I AM the unknown quantity! All my alphabet soup letters are X!
Quantum physics isn't even sure about me and Heisenberg has NO IDEA!
YEEEEHAW I have the pull cord on the rip-snort! I can handle my OWN
bags, thank you very much. I put the exclamation point in punctuated
equilibrium. HOT DAMN when I come I tip the RICHTER SCALE. FORGET
below, LOOK OUT ABOVE ME. The FAA calls ME for clearance, I AM the
CONTROL TOWER. WOOOOOOOOOOO I got me one WHOPPING good time, from one
end of time to the other. I MASTURBATE with my BRAIN and when I think
EVERYBODY COMES. I have more balls than ALL the bowling alleys in
CLEVELAND! I OVERDREW the WORLD BANK by writing checks that THEY CAN'T
CASH. When I'm on the prowl, LIFE is an ENDANGERED SPECIES.
AAAh-OOOOOO-Gah. Dive! Dive! Gets your ass in gear and I'll DRIVE YOU
HOME! I write PORNO for READER'S DIGEST! I AM JHVH-1's BEST FRIEND and
WORST NIGHTMARE. I am registered as a LETHAL WEAPON and have a license
to carry myself CONCEALED. My ideas are so big my BRAIN wears an
ATHLETIC SUPPORTER. DANGER! DANGER! DOCTOR SMITH IS FUCKING NUTS. I
pack my pipe with TNT! I'm an INEXHAUSTABLE NATURAL RESOURCE! I got
SANTA CLAUS on MY list and I ATE the EASTER BUNNY! GEEEEEEERRAAAARGH
my JOKES are funnier than REALITY and when I cry WHOLE NATIONS COMMIT
SUICIDE. AYE-YI-YI-YI-YI-YI-YI-YI "BOB" DAMN but I got me a HOT one.
A HOT and COLD marathon running one. The X-IST SAUCERS are my
FRISBEES. I got more meat than a Kansas City rib joint, it'd take a
nuclear arsenal just to BLOW ME. rrrrrrrrrrrr-RUFF RUFF RUFF! I gave
Karen Ann Quinlan TAP DANCE LESSONS and taught Stephen Hawkings how to
wrestle! I AM the MONSTER UNDER YOUR BED. I taught NASA how to SHOOT
THE MOON. My farts cure AIR POLLUTION and I piss CHOCOLATE LIQUER! My
genes are so dominant that I don't have to fuck to get women pregnant
-- I look at them hard and they SPEW OUT MY CLONES.
GETTHEFUCKOUTTATHEWAY I'm a HOT ROD. I'm an INCOMING ROUND. After me,
evolution GAVE UP AND QUIT. Thermodynamics follows MY rules!
Restaurants PAY ME to EAT THEIR FOOD. I didn't get a driver's license,
I got me a fucking UNCONDITIONAL SURRENDER from the Department of
Transportation. I eat BLASTING CAPS with milk and sugar -- snap,
Crackle, BOOM. I don't need a modem, I just STICK THE PHONE LINE in my
EAR. SHAZAM I'm the UBERHERO, the YETII MAJOR, the BEGINNING, the END
and the START OVER AGAIN!
----EOF
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