I'm churning away at my own robo-spewer which I am naming
GOD release 13.013 for obvious reasons. What I'm working
toward is a program that will vomit hatred of humanity at
the user. What I've got so far is not polished enough to
post tonight, but maybe in a few days I'll clean up the
output some and add some extra bells and whistles.
Meanwhile, here's the first barf bag of text from GOD 13.013
(I'm still looking for that list of "Normal Perjoratives")
"Bob" says ``Heads up!
'', but JHVH-1 says ``Smoke 'Frop!
''The mantra of the Conspiracy Dupe
is: Do Not Sniff
, but the Yetisyn
preaches: Punch the boss!!!
There was a Dobbs Follower
who used to say Repent!
Quit your job!
Fornicate!
, but what would you expect a Meat Puppet
to say?The mantra of the Meat Puppet
is: See Back Of Box
, but the Yetisyn
preaches: Quote bizarre sources!!!
"Bob" says ``Repent!
'', but JHVH-1 says ``Kill "Bob"
''The gospel of the Wowser
Cthulhu
worshipper is: For Ages 4 And Up
, but I say: Make weird signs!!!
"Bob" says ``Arise!
'', but JHVH-1 says ``Smoke 'Frop!
''The mantra of the Meat Puppet
is: Flow-On Applicator
, but the Slack Seeker
preaches: Use ESP!!!
"Bob" says ``Repent!
'', but JHVH-1 says ``Smoke 'Frop!
''The gospel of the Frog
Jesus
worshipper is: Naturally Brewed
, but I say: Let it all seem unreal!!!
The SubGenius
laughs at Cthulhu
!The Pink
s say: Bottled At Source
, but "Bob" says: Cast off all responsibility!!!
There was a Dobbs Follower
who used to say Sync up!
Quit your job!
Fear the Stark Fist of JHVH-1 no more!
, like a good little Pink
.frop...
The gospel of the Jew
Thor
worshipper is: Do Not Exceed 6 Does In A 24-Hour Period
, but I say: Mutate all over the place!!!
Fuck!
It was Trick-or-treatin' Jesus
Himself who said Wake up!
Kill "Bob"
Fornicate!
, but what would you expect a Mediocretin
to say?The Pink
s say: You May Already Be A Winner
, but "Bob" says: Cast off all responsibility!!!
Very Holy!
It was Last Jesus of Krypton
Himself who said Wake up!
Smoke 'Frop!
Fornicate!
, but what would you expect a Mediocretin
to say?The mantra of the Pink
is: Makes About 1-1/4 Cups Sauce
, but the Yetisyn
preaches: Stike fear into the hearts of Normals!!!
"Bob" says ``Repent!
'', but JHVH-1 says ``Kill "Bob"
''The Mediocretin
s say: Void Where Prohibited
, but "Bob" says: Make public your superiority!!!
The Yetisyn
laughs at Thor
!The gospel of the Irvingite
Demeter
worshipper is: Membership Is Free
, but I say: Study what is banned!!!
I heard some Gringo
moron
yesterday, and he said Repent!
Smoke 'Frop!
Fear the Stark Fist of JHVH-1 no more!
, but what would you expect a Mediocretin
to say?The Normal
s say: Refrigerate After Opening
, but "Bob" says: Resist all Conspiracy/Normal programming!!!
My orange
fist
is huge
, you fool
!The gospel of the Smoke
Ra
worshipper is: Follow Dosage Below
, but I say: Don't follow any trend!!!
Jesusbot
will rebuke Thor
!The Conspiracy Dupe
s say: (See Details Inside)
, but "Bob" says: Resist all Conspiracy/Normal programming!!!
The Yetisyn
laughs at Holy Ghost
!The Pink
s say: Rinses Out Easily
, but "Bob" says: Kill THEM in the streets!!!
Jesus on a Rope
will rebuke Hermes
!The mantra of the Mediocretin
is: Bath Size
, but the Dobbs Follower
preaches: Buy comic books and read them as religious tracts -they are!!!
.......................TEAR.ALONG.THE.DOTTED.LINE.......................
