Is There a Subgenius Physicist in the House?!?!?!

From: Artemia Salina <y2k@sheayright.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Apr 5, 2001 12:45 PM
Message-ID: <3ACCA142.5856ED0D@sheayright.com>

If so, what do you make of these plans for an anti-gravity machine/capacitor
warp drive engine?

http://members.netjunk.com/dll/capwarp.htm

--
Artemia Salina -- http://www.drpez.com/drali1.htm
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Is There a Subgenius Physicist in the House?!?!?!
From: bear@pole.com (polar bear)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Apr 6, 2001 6:58 PM
Message-ID: <bear-ya02408000R0604011558570001@news.direct.ca>

this thing will never work without dilithium crystals, although you could
probably build up enough charge to kill yourself.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Is There a Subgenius Physicist in the House?!?!?!
From: prostata@bronze.coil.com (Rev. Prostata Cantata)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Apr 6, 2001 6:08 PM
Message-ID: <npela9.vlj.ln@news.concourse.com>

In article <3ACCA142.5856ED0D@sheayright.com>,
Artemia Salina <y2k@sheayright.com> wrote:
>If so, what do you make of these plans for an anti-gravity machine/capacitor
>warp drive engine?
>
>http://members.netjunk.com/dll/capwarp.htm

utter bullshit.

--
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
"Columbus is so lame we WISH we had cow tipping"
-Steve Conley at a Brat Mobile concert.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Is There a Subgenius Physicist in the House?!?!?!
From: joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com (Joe Cosby)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Apr 6, 2001 9:30 PM
Message-ID: <3ace6ba3.992974@news.mindspring.com>

"It can also be used to run electrical generators ... " oh great,
another perpetual motion machine.

" ... will produce a 'jet stream' of 'open curve gravitation' ... "

You always get these ones where they seem to think that having a field
in space is somehow going to allow you to sneak past the conservation
of energy.

I haven't looked at it closely, and I'm not an expert, but all I can
see is that it looks like it would generate a magnetic field in the
center roughly proportional to the input current.

"All electrostatic attraction and repulsion is gravitational in
nature"

Hmmm.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

Ronald McDonald is the evil demon inside Pippi Longstocking
- Subgenius Spice

Sig by Kookie Jar 5.98d http://go.to/generalfrenetics/
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Is There a Subgenius Physicist in the House?!?!?!
From: "St. Marc the Perpetually Amused" <disciple@templeoferis.org>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Apr 6, 2001 9:45 PM
Message-ID: <3ace7149$0$18888$272ea4a1@news.execpc.com>

in article 3ACCA142.5856ED0D@sheayright.com, Artemia Salina at
y2k@sheayright.com wrote on 4/5/01 11:45 AM:

> If so, what do you make of these plans for an anti-gravity machine/capacitor
> warp drive engine?

"I can make a hat, or a flower, or a bird..."

But I can't make a working engine out of them. If it worked, people would at
the very least be building little ones and racing them around like those
maniacs with the homebuilt hovercrafts and such.

St. Marc the Perpetually Amused
Disciple of Eris
Holder of Some Titles
Most Powerful and Revered Being (without portfolio)
Redundant Head of the Department for Arbitration of Redundancy Department
(without portfolio,) Acting
Those Were Filed The Same Day As the Tesla Cannon, I Bet

http://www.templeoferis.org
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Is There a Subgenius Physicist in the House?!?!?!
From: Artemia Salina <y2k@sheayright.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, Apr 7, 2001 1:46 AM
Message-ID: <3ACEA9A2.415112CD@sheayright.com>

>
> utter bullshit.

Ah well. Back to other people's drawing boards.

--
Artemia Salina -- http://www.drpez.com/drali1.htm

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Subject: Re: Is There a Subgenius Physicist in the House?!?!?!
From: prostata@bronze.coil.com (Rev. Prostata Cantata)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, Apr 7, 2001 12:55 PM
Message-ID: <mpgna9.sm6.ln@news.concourse.com>

In article <3ace6ba3.992974@news.mindspring.com>,
Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com> wrote:
>
>"It can also be used to run electrical generators ... " oh great,
>another perpetual motion machine.

yep.

