Perhaps one of you scientific types could create a really neat colorful
graph charting the peak of this newsgroup (sometime in January?) and its
subsequent decline into babbling bullshit...
What a pity.
--
>>>Dad's Frapulous Tape Torture<<<
**Send a tape. Get a tape. It's that sleazy!**
Mail to: Dad's New Slacks - P.O. Box 4272 - Portland, Maine 04101-4272
::::or kill me for more email:::::
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: modemac@netcom.com (Modemac)
Humbug. I agree that the momentum of this group has seriously slowed
since January, and it's time for us to get back on the stick and start
making it interesting. That's how it is with our beloved Church: If we
don't keep it in a state of constant change and evoltuion, it will
quickly bog down into "Bobbie"-isms and rampant babbling bullshit.
But things aren't as bad as you say - yet. I'm as guilty as everyone
else of just resting on my laurels and expecting others to keep the Slack
flowing, when in fact it's MY job. And YOURS.
So instead of whining about it, let's get back into the swing of things
and keep this newsgroup INTERESTING!
[On a somewhat related note, I just received email from Stang saying how
Metronet has been having posting problems.]
--
+---------------------------------------+
| Reverend Modemac (modemac@netcom.com) |
+-------------+ "There is no black and white." +------------+
| First Online Church of "Bob," A Subfaction of the Excremeditated |
| Congregation of the Overinflated Head of L. Ron Hubbard |
+------------------------------------------------------------------+
FINGER modemac@netcom.com for a FREE SubGenius Pamphlet!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: nenslo@teleport.com (NENSLO)
Michael Townsend (mtownsend@interramp.com) wrote:
: Perhaps one of you scientific types could create a really neat colorful
: graph charting the peak of this newsgroup (sometime in January?) and its
: subsequent decline into babbling bullshit...
Nenslo gripes; yeah, that'll really help out a LOT. Why bother actually
going to the trouble of trying to contribute anything of value to try to
swing the balance when you can just diagram the failure? No risk, no
chances. Great, Dad.
You whiners all ought to be ashamed. Even ICEKNIFE, though he
has yet to learn the difference between "obnoxious" and "funny" is
crossposting stuff of genuine interest and value. (I just wish he had
something INTELLIGENT to say as a followup. No, I don't think HAHAHA is
intelligent.)
If this newsgroup "sucks" then it's your sacred obligation to FIX
IT, not whine about it.
"MAKE IT WORK" - LRH
--
-Copyright NENSLO KDV 1995-
Send One Dollar to box 86582 Portland OR 97286
This is a READER SUPPORTED ministry.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: gilmore@en.com (Gilmore)
Huh. I still get a kick out o' this little den o' slack; it's good for a
couple of chuckles a day, which is more than I can say for
comp.infosystems.www.providers. What was it like before January? A
throbbing, pulsing, teeth-gnashing phlegm-spewing seventeen-mile-high
tower of SLACK-filled DEMENTERTAINMENT?
I doubt it, but I'd love to be proven wrong. CAUSE I ALWAYS AM!
--
\\\ _ / Gilmore Web Designer
\\\ // i r t u a l gilmore@vv.com "The world won't stand still..."
\\// / http://www.en.com/users/gilmore/gilmore.html
\/ \/ i S i o N s --------------- http://www.vv.com ----------------
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: ljduchez@en.com (Lou Duchez)
If you don't like it, then post better material. Or leave, if you don't
find the rest of us amusing enough. But I submit that anyone who posts
stuff that he finds satisfying, will find alt.slack satisfying.
In other words, participate, don't finger-wag!
And that goes for all of you too.
Cheez, what is it around here, everyone feels a need to complain that
alt.slack isn't weird enough for them. True, it could always be weirder.
But I intuit a certain tone of, "Oh, I *used* to think this was amusing,
but that was months ago." Look, Slack is what *you* make, and if you
expect me to make it for you, you're bound to be disappointed!
I'm surprised that I even have to point this out.