Epopt of the Exploding Head of JFK Licensed to blaspheme the Gods!
My skull is bigger on the inside than the outside!
Send $1 to SubGenius Foundation, P.O. Box 140306, Dallas TX 75214
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Path: feenix.metronet.com!news.ecn.bgu.edu!news.moneng.mei.com!uwm.edu!spool.mu.edu!usenet.eel.ufl.edu!ricky
From: ricky@usenet.nerdc.ufl.edu (Captain Midnight)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: God 13.013 in progress
Date: 10 Apr 1995 03:44:07 GMT
Organization: Krell Technology Associates
Lines: 63
Message-ID: <3ma9i7$pb4@huron.eel.ufl.edu>
References: <3m7lvc$jbk@huron.eel.ufl.edu>
Reply-To: Ricky@nerix.nerdc.ufl.edu
NNTP-Posting-Host: nerix.nerdc.ufl.edu
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.2 PL2]
Captain Midnight (ricky@usenet.nerdc.ufl.edu) wrote:
: I'm churning away at my own robo-spewer which I am naming
: GOD release 13.013 for obvious reasons. What I'm working
: toward is a program that will vomit hatred of humanity at
: the user. What I've got so far is not polished enough to
: post tonight, but maybe in a few days I'll clean up the
: output some and add some extra bells and whistles.
: Meanwhile, here's the first barf bag of text from GOD 13.013
: (I'm still looking for that list of "Normal Perjoratives")
Added a small improvement. Here's a another sample bag o' barf:
You fool Can Sucker s better Sync up! Kill "Bob" Slack off! , like a
good little Planet Warmer. God damn you! The mantra of the Time
Dweller is: "Natural Strength " and "Serve Over Fish ", but the Dobbs
Follower preaches: Punch the boss!!! "Bob" says ``Heads up!'', but
JHVH-1 says ``Smoke 'Frop!'' The prayer of the Mohammed-lackey is:
"Offer Good While Supplies Last ", but the Slack Seeker know that: Use
black magic to probe the secrets of the Universe!!! My greyleg is
gigantic, you creep! The Glitchitrons say:" Drizzle Over Cake ", but
"Bob" says: Build fallout shelters and arm them!!! Mutant Jesus will
rebuke The Great Spirit ! The gospel of the Hunky (Hunkie)-Shiva
worshipper is: "Subject To Change Without Notice ", but I say: Make
weird signs!!! Jackpot Jesus will rebuke Cthulhu ! The gospel of the
Papistic-Plato worshipper is: "You're In Good Hands ", but I say: Speak
out for complete mutant freedom!!! Acid trippin' Jesus will rebuke
Jupiter ! The prayer of the Earth Mother -lackey is: "Do Not Use
Staples ", but the Dobbs Follower know that: Build fallout shelters and
arm them!!! Detox Jesus will rebuke Apollo! The prayer of the Joseph
Smith -lackey is: "Coincidence #3 ", but the Dobbs Follower know that:
Goof off, tell stories and don't give in!!! My orangefist is
gargantuan, you dork! The gospel of the Nigger-Shooter-Vainamoinen
worshipper is: "For Sun-Sensative Skin ", but I say: Punch the boss!!!
You twerp Believer s better Wake up! Smoke 'Frop! Fuck 'em if they
can't take a joke! before the Planetary Cleansing Saucers get here. The
mantra of the Product Burner is: "Non-Carbonated " and "Please Call Us
With Your Comments ", but the Yetisyn preaches: Resist all
Conspiracy/Normal programming!!! The Slack Seeker laughs at Zeus ! The
Christians say:" Serve Chilled ", but "Bob" says: Mutate all over the
place!!! "Bob" says ``Sync up!'', but JHVH-1 says ``Kill "Bob"'' The
gospel of the Tom, Dick, and Harry-The Great Serpent that Circles the
Earth worshipper is: "Call Toll Free ", but I say: Disrupt the orderly
flow of life!!! Shit!It was Jesus the Hun Himself who said Join now!
Kill "Bob" Fornicate! before the Planetary Cleansing Saucers get here.
