Date: Tue, 30 Apr 1996
Life's a bitch? Maybe yours. "Ninety-nine percent of life is what you
make of it, so if your life sucks, you suck." (Mike Muir) Life sucks,
compared to what? Life is what IS, so it can't be bad or good, but it can
be enjoyable. It just takes the right glands. Try to follow along...
Superiority? You think that just because you're my boss, or you're bigger
than me, or you've won a Nobel Prize, that you're my superior? Sure, that
works on most people, but I ain't most people! Do you think I worry about
being fired, beaten up, or made to look stupid? I don't give two shits;
I'll get another job, BOSS, or come back with a baseball bat, BUTCH, or
pay the big guy to kick your ass, EINSTEIN. You can get others to do what
you say, so you can be THEIR superior. But you know what? You listen to
YOUR boss, and to YOUR bullies, and to YOUR geniuses... and that's what
makes me YOUR superior.
Life after death? You want that, eh? Okay, sure... understandable. Just
one question: WHY?!? Why don't you try just enjoying the life you already
have instead of worrying about whether you get ANOTHER one to screw up
later on? If you KNOW you've got one now, why does it even matter whether
a second one is waiting? If you can't get it right one time, you'll never
get it right. Just accept it, roll over, and die. You could get out there
and slack off, but you won't, will you? Me, I enjoy my life, and if I've
got a second one waiting, I'll enjoy that, too.
Mind altering drugs? Shite, talk about diving into the shallow end of
the pool! Don't you know what a fully-glanded brain can do? Move into the
realm of drug altering MINDS! My Mountain Dew is a thousandfold more
powerful and sickening than your strongest peyote or LDS; the air in my
lungs makes my heart explode with every PUMP, unlike your single-death
crack! But no, no I don't think you ever will get it, will you? So go
"expand your mind" by watching mailboxes melt while I watch the spirits
of ancients that never even EXISTED engaging in omnidimensional tantric
rituals as the universe melts in the background, and we'll see who feels
more 'expanded'.
OBTW, if anyone was curious where I've been, I was hit by a semi truck
being driving by a drunken K'Taden Legume, and pronounced DOA. Life is
kinda funny like that, eh?
--
Rev. Pee Kitty, of the order Malkavian-Dobbsian
Meow!
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