Hey, look at all the good stuff we got going here. We've got Modemac and
occasional Pee Kitty crosspostings, we've got Nenslo to berate us, Stang
to keep us up on the news, Sterno is only *occasionally* speaking English,
Dynasoar keeps us up to date on the medical scene, I'm posting the sacred
P.O. Box every chance I get, and the rookie ICEKNIFE is stealing our
hearts as a next wave of psychotic ranter. While it's true that we
shouldn't rest on our laurels, neither should we deny that alt.slack is
the longest-running 24-hour devival in SubGenial history (besides the
entire Atlantean culture).
The *only* thing that's wrong here, is that we have mere LURKERS among
us. Shit, we should be thinking Tower of Babel here, with every single
reader posting something incomprehensible.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: ncm5662@is2.nyu.edu (Nicole C. Michaud)
Michael Townsend (mtownsend@interramp.com) wrote:
: What a pity.
That's mainly because I've been keeping quiet lately. I'll try to do better.
---Rev. Nickie
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: anarch@cse.ucsc.edu (Anarch)
Can we say "crossposting?" I hope so.
anarch@cse.ucsc.edu +-+-+ Just because it's a JOKE doesn't mean it's not TRUE
D I S C L A I M E R : E V E R Y T H I N G I W R I T E I S F A L S E
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: MONTYKINS@news.delphi.com (MONTYKINS@DELPHI.COM)
ljduchez@en.com (Lou Duchez) writes:
>The *only* thing that's wrong here, is that we have mere LURKERS among
>us. Shit, we should be thinking Tower of Babel here, with every single
>reader posting something incomprehensible.
What? I don't understand.
-Monty
--
That one was just for me, folks.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: iceknife@ashram.com (ICEKNIFE)
N@> You whiners all ought to be ashamed.
EXCUSE ME FISHHED... the whiners, pillow biters, Pink Boyz, POWERFAGS,
and cry babies are YOUR followers... YOU'RE their KING, so I blame YOU!
N@> Even ICEKNIFE, though he has yet to learn the difference between
N@> "obnoxious" and "funny" is
nenslo standards are too anal and cretinous and smug and bloodless and
GODDAMN OOTSY for vertibrates... LOOK, PUTZWRINKLE, I'LL DO THE FUCKING
KILLJOKES AND YOU STICK TO THE WITLESS BUT EFFETE CRITIQUES FOR WHICH YOU
ARE SO WELL UNKNOWN!
N@> crossposting stuff of genuine interest and value. (I just wish he had
N@> something INTELLIGENT to say as a followup. No, I don't think HAHAHA
N@> is intelligent.)
IF and/or WHEN you think AT ALL, think of someone else... Thinking that
HAHAHAHAHAHA is INTENDED as something intelligent shows a definitive LACK
THEREOF!!! You wish I had something intelligent to say? I have, and usually
do... but I'm FAAAAR AWAY and hard to hear... since I don't type them,
because I DON'T GET PAID NEARLY ENOUGH TO BOTHER, you don't know what they
are; suffer, wheeeeee, and perish for the loss, smegmatron.
N@> If this newsgroup "sucks" then it's your sacred obligation to FIX
N@> IT, not whine about it.
right. GET TO WORK, YOU LAZY WERE-SLUG BASTARD!
N@> "MAKE IT WORK" - LRH
"WORK MY CRANK" - ICEKNIFE
This has been FROPTALK, with your host and moderator,
ICEKNIFE
... I LIKE NEWT! : SASE & $1 to P.O.BOX 140306 DALLAS TX 75214
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: dynasor@infi.net (Dennis McClain-Furmanski)
On Wed. Apr 19, 1995, iceknife@ashram.com told All:
ic> TO CUT A THING OUT AND DEVOUR IT IS NOT THEFT... IT IS OWNERSHIP BY
> DEFAULT DUE TO UNFORSEEN CONQUEST
I swear to fucking "Bob" I almost choked when I read that.
That's the kind of stuff entire governments are made of.
Twisted, sick, destructive ones, but then which ones aren't.
ic> I don't really think of myself as "ranting"... I prefer to define
> what I do in terms of a happy little bluebird singing merrily away
> all the happy day,
ic> IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!
Until the little blue fucker comes close enough to grab and smash against
the wall. But for ART's sake.
