MICHELLE HASS (michelle.hass@ledge.com) wrote:
: Subgenii and Discordians must unite!!!!
: PK>I thought that's what groups like the Ordo Deluminatus Dobbsii were for!
: And per chance, is the Grand Master of the O.'.D.'.D.'. one Adam
: Wisenheimer?
: Jesus Bobfucking Christ with a bleeding rectum...those posts in
: Fidonet Magicknet Mundane way back in 1988 have taken on a life of their
: own!
From: Rod_Rombauer@neonate.amiga.atl.ga.us (Rod Rombauer)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Just some slack I found somewhere...
Date: 11 Jun 92 18:12:39 GMT
Organization: The Village BBS
O .'. D .'. D .'.
Ordo Deluminatus Dobbsii
The Order of Dobbsian Deluminati
Liber BOB: THE BOOK OF DELUMINATUS.
SLACK AS THOU WILT SHALL BE THE WHOLE OF THE LAW
Book the First
I;1.Bob! The manifestation of J.R. Dobbs.
I;2.The unveiling of the Deluminatus.
I;3.Every man and every woman must have slack.
I;4.Slack is infinite; there is no difference.
I;5.Help me, O warrior lord of The Ipeot, in my unveiling before the
Children of The Moamo!
I;6.Be thou Humongus, my power tool that is in my pants!
I;7.Behold! it is revealed by Adam Wisenheimer, the Slackmeister.
I;8.The Piss is in the Sun, not the Sun in the Piss.
I;9.Worship then the Ipeot, and behold its sun piss shed over you!
I;10.Let my servants be few & slack: they shall rule the many who don't get
the joke.
I;11.These are foods that men adore; their foods are junk. Hail the holy
Twinkie, the Twinkie covered with chocolate!
I;12.Come forth, o children, under the stars, & take your fill of Twinkies!
I;13.My ecstasy is in slack. Slack is good.
I;14.Above is The Claws of the Ipeot, the God Lobster; Behold, these claws
are verily the Stark Fist of Removal. The wrath of JHVH-1, the
Interplanetary. Fear the claws, tremble at their might and redness,
They are mine, O Ankle biter!
I;15.Now ye shall know that the chosen priest & apostle of infinite slack
is the prince-priest J.R. "Bob" Dobbs; and his messenger called the
Slackmeister, by name Adam Wisenheimer. Unto them is all power given.
I;16.For he is ever a sun, and the sun doth shed its rays of piss on
the earth, unbeknownst to Gods and men.
I;17.But ye are not the winner of Ten Million Dollars, for Ed McMahon doth
not speak it yea.
I;18.The key of the rituals is in a secret word which I have given unto him.
I;19.In the guise of the Lobster I am nothing: they do not see me.
They are as dog excrement upon the earth; I am The Ipeot and there is
no other, save for My Epopt.
I;20.Now, therefore, I am known to ye by my name IPEOTMOAMO, and to
him by a secret name which I will give him when at last he knoweth me.
I;21.But whoso follows this doggerel, let him be given the high five!
I;22.For these fools of men that know not Slack and their woes, care
not thou at all! They feel little and imbibe even less of the water;
what is, is balanced by weak joys; but ye are my chosen ones.
I;23.Obey my prophet the Slackmeister! follow out the ordeals of my
knowledge! seek me only! Then Slack will redeem ye from all pain.
I;24.Then the Epopt fell into a deep trance or swoon, & said unto the
Slackmeister; Write unto us the ordeals; write unto us the rituals;
write unto us the law!
I;25.But he said: the ordeals I write not: the rituals shall be half
known and half concealed: the Law is for all.
I;26.This that thou writest is the threefold book of the Deluminatus.
I;27.The rants and spells; the mission of the Moamo; the dangers of
Gravity and of Evaporation; these he shall learn and teach.
I;28.He must teach; but he may make severe the ordeals.
I;29.The word of the Law is SLACK.
I;30.Who calls us Slackers will do no wrong, if he look but close into
the word. Slack as thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.
