Jeesis FUCKing HODAD HOWDY how the FUCK did a bunch of SubG's suddenly
become the moral majority, and if you think I'm not talking to you
then you STAYED lurking and are probably glad.
YEAH I'M TALKING TO YOU. SHUT YOUR FUCKING SHITSPEW AND READ.
Suddenly it's every body else's business if someone else SHOULD be
doing something, whether it's RIGHT, whether it's ACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR
for a SubG.
LIKE IT'S SOME OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS.
If it's not bitching over whether or not someone SHOULD want to SNUFF
the fucking Clammies or whether or not someone SHOULD scatoloRANT to
get people to Dokstok or whether someone SHOULDSHOULDSHOULSHOULDSHOULD
BOBFUCKINGDAMN YOU ALL MAKE ME BLEED SPLEEN OUT MY ANUS whatthe FUCK
are you trying to make each other? NORMAL?
Are you going to celebrate YOUR abnormality and only others' if it
MATCHES yours? Then it AIN'T FUCKING ABNORMALITY!
You're measuring whether it PISSES *YOU* OFF rather than whether
they're acting in their OWN way to be what THEY want.
WHO THE FUCK GAVE YOU THE GAVEL? WHO DIED AND MADE YOU "BOB"?
I don't give a WET FART if you logged on yesterday or if you took
Lamaz classes with STANG'S MOMMA, if you got some idea what a
SubGenius SHOULD be doing, you're SUCKING WIND BEHIND THE FUCKING
BOBBIES and will never catch up to even THEM.
Winding your pecker in a knot just because MORE THAN ONE happen to
latch on to the same idea STILL doesn't give you ONE FUCKING FLEA'S
NUT worth of right TO STICK SHOULD ON ANYTHING IN YOUR BRAIN.
IT'S ONE FUCKING TINY STEP FROM SUBG TO PINK AND THAT STEP IS
"SHOULD".
That's what Roberston does, what Tilton does, what the loud mouth
supposedly Christians do, what the Clammies do, what THE ENTIRE
SUBCONSCIOUS MIND OF THE PINK CONSPIRACY DOES. You're WORSE than
fucking USELESS, you're COUNTER-PRODUCTIVE.
If it just splits your nut to see a SubG doing whateverthehell it is
they want to do, if you can't at least leave them alone to do it if
not get behind them and cheer them on even if you'd never dream of
doing it, if you can't manage to disconnect the word SHOULD from your
brain WHENEVER you think about what someone else is doing, then simply
ram a bucketful of your own horse shit down your throat, and while
you're choking on it, super glue your bottom lip to your forehead to
keep it from ever escaping again, and set yourself on fire and jump in
front of a train and suck down some Drano and play Kurt Cobain's last
song on the bass shotgun OR KILL ME BECAUSE I CAN'T FUCKING STAND TO
SEE THE LAST BASTION OF CELEBRATION OF INDIVIDUALITY TURN INTO A BUNCH
OF FUCKING PINK SUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHERS WITH THEIR OWN FUCKING IDEAS OF
CORRECT BEHAVIOR BEING ENFORCED ON ANY FUCKING BODY.
The astute reader may have by now recognized that there is in fact a
sense of judgemental setting of standards in this message. If that
fact has occurred to you, then you're more hopelessly pink than can be
accounted for, and have entirely failed to catch on to the fact that
you STILL don't have a fucking right to do it -- you're still trying
to justify a restrictive norm by comparing its mere existence to that
of a permissive norm because you can't understand the difference. If
so, then just go ahead and send me your ordainment card and I'LL
REFUND YOUR FUCKING MONEY MYSELF.
--
dynasor@infi.net The Doctor is on.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: iceknife@ashram.com (ICEKNIFE)
D@> YEAH I'M TALKING TO YOU. SHUT YOUR FUCKING SHITSPEW AND READ.
who, ME? what did I DO?
D@> Suddenly it's every body else's business if someone else SHOULD be
D@> doing something, whether it's RIGHT, whether it's ACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR
D@> for a SubG.
what exactly IS "acceptable behavior for a SubG?"
D@> LIKE IT'S SOME OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS.
but...but...but... that's EXACTLY what it is... just business
D@> are you trying to make each other? NORMAL?
If I was the one to make you bleed spleen out yer anus, you owe me $32.50!
D@> Are you going to celebrate YOUR abnormality and only others' if it
D@> MATCHES yours? Then it AIN'T FUCKING ABNORMALITY!
If I find anyone who's abnormality matches mine, I'll KILL them because
ONE OF ME IS ALREADY THREE TOO MANY!!!
D@> You're measuring whether it PISSES *YOU* OFF rather than whether
D@> they're acting in their OWN way to be what THEY want.
