"It was on the news, I think. Congress just passed that new anti-
discrimination bill. I'm glad...I support equal rights for everyone. You
know that, right? I hire as many blacks as I can. I mean, not as many as
I CAN because that would be an all-black company, except for me, you
know? Heh, heh. Anyway, I mean I don't care about that kind of stuff
when I'm looking at a black applicant. I just picture him as a white man
and then decide whether I'd hire him if he was white. If he's the right
man for the job, I'll put him right in with the white workers. That way
you don't have that whole distinction between 'white' parts of the
company and 'black' parts...just between the workers, you know?
"And I'm probably the only white guy I know who can say that I don't
care if my daughter married a black man. Hell, more power to her! As
long as she's marrying a decent guy...I wouldn't want her marrying
someone from skid row or on welfare. But I'd feel the same about a white
man! Don't get me wrong...I don't want to say that only black people are
on welfare. I'm proud of not being prejudiced, and I hate when something
comes out that can be misconstrued like that.
"Hell, I wouldn't even care if my daughter married another woman!
Even if it was a black woman! Heh, heh. I mean, she's not gay, thank
God, but it would be okay if she was. I'm not prejudiced about things
like that. I have a few gay employees working for me...I usually assign
them to work with the girls, just to avoid trouble from the other male
workers. I mean, I'm not prejudiced, but a lot of people still are,
right? I don't want to have to come down there because some worker got
mad and attacked one of them for acting too gay; I've got bigger
problems than workers antagonizing each other like that. I've got a
company to run, Goddamnit.
"You know, I used to work with a gay guy, before I started my own
business. Well, okay, I should say that I'm not ONE HUNDRED percent sure
he was gay--he wasn't out of the closet or anything; probably 'cause he
would have gotten fired in a second--but I knew he was. You know what I
mean...the way they act and all that, even when they're trying to
pretend that they're straight, a little bit of the gay slips through. I
suppose it was a damn good thing that I was the one who worked with him
the most; I was probably the least prejudiced person in the plant--the
only one who wouldn't 'out' him to the boss. I wouldn't do something
like that. You shouldn't be fired just because you like hairy asses; I
mean, it's gross, but it's not like they're killing anyone! Well,
there's AIDS, but everyone says it's not really their fault...so I guess
I believe the reports. Of course, who trusts statistics, right? Heh,
heh.
"No, seriously, I'm a man of the nineties and all that. Hey, that
reminds me of something funny. My daughter was just telling me that one
of her classmates is a black lesbian, in a wheelchair! Ha-ha-ha... I
mean, you know I'm not laughing at the poor girl for being handicapped!
It's just that it's kind of funny...you know, 'three strikes, and you're
out'? Man, that girl is going to have a hard time getting a job...well,
not if she came to MY company, of course! A girl in a wheelchair makes
just as good a secretary whether she's black or white, gay or straight,
and you can put me on record as saying that. I'd just make sure she knew
not to hit on any of the other girls in the secretarial pool; the last
thing I need now is some girl complaining about being hit on by a
crippled lesbian... Hmm... you know, I just thought...if I were in a
wheelchair, I'd probably be a lesbian, too. Sex is easier that way...I
mean, I've seen plenty of pornos--nothing wrong with that--and girls
don't have to do too much unless the guy gets involved. Of course, I
haven't seen any black lesbo porn...it might be different for them.
"Well, what it all comes down to--what I'm saying--is that it's all
okay. It's OKAY for someone to be black. It's OKAY for someone to be
gay. That's why I don't like people who are prejudiced. They think that
it's some kind of sin or something to be black or hispanic or gay. Well,
one of my friends says that it IS a sin to be gay, but that's not my
point. My point is that, no matter what we think, we shouldn't come down
on these people! It's not like they could be white or straight, even if
they wanted to, so what's the point in hating them? Hell, that's the key
to world peace right there, right? If we just loved everyone, and
overlooked what they are, we wouldn't fight anymore! And if that means
that I have to work with a whole bunch of black and gays and other
people like that to achieve world peace, then I'm willing to do that. I
just wish that more people were as unprejudiced as I am."
Reverend Pee Kitty, of the Order Malkavian-Dobbsian
--
Meow!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: testa@starbase.neosoft.com (Andrew J. Testa)
And just what the HELL do mean by posting this to just alt.slack?!?
Yer WASTING yer TALENT PK! CROSS_POST! This is too good to keep to
ourselves. Give it the Limbots! the white nationalists! The feminists!
