The SubGenius FAQ

From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@home.com>

Q: What is a merehume?

A: A "merehume" is synonymous with "PinkBoy," "Normal", "Con Dupe", etc. It
means Those Who are Not Yeti.

Q: What is a pesudo-subsland?

A: No idea, but it sounds like a synonym for "Bobbie" which is what a
SubGenius calls anyone who claims to know "Bob" and his Message of Slack,
but with whom the said SubGenius disagrees or is annoyed.

Q: What is a slacker?

A: A derogatory term used by merehumes to describe SubGenii. Alternatively
used affectionately by SubGenii to describe one another, though not often,
due to its derogatory use by merehumes.

Q: How can I "fit in" here?

A: You can't. No matter how funny, brilliant, inoffensive, or cool you are,
SOMEONE will tell you you don't fit in. That's because we're a bunch of
angry, bitter misanthropes, except for the ones that swing the other way,
that is. Anyway, some will like you, some will hate you, and you must
either ignore the ones that hate you, or flame them to the best of your
ability.

Q: Why the fuck are you guys wasting your time like this?

A: The Nameless Mission is why! You'll just have to read _The Book of the
SubGenius_, available from www.subgenius.com, to find out what THAT is.

Q: Why are you guys so bitter and mean all the time?

A: Because THEY steal our Sacred Slack, leaving us with only the merest
trickle of this vital substance. If only we had back all the Slack that
They have taken from us, we'd probably be really happy and nice all the
time.

Q: Shall our kind triumph?

A: Yes! Your kind SHALL triumph!

Well, that's all the questions I can think of. We don't really get a lot of
frequently asked ones. I'm sure that others can add to this and create
something truly diabolical.

-------------------------------------------------------

From: "St. Marc the Perpetually Amused" <disciple@templeoferis.org>

in article gOV76.36077$ge4.14801899@news2.rdc2.tx.home.com, Rev. Magdalen at
magdalen@home.com wrote on 1/13/01 4:08 AM:

> Actually, the Book only costs 14.95 plus shipping and handling, it's
> Membership that's thirty bucks. An amazing savings off comparable cults!

As I always say, "'Bob' doesn't want your soul, or your mind, or your life.
He wants your MONEY!" To me, this makes the Church of the SubGenius a little
LESS intimidating than those other cults (the Moonies, Hare Krishnas,
Baptists, etc.)

However - and this is key - most people are MORE ATTACHED to their money
than to their souls, their minds, or their lives and therefore find the
Church and "Bob" to be the incarnation of Ultimate Evil.

Think about that.

St. Marc the Perpetually Amused
Disciple of Eris
Holder of Some Titles
Most Powerful and Revered Being (without portfolio)
Redundant Head of the Department for Arbitration of Redundancy (without
portfolio,) Acting
You Can't Take Money On the Saucers - But Memorize Your Credit Card Number
Just In Case

http://www.templeoferis.org

-------------------------------------------------------

From: nu-monet <nothing@succeeds.com>

Q: Who are the Hierarchs?

A: They are the old ones (not necessarily chronologically)
who have given of their time (more important), did stuff (also
very important) and gave money (still right up their in the
imporant column) to the Church. Therefore their very lives and
certainly their opinions matter more than those of someone who
didn't or hasn't. It is appropriate to bow and grovel before
them, but not advisable to let them sneak around to your
backside while you are doing it. However, there doesn't seem
to be any penalty for telling them to fuck themselves, unless
you interfere with them doing their Church stuff.

Q: Is alt.slack all there is to the Church?

A: a.s. is just the tit of the iceberg. It is important that
you bobtize yourself in the fires of the web page, IRC, a.b.s.,
HOS and other radio, devivals, pubs, and other stuff so that
you will be familiar with what the Church is and does. Then
you need to both contribute *and* help out if at all possible.

Q: How can I physically help the Church?

A: You can get ordained for a mere $30. You can buy stuff
through the Scatalog on the web page. There is an s-load of
computer stuff you could do. You can recruit others. There
is no end to this list.

Back to document index

Original file name: The SubGenius FAQ - converted on Friday, 29 June 2001, 22:34