WHAT DO I FUCKING CARE WHAT "THEY" WANT? DID "THEY" SEND ME ANYTHING???
D@> WHO THE FUCK GAVE YOU THE GAVEL? WHO DIED AND MADE YOU "BOB"?
um, well, Bob did... I was supposed to hit someone with it, but can't
remember WHO...
D@> I don't give a WET FART if you logged on yesterday or if you took
D@> Lamaz classes with STANG'S MOMMA, if you got some idea what a
D@> SubGenius SHOULD be doing, you're SUCKING WIND BEHIND THE FUCKING
D@> BOBBIES and will never catch up to even THEM.
SOME idea? Naw, I'm CERTAIN people should send me stuff... shit, I'll
glorp up anything anyone leaves unglued!
D@> Winding your pecker in a knot just because MORE THAN ONE happen to
D@> latch on to the same idea STILL doesn't give you ONE FUCKING FLEA'S
D@> NUT worth of right TO STICK SHOULD ON ANYTHING IN YOUR BRAIN.
prove I HAVE a brain (in my head... the jars in the pantry don't count)
and we'll talk...
D@> IT'S ONE FUCKING TINY STEP FROM SUBG TO PINK AND THAT STEP IS
D@> "SHOULD".
so this charm thingy is USELESS??? NENSLO YOU BASTARD!!!
D@> That's what Roberston does, what Tilton does, what the loud mouth
D@> supposedly Christians do, what the Clammies do, what THE ENTIRE
D@> SUBCONSCIOUS MIND OF THE PINK CONSPIRACY DOES. You're WORSE than
D@> fucking USELESS, you're COUNTER-PRODUCTIVE.
UNLESS I'M RIGHT (hee hee, din't think of THAT one, DIDJA smarty!)
D@> song on the bass shotgun OR KILL ME BECAUSE I CAN'T FUCKING STAND TO
D@> SEE THE LAST BASTION OF CELEBRATION OF INDIVIDUALITY TURN INTO A BUNCH
D@> OF FUCKING PINK SUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHERS WITH THEIR OWN FUCKING IDEAS OF
D@> CORRECT BEHAVIOR BEING ENFORCED ON ANY FUCKING BODY.
sounds like a lot of hassle to go thru over what bugs YOU... $$$?
D@> The astute reader may have by now recognized that there is in fact a
D@> sense of judgemental setting of standards in this message. If that
D@> fact has occurred to you, then you're more hopelessly pink than can be
D@> accounted for, and have entirely failed to catch on to the fact that
D@> you STILL don't have a fucking right to do it -- you're still trying
D@> to justify a restrictive norm by comparing its mere existence to that
D@> of a permissive norm because you can't understand the difference. If
D@> so, then just go ahead and send me your ordainment card and I'LL
D@> REFUND YOUR FUCKING MONEY MYSELF.
well, now I KNOW you can't be talking to me, because I NEVER tell people
they SHOULD do this or that... I just make unreasonable demands with no
out-option, then I destroy wantonly and cum a lot...
so...
who da fuck you talking about?
and WHY? your point would be lost on anyone it applied to... even YOU
SHOULD
be able to figure that out! (gawd, I LOVE the sound of gnashing teeth)
OH, yeah... does that refund thing include forgeries?
I just heard the most festive line in a movie (Tequila Sunrise)...
"I don't know, some people don't like anything, they just have nice manners,
and live."
ICEKNIFE
... UNBLOCK THAT INTESTINE : SASE & $1 to P.O.BOX 140306 DALLAS TX 75214
___ Blue Wave/QWK v2.12
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: dynasor@infi.net (Dennis McClain-Furmanski)
ICEKNIFE (iceknife@ashram.com) wrote:
: who, ME? what did I DO?
: what exactly IS "acceptable behavior for a SubG?"
: WHAT DO I FUCKING CARE WHAT "THEY" WANT? DID "THEY" SEND ME ANYTHING???
: sounds like a lot of hassle to go thru over what bugs YOU... $$$?
: who da fuck you talking about?
[and especially]
: and WHY? your point would be lost on anyone it applied to... even YOU
: SHOULD
: be able to figure that out! (gawd, I LOVE the sound of gnashing teeth)
How about the sound of one porker peeing the pants of happiness? Ya like
that sound too? You ask an awful lot of questions. Is the point lost on you?
Hey, you brought it up.
: OH, yeah... does that refund thing include forgeries?
Sure. Will you take a $1 billion check signed by Ronald Rayguns in red
crayon?
Hey, I just shit it on the ground for everyone to step in. I didn't make you
try to wipe your shoe off in your hair.
