AKITTY KAT RING -- You will be getting a LOT of pussy. A HELL of a lot of pussy. Pussy like you WOULD NOT BELIEVE.
ASLIPPERS RING -- One of your organs will become very hard -- but another organ will become very, very soft.
ABUNNY RING -- You will soon be fidgetting fretfully, hopping about and eating lettuce. There will be a change in your relationships.
AUNICORN RING -- You will charge ahead in all matters of your life, achieving success, happiness and wealth, until you run into a tree and get your horn stuck in it. None may know what will happen to you after that.
AKOALA RING -- a hairy, ugly, flat-nosed little person or animal will climb up you and have an orgasm. Stay on dry land.
AROSE RING -- You will have a life-changing experience in which the cosmic Egg of the Universe opens up before your eyes and you see a vision of all Oneness, until you come down and realize it's the revolving lights on top of a cop car.
APENGUIN RING -- You will become fat and very cold. Everything will be in black and white. There is much waddling in your future.
ABUNNY MAZE -- You will fuck constantly but very quickly and have many babies; and when you are finished, you will fall over and snore.
ATEDDY BEAR MAZE -- a giant hairy man with buttons for eyes will forcibly sodomize you while your stuffed bunny videotapes it and cackles.
ASTAR MAZE -- You will find peace and love and mighty sexhurt for all your days, because you are SO COOL.
AICE CREAM CONE MAZE -- The crazy people will not be able to hurt you any longer. There will be many children in your house. Some will be housebroken.
Original file name: FORTUNES.txt
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