* 2qwk! 1.26b3 * All I want for Christmas is a box of Smurfs and a
mallet.
--
dynasor@infi.net The Doctor is on.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: modemac@netcom.com (Modemac)
Subject: Complacency is Pinkness!
An expansion on my previous message to Reverend Townsend:
The danger DOES exist that alt.slack will descend back into the Pink,
cascade-ridden mire from whence it sprang! And it will be no one's fault
but OUR OWN!
Our problem is this: We have sat back and enjoyed each other's company,
to the point where we have stopped SEEKING OUT FRESH NEW VIRGIN BLOOD to
sacrifice to "Bob." We are already letting our familiarity with each
other weaken the newsgroup to the point where it is fast becoming that
which we dreaded at first: ONE BIG IN-JOKE. Oh yes, friends, WE sit
around and talk about the Conspiracy and make jokes and puns to each
other, but are we actually DOING something about it? Are we setting a
good example for the lurkers curious about "Bob," who may be potential
new recruits - and even NEW SOURCES OF CASH?!?
And I'm damn well blaming MYSELF along with everyone else here for this
sad state of affairs! I've just taken a look at myself, and I realize
that I'm barely READING this newsgroup anymore! I'm not "in touch" with
a lot of the threads, and I'm finding much of the stuff here to be a
waste of time. So I'm just skipping over it and hoping that someone
produces something interesting, something worth commenting on.
AND THERE LIES MY SIN!
THIS IS THE WAKE-UP CALL FOR ALT.SLACK! We are in danger of becoming a
group of "Bobbies," here, for Crist-fucking sake!!!
It's time for all of us to get off our fat behinds and get things jumping
again.
In short, ALT.SLACK MUST SCHIZM ITSELF and rid itself of the
KISS-ASS-NESS that has infected this newsgroup!!!
Remember the Sacred Commandment:
"If a Clench starts to become too boring, repetitive, unoriginal and above
all too KISS-ASS, the Clench should immediately affect a dissolution of
itself before the Father Church os forced to humiliate and damn it out of
existence. The antispontaneity of "Bobbies" which turns Holy Clenchdom
into a "Bob" Fan Club (no longer an exercise of abnormality, but a
conformity of noncopnformists) is THE WORST FORM OF BACKSLIDING."
-- The Book of the SubGenius, Chapter 17
Things happen SO FAST here on the Net that the infection of Pinkness here
has happened in only a couple of months - while the same thing may take
YEARS in the so-called "Real World!!!"
* * *
So, WHAT CAN WE DO ABOUT IT?
The solution, my friends, is to start SPREADING YOUR OWN FORM OF SLACK
here on this newsgroup. Remember - Slack for YOU is not necessarily
Slack for others, and thus we MUST NOT ASK FOR EACH OTHER'S PERMISSION in
finding stuff to post here.
SLACK COMES FROM YOU - NOT FROM THIS NEWSGROUP. NOT FROM THE CHURCH OF
THE SUBGENIUS. NOT FROM "BOB."
It's time to GET GOING ONCE AGAIN.
BECAUSE SLACK ALWAYS COMES FIRST!!!
--
+---------------------------------------+
| Reverend Modemac (modemac@netcom.com) |
+-------------+ "There is no black and white." +------------+
| First Online Church of "Bob," A Subfaction of the Excremeditated |
| Congregation of the Overinflated Head of L. Ron Hubbard |
+------------------------------------------------------------------+
FINGER modemac@netcom.com for a FREE SubGenius Pamphlet!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: dynasor@infi.net (Dennis McClain-Furmanski)
On Mon. Apr 17, 1995, modemac@netcom.com told All:
mc> The danger DOES exist that alt.slack will descend back into the Pink,
> cascade-ridden mire from whence it sprang! And it will be no one's
> fault but OUR OWN!
In both action and consensual perception.
So change the fucking channel. You are what you think.
Worse yet, you are what someone else thinks if you choose to believe them.
Worst of all, you see others as what you think if you don't accept
responsibility for creating your own reality, and they theirs.
"You are the director, as well as the protagonist." And so are we all.