Get the left AND the right pissed at you! It's your FATE to TWIST
THEIR KNICKERS!
Now be a good kitty and do it right. Maybe I'll let you roll on those
pants of mine the lion sprayed.
--
/ Xenu stole my lunch money \
/ Andy Testa (KoX) I'm OT! I could KILL you with \
\ testa@hou.moc.com a thought! BWAAAHHAAAAHAAAAAA! /
\ Contributing to the downfall of Scientology since 1995. /
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Cheryl E." <erickso1@freenet.calgary.ab.ca>
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.religion.christian,soc.rights.human,alt.feminazis,alt.mens-rights,alt.politics.equality,alt.politics.homosexuality,alt.politics.nationalism.white,soc.men,soc.women,triangle.politics,alt.christnet.christianlife,alt.discrimination
Many people would see you as being very prejudice, but someone who is
trying to battle prejudisim and that is good.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: testa@starbase.neosoft.com (Andrew J. Testa)
The hooked fish Cheryl E. (erickso1@freenet.calgary.ab.ca) posted:
* Many people would see you as being very prejudice, but someone who is
* trying to battle prejudisim and that is good.
Hey, THAT didn't take long. Rev. Pee Kitty posted the troll at:
Date: Thu, 11 May 1995 04:27:05 GMT
Cheryl grabbed and flailed, if weakly and without spirit, at:
Date: Thu, 11 May 1995 05:23:07 -0600 (MDT)
As I, as a matter of faith, don't believe in time zones, I'll let the
reader figger out the elapsed time.
--
/ Xenu stole my lunch money \
/ Andy Testa (KoX) I'm OT! I could KILL you with \
\ testa@hou.moc.com a thought! BWAAAHHAAAAHAAAAAA! /
\ Contributing to the downfall of Scientology since 1995. /
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.religion.christian,soc.rights.human,alt.feminazis,alt.mens-rights,alt.politics.equality,alt.politics.homosexuality,alt.politics.nationalism.white,soc.men,soc.women,triangle.politics,alt.christnet.christianlife,alt.discrimination
From: pkitty@netcom.com (Purple Kitty)
Michael (gooshie@deltanet.com) wrote:
: [too long!!! much too long!!!]
Excuse me, but someone with a TWENTY-LINE .sig reeeeally shouldn't be
complaining about something being too long. I'll take 90 lines of thought
over 20 lines of a mouse any day...
: >...people like that to achieve world peace, then I'm willing to do that. I
: > just wish that more people were as unprejudiced as I am."
: Uh, o-kay-y-y-y-y-y.(stepping back slowly with hands raised in a calming
: gesture). Got a refill of Prozac did we?
I take that gesture as surrender? Okay, come with me and nobody gets hurt.
<20-line "Wow, a conservative Animaniacs fan...amazing!" .sig snipped>
Reverend Pee Kitty
--
Meow!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: pkitty@netcom.com (Purple Kitty)
Andrew J. Testa (testa@starbase.neosoft.com) wrote:
: As I, as a matter of faith, don't believe in time zones, I'll let the
: reader figger out the elapsed time.
That would mean...that they answered BEFORE I posted it? Hell, I don't
believe in time zones either...maybe I'll go back in time and ask myself.
A nice catch...took it seriously, but got an appropriate meaning out of it.
I won't throw this one back...:-)
Rev Pee Kitty
--
Meow!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: pkitty@netcom.com (Purple Kitty)
Thomas Disque (disque@sauron.unx.sas.com) wrote:
: |> Many people would see you as being very prejudice, but someone who is
: |> trying to battle prejudisim and that is good.
: What I see is a liberal trying to parody supposedly conservative attitudes.
<BUZZZZ!> Wrong, but thanks for playing. (I am neither a Liberal nor a
Conservative...though if those ARE Conservative attitudes, I feel damned
sorry for them.) You're allowed two more guesses...
Reverend Pee Kitty
--
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: pkitty@netcom.com (Purple Kitty)
Michael Zayas (sasmlz@pompetus.unx.sas.com) wrote:
: Is this for real? Heh heh?
<shrug> Look around you...
Reverend Pee Kitty
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: ac118@lafn.org (Matthew Carey)
In a previous article, pkitty@netcom.com (Purple Kitty) says:
>
>Oooh! Okay, okay! I'll start x-posting right away!
WAIT! First you got to remove the quote marks from that thing, because
it makes it look like you're 'just kidding.' Nobody causes trouble when
they're just kidding, they only get laughs -- if they're lucky. That's
why 'I was just kidding' has been used as a defense in so many fraud
cases and worked so many times.