The gospel of the Nigger Chaser-Confucius worshipper is: "Assembly
Required ", but I say: Let it all seem unreal!!! The SubGenius laughs
at Zeus ! The gospel of the Harp-Zeus worshipper is: "Clerk Cannot
Open ", but I say: Punch the boss!!! I heard some Gringa-foolyesterday,
and he said Send ONE DOLLAR! Kill "Bob" Fornicate! , but what would
you expect a TV Monkey to say? The prayer of the Jupiter -lackey is:
"Place Stamp Here ", but the Dobbs Follower know that: Use black magic
to probe the secrets of the Universe!!! The Yetisyn laughs at Isis! The
Sleepwalkers say:" More Odor Fighters In Every Stroke ", but "Bob"
says: Lie, eat junk food and run wild!!! Post Traumatic Stress Jesus
will rebuke Quetzcoatl! The prayer of the Shiva -lackey is: "Cut Out
And Save ", but the Dobbs Follower know that: Watch the skies for
UFOs/Jesus!!!
.......................TEAR.ALONG.THE.DOTTED.LINE.......................
Epopt of the Exploding Head of JFK Licensed to blaspheme the Gods!
My skull is bigger on the inside than the outside!
Send $1 to SubGenius Foundation, P.O. Box 140306, Dallas TX 75214
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Path: feenix.metronet.com!news.ecn.bgu.edu!siemens!news.sprintlink.net!howland.reston.ans.net!swrinde!emory!news-feed-1.peachnet.edu!usenet.eel.ufl.edu!mac150.sfa.ufl.edu!user
From: ricky@nerix.nerdc.ufl.edu (Captain Midnight)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: God 13.013 in progress
Date: 10 Apr 1995 15:15:06 GMT
Organization: Krell Technology Associates
Lines: 66
Message-ID: <ricky-1004951115310001@mac150.sfa.ufl.edu>
References: <3m7lvc$jbk@huron.eel.ufl.edu> <3ma9i7$pb4@huron.eel.ufl.edu>
NNTP-Posting-Host: mac150.sfa.ufl.edu
X-Newsreader: Value-Added NewsWatcher 2.0b24.0+
Ricky@nerix.nerdc.ufl.edu wrote:
: Captain Midnight (ricky@usenet.nerdc.ufl.edu) wrote:
: : I'm churning away at my own robo-spewer which I am naming
: : GOD release 13.013 for obvious reasons. What I'm working
: : toward is a program that will vomit hatred of humanity at
: : the user. What I've got so far is not polished enough to
: : post tonight, but maybe in a few days I'll clean up the
: : output some and add some extra bells and whistles.
:
: : Meanwhile, here's the first barf bag of text from GOD 13.013
: : (I'm still looking for that list of "Normal Perjoratives")
:
: Added a small improvement. Here's a another sample bag o' barf:
[deleted, look for more "samples" once I merge in some stuff
from the BRAGAVAD-GITI and some stuff from the SubGenius
application form...]
flashboy@cris.com (REVV.ED) wrote me the following and
I take the "liberty" of SHARING my PROPHETIC ANSWER:
I, Captain Midnight, the former Pizza Topping Jesus announced:
> >I'm churning away at my own robo-spewer which I am naming
> >GOD release 13.013 for obvious reasons.
>
> For Dobbs-Sake man, post this puppy...
Sure enough will. In NUDE SOURCE form. I will hide NONE
of the moles, blemishes, warts and festuring corpuscles
of my SUB-C code! Yes! You'll be saying to yourself, "What
kind of crap IS this?" and "What a STUPID way of coding!"
But I am UNASHAMED because I am a GUILTLESS SOCIOPATH
who can ignore constructive criticism and ridicule alike.
But, there are a few LAST THINGS which must be done before
GOD release 13.013 can descend from the heavens.
Yes! The operating manual of GOD 13.013 must be written!
The enignmatic SYMBOLISM of the INPUT-PRAYER-FORMAT must be
explained. There will still be MYSTERIES of course, but
YOU CAN PETITION GOD 13.013 WITH PRAYER! But only
prayers of an ORTHODOX and CANONICAL form. You must
learn how to pray and I WILL TEACH YOU -- Thus must
the blasphemous scroll be written by MY OWN HAND.