Let ME run my movie, OK? And you run yours.
mc> Our problem is this: We have sat back and enjoyed each other's
company,
> to the point where we have stopped SEEKING OUT FRESH NEW VIRGIN BLOOD
> to sacrifice to "Bob." We are already letting our familiarity with
> each other weaken the newsgroup to the point where it is fast
becoming
> that which we dreaded at first: ONE BIG IN-JOKE. Oh yes, friends, WE
> sit around and talk about the Conspiracy and make jokes and puns to
> each other, but are we actually DOING something about it? Are we
> setting a good example for the lurkers curious about "Bob," who may
be
> potential new recruits - and even NEW SOURCES OF CASH?!?
And are 'we' taking our instilled self-reliance on the road and attacking
the conspiracy in its hole? If so, are we doing it as an individual, or
are we still rallying behind the "Bob" flag?
Rallying is cowering for those too stupid to know they're not capable of
acting on their own.
mc> And I'm damn well blaming MYSELF along with everyone else here for
this
> sad state of affairs! I've just taken a look at myself, and I
realize
> that I'm barely READING this newsgroup anymore! I'm not "in touch"
> with a lot of the threads, and I'm finding much of the stuff here to
be
> a waste of time. So I'm just skipping over it and hoping that
someone
> produces something interesting, something worth commenting on.
mc> AND THERE LIES MY SIN!
Finally, an 'I'.
mc> In short, ALT.SLACK MUST SCHIZM ITSELF and rid itself of the
> KISS-ASS-NESS that has infected this newsgroup!!!
No, EACH INDIVIDUAL must schism off and stand on their own feet.
Unless you want mere rearrangement of the web of dependence.
mc> The solution, my friends, is to start SPREADING YOUR OWN FORM OF
SLACK
> here on this newsgroup. Remember - Slack for YOU is not necessarily
And maybe a few other places too. Like the real world. Otherwise it's not
a church -- it's merely and entertainment object.
> Slack for others, and thus we MUST NOT ASK FOR EACH OTHER'S
PERMISSION
> in finding stuff to post here.
Did someone say this lately? Maybe in a few more words, but I could have
sworn I read this lately.
mc> SLACK COMES FROM YOU - NOT FROM THIS NEWSGROUP. NOT FROM THE CHURCH
OF
> THE SUBGENIUS. NOT FROM "BOB."
* 2qwk! 1.26b3 * Eagles fly, but weasels don't get sucked into jet
engines.
--
dynasor@infi.net The Doctor is on.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: mesmith@cris.com (Mark E. Smith)
In article <modemacD775w0.JLt@netcom.com>, modemac@netcom.com (Modemac) wrote:
> BECAUSE SLACK ALWAYS COMES FIRST!!!
AND ALWAYS TOO SOON!
Maybe there's a reason why I don't show up here everyday, totin'
a big bushel basket full o' Slack for everybody to pass around.
Maybe it's because I DON'T HAVE ANY!
I'm the biggest, baddest, slacklessest, most bodacious ConDupe
that ever punched a time clock. I come here to alt.slack hoping
for a little Contact Slack to rub off on me, and stick to my
clothes and hair. I need Slack, and I need it bad. And don't
nobody want to give it to me. If you knew what my job was, and
what I have to do every day just so they'll keep giving me MONEY,
you'd probably be more disgusted than k.d. lang at the Iowa State
Fair. It's pathetic.
Sure, we've got to spend a lot of time worrying about how to get
Slack. It's our own asses we have to worry about. But how can
we SPREAD Slack? We ought to be looking for ways to give it to
other people, WHETHER THEY WANT IT OR NOT!
Example. When you go to the drive-through window at your local
Golden Cleavage burger joint, pay for your stuff AND pay for the
guy behind you. (First, you might want to check to be sure the
guy behind you isn't driving a van full of ravenous Little
Leaguers.) BUY THAT GUY'S LUNCH! Do it! You won't necessarily
be doing him a favor. If he's too Pink -- like me -- he'll
probably be frightened half out of his Con-besotted wits, and
spend the rest of his day looking in his rear-view for your car,
afraid that you're waiting for your chance to sneak up on him
unobserved and perform "Bob"-knows-what perversion on him.