You were right. You DON'T tell people how they should act as a SubG.
You had that figured from the git go.
But then you kept WONDERING.
I don't particularly care why, but you might.
Still, I DO so love your rants. They make me laugh more often than anything
else. Seriously twisted. A pleasure to watch. I think we should nominate you
for the user support section of the SubG web page.
"Excuse me, but when I try to access this file, I get an error that say..."
"WHAT, YOU FUCKING DIMSHITBULB SQUIDLICKING GEEK? THAT YOU'RE TOO
BRAINDEADPINK TO GET THE FUCKING JOKE? WELL ARE YOU?"
I can see it.
You make a damn fine secret weapon Iceknife. Just watch your foot.
--
dynasor@infi.net The Doctor is on.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: iceknife@ashram.com (ICEKNIFE)
D@> How about the sound of one porker peeing the pants of happiness? Ya
D@> like that sound too?
WELL PEACH MELBA CUSTARD SERVED IN A PETRIFIED WALABEE'S SKULL! OF COURSE!
D@> You ask an awful lot of questions. Is the point lost on you?
D@> Hey, you brought it up.
YUP, that's how I find shit out... otherwise I just kinda poke shit and go
"huh?"... I HATE THAT "WHY ASK WHY" BULLSHIT!!! AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH !
yes the point is lost on me
yes I did
D@> : OH, yeah... does that refund thing include forgeries?
D@> Sure. Will you take a $1 billion check signed by Ronald Rayguns in red
D@> crayon?
yup, why the fuck not! sounds fair!
D@> Hey, I just shit it on the ground for everyone to step in. I didn't
D@> make you try to wipe your shoe off in your hair.
actually, I was aiming for YOUR neenernoggin, but hey, I ALMOST pissed ya
off, you offline reader FUCK! <sigh> HMMMM, NEXT TIME PERHAPS....
SUCKER! HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE
D@> You were right. You DON'T tell people how they should act as a SubG.
C'mon, you saying I'm not pushy enough? shit, sorry, I'll work on that,
god, I'm so ashamed, how could I be so... so... so... nevermind. i'm sorry
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA <FART> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
D@> You had that figured from the git go.
D@> But then you kept WONDERING.
LEARN THE EARLY SIGNS OF BOREDOM, DOC... shit, I obviously had enuff spare
time to READ your PSYCHOWHINE.... eat more jalapenos, ancient dude!
D@> Still, I DO so love your rants. They make me laugh more often than
D@> anything else. Seriously twisted. A pleasure to watch. I think we
D@> should nominate you for the user support section of the SubG web page.
BITE ME, PENCILNECK! I, THE SHINING BLADE OF FROZEN POLYMORPHIC NONFOOD
EDIBLES, HE WHO AM AND/OR IS ICEKNIFE, AM A FULL WEB DOKTOR FOR BOB...
YOU GEEKLING KRUMBLEPUTZ! But hey, thanks! Ranting is my life! ok, well,
it's like a hobby, but it IS fun...
D@> "Excuse me, but when I try to access this file, I get an error that
D@> say..."
D@> "WHAT, YOU FUCKING DIMSHITBULB SQUIDLICKING GEEK? THAT YOU'RE TOO
D@> BRAINDEADPINK TO GET THE FUCKING JOKE? WELL ARE YOU?"
ah, grasshopper, i see i must teach you how to IGNORE the joke...
D@> You make a damn fine secret weapon Iceknife. Just watch your foot.
footprints are an essential part of my art... do YOU get it?
ICEKNIFE
... LEARN TO DANCE AT HOME : SASE & $1 to P.O.BOX 140306 DALLAS TX 75214
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: dynasor@infi.net (Dennis McClain-Furmanski)
On Mon. Apr 17, 1995, iceknife@ashram.com told All:
D@> Sure. Will you take a $1 billion check signed by Ronald Rayguns in
red
D@> crayon?
ic> yup, why the fuck not! sounds fair!
Shit. I can't find my red crayon. Sorry. And I only use the blue one for
romantic correspondence.
ic> actually, I was aiming for YOUR neenernoggin, but hey, I ALMOST
pissed
> ya off, you offline reader FUCK! <sigh> HMMMM, NEXT TIME PERHAPS....
As I said in the last post, there was no way for you to know that TODAY I
started using one. Nifty shit, huh?
ic> C'mon, you saying I'm not pushy enough? shit, sorry, I'll work on
> that, god, I'm so ashamed, how could I be so... so... so...
nevermind.
> i'm sorry
Oh, no, you're pushy enough. You just don't try to tell people how a SubG
should act, and that was the purpose ofthe post.
D@> You had that figured from the git go.
