Dennis, freeuk dumped me. I em sadness meny day now.
> >>
> >>LOOK... just because it's one line and DUMB
> >>*DOESN'T* mean it's not ME, ok?
> >>
> >><SIGH>
> >>
> >>want me to go back to using a sig? that what yer trying to
> >>say?
> >>
> >>> >The old ICEKNIFE, the REAL ICEKNIFE, always used to put the
Sacred PO >Box in his .sig. AND used to call up unnameable horrors from
the abyss.
> ><sigh>
> >
> >Did anybody save that code?
>
> That block doesn't go back into rotation until Jan 1, 2001.
>
> It's an A.I. thing.
>
"Asshole Intensive?" You drobes are so busy knitting and unknitting
yer tentacular fingers, you're dissing Mother Friday and that's BAD. The
first offense is merely a SubMisdemeanor; on the second, you wake up
from the rubber body mallet anesthesia, look over to see your testicles
floating in a jar of moonshine and have to forever loop in your mind the
tender moment when they say "If you'd paid proper fealty, this never
would have happened, you wretched fuck."

I found the Church by lifting up a peyote button. I was a little
scared at first, but when it looked up at me with those moist, red,
baleful eyes, I just had to take it home. We've had our differences; it
got really offended when I ate that troll, but once I barfed it up,
things leveled out.

Its begun to outgrow its tank, but after the way it leapt out and
half-swallowed that goddamned 7th-Day Adventist on the front porch,
making me PEE at the sight of those kicking legs and the sound of those
muffled screams, I just plain fell in love. We've been real close ever
since. I'm gonna buy it a bigger tank next SaTurday.

HellPope Huey,
Sub-Podiatry, Pyroflatulator, Squid Licker, Synthesist
14030675214$30$30$30$30$30,000PRABOB

"The beer is warm, the women are cold
and a more POISONOUS little barbecue I've NEVER been to!"
- S

Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.

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