Yes, you too can jack around with people's minds by being
inexplicably nice to them. Scares 'em out of five years of life
and a couple of dozen bowel movements. Be sure to pick an
opportunity that leaves no possibility of your ever being repaid
for your kindness. THAT'LL SHOW THOSE BASTARDS!
People just aren't accustomed to being treated nicely any more,
so much so that when it DOES happen, all their internal alarms go
off and they feel like they're being RAPED BY ANGELS!
... And while I'm on the subject -- beware of angels! Especially
so-called "guardian angels." They're vicious little sons of
bitches. I'm suing mine for malpractice at this moment.
--
Mark E. Smith <mesmith@cris.com>
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: pkitty@netcom.com (Purple Kitty)
Modemac (modemac@netcom.com) wrote:
: Are we setting a
: good example for the lurkers curious about "Bob," who may be potential
: new recruits - and even NEW SOURCES OF CASH?!?
<raising hand> Um...well, you did get ONE new virgin who's happily
spilling his blood (er, among other bodily fluids...if you're not sure
which, look for my ANDGASM post) for "Bob" and alt.slack. I can't find
that much to do on here to DO anything EXCEPT talk about the Con, etc.,
because that's all you can really DO on a newsgroup!!! :-) In Real
Life(TM), however, I do a SHITLOAD. Preaching to people, scrawling the
word of "Bob" wherever I can (along w/the sacred P.O.Box) and attacking
the Con ways that I don't really want to mention on a public forum like
this. Maybe a CALL TO LURKERS thread(s) is needed...
: The solution, my friends, is to start SPREADING YOUR OWN FORM OF SLACK
: here on this newsgroup. Remember - Slack for YOU is not necessarily
: Slack for others, and thus we MUST NOT ASK FOR EACH OTHER'S PERMISSION in
: finding stuff to post here.
Hell, I wouldn't ask for permission to CRASH the group if I could. :-)
NewBlood Reverend of the Church of Nenslo and Iceknife's Bastard Love
Childe Pee Kitty
--
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: pkitty@netcom.com (Purple Kitty)
Michael Townsend (mtownsend@interramp.com) wrote:
: Perhaps one of you scientific types could create a really neat colorful
: graph charting the peak of this newsgroup (sometime in January?) and its
: subsequent decline into babbling bullshit...
: What a pity.
Um, let me guess...when you're at a party that sucks, you just sit in the
corner and mope instead of jumping on the table and starting a one-man
limbo contest...right?
POST SOMETHING! Something more than a wimperwimperwhinewhite! This is a
MULTIPERSON newgroup, "Bob"dammit, which means that YOU aren't allowed to
feel SELF-PITY cuz this newsgroup ain't for yo' own personal SELF! Only
MASS-ORGANIZED MULTISELF PITY is allowed, and that will take EFFORT!
ORGANIZATION! Someone has to print up the INVITATIONS! Gawd, this is more
trouble than it's worth...I'm just gonna go mope in the corner. Someone
else start organizing. It's not MY responsibility...<sulking in self-pity>
High Minister of the Church of Atheism Pee Kitty
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: MONTYKINS@news.delphi.com (MONTYKINS@DELPHI.COM)
pkitty@netcom.com (Purple Kitty) writes:
>Um, let me guess...when you're at a party that sucks, you just sit in the
>corner and mope instead of jumping on the table and starting a one-man
>limbo contest...right?
Boy, *I* sure the fuck do! Happens I enjoy moping! A lot! Moping is LOADS
of fun!
SUlking is good, too, but only when there isn't time for a good mope.
-Monty
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: mtownsend@interramp.com (Michael Townsend)
I was surprised by all the response this post got, both here and in my
email. A lot of it has been vaguely similar -- total denial, followed by
half-hearted agreement. As usual, Modemac said it best: "Humbug!"
followed-up by "it's a wake up call!" The truth is, I was just probably
having a bad day, and after sifting through 450 messages and not finding
anything that particularly tickled by "Bob"-bone, I posted a bit of
sarcasm about computer graphs. I DIDN'T MEAN IT LITERALLY, NENSLO.