>I haven't looked at it closely, and I'm not an expert, but all I can
>see is that it looks like it would generate a magnetic field in the
>center roughly proportional to the input current.

Yep, that's about it. The guy seems to think that there is some
kind of causel relationship between magnetic fields and gravity.

>"All electrostatic attraction and repulsion is gravitational in nature"
>
>Hmmm.

no hmming allowed! It's just plain bullshit. No reputable,
repeatable research has ever found a link between gravity and
electromagnetism. Whoever DOES find one is gonna end up being the richest
mother fucker on the planet and not some guy running a website.

Subject: Re: Is There a Subgenius Physicist in the House?!?!?!
From: "kevbob" <kevbob@ecsis.net>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, Apr 7, 2001 3:28 PM
Message-ID: <tcuqe0m4140f18@corp.supernews.com>

"Rev. Prostata Cantata" <prostata@bronze.coil.com> wrote

> Whoever DOES find one is gonna end up being the richest
> mother fucker on the planet and not some guy running a website.

now, i don't know physics from lawn care,

but,

what the hell does that mean?

--
"What part of "girl my ass" don't you understand?"
Field Marshall Stack
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Is There a Subgenius Physicist in the House?!?!?!
From: joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com (Joe Cosby)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, Apr 7, 2001 5:29 PM
Message-ID: <3acf8624.73325548@news.mindspring.com>

prostata@bronze.coil.com (Rev. Prostata Cantata) hunched over a
computer, typing feverishly;
thunder crashed, prostata@bronze.coil.com (Rev. Prostata Cantata)
laughed madly, then wrote:

>In article <3ace6ba3.992974@news.mindspring.com>,
>Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com> wrote:

>>"All electrostatic attraction and repulsion is gravitational in nature"
>>
>>Hmmm.
>
> no hmming allowed! It's just plain bullshit. No reputable,
>repeatable research has ever found a link between gravity and
>electromagnetism. Whoever DOES find one is gonna end up being the richest
>mother fucker on the planet and not some guy running a website.

Yeah he isn't only saying 'there is a link -between- electrical and
gravitational forces' but that electrical forces -are- gravitational
forces.

Gee golly, wun't that kind of mess up a few existing physical
processes?

Just little trivial things ... like atoms ...

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

BOBOBO
OBOBOB "HELLPOPEHUEY.exe" HAS PERFORMED AN ILLEGAL OPERATION
BOBOBO AND WILL BE SHUT DOWN
OBOBOB

Sig by Kookie Jar 5.98d http://go.to/generalfrenetics/
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Is There a Subgenius Physicist in the House?!?!?!
From: joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com (Joe Cosby)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, Apr 7, 2001 5:30 PM
Message-ID: <3acf86f1.73529780@news.mindspring.com>

"kevbob" <kevbob@ecsis.net> hunched over a computer, typing
feverishly;
thunder crashed, "kevbob" <kevbob@ecsis.net> laughed madly, then
wrote:

>"Rev. Prostata Cantata" <prostata@bronze.coil.com> wrote
>
>> Whoever DOES find one is gonna end up being the richest
>> mother fucker on the planet and not some guy running a website.
>
>
>now, i don't know physics from lawn care,
>
>but,
>
>what the hell does that mean?
>

In a nutshell, any electrical device should float.

>--
>"What part of "girl my ass" don't you understand?"
>Field Marshall Stack
>
>
>
>

Subject: Re: Is There a Subgenius Physicist in the House?!?!?!
From: nu-monet <nothing@succeeds.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: like.excess@sex.org
Date: Sat, Apr 7, 2001 5:41 PM
Message-ID: <3ACF8996.8D6@succeeds.com>

kevbob wrote:
>
>
> now, i don't know physics from lawn care,
>
> but,
>
> what the hell does that mean?
>

That you might someday spread strange matter rather
than Miracle-Gro(tm) on your lawn, and inadvertantly
cause the destruction of the universe while getting
the snappiest looking front yard on your block.

