I am NOT gonna look at alt.slack. I HAVE to do the High Weirdness reviews.
To SELL. For MONEY. I MUST not look at alt.slack. I just don't have time
to do everything. I must accept with patience, Slackfulness and Time
Control (ha) that I will NEVER be able to "keep up with alt.slack." I
will not even TRY. I will not LOOK at it today. Monday it was at 350
posts. I got it down to 299. The next day it was at 450 posts. I got it
down to 399. The next time I turned it on there were 550 posts. I got it
down to 499. TWO HOURS LATER it's back to 550. I am not going to even TRY
to FUCK with it. Not today. I will look at the new kook mags and great
weirdo-art mags and UFO videos. I will not fret about formatting more old
shit to dump in alt.slack for all to see. I won't think about it. We'll
just have it all on the Web page, ALL AT ONCE, yeah. I will BLOW OFF
alt.slack. It's never THAT good. But yet I DARE NOT MISS THAT ONE JEWEL
THAT SURFACES >EVERY TIME.< And by gobbs one ALWAYS DOES. I'll sit
yawning, going through ten arguments about cartoon characters, and just
about to decide it's just a BAD WEEK on alt.slack when suddenly I come
upon an unassumingly-titled thing or thread that makes me slap my head and
say "MAH GOB! If I'd a waited one more day this would have been DUMPED
from the SERVER! And none of the OFFLINE EARTHBOUND ONES would have had a
chance to READ it in a STARK FIST!" So I "APPEND" or save it to whichever
is the appropriate category, congratulate myself, and then proceed to wade
through a whole bunch more so-so meanderings, about to give up, then
WHAM... another hot one, sometimes a whole string of 'em. And meanwhile
there's all this crap that I MYSELF need to write up for MONEY TO BUY FOOD
WITH!!! And stuff I must PASTE UP to stay out of MAIL FRAUD JAIL with! So
I'm FUCKED!!! I MUST, yet, I CANNOT! I MUST YET I CANNOT!! I know how
Ro-Man felt.
But I am NOT gonna look at alt.slack. I don't even care. Nope. Big deal.
So I might miss something, the world won't end. I'll never even be the
wiser. Nobody'll know the difference.
I ain't gonna mess with it. No. I won't look at it. I will NOT LOOK AT IT.
Rev. Ivan (Mr. NOT HOOKED) Stang
--
Copyright 1995 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian
MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the
Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc.
PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 / Fax 214-320-1561 / PRABOB
Original file name: I WILL NOT DO IT.
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