Operation Clambake

From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@attbi.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack

So, I'm just cruising around on www.xenu.net and I'm readin through an
article there, and I'm thinking, "Hmm, good article," and then, there at the
bottom it says "Written by Pope Charles, the SubGenius Pope of Houston,
Slack!"!! That just about blew my mind! And the Lord tells me that Modemac
also has stuff up there on that site! Way to go guys! You're like, totally
famous! And for a good thing, too, not for like, dying while trying to fuck
a chicken.

So then, I'm also reading through there, and there's a thing that says
Operation Clambake gave $300,000 to the Lisa McPhearson Trust. And I'm
thinking, "Hey, why don't they give US $300,000 too?? We fight
Scientology!" And so the Lord goes, "Yeah, but that's not our stated
purpose." And I go, "We could MAKE it our stated purpose if it means we'll
get $300,000!!!" And He goes, "Fighting Scientology is very difficult,
people could get hurt, it could be bad." And I go, "It's THREE HUNDRED
THOUSAND DOLLARS!" So that's my first money-making scheme of the night --
convince Operation Clambake that we are a worthy anti-Scientology
organization deserving of large donations just like the LMT.

And while we're on the subject of large donations to non-SubGenius causes,
where's OUR chunk of the George Harrison millions??? How much did he give
those wacky Hare Krishnas?? Oh suuuuure, just because they're probably
going to spend it on food for the hungry, is that any excuse to leave us
out? Just ONE million would have been ample!! But NOOO, that RIVAL CULT
got to him first, and we're left out in the cold. This leads me to my
second money-making scheme of the night -- we must go out and convert
relatively unknown rock stars while they are under the influence of potent
hashish. The trick will be to pick out which ones are destined to become
super-rich and thus leave us lots of money in their wills. (hint -- pick
ones that PINKS will spend money on, not ones that YOU would buy music from)
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Operation Clambake
From: Modemac <modemac@modemac.com>

SubGenii have been in the forefront of the battle against the Sons Of
Elron from the very beginning. Read about the raid on Dennis Erlich,
which was one of the opening salvos in the war. Dennis Erlich left
Scientology, and he publicly pronounced that he found the Book Of The
SubGenius to be therapeutic and healing. At his request, Stang
"officially" pronounced Erlich to be a SubGenius minister (a symbolic
gesture, because anyone can do that; I don't know if Erlich ever sent
in his $30), and only two weeks later his home was raided by
Scientology.

The famous "Clam FAQ" was indeed written by Pope Charles. There's
been a lot of discussion and argument over the morality of using the
term "clam" as a derogatory name for Scientologists, but there's a
fairly widespread agreement that some of their worst acts have earned
them that name.

Robert Vaughn Young was one of the most famous critics of Scientology,
before the online war and during its early stages. He had to retire
because he developed cancer and had to concentrate on fighting it
(latest word said that the cancer is in remision)...but he sent me an
email once on how he saw "Arise!" in the video store and had to rent
it. It blew his mind, and he laughed his head off. He is quoted in
the Scatalog as saying "Now THIS is a cult I can join!" about us, and
it's completely true.

Other SubGenii in the online war include David Gerard, one of the most
prominent critics in Australia. Dave Bird in England, who still
protests against them today. Keith Henson, the man whose life has
practically been destroyed by Scientology (he was forced to flee to
Canada, where he is currently applying for political asylum), has
mentioned us and used us as an example in his court case. And when
Arnie Lerma's home was raided by Scientology, he was left with his
home in a shambles. One of the first people to visit him after the
raid announced that he was a friend of J.R. "Bob" Dobbs, and when he
heard that Arnie knew that he was a friend and not another spy from
the Sons of Elron.

All of this is true, and I am not exaggerating.

--
First Online Church of "Bob"
http://www.modemac.com/
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Operation Clambake
From: "glassgnost" <dlindnerSPAMBLOCKED@socal.rr.com>

"Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@attbi.com> wrote in message
news:AriQ7.15959$ER5.268703@rwcrnsc52...