D@> But then you kept WONDERING.
ic> LEARN THE EARLY SIGNS OF BOREDOM, DOC... shit, I obviously had enuff
> spare time to READ your PSYCHOWHINE.... eat more jalapenos, ancient
> dude!
Early? Shit, you'd better learn to keep yourself entertained, or you'll melt
down.
Absolutely. They not only raise natural endorphin levels, they increase
absorbtion of several other substances. And they make me high. The pizza
waitresses can't figure out why I giggle like that when I'm not drinking
any beer with my ham and j-peno pizza.
D@> Still, I DO so love your rants. They make me laugh more often than
D@> anything else. Seriously twisted. A pleasure to watch. I think we
D@> should nominate you for the user support section of the SubG web
page.
ic> BITE ME, PENCILNECK! I, THE SHINING BLADE OF FROZEN POLYMORPHIC
> NONFOOD EDIBLES, HE WHO AM AND/OR IS ICEKNIFE, AM A FULL WEB DOKTOR
> FOR BOB... YOU GEEKLING KRUMBLEPUTZ! But hey, thanks! Ranting is my
> life! ok, well, it's like a hobby, but it IS fun...
We'll have to get some of it on tape, to give Stang something to do while
he sits at home and hurts.
D@> You make a damn fine secret weapon Iceknife. Just watch your foot.
ic> footprints are an essential part of my art... do YOU get it?
Sure. It'd be an excuse if I believed in linear time. But I don't.
* 2qwk! 1.26b3 * Very few problems can't be solved by high explosives.
--
dynasor@infi.net The Doctor is on.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: cuthulu@unicomp.net (cuthulu)
>Dennis McClain-Furmanski <dynasor@infi.net> wrote:
>>BOBFUCKINGDAMN YOU ALL MAKE ME BLEED SPLEEN OUT MY ANUS whatthe FUCK
>>are you trying to make each other? NORMAL?
One day while trying to read alt.slack, I accidentally wandered into
alt.spleen.
They got a lot of great stuff there about how to take care of your spleen and
grow it to enormous proportions.
Bleeding spleen out the anus is a definate downer to that sensitive organ,
unless you've allready gone OVERMAN.
Anyone seen an alt.pineal.gland?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: jmdillon@kimbark.uchicago.edu (Joshua M. Dillon)
I once stumbled into "alt.colon". There were thousands of
messages about how to properly use the colon... advice on where to put
it, what it really means, the pleasure of the colon... I was quite
appalled until I realized that it was colon as in ":". Since then I have
become an advocate of: the use of the colon as frequently as possible,
and preaching a proper understanding of the colon to the colonless people
of the world!
Did you know that: the Chinese have no colon, the Ancient Greeks
used a raised dot (that's right, a single dot) for a colon, the semicolon
is on its way to endangering the sanctity of the mighty colon? Join me
now in worshiping the uses and pleasures of the colon... Form local
groups in your community to advocate an increase in colon function.
Write to the federal government to demand that the President mention the
colon at least once in every speech!
Remember, if you know how to use the colon effectively, your
composition will never be mundane or stagnant again!
JMD
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Christian A Wedge <cw4g+@andrew.cmu.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.spleen,alt.slack
Subject: Re: LISSENTHEFUCKUP
Excerpts from Joshua M. Dillon@kimbark
> >One day while trying to read alt.slack, I accidentally wandered into
> >alt.spleen.
> >
> >They got a lot of great stuff there about how to take care of your
spleen and
> >grow it to enormous proportions.
Actually, the size of the spleen isn't really important in most cases.
That was established in a previous thread.
> >Bleeding spleen out the anus is a definate downer to that sensitive organ,
> >unless you've allready gone OVERMAN.
> >
> >Anyone seen an alt.pineal.gland?
*GASP*
It's one of those pineal gland people!
Forget the pineal gland and follow the spleen!!!
> I once stumbled into "alt.colon". There were thousands of
> messages about how to properly use the colon... advice on where to put
> it, what it really means, the pleasure of the colon... I was quite
> appalled until I realized that it was colon as in ":". Since then I have
> become an advocate of: the use of the colon as frequently as possible,
> and preaching a proper understanding of the colon to the colonless people
> of the world!
Hey, my spleen doesn't like colons that much, but if that's what your
spleen likes, more power to ya. You gotta follow your spleen, man.
-Christian Wedge (cw4g+@andrew.cmu.edu)
http://www.contrib.andrew.cmu.edu/~cw4g/
"I say what it occurs to me to say when I think I hear people say things.
More I cannot say." -The Ruler of the Galaxy
Original file name: LissentheFuckUp
This file was converted with TextToHTML - (c) Logic n.v.