I;31.The word of Sin is Evaporation. O man! refuse not to drink of the
Water, for the sun piss doth not satisfy! Quaff as ye will! All
else is a curse. Accursed! Accursed be it to the aeons! Hell!
I;32.Let it be that thou learnest the mastery of Slack above all; thou
hast no right but to Slack as ye will.
I;33.Do that, and no other shall say nay.
I;34.For pure Slack, unassuaged of purpose, is every way perfect.
I;35.My prophet is a fool for fun, but he knowest that to think more and to
party less is better still. And he knowest that Slack is best of all.
I;36.If this be not aright; if ye are confounded by Gravity and space out,
saying: They are too heavy; or saying, They are too light; if the
ritual be not ever unto me: then expect to face the Stark Fist of
Removal, and to be crushed by the claws of the Ipeot!
I;37.Behold, both Gravity and Evaporation doth pull at the Subgenius, but
the Subgenius cannot allow himself to be Dehydrated or dragged under,
lest he be as the Dogs.
I;38.Invoke me and partake of the gifts of Slack, Slack is the law,
Slack under Chill. He, my prophet, hath chosen the inner circle, the
way of Delumination. All these old letters of my Book revealed to
Stang are aright; but that's not all, folks. This also is secret:
my prophet shall reveal it to the wise.
I;39.I give unimaginable joys on earth: quenching, not dehydration,
while in life, upon death; Slack everlasting.
I;40.My number is 0, as all their numbers who are of us. The capstone of the
Pyramid, with the Closed Eye of Delumination, and the Pipe of Dobbs,
that is my symbol. Also I have a secret glory for them that love me.
I;41.Sing the rap unto me! Drink to me the pure spring water, for as
the brothers Byte doth say, I love you! I love you!
I;42.The joy of Slack is within ye.
Book the Second
II;1.Nu? Vos machs du?
II;2.Come! Have much sex! Come much! I, The Deluminatus, am the complement
of the Ipeot. Delta is the name of my House.
II;3.Yet he shall be known & I never.
II;4.Behold! the rituals of the old time lack moisture. Let the evaporated
ones be cast away; let them be osmosticised by the prophet!
Then shall this Knowledge go aright.
II;5.Now let there be a veiling of clouds: now let the sun piss rain
down on men and eat them up with blindness!
II;6.These are dead, these fellows; they Slack not. We are not for
the poor and Slackless: the lords of the earth are our kinsfolk.
II;7.There is great danger in me; for who doth not understand these
runes shall make a great mess and shit their drawers. He shall fall
down into the pit called Not Funny, and there he shall perish with
the dogs of Humorlessness.
II;8.Now a curse upon Not Funny and his kin!
II;9.May Not Funny be accursed for ever!
II;10.If Slack asks why, then is Slack weakness?
II;11.Also Serious is a lie; for there is a factor infinite & unknown;
& all their words are Slackless.
II;12.Enough of Serious! Be he damned for a dog!
II;13.But ye, o my people, rise up & awake!
II;14.Let the rituals be rightly performed with joy & beauty!
II;15.A feast for the Ipeot!
II;16.A feast for the Epopt and his Slackmeister!
II;17.There is a verb: that verb is fuck. It is the verb of most high
enjoyment, it is the verb of liquidification of genitalia. Tear down
those who say it is profanity, those lying spectre of the centuries:
they are the ones who are blue of nose and doth not get any pussy.
II;18.Begone! ye censors; even though ye say ye are moral, ye are
filth and drenched with sun-piss.
II;19.He that is Slackful shall be Slackful still; he that is
filthy shall be filthy still.
II;20.Therefore strike hard & low, right in their nuts, and to hell
with them, master!
II;21.I am the Slackmeister: thou art Subgenius. Me Tarzan, you Jane.
II;22.When thou masterest the ways of Slack and Delumination, ye
shall be called not merely Deluminatus, but Moamo. And not merely
Moamo, mind you, but also Slackmeister, for thou shalt be where I am.
To be Continued...