> got to him first, and we're left out in the cold. This leads me to my
> second money-making scheme of the night -- we must go out and convert
> relatively unknown rock stars while they are under the influence of potent
> hashish. The trick will be to pick out which ones are destined to become
> super-rich and thus leave us lots of money in their wills.

Naw, too much work. Just rope in anyone who shows some potential, get them
in a "confessional", keep the blackmail material in a nuke-hardened bunker
in New Mexico, and wait for one of the marks to strike it rich.

--
What would you do if the people you knew
Were the plastic that melted
And the chromium too? - Frank Zappa

- dlindner (at) socal (dot) rr (dot) com -
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Operation Clambake
From: "Fredric L. Rice" <FRice@SkepticTank.ORG>

<laughing!> Hell, many SubGenii were people who started exposing
the Scientology organization's "questionable" activities long before it
became an international world-wide sport to picket and protest against
human rights abuses. SubGenii led the field for decades and I'd hazard
a guess that a lot of the X-Day and written SubGenii mythology was a
result of knowing the Scientology organization.

--
http://www.SkepticTank.ORG/ http://www.KeithHenson.ORG/
http://www.SkepticFiles.ORG/ http://www.SlatkinFraud.COM/
http://www.RaulLopez.ORG/ http://www.RonTheNut.ORG/
http://www.BobMinton.ORG/ http://www.CrackPots.ORG/
http://www.ToryMagoo.ORG/ http://www.HolySmoke.ORG/
http://www.Xenu.NET/ http://www.Raids.ORG/ http://www.Nots.ORG/
http://www.MoneyCult.ORG/
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Operation Clambake
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

In article <AriQ7.15959$ER5.268703@rwcrnsc52>, Rev. Magdalen
<magdalen@attbi.com> wrote:

> So, I'm just cruising around on www.xenu.net and I'm readin through an
> article there, and I'm thinking, "Hmm, good article," and then, there at the
> bottom it says "Written by Pope Charles, the SubGenius Pope of Houston,
> Slack!"!! That just about blew my mind! And the Lord tells me that Modemac
> also has stuff up there on that site! Way to go guys! You're like, totally
> famous! And for a good thing, too, not for like, dying while trying to fuck
> a chicken.

So true. The chicken is the one animal that Dobbs does not fuck; for
the chicken, he says, cannot return your love. I too am proud when I
see a fellow Minister's name in lights, whether it be on the marquee or
the lethal injection list. "There's no such thing as no p.r." -- Dobbs.

>
> So then, I'm also reading through there, and there's a thing that says
> Operation Clambake gave $300,000 to the Lisa McPhearson Trust. And I'm
> thinking, "Hey, why don't they give US $300,000 too?? We fight
> Scientology!" And so the Lord goes, "Yeah, but that's not our stated
> purpose." And I go, "We could MAKE it our stated purpose if it means we'll
> get $300,000!!!" And He goes, "Fighting Scientology is very difficult,
> people could get hurt, it could be bad." And I go, "It's THREE HUNDRED
> THOUSAND DOLLARS!" So that's my first money-making scheme of the night --
> convince Operation Clambake that we are a worthy anti-Scientology
> organization deserving of large donations just like the LMT.

I think the Lord is right. The price on Scientology's head is not
nearly big enough. Scientology is a desperado and wouldn't hesitate to
Oswald-Ruby our pie-in-the-sky asses. When they get to be a real
problem to society, the Mafia will probably either put them down or
force assimilation on them. Right now they're just more fly-paper, kook
bait. They don't really infringe on our market base.

Besides -- where the hell would we Dobbs-believing kook bashers be
without people who are kookier than US? Since when did Dobbs say
anything about our having to pester rival cults? We cast out False
Prophets, but that doesn't mean we have to go hunting them down and
denying their followers an idol. That just drags one deep into the
humans' court system labyrinth. Leave that shit to the Xists.

