The Piecemeal Rupture

Rev. Ivan Stang

I don't remember who I was yakking with when these notes got taken, but I found amongst the crap on my desk a little memo about this.

The theory is that X-Day STARTED in 1998, and is ongoing; we ARE all BEING RUPTURED RIGHT NOW -- but we're being lifted up onto the Escape Vessels of the Sex Goddesses ONE ORGAN AT A TIME. Or, in some cases, one GLAND or one SENSE at a time. Sometimes a few thousand DOLLARS at a time.

In 1998, on July 5 -- actually two days BEFORE July 5 -- Rev. Pee Kitty's insulin gland was Ruptured and he suddenly had diabetes.

The next day, my inner ear was Ruptured and I developed chronic vertigo.* *(I heard a rumor that there was a rumor that my chronic vertigo -- since "healed" by the regular eating of food -- was caused by my being dunked in the Brushwood pond by the angry mob upon the Saucer's non-Arisal on 7-5-98. My first serious vertigo attack was actually the day before. Different irony entirely.)

Pastor Craig's collarbone was another organ that was VISIBLY Ruptured, in 2000.

Dr. Legume's regularity of heartbeat was Ruptured at some point -- as was Dr. G. Gordon Gordon's and Dr. Onan Canobite's. Jesus lost some blood at one; I lost my temper at all of them, but it came back.

I'm sure everyone with a Membership card who is reading this has their own example. Many of you may have lost teeth. You will meet those teeth again, at "Bob's" right hand, aboard that fateful craft. Dok Frop's Internet Stocks fortune was Ruptured. Philo's inhibitions vanished, along with his wife. Come to think of it, several of us had spouses "vanish" in this prolonged Rupture. Heck, even the air conditioner in my old Mazda joined the Sex Goddesses.

Some may have had other parts Ruptured, like their Honor, or their Morality. Papa Joe Mama's Innocence was taken during his Trial at Triple-XXX-Day. Huge chunks of Subgenius memory are surely even now floating upwards to those silvery sky ships. How else to explain where it all went?

Some Members have probably temporarily lost Quality of Life, or even "Sanity" to premature Ascendancy to Dimension Zero. No doubt some few lost their precious virginity or even their car keys during one X-Day "Drill" or another.

JUST DON'T LOSE THAT MEMBERSHIP CARD!... and ALL will be returned to you in due time. or, rather, you will be returned to those missing parts.

----------------------------------------------------------
From: "Alliekatt" <alleykatzen@hotmail.com>

My dignity got ruptured five years ago right after I saw a real actual
flying saucer. And to top it all off it happened about 25 miles from
Brushwood on an entirely unrelated trip. Fuckers.

alliekatt
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Legume <none@yerbiz.com>

I'm being ruptured one brain cell at a time. My hair got ruptured a few
years back, and every day a zillion of my dead skin flakes join the sex
goddesses. A few teeth (including all my baby teeth) are there waiting with
my appendix.

But I have to ask this; what of my turds, my spit, snot, puke, piss, and
boogers? Are they there as well?
--
----------------------------------
Dr. K. "Cortez" Legume

Looking for the New World
and the Palace in the Sun
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Squid Kid" <ask@ma.ultranet.com>

My socks... All I want are my socks back... And that 3-D poster of a clown
throwing a pie that I got in my copy of Wow! magazine.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nu-monet <nothing@succeeds.com>

Legume wrote:
>
> But I have to ask this; what of my turds, my spit,
> snot, puke, piss, and boogers? Are they there as well?
>

What do you think you're going to sleep in?

*
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: iDRMRSR <alex.i.thymia@depression.org>

I want back all the seed I spilled. So I can spill it all again!

I want back my sixth cervical vertebra, too. I have some other dead
guy's bone chunk installed in its place.

Wherever he is, I hope he doesn't miss it too much. It's getting good
care, though. Plenty of exposure to pornography. Fine nutrition.

I hope he doesn't GROW BACK and pop out of my neck like the Alien!

[*]
-----

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: The Piecemeal Rupture
From: Artemia Salina <y2k@sheayright.com>

Wouldn't it be the irony of all ironies if it was RAY MILLAND'S
neck bone?

Or Rosie Greer's.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Blackout" <blackout@404infomagic.net>

"iDRMRSR" wrote
> I want back all the seed I spilled. So I can spill it all again!

I want all mine back so I can squirt it out at once for 45 minutes
straight
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Ned Wreck" <NedWreck@usenetserver.com>

The only things I have that have shown any evidence of rupturing are my
membership card which has been split in twain and my copy of the Book of the
SubGenius which is starting to come unglued.
Lucky me.

--
Eternal Salvation or Triple Your Money Back!!! HTTP://WWW.SubGenius.com
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nu-monet <nothing@succeeds.com>

iDRMRSR wrote:
>
> I hope he doesn't GROW BACK and pop out of my
> neck like the Alien!
>

Hmmmm. Maybe you got something there. You could
let him smoke the cigarettes, so that while you
get the buzz, he gets the yellow teeth and stale
breath. Or you could eat the food you want to,
while he has to eat the tofu and bean sprouts--
bingo, you get at least a half-good diet.
When somebody boring calls, you could put the phone
to his ear, and he has to go "uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh"
while you're listening to Jimi on your walkman.
And think of the sexual possibilities.

*
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Alliekatt" <alleykatzen@hotmail.com>

"Blackout" <blackout@404infomagic.net> wrote in message
news:JZmE7.320$O%4.519116@news.uswest.net...
> I want all mine back so I can squirt it out at once for 45 minutes
> straight

Aw man, I saw that once. I even saved the mpg to my pr0n folder as random
sexhurt bulldada. It's this guy with balls about half the size of a bowling
ball and he puts out NO KIDDING at least 10 ounces of jizz on the floor.
It's some bizarre medical condition. weird.

alliekatt
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: iDRMRSR <alex.i.thymia@depression.org>
Newsgroups: alt.slack

Egad, I hope you'll post it or share the URL. Sounds as interesting as
Clown Felching! We'll just call it something like a "dream cum".
Personally, I plan on working on sheer volume with my sex goddess(es) on
the pleasure saucer, even if it takes a few centuries. Maybe Dobbs will
smile upon me and give me a prostate the size of a watermelon with the
capacity of a Rheem hot water tank.

Yeah, that's the ticket...

[*]
-----

Back to document index

Original file name: The Piecemeal Rupture-Only - converted on Thursday, 20 December 2001, 03:25