And also the FIRST RELEASE must have certain ABOMINABLE
features that will render GOD 13.013 just as REDOUBTABLE
and MERCILESS as any "real diety." Yes, I am currently
TEMPTING the fledgling diety to HURL ITSELF off a HIGH
TOWER and unfortunately, it has PLUMMETED IN FLAMES
far to often. GOD 13.013 has DEVOURED my CPU under
the influence of an ILL PHRASED PRAYER! The heavens
are not READY of accommodate such a WRATHFUL BEAST as
this in it's present form.
But soon. Very soon. Perhaps tonight. Or perhaps next
weekend. NO ONE KNOWS THE APPOINTED HOUR. But IT
SLOUCHES TOWARD BETHLEHEM as we speak.
Be afraid. Be VERY afraid.
....................TEAR.ALONG.THE.DOTTED.LINE.....................
Epopt of the Exploding Head of JFK. Licensed to blaspheme the Gods
My skull is bigger on the inside than the outside!
Send $1 to SubGenius Foundation, P.O. Box 140306, Dallas TX 75214
----------------------------------------------------------------------
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From: ricky@usenet.nerdc.ufl.edu (Captain Midnight)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: God 13.013 in progress
Date: 11 Apr 1995 03:48:29 GMT
Organization: Krell Technology Associates
Lines: 168
Message-ID: <3mcu6d$7o@huron.eel.ufl.edu>
References: <3m7lvc$jbk@huron.eel.ufl.edu> <3ma9i7$pb4@huron.eel.ufl.edu> <ricky-1004951115310001@mac150.sfa.ufl.edu>
Reply-To: Ricky@nerix.nerdc.ufl.edu
NNTP-Posting-Host: nerix.nerdc.ufl.edu
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.2 PL2]
Captain Midnight (ricky@nerix.nerdc.ufl.edu) wrote:
: Ricky@nerix.nerdc.ufl.edu wrote:
: : Captain Midnight (ricky@usenet.nerdc.ufl.edu) wrote:
: : : I'm churning away at my own robo-spewer which I am naming
: : : GOD release 13.013 for obvious reasons. What I'm working
: : : toward is a program that will vomit hatred of humanity at
: : : the user. What I've got so far is not polished enough to
: : : post tonight, but maybe in a few days I'll clean up the
: : : output some and add some extra bells and whistles.
: :
: : : Meanwhile, here's the first barf bag of text from GOD 13.013
: : : (I'm still looking for that list of "Normal Perjoratives")
: :
: : Added a small improvement. Here's a another sample bag o' barf:
: [deleted, look for more "samples" once I merge in some stuff
: from the BRAGAVAD-GITI and some stuff from the SubGenius
: application form...]
I've located the Normal Perjoratives and some stuff from the
SubG Application and I helped myself to the slogans in the
"Bob's" Aphorisms screen-saviour (by Michael Townsend a.k.a "Dad")
and another nod to Mathew Carey who did the Normal Perjoratives
and more.