I was listening to these Leary tapes on the job, and decided that he
was still making it too complicated. Forget Turning On and Tuning In;
just Drop Out. Slack, or Food, or Death. We're not asking much.

>
> And while we're on the subject of large donations to non-SubGenius causes,
> where's OUR chunk of the George Harrison millions??? How much did he give
> those wacky Hare Krishnas?? Oh suuuuure, just because they're probably
> going to spend it on food for the hungry, is that any excuse to leave us
> out? Just ONE million would have been ample!! But NOOO, that RIVAL CULT
> got to him first, and we're left out in the cold. This leads me to my
> second money-making scheme of the night -- we must go out and convert
> relatively unknown rock stars while they are under the influence of potent
> hashish. The trick will be to pick out which ones are destined to become
> super-rich and thus leave us lots of money in their wills. (hint -- pick
> ones that PINKS will spend money on, not ones that YOU would buy music from)

That's not the trick; the trick is keeping them alive once they become
rock stars. Bradley Nowell of Sublime was a die-hard, devout SubGenius,
well, at least he loved "Bob" enough to do him shout-outs and put his
face on their first CD, but within a MONTH of ultra-mighty
superstardom, LIKE A SUBNGENIUS, what did he do but OVERDOSE ON DRUGS.
Heroin, I believe. DUH!!!

THIS has been our problem. They keel over right after we get to 'em.
Jimi Hendrix being the perfect example. His escapades with "Bob" are
legendary. Think if Hendrix had lived; there probably really WOULD be a
Dobbstown Abusement Park in every town. But NO, like a SUBGENIUS,
Hendrix had to go and fuck up.

Marilyn Monroe -- same exact thing. "Bob" has made her forget about the
Kennedys -- actually I guess it was Connie more than "Bob" -- but right
about the same time she's dropping the Con boys for Slack, she also
decides to drop one or 10 damn-it-alls too many. "Always better than
not enough," ha h, real funny, "BOB"!!

Tonight I will post to a.b.s. a music video for the SubGenius-aligned,
promising, not-too-weird-to-make-it band, INDIAN ROPE BURN. Yeah, they
WOULD have made it -- if Rev. Clay Animation hadn't had his brain's
health Ruptured. He died of a very fast growing tumor. GOD DAMN IT!!
FUCK God and his "death" thing. Oh, I understand, it's necessary, or
the planet would be choked with plankton in minutes, and piled with
McDonalds wrappers up to the moon in a month. But still, FUCK IT.

Oh, sorry, we were looking for ways to make money and recruit rock
stars. Well, Magdalen, the thing is, many rock stars already carry
Dobbsheads on their drumsets and so forth. Probably the minute they
started getting LOUD about Dobbs, and praising his name, that would
trigger their career to suddenly slide. You know how the Luck of Dobbs
is. He gets ALL of it. The rock star would suddenly be OUT of luck.
Mark Mothersbaugh has talked at length about just how incredibly much
Dobbs TOOK from Devo. Literally piled all their belongings in his
driveway and laughed while they watched it all burn. THEY didn't think
it was funny, but by then he owned everything.

So you see, it's almost like trying to recruit drummers to Spinal Tap.

David Byrne, there's another rock star that tried to work Dobbs in.
That movie TRUE STORIES -- he tried to put me, Puzzling Evidence and
David Meyer to work for that one scene in that, and look what happened
in the end. The DVD of True Stories is in the $10 bin at Target. It's
the smoke ring of death I tell you.

That's why I think the SubGenius movie stars and rock stars keep their
mouths shut.

One True SubGenius movie star I know of is that kid in Richard
Linklater's movies, Wiley Wiggins (the freshman in Dazed and Confused).
And he isn't that much of a movie star. He was in Teen beat once and
got "Bob" mentioned. Movie DIRECTORS, those we have. Jonathan Demme,
Michael Tolkin, Richard Linklater are $30 ministers. Rev. Larry Sulkis
is now working with John carpenter (they co-wrote Ghosts of Mars) so
maybe soon we'll get JohnCarpenter's $30. The Bolex Brothers team in
England -- the bizarro animators who did THE NEW ADVENTURES OF TOM
THUMB. They have been Good SubGenii.