Then after you take out the quotes, xpost to alt.fan.rush-limbaugh,
alt.homosexual, alt.activism, and some christian newsgroups.
Stick alt.fan.the-bob in there too, please. They need all the trouble
they can get.
--
Rev. Matthew A. Carey Rips \ on Vision Temple--Tarzana, CA
18653 Ventura Blvd., Suite #379 ]\[ "We are not an occult."
Tarzana, Calif. 91356 Rips \ off mnbvc
ac118@lafn.org ]\[
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: bmyers@ionet.net (Nightmare Hippy Boy)
disque@sauron.unx.sas.com (Thomas Disque) wrote:
>In article <desmay-1205951654250001@d107.tp.interaccess.com>, desmay@interaccess.com (Dean Esmay) writes:
>|>
>|> Prejudice is with us always. People of all races, sexes, and body types
>|> are prejudiced. Sometimes, prejudice has a real-life basis, whether we
>|> like it or not. Frequently, prejudice isn't based on hatred or
>|> intolerance.
>Always, prejudice is based on ignorance. You can hate a group if you
>don't know any of the individuals that make up that group. It becomes
>much harder once you get to know the individuals.
Not true...I hate Normals, and I know plenty of them. In fact, it's
knowing them that MAKES me hate them.
--
Reverend Mutha Tarla, Little Sisters of the Perpetually Juicy,
A Proud Jism Schism of the Church of the SubGenius, Worshipping
"Connie" Dobbs and Juicy Retardo since 1986
http://www.ionet.net/~bmyers/homepage.html
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: ac118@lafn.org (Matthew Carey)
Well you can always hone it up and down so it's got an higher devastation
quotient and post it all over again, but to all different groups. The
art of the crossposted troll is one which needs to be perfected, and soon.
>
>I didn't do a.f.r-l, because I wasn't sure if it was pro or con!
The post or the group? Either way it doesn't matter. Afrl is basically
a flame group (who'da guessed?) so if you post anything there that
doesn't look like an obvious troll, it has a 57.8897 percent chance of
catching one. But you don't want to put the limbaugh group in with a
homosexual group, because there's 4 crossgroup wars going on like that at
any given time.
> I think
>I got a good assortment in, though. alt.fan.the-bob is below even MY
>posts' standards...:-)
>
Groups that need to be destroyed as soon as possible:
alt.fan.the-bob
alt.neutopia (or whatever it's called)
alt.kibology
groups on the edge of needing destruction:
alt.discordia (it's like alt.slack buy lamer and less relevant.)
alt.slack (always teetering on the brink. But somehow they always bounce
back!)
--
Rev. Matthew A. Carey Rips \ on Vision Temple--Tarzana, CA
18653 Ventura Blvd., Suite #379 ]\[ "We are not an occult."
Tarzana, Calif. 91356 Rips \ off mnbvc
ac118@lafn.org ]\[
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: pkitty@netcom.com (Purple Kitty)
Randy and Julie Mullins (rconline@gate.net) wrote:
: >Always, prejudice is based on ignorance. You can hate a group if you
: >don't know any of the individuals that make up that group. It becomes
: >much harder once you get to know the individuals.
: That is the most ridiculous statement I've ever heard. If it's wrong, based
: on the bible, wrong, then it's wrong, whether you know the stupid people in
: "whatever" group, or not!
Julie, THAT is the most ridiculous statement I've heard (in the past few
hours, at least). The bible has nothing to do with whether something is
"wrong" or not! Unless you actually think that some BOOK is more
important than your BRAIN and your COMMON SENSE. If you do, then I pity
you...if I had to live a life in which I didn't think for myself, I'd
crucify myself.
Reverend Pee Kitty
--
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.religion.christian,soc.rights.human,alt.feminazis,alt.mens-rights,alt.politics.equality,alt.politics.homosexuality,alt.politics.nationalism.white,soc.men,soc.women,triangle.politics,alt.christnet.christianlife,alt.discrimination
From: pkitty@netcom.com (Purple Kitty)
Thomas Disque (disque@sauron.unx.sas.com) wrote:
: Always, prejudice is based on ignorance. You can hate a group if you
: don't know any of the individuals that make up that group. It becomes
: much harder once you get to know the individuals.
Not true. I hate the KKK *MUCH* more since I met a few klansmen. I hate
NeoNazis with a passion, and I've met plenty of them. And I hate normals
more than the rest, and I've met far too many of them for my tastes.