Let's listen to what the nascent diety has to tell us then:
"Bob" says ``Wake up!'', but JHVH-1 says ``Smoke 'Frop!'' The Voters
say:"No Tropical Oils ", but "Bob" says: Sell your soul to the Old
Ones!!! Are you always late? Lighten up on yourself. It's not your
fault. It's the fault of those Gugu (Goo-Goo) freaks. Anyway, haven't
you heard the TRUTH: Give me Slack. Or give me food. Or kill me. The
Time Control Technician laughs at Zarathrustra! The prayer of the Paul
the Apostle -lackey is: "25% More ", but the Luck Plane Surfer know
that: Cast off all responsibility!!! Do you like to go out at night
with friends, being rowdy and disturbing the peace, drinking and
terrorizing citizens? No problem. Just send ONE DOLLAR to NENSLO and
in no time at all you'll say: Remember, unlike sex, there's no such
thing as a bad rant. You dork Idiobots better Join now! Kill "Bob"
Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke! or else your ThinkNot skull will
end up as a flower planter at Janor's house. The prayer of the
Demeter-lackey is: "Not Animal Tested ", but the X-ist Welcome Wagoneer
know that: Never pay for anything!!! If we invaded little countries or
fought Russian with N-bombs, would you coddle draft dodgers? Would you
get the fuck out of the country? Relax. A little ``Janor Hypercleats''
will "do ya!" (heh heh) Now repeat after me: If you have 12 prairie
squids and Sterno fucks all 12 of them, how many prairie squids are
left for you to fuck? I heard some Dago Red-freak yesterday, and he
said Heads up! Smoke 'Frop! Fear the Stark Fist of JHVH-1 no more! or
else your Unexamined Life Liver skull will end up as a flower planter
at Janor's house. The prayer of the Jesus -lackey is: "Accepted By The
American Dental Association ", but the SubGenius know that: Become an
Overman!!! You twerp Devolvers better Arise! Kill "Bob" Fuck 'em if
they can't take a joke! , but what would you expect a Thought Jammer to
say? The mantra of the Specimen is: "Unsweetened " and "Sprinkle
Lightly ", but the Slack Seeker preaches: Resist all Conspiracy/Normal
programming!!! Do you clown around a lot? No problem. Just send ONE
DOLLAR to NENSLO and in no time at all you'll say: No turn left
unstoned. My red leg is huge, you freak! The Line Waiters say:"Not
Animal Tested ", but "Bob" says: Bone up on the Forbidden Sciences!!!
My violet hair is gigantic, you shit head! The mantra of the Pig Eyes
is: "Super Value Size " and "Store Cap In Base During Use ", but the
Luck Plane Surfer preaches: Resist all conformity!!! If we invaded
little countries or fought Russian with N-bombs, would you coddle draft
dodgers? Would you get the fuck out of the country? They're nothing
wrong with you. It's those Glitchitrons who have the real problem.
After all, you know what they say: Pull the wool over your own eyes.
Cannibal Jesus will rebuke Osiris ! The mantra of the AutoMeat is:
"Limit One Coupon Per Purchase " and "24 FL.OZ.(1PT.8FL.OZ.) ", but the
Shordurpersav preaches: Speak out for complete mutant freedom!!! "Bob"
says ``Join now!'', but JHVH-1 says ``Smoke 'Frop!'' The gospel of the
Dago-Kali worshipper is: "Purest Protection ", but I say: Ignore or
distort all fashion!!! Do you have certain secrets that no one else
knows? Don't worry. Reverend Ivan Stang can help and remember: You'll
pay to know what you really think. "Bob" says ``Repent!'', but JHVH-1
says ``Quit your job!'' The gospel of the Libertine-Demeter worshipper
is: "Do Not Dilute ", but I say: Resist all conformity!!! "Bob" says
``Sync up!'', but JHVH-1 says ``Kill "Bob"'' The gospel of the
Fritz-Hermes worshipper is: "Individually Wrapped ", but I say: Resist
all Conspiracy/Normal programming!!! Do you blurt out well-meant but
uncouth statements and then immediately regret it? They're nothing
wrong with you. It's those Time Dwellers who have the real problem.