I just remembered, Nickie said that Bruce Campbell of Evil Dead fame
joined the Church under an assumed name. And Rev. Paul Reubens, of
course.

I wonder if they've given him his shit back yet.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 140306, Dallas, TX 75214
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Operation Clambake
From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@attbi.com>

"Modemac" <modemac@modemac.com> wrote in message
news:guv31usrlcisot8evlhokat1r6398v15vt@4ax.com...
>
> Other SubGenii in the online war include David Gerard, one of the most
> prominent critics in Australia. Dave Bird in England, who still
> protests against them today. Keith Henson, the man whose life has
> practically been destroyed by Scientology (he was forced to flee to
> Canada, where he is currently applying for political asylum), has
> mentioned us and used us as an example in his court case. And when
> Arnie Lerma's home was raided by Scientology, he was left with his
> home in a shambles. One of the first people to visit him after the
> raid announced that he was a friend of J.R. "Bob" Dobbs, and when he
> heard that Arnie knew that he was a friend and not another spy from
> the Sons of Elron.
>
> All of this is true, and I am not exaggerating.

These people should move to Texas, not Canada. If Scientologists raid your
home here, you can shoot them. That'd put some sand in their clamshell!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Operation Clambake
From: fun@thingy.apana.org.au (David Gerard)

On Sat, 08 Dec 2001 16:50:07 -0500,
Rev. Ivan Stang <stang@subgenius.com> wrote:

:Besides -- where the hell would we Dobbs-believing kook bashers be
:without people who are kookier than US? Since when did Dobbs say
:anything about our having to pester rival cults? We cast out False
:Prophets, but that doesn't mean we have to go hunting them down and
:denying their followers an idol. That just drags one deep into the
:humans' court system labyrinth. Leave that shit to the Xists.

http://www.suburbia.net/~fun/scn/fun/50subs.html

--
http://thingy.apana.org.au/~fun/ http://www.rocknerd.org/
It's nice being under doctor's orders to go out, drink like a fish and chat up
sxxy deth chyx. Well. He didn't put it *exactly* like that.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Operation Clambake
From: Geoff Bronner <geoff.bronner@dartmouth.edu>

Ok, so clearly none of those anti-Scientology reports being filed with
the main office in Dallas are getting read. Another massive
intelligence failure!

-G

--
<http://www.dartmouth.edu/~geoffb/>
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Operation Clambake
From: alleykatzen@hotmail.com (Alliekatt P.Pstensch McPogmahone)

"Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@attbi.com> wrote in message news:<zxwQ7.17958$L51.40297@rwcrnsc54>...

> These people should move to Texas, not Canada. If Scientologists raid your
> home here, you can shoot them. That'd put some sand in their clamshell!

Yeah, same pretty much goes in Louisiana. Too bad they lump pagan and
Scientologist in the same basket though.

I don't see how shooting to kill an armed and dangerous home invader
could possibly get a homeowner a conviction. It doesn't here in PA.

I heard a cop himself say that if you shoot a home invader, shoot to
kill, in order to keep said invader from filing charges. The worst
that would come of it, is a wrongful death suit, but most families of
armed robbers don't even want to acknowledge that being's existence
let alone file a wrongful death suit. Property and land are tough
questions and hard to defend, but the second the home is entered by
force by a non-authority, life and rights on part of the invader are
forfeit in exchange for the homeowner's. Most cops do not even
question obvious open-and-shut cases like that, as long as the invader
was clearly armed.

If I were a cop, I wouldn't. But then, nobody bothers me.

alliekatt


Back to document index

Original file name: Operation Clambake - converted on Thursday, 20 December 2001, 03:25

This page was created using TextToHTML. TextToHTML is a free software for Macintosh and is (c) 1995,1996 by Kris Coppieters