--
"There is no nu-monet. There is only Zuul."
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Is There a Subgenius Physicist in the House?!?!?!
From: prostata@bronze.coil.com (Rev. Prostata Cantata)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, Apr 7, 2001 11:26 PM
Message-ID: <moloa9.k7u.ln@news.concourse.com>

In article <tcuqe0m4140f18@corp.supernews.com>, kevbob <kevbob@ecsis.net>
wrote:
>
>now, i don't know physics from lawn care,
>
>but,
>
>what the hell does that mean?

I ment that anyone who can find a real and usefull relationship
between electromagnetics and gravitation is going to get mighty rich
mighty quick by causing the next major technological revolution.

It'll make the nearly everything we've done in the last two centuries
look like a buncha cavemen bangin' rocks together to make fire.

Many very bright people (who do real science) have been thinking
about this for years now and have come up with jack/shit.

Subject: Re: Is There a Subgenius Physicist in the House?!?!?!
From: iDRMRSR <alex.i.thymia@depression.org>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sun, Apr 8, 2001 12:10 AM
Message-ID: <BFB74DD2F36AD6CC.044282FA4415B914.3025198FE0585404@lp.airnews.net>

>>jack/shit

Aha! That's the missing part of the equation! Jack divided by Shit, of
course...now the spin on the electrons is predictable, the quantum
states in balance, and the covariance now INvariant to the third degree,
which means at last that gravity equals time times neutrino density
times jack divided by shit...

[*]
-----
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Is There a Subgenius Physicist in the House?!?!?!
From: joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com (Joe Cosby)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sun, Apr 8, 2001 2:57 AM
Message-ID: <3ad00baf.18410873@news.mindspring.com>

prostata@bronze.coil.com (Rev. Prostata Cantata) hunched over a
computer, typing feverishly;
thunder crashed, prostata@bronze.coil.com (Rev. Prostata Cantata)
laughed madly, then wrote:

>In article <tcuqe0m4140f18@corp.supernews.com>, kevbob <kevbob@ecsis.net>
>wrote:
>>
>>now, i don't know physics from lawn care,
>>
>>but,
>>
>>what the hell does that mean?
>
> I ment that anyone who can find a real and usefull relationship
>between electromagnetics and gravitation is going to get mighty rich
>mighty quick by causing the next major technological revolution.
>
> It'll make the nearly everything we've done in the last two centuries
>look like a buncha cavemen bangin' rocks together to make fire.
>
> Many very bright people (who do real science) have been thinking
>about this for years now and have come up with jack/shit.
>

When they start working on a practical way to access vacuum energy
I'll sit up and take notice.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

The secret to flying is actually quite simple. Just throw yourself at the ground as
hard as you can, and miss.
- Douglas Adams

Sig by Kookie Jar 5.98d http://go.to/generalfrenetics/
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Is There a Subgenius Physicist in the House?!?!?!
From: joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com (Joe Cosby)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sun, Apr 8, 2001 4:00 AM
Message-ID: <3ad01864.21664381@news.mindspring.com>

iDRMRSR <alex.i.thymia@depression.org> hunched over a computer, typing
feverishly;
thunder crashed, iDRMRSR <alex.i.thymia@depression.org> laughed madly,
then wrote:

>>>jack/shit
>
>Aha! That's the missing part of the equation! Jack divided by Shit, of
>course...now the spin on the electrons is predictable, the quantum
>states in balance, and the covariance now INvariant to the third degree,
>which means at last that gravity equals time times neutrino density
>times jack divided by shit...
>

Subgenius physics I see.

They knew about all this stuff back in Atlantis. The high priest had
a hollow in his nose so when they hung the holy magnetic nosering from
it there was a gravity field and he could blow his nose without moving
a muscle. This allowed for interstellar travel.