-- Via DLG Pro v0.992
From: Rod_Rombauer@neonate.amiga.atl.ga.us (Rod Rombauer)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Just some slack I found somewhere... continued
Date: 11 Jun 92 19:49:31 GMT
Organization: The Village BBS
Continued...
Book the third.
III;1.Abramowitz; the name of Heidi.
III;2.Get the Stark Fist of Removal, write away for it to the Church,
read it well, read and laugh. The Deluminati shall read, and laugh,
but know that this is not the whole of the mysteries of Dobbs.
III;3.Ye shall see that hour, o Subgenius, and ye shall see the
O .'. D .'. D .'. be raised as the Inner Order of the Subgenii.
III;4.Deem not too eagerly to catch the promises; fear not to undergo
the curses. Ye, even ye, know not this meaning all.
III;5.That ye shall call the order the Ordo Deluminatus Dobbsii, know
well its name, & it shall be to you as clean spring water to
osmosticise yourself through forced liquidification.
III;6.Why? Because of the fall of Not Funny, that he is not there again.
III;7.Set up my image in the East: thou shalt buy thee an image which
I will show thee, especial, not unlike the one thou knowest, of the
face of "Bob" with his Sacred Pipe. And it shall be suddenly easy
for thee to do this.
III;8.All this and a book to say how thou didst come hither and a
reproduction of this ink and paper for ever -- for in it is the
word secret & not only in the English -- and thy comment upon this
the Book of the Deluminatus.
III;9.Now this mystery of the letters is done, and I want to go on to
the holier place.
III;10.I am in a secret fourfold word, the blasphemy against all gods
of men. This word is as the word FUCK, as in FUCK OFF.
III;11.Curse them! Curse them! Curse them!
III;12.Drown them all in sun-piss, for they know not the Deluminatus,
the IPEOTMOAMO, and the Epopt of YHVH-1! Let the Crucified one be
submurged in piss, and let a picture be taken thereupon, to make
mad the man known as Jesse of the house of Helms!
III;13.I take off the turban of the Ayatollah, revealing therein a
fine Mohawk of many colors!
III;14.With my claws I tear out flesh and shed blood, for indeed
they are the Stark Fist of Removal!
III;15.Shazam! Wazoo! I spit on the minions of Not Funny, even the
minions of Greyface.
III;16.There is no law beyond Slack as thou wilt.
III;17.The ending of the words is the Word Abramowitz.
SLACK IS THE LAW, SLACK UNDER CHILL
THE COMMENTARY
1.)Know that this is the secret of secrets. Guard it well from those
who serve Not Funny and Greyface.
2.)Know that the followers of Discordia are allies, and that they are
not accursed. They have rejected Not Funny as we have, the Ipeot is
their unknown guide. The names of Eris, Kallisti, Discordia, and of
Ghoddess are of us, Discordia being the name of the Spouse of the
Ipeot. Extend to them the hand of friendship, speaking the words "Evoe
Eris".
3.)Speak not these secrets among the outer circles of the Church of
the Subgenius, for they are not ready for the ultimate of Slack. But
speak the words of the Law, that is, SLACK AS THOU WILT SHALL BE THE
WHOLE OF THE LAW; SLACK IS THE LAW, SLACK UNDER CHILL. When they doth
fathom the import of these words, then they shall be worthy of
introduction as -0 degree Probationary Slackers into the Inner Order
of the Subgenius, The Ordo Deluminatus Dobbsii.
4.)When in danger, thou art enjoined to EAT THIS BOOK, lest it fall
into the hands of Not Funny.
Had enough yet? Or are you gonna kill me?
/-----------------------------------------------\
The High Eggs Salted Reverend Powertools
Of the ONLY Goddamned Church of Calvinball
"Kill the Hell out of my $20 hamburger
\-----------------------------------------------/
-- Via DLG Pro v0.992
.......................TEAR.ALONG.THE.DOTTED.LINE.......................
Epopt of the Exploding Head of JFK Licensed to blaspheme the Gods!
My skull is bigger on the inside than the outside!
Send $1 to SubGenius Foundation, P.O. Box 140306, Dallas TX 75214
Original file name: Re The O.'.D.'.D.'.?
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