Reverend Pee Kitty
--
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: jeannek@darkwing.uoregon.edu (Jeanne Kowalewski)
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.religion.christian,soc.rights.human,alt.feminazis,alt.mens-rights,alt.politics.equality,alt.politics.homosexuality,alt.politics.nationalism.white,soc.men,soc.women,triangle.politics,alt.christnet.christianlife,alt.discrimination
What's a "normal"? If I was ever one of *them*, I've forgotten what it was
like. Labeling people is just so darned restrictive!
Jeanne K.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: matta@sun.lclark.edu (Matt Alexander)
In article <3pdkum$kvv@ionews.ionet.net> bmyers@ionet.net (Nightmare Hippy Boy) writes:
>
>Not true...I hate Normals, and I know plenty of them. In fact, it's
>knowing them that MAKES me hate them.
Well, the original statement still stands; Prejudice _is_ based on
ignorance, Normals just happen to ignorant enough to be worth prejuding.
-><- Matt Alexander "Cattle mutilations are up..."
<matta@lclark.edu>
"Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
And East is East and West is West and if you take cranberries and stew
them like applesauce they taste more like prunes than a rhubarb does.
Now, uh.. Now you tell me what you know." -Marx
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: ljduchez@en.com (Lou Duchez)
In article <jeannek-2005951834540001@lanrover3-line8.uoregon.edu>,
jeannek@darkwing.uoregon.edu (Jeanne Kowalewski) wrote:
> >
> > Not true. I hate the KKK *MUCH* more since I met a few klansmen. I hate
> > NeoNazis with a passion, and I've met plenty of them. And I hate normals
> > more than the rest, and I've met far too many of them for my tastes.
>
> What's a "normal"? If I was ever one of *them*, I've forgotten what it was
> like. Labeling people is just so darned restrictive!
Normals, you know, Pink, Humans, non-Subgenii, JHVH-1's failed livestock ...
Oh yes, dear brother, we're here to sing the praises of J.R. "Bob" Dobbs,
the world's greatest salesman, sex god, and High Epopt of the Church of
the SubGenius. "Bob" is the chosen emissary of the alien space god JHVH-1,
who created all life on earth.
But! There are TWO species of "intelligent" life on earth. There are the
mere Humans, descendants of some decadent primate; and then there are the
SubGenii, JHVH-1's prime breeding stock and descendants of the proud Yeti.
Oh, my dear friend, do I have to tell you that there are two kinds of
people out there? There are the Humans, who mindlessly follow the whims
of the Conspiracy (a Conspiracy so devious, that it doesn't even know it
exists!); and there are the SubGenii, who have the creativity and horse
sense to make this world a virtual paradise. But the Conspiracy oppresses
us all, makes us perform mindless drone-labor, tells us what to love and
whom to hate, and advises us to "be responsible".
Ahh yes, the Con is powerful ... BUT NOT AS POWERFUL AS "BOB"! "Bob"
will help you throw off the shackles of the Con, for "Bob" brings the
message of Slack: the ability to align one's self with causality, and
have it all! WEALTH! GREAT SEX! LUCK AT THE RACES! YES! CAN I GET
A "PRAISE 'BOB'"? For "Bob" is Slack made flesh in the form of a pipe-
smoking travelling salesman. Follow "Bob", make your wallet his own,
and Slack will be yours.
Yes, my dear friend in "Bob", the Men from Planet X are on their way.
On July 5, 1998, 7:00am, the Rupture will occur, and all SubGenius
ministers will be whisked away to the great Pleasure Saucers, while the
Humans (a.k.a. Pinks, Normals, Kens/Barbies) will be left to FRY ON
EARTH! HAH! SERVES 'EM RIGHT!
Yes, I hear your plaintive cry: "But how can I find 'Bob'? How can I
be ordained in the pee of 'Bob'?" Take heart; "Bob" makes it easy.
There are many routes to learn of "Bob":
- Some of these involve buying some crap. Don't worry; it's all funnier
than hell, and can be used to scare unwanted relatives away. All
funds to be sent to:
The SubGenius Foundation
P. O. Box 140306
Dallas, TX 75214
"Bob" will see your "love offerings"; it is by the Psychic Pstench that
you leave on your money, that "Bob" knows you. ("Bob" doesn't need
your money: he was a self-made millionaire by the age of six. Money
is just the medium that your Pstench rides upon.)