>[*]
>-----
>
>

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

There are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics.
-- Benjamin Disraeli

Sig by Kookie Jar 5.98d http://go.to/generalfrenetics/
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Is There a Subgenius Physicist in the House?!?!?!
From: prostata@bronze.coil.com (Rev. Prostata Cantata)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sun, Apr 8, 2001 1:49 PM
Message-ID: <sb8qa9.eet.ln@news.concourse.com>

In article <BFB74DD2F36AD6CC.044282FA4415B914.3025198FE0585404@lp.airnews.net>,
iDRMRSR <alex.i.thymia@depression.org> wrote:
>
>Aha! That's the missing part of the equation! Jack divided by Shit, of
>course...now the spin on the electrons is predictable, the quantum
>states in balance, and the covariance now INvariant to the third degree,
>which means at last that gravity equals time times neutrino density
>times jack divided by shit...
>

EURIKA! It balances.

so G=TNd(J/S)

then dG/dS=-J*Nd*t/S^2

so that means we can easilly find out how much shit is needed to produce a
deltaG that will exactly cancel any given Gfield.

That's it, now we have the first steps towards a shit-powered
electromagnetic anti gravity device!

Subject: Re: Is There a Subgenius Physicist in the House?!?!?!
From: wbarwell@starbase.neosoft.com (William Barwell)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, Apr 9, 2001 1:58 AM
Message-ID: <CA2DACFE7ED16E8B.1287E1AD31B457BF.3460D1BD4A64F862@lp.airnews.net>

In article <moloa9.k7u.ln@news.concourse.com>,
Rev. Prostata Cantata <prostata@bronze.coil.com> wrote:
>In article <tcuqe0m4140f18@corp.supernews.com>, kevbob <kevbob@ecsis.net>
>wrote:
>>
>>now, i don't know physics from lawn care,
>>
>>but,
>>
>>what the hell does that mean?
>
> I ment that anyone who can find a real and usefull relationship
>between electromagnetics and gravitation is going to get mighty rich
>mighty quick by causing the next major technological revolution.

Probably not. The explanation will be of interest to
physicists only and will not be worth the technological
advance of stainless steel dogbowls.

There will be no anti-gravity machines anymore
than understanding electromagnetism allows us
to make UFOs that use the Earth's magnetic field to fly,
despite the hopes of tens of thousands of UFO buffs
over the decades.

"The Nation that rules magnatism rules the Universe"
- Dick Tracy

Try sci.physics. Ask for Uncle Al.

Pope Charles
SubGenius Pope of Houston
Slack!
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Is There a Subgenius Physicist in the House?!?!?!
From: wbarwell@starbase.neosoft.com (William Barwell)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, Apr 9, 2001 2:01 AM
Message-ID: <2BBF7BEFEA87DC2F.F9DBCCBF6A31F890.1915E06C15028E42@lp.airnews.net>

In article <sb8qa9.eet.ln@news.concourse.com>,
Rev. Prostata Cantata <prostata@bronze.coil.com> wrote:
>In article <BFB74DD2F36AD6CC.044282FA4415B914.3025198FE0585404@lp.airnews.net>,
>iDRMRSR <alex.i.thymia@depression.org> wrote:
>>
>>Aha! That's the missing part of the equation! Jack divided by Shit, of
>>course...now the spin on the electrons is predictable, the quantum
>>states in balance, and the covariance now INvariant to the third degree,
>>which means at last that gravity equals time times neutrino density
>>times jack divided by shit...
>>
>
>
>
> EURIKA! It balances.
>
>so G=TNd(J/S)
>
>then dG/dS=-J*Nd*t/S^2
>
>so that means we can easilly find out how much shit is needed to produce a
>deltaG that will exactly cancel any given Gfield.
>
> That's it, now we have the first steps towards a shit-powered
>electromagnetic anti gravity device!

But you need cow assholes to act as field coils.

Pope Charles
SubGenius Pope of Houston
Slack!
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Is There a Subgenius Physicist in the House?!?!?!
From: Hulkturds@crappagammabrick.ouch (HellPope Huey)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, Apr 9, 2001 3:32 AM
Message-ID: <Hulkturds-0904010132520001@pool-209-128-154-76.hs.ipa.net>

In article <sb8qa9.eet.ln@news.concourse.com>, prostata@bronze.coil.com
(Rev. Prostata Cantata) wrote:

> In article
<BFB74DD2F36AD6CC.044282FA4415B914.3025198FE0585404@lp.airnews.net>,
> iDRMRSR <alex.i.thymia@depression.org> wrote:
> >
> >Aha! That's the missing part of the equation! Jack divided by Shit, of
> >course...now the spin on the electrons is predictable, the quantum
> >states in balance, and the covariance now INvariant to the third degree,
> >which means at last that gravity equals time times neutrino density
> >times jack divided by shit...
> >
> > EURIKA! It balances.
> > so G=TNd(J/S)
> > then dG/dS=-J*Nd*t/S^2
>
> so that means we can easilly find out how much shit is needed to produce a
> deltaG that will exactly cancel any given Gfield.
> > That's it, now we have the first steps towards a shit-powered
> electromagnetic anti gravity device!