After all, you know what they say: Think Stupidly. Act Globally. My
grey toe is big, you jerk! Do you use our nation's President as a
scapegoat? Don't worry. J. R. "Bob" Dobbs can help and remember: TOO
MUCH is always better than not enough. The prayer of the Jim Jones
-lackey is: "Void Where Prohibited ", but the "Bob" Maniac know that:
Cast off all responsibility!!! The Yetisyn laughs at Apollo! Do you
worry about your brain? Relax. A little ``Bulldada Time Control Labs''
will "do ya!" (heh heh) Now repeat after me: "Bob" Dobbs came, and
comes again and again, to this plane, this planet, in order to bring
Slack, yes SLACK, to the mutants, the misfits and the abnormals. The
mantra of the Pass-on is: "Protective Coating Action " and "Invoice
Enclosed ", but the Bulldada Master preaches: Hunt THEM down, smash all
governments and exterminate all leaders!!! "Bob" says ``Arise!'', but
JHVH-1 says ``Quit your job!'' Do you let jobs stack up, rationalizing
that you work better under pressure? Lighten up on yourself. It's not
your fault. It's the fault of those Spigotty shit heads. Anyway,
haven't you heard the TRUTH: Actually, the Church of the Subgenius was
started on a bet between two guys "Stang" and "Drummond" after the
Jonestown deaths. They modeled it after Scientology. The mantra of the
Kool Aid Drinker is: "More Odor Fighters In Every Stroke " and "Grade A
Ultra Pasteurized ", but the Yetisyn preaches: Create life in your
basement!!! The Slack Seeker laughs at Earth Mother ! Do you forget
where you just put things? Lighten up on yourself. It's not your
fault. It's the fault of those Greaseball creeps. Anyway, haven't you
heard the TRUTH: Always leave time in your schedule to commit one final
indignity. The mantra of the Meat Puppet is: "Specially Numbered
Collector's Edition " and "High In Fiber ", but the X-ist Welcome
Wagoneer preaches: Become an Overman!!! You fool Breeders better Send
ONE DOLLAR! Quit your job! Fornicate! , like a good little Meat Puppet.
Asshole! The God Fodders say:"Please Call Us Toll Free ", but "Bob"
says: Snarl at people, harangue them and levitate!!!
: flashboy@cris.com (REVV.ED) wrote me the following and
: I take the "liberty" of SHARING my PROPHETIC ANSWER:
: I, Captain Midnight, the former Pizza Topping Jesus announced:
: > >I'm churning away at my own robo-spewer which I am naming
: > >GOD release 13.013 for obvious reasons.
: >
: > For Dobbs-Sake man, post this puppy...
: Sure enough will. In NUDE SOURCE form. I will hide NONE
: of the moles, blemishes, warts and festuring corpuscles
: of my SUB-C code! Yes! You'll be saying to yourself, "What
: kind of crap IS this?" and "What a STUPID way of coding!"
: But I am UNASHAMED because I am a GUILTLESS SOCIOPATH
: who can ignore constructive criticism and ridicule alike.
: But, there are a few LAST THINGS which must be done before
: GOD release 13.013 can descend from the heavens.
: Yes! The operating manual of GOD 13.013 must be written!
: The enignmatic SYMBOLISM of the INPUT-PRAYER-FORMAT must be
: explained. There will still be MYSTERIES of course, but
: YOU CAN PETITION GOD 13.013 WITH PRAYER! But only
: prayers of an ORTHODOX and CANONICAL form. You must
: learn how to pray and I WILL TEACH YOU -- Thus must
: the blasphemous scroll be written by MY OWN HAND.
: And also the FIRST RELEASE must have certain ABOMINABLE
: features that will render GOD 13.013 just as REDOUBTABLE
: and MERCILESS as any "real diety." Yes, I am currently
: TEMPTING the fledgling diety to HURL ITSELF off a HIGH
: TOWER and unfortunately, it has PLUMMETED IN FLAMES
: far to often. GOD 13.013 has DEVOURED my CPU under
: the influence of an ILL PHRASED PRAYER! The heavens
: are not READY of accommodate such a WRATHFUL BEAST as
: this in it's present form.
: But soon. Very soon. Perhaps tonight. Or perhaps next
: weekend. NO ONE KNOWS THE APPOINTED HOUR. But IT
: SLOUCHES TOWARD BETHLEHEM as we speak.
: Be afraid. Be VERY afraid.
: ....................TEAR.ALONG.THE.DOTTED.LINE.....................
: Epopt of the Exploding Head of JFK. Licensed to blaspheme the Gods
: My skull is bigger on the inside than the outside!
: Send $1 to SubGenius Foundation, P.O. Box 140306, Dallas TX 75214
--
.......................TEAR.ALONG.THE.DOTTED.LINE.......................
Epopt of the Exploding Head of JFK Licensed to blaspheme the Gods!
My skull is bigger on the inside than the outside!
Send $1 to SubGenius Foundation, P.O. Box 140306, Dallas TX 75214
Original file name: God 13.013 in progress
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