Anyway, I noticed several references in all this to somebody named
Iceknife. Never heard of him. Does he post to alt.slack? I guess his
stuff just isn't reaching my server. Ah well, so goes Usenet...
-Dad-
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: clavis@phantom.com (Grand Clavister)
I envy you. I hate entering alt.slack-space, and going "Ooo! 100 new
posts, and it's only been 8 hours!", and finding that 30 or so of the new
posts are this peecube ICEKNIFE Re:'ing every current thread by going,
"HEY ME BEST NO ONE ARRRRGH!!! OF ALL IN QUIDS!!!" and so on. It's best
you not have to breathe that kind of fume.
the Grand Clavister
(who doesn't mind insanity when it's free to be discarded. Or not. Yes.)
--
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: gr837@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Michael Townsend)
In a previous article, pkitty@netcom.com (Purple Kitty) says:
>...reading alt.slack is like a <insert metaphor here>
Reading alt.slack is like taking a good shit. The better it is, the
emptier you feel.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: pkitty@netcom.com (Purple Kitty)
Grand Clavister (clavis@phantom.com) wrote:
: I envy you. I hate entering alt.slack-space, and going "Ooo! 100 new
: posts, and it's only been 8 hours!", and finding that 30 or so of the new
: posts are this peecube ICEKNIFE Re:'ing every current thread by going,
: "HEY ME BEST NO ONE ARRRRGH!!! OF ALL IN QUIDS!!!" and so on. It's best
: you not have to breathe that kind of fume.
Naaaah...Iceknife's great! Just like Nenslo, Tarla, Dyna, you, Stango,
and the others (didn't forget, I just don't feel like typing names for a
whole paragraph!)...reading alt.slack is like a <insert metaphor here>.
Iceknife's insane ranting, Nenslo's staunch debriefings, <insert everyone
here>'s cross-posting, etc, etc, etc...it all adds to the effect! Kinda
like making a casserole out of ALL the leftovers in the fridge. The
Jell-O and pork gravy might not always mix well, and might taste odd by
themselves, but mix them with the angel food cake and macaroni and you've
got one helluva unique taste sensation!
Just my $2 (inflation)
Reverend Pee Kitty (who had to threaten to lasso a waitress tonight to
get a refill)
--
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: jlyons@haven.ios.com (John)
I agree. Icy and Koos Nolst Trenite are the only people around
here who consistently make TOTAL SENSE. Obey them.
--
| John | |
| jlyons@haven.ios.com | (.sig under construction) |
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: iceknife@ashram.com (ICEKNIFE)
Lines: 35
Almost correct. Please take nensloiter off that list. He's NOT great. His
Nentle Ife is great, but he HIMSELF is like a slice of luncheon loaf...
you don't know what it is, it looks like bologna from hell, and it has those
icky little unidentifiable colored chunks in it... it LOOKS like it should
be food, but it's not... THAT'S nensloader.
P@> metaphor here>. : Iceknife's insane ranting
You seem a bit confused. Let me help clarify. When I rant, I make complete
and total sense. When in conversational mode (like now) I'm utterly insane,
and must be planning something more horrible than your imagination could
ever wrap itself around, even AFTER the fact.
J@> I agree. Icy and Koos Nolst Trenite are the only people around
J@> here who consistently make TOTAL SENSE. Obey them.
True enough and prettily groveled enough to earn you a place on the Attack
Deck of the lead KILLSHIP... scraping NOTOGUM from the MYSENSOTANKS (tm)
for the entire trip for adding that THING thing to the list of beings to
obey.
IN SPACE, YOU HAVE TO LIGHT YOUR OWN FARTS
ICEKNIFE
... AQUIRE INCHES IN DAYS! : SASE & $1 to P.O.BOX 140306 DALLAS TX 75214
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: ljduchez@en.com (Lou Duchez)
Here's my theory: NENSLO is just a future version of ICEKNIFE come into
the past to keep ICEKNIFE from making the same mistakes as a youth. It
all makes much more sense that way.
Original file name: the decline of alt.slack
This file was converted with TextToHTML - (c) Logic n.v.