- Send $1 for the introductory pamphlet.
- Buy "The Book of the Subgenius". Available at finer bookstores;
ISBN 0-671-63810-6. I think it runs $16.50 from the SubGenius
Foundation. (When you've finished that, pick up "Revelation X".)
- Follow "alt.slack"! Can't hurt.
- Listen to the "Hour of Slack" radio show, aired on the best college
stations.
- Ordainment is $30. Remember, you can't get on the saucers unless
you're an ordained minister.
- The most significant method: Live the life of Abnormality! JHVH-1
gave you a personality; don't suppress it! How can Slack be yours
if you yourself are afraid to be yours? Don't follow anyone, even
"Bob"! ("Bob" admonishes us to kill him; take the little creep up
on his offer!) Open your eyes and recognize all the ways They are
trying to hold you down, and learn tactics to fight back!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Ed Green <ed_green@vnet.ibm.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.religion.christian,soc.rights.human,alt.feminazis,alt.mens-rights,alt.politics.equality,alt.politics.homosexuality,alt.politics.nationalism.white,soc.men,soc.women,triangle.politics,alt.christnet.christianlife,alt.discrimination
pkitty@netcom.com (Purple Kitty) wrote:
>I capitalized it so people wouldn't try any crap
>about "But you HAVE to follow what the dictionary says!" Just because
>Webster thinks the two are opposite doesn't mean shit.
>
>Anyone who tells you that "SubGenius
>means..." and asserts that THAT is exactly what it means, is full of
>Grade-D Bullshit.
And anybody that defines their own words for the purposes
of making their illogical and incoherent rantings sound
plausable is full of Grade-W Bullshit. The grammatically
improper capitalization, and the accompanying assertion
that it lends validity to the usurpation of the word's
definition, was a nice touch. Grade-T Bullshit, of course,
but a nice touch nevertheless.
--
Ed Green DoD#0111 (919) 543-1757 ed_green@vnet.ibm.com
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: pkitty@netcom.com (Purple Kitty)
ron house (house@helios.usq.EDU.AU) wrote:
: pkitty@netcom.com (Purple Kitty) writes:
: >Normal: Someone who DOES fall under some meaningful label, and accepts
: >that label as a definition of who they are.
: >This applies to labels from "male" to "Aryan Rastafarian UFO-worshipping
: >lesbian". If ya let the labels have power, you're a normal.
: Now let's see if I got this right: You hate people who fall under
: the meaningful label, `normal', pure and simple. Sounds like you're
: letting the labels have power, if you ask me...
<rolling eyes> Sure, just twist my words around so the SPIRIT of what I
said is corrupted by the LETTER. I hate normals because they are normal.
Period. One definition of normal involved labels, as given above. That
doesn't mean that that definition gets to retroactively influence my
reason for hating them.
Quit trying to debunk me in some witty manner. It doesn't work because
(A) I'm right, and therefore undebunkable, and (B) I'll sic "Bob" on you
if you keep it up.
Rev Pee Kitty
--
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: stimpynren@aol.com (StimpyNRen)
Ed Green excremeditated:
> "Abnormal" is a meaningful label.
> I accept "abnormal" as a definition of who I am.
> I am normal -- but only because I am abnormal.
> QED.
LOOK! It's a NORMAL! Shoot him, fellow mutants! Don't let him get away!
TAKE NO PRISONERS!
(the battle for alt.slack has now spread itself into other forums. The
carnage is everywhere. I love the smell of napalm in the morning)
GET BACK THE SLACK THEY STOLE AWAY! SAVE alt.slack FROM A FATE WORSE THAN
DEATH! STAMP OUT NORMALCY! WHEREVER IT MAY SPREAD! THE POWER OF BOB
COMPELS YOU TO MAKE ME A CHEESE SANDWICH!
POST MORE MEANINGFUL DRIVEL! BOB COMMANDS YOU? (actually he just asks you
very nicely and politely but DO IT
ANYWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Slackfully Yours, Dahktir Zachary Carleton
One and Only New and Improved Official Clone for "Bob"
The First United PatrioPsychoticAnarchoMaterialistic Juxtapositioned
Church of Latter-Day SubGenii and Prepatory Academy for South Dallas (and
other places) otherwise known as The Church With The Long Name for short.
Exploring the Forbidden Sciences since 1985!
Short Attention Span Research Laboratories (ShAtSpReLa)
Don't Ask Me Studios, located in a dimension not very far from your mind
Original file name: Sure am glad...
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