Yippee. If I wanna fly, I have to have a tube stuck in my ass? How many
times have I passed up sales pitches like THAT in my colorful past?
There's a reason there are no statues of heroes wearing colostomy bags.

No, you'd have a strength-to-weight ratio paradox. By the time you got
enough SubGeniuses together to GENERATE and SHOVEL shit at escape-velocity
levels, both the total mass of the unit proper and the SMELL would ruin
its efficiency.

Start again.

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
Give me liberty or
give me a smack in the back of th' head.

"Earth first! Make Mars our bitch!"
- "King of the Hill"

"I'd counter that, but I'd already moved on
to other things in my head."
- "The West Wing"

"Every day I
Sing inside my
Red hot
Red hot engine"
- Richard Bone, "Vox Orbita"
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Is There a Subgenius Physicist in the House?!?!?!
From: prostata@bronze.coil.com (Rev. Prostata Cantata)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, Apr 9, 2001 1:12 PM
Message-ID: <dhqsa9.nhb.ln@news.concourse.com>

In article <Hulkturds-0904010132520001@pool-209-128-154-76.hs.ipa.net>,
HellPope Huey <Hulkturds@crappagammabrick.ouch> wrote:
>
> Yippee. If I wanna fly, I have to have a tube stuck in my ass? How many
>times have I passed up sales pitches like THAT in my colorful past?
>There's a reason there are no statues of heroes wearing colostomy bags.

Maybe not where YOU live, but around here they have a lovely
biggass statue of former Gov. Jim Rhodes (the man who gave the order to
send the national guard onto the Kent St. campus) and many other fine
paragons of flying by flinging shit. Come on up to Cowlumbus sometime and
we'll show you an entire CITY founded on the pricipals of fecal
aerodynamics.

>
> No, you'd have a strength-to-weight ratio paradox. By the time you got
>enough SubGeniuses together to GENERATE and SHOVEL shit at escape-velocity
>levels, both the total mass of the unit proper and the SMELL would ruin
>its efficiency.
>
Well, ok, subgenii have that problem, it's part of our genetic
makeup, but we're WORKING on it dammit, and by the begining of the next
decade we could have fecal levitation worked out to a degree that will
make our ancestors SIT UP IN THEIR GRAVES and look up in the sky in WONDER
at what we have done, but holyshit I hope they got some BIG BUMBERSHOOTS
'cause lordallmighty it's gonna be a RAININ' bad news on the ground as the
sons and daughters of "Bob" drop their brown blessings on the face of the
firmament!!!

"Holy SHIT Mildred, what the fuck is....OH DEAR GOD NO!!!!"

Subject: Re: Is There a Subgenius Physicist in the House?!?!?!
From: "kevbob" <kevbob@ecsis.net>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, Apr 7, 2001 6:37 PM
Message-ID: <td7h8gftqs1048@corp.supernews.com>

"nu-monet" <nothing@succeeds.com> wrote in message
news:3ACF8996.8D6@succeeds.com...
> kevbob wrote:
> > now, i don't know physics from lawn care,
> >
> > but,
> >
> > what the hell does that mean?
>
> That you might someday spread strange matter rather
> than Miracle-Gro(tm) on your lawn, and inadvertantly
> cause the destruction of the universe while getting
> the snappiest looking front yard on your block.

all because the smartest man in the universe runs a website?

gee golly, i'll turn off the web pronto.

--
"What part of "girl my ass" don't you understand?"
Field Marshall Stack

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Original file name: Is There a Subgenius Physicist - converted on Friday, 29 June 2001, 22:34