From: "Reverend Sinphaltimus Exmortus" <RevSExmortus@nyc.rr.com>
Date: Sat, 18 Nov 2000 20:34:03 -0500
Organization: First Ever Digital Church of MindSlack X-Priority: 3
OK, well here is my report about our Times Square adventure.
Basically, it was not at all what I had envisioned and expected. I guess that's what I get for expecting anything at all.
Reverend Mannix was going to meet us there at the scheduled 1:00pm but did not show. I guess he found a fountain of slack that he could not get away from.
Anyway, we arrived at 47th st. and Broadway an hour earlier, I scoped the place out for a good spot to set up shop. The best place ended up being right there on the corner next to the train station.
First off, let me say that it is true, the Dobbs head does atract normals. If you put a Dobbs head on it, it will sell. I also figured that in this space age a-go-go technological information super highway to the sky society, it might be best to make a sign that simply read "SUBGENIUS.COM". Well, if not for anything else, that URL alone attracted a lot of attention. It's simple to remember and I'm sure the sight will recieve a lot of hits this weekend.
The fun began as I was setting up. I put out the table, put up the URL and unfolded the Dobbs sign, when I turned around, I had a few normals already picking up pamphlets and reading the material I had taped to the table. I set up a kareoke machine to use as a loud speaker, it worked well but man was it cold. It was too cold.
I had some good conversation with people interested in the mission of slack. But of course none of them would donate money. There was a small group of people who have heard about the church and were obviously out of touch. they seemed very excited to hear that the site is being updated regularly and that the x-ist did not take us away yet, so they still had a chance for salvation. They donated 2 dollars to the cause which accounted for 2/3rds of our total profit. Yes that is correct, we raked in a whopping 3 bux in a jar labeled simply "Save the world! Give your money to Bob!".
As soon as I collected my brain cells and began to speak, I instantly felt the presence of NhGh. It felt as though it mounted itself on the back of my neck and began to have it's way with my right ear, then my left ear. It was very distracting and I found it difficult to rant about anyting. I was cold and people weren't listening or giving me any money. But I went on.
I even had the pleaasure of meeting a self-proclaimed comunist and swapping some pamphlets for a "Stop Bush" pin. I wanted a "Stop Gore" pin also but she didn't have any. Kinda raises the question...is Gore a commie? Anyway, being that the forces of NhGh itself was uppon me, and stopping me form free thought of any kind, I figured it best to just read from the pre-printed church pamphlets. I was also thinking about packing it up an going home, I was very cold ya know. I don't like the cold.
Well, at the very thought of reading "The Brag", NhGh jumped off my neck and onto our table, dropped it's pants and blew a fart that ripped the BOB sign from it's taped cardboard fixture and tossed my pamphlets all over the table. I had to stop and do some repair and reenforcement work. Once that was completed, I think NhGh left me cause I had this great calm come over me and I began to read. i started with the "What the Hell do you thing you're doing" which went over well. I was gathering a crowd. People were laughing and reading the URL aloud. I then went straight into the Brag which was interupted by a phone call. It was the Heretic letting me know that he was not going to make it. I really wasn't expecting him to come but it would have been cool.
So when I hung up the phone, I continued reading the brag. Of course, since I was in a public area, I hadda tione down the language, or so I thought. so I replaced the work Fuck the the word screw and read on...
After that I was pretty much frozen and hadda get the hell outta times square. I just finished sharing this experience with a few friends of mine and soon discovered that we broke a few laws and had luck on our side that we didn't get slammed with a few fines.
For one, if you look at the pictures, we were set up right next to a train station. My friend who happens to be a police officer in NYC told me that there is a specific amount of space you need to be from a subway tain entrance/exit. He didn't know the distance but did say that it was probably like 10 feet or so. And next, we were not allowed to use aplified audio equipment without a permit. He was shocked that we got away with both. I wasn't, for I knew the luck plane was tilting in our favor.
It may not have been as much fun as i thought but that was mainly due to the weather and the fact that an invited guest who said he'd be there didn't show. So all in all it was slackfully a good bad that went without a hitch..
Next time we go will be in the spring time. i want to organize it better and get as many NYC based SubGenii out there with us. My cop buddy told me that if I had used a cardboard megaphone and was "selling" literature, I could say what-ever I want, the "F" word and all, due to the freedom of speech act. And if I was selling literature, I could legally setup next to a subway station.
So the next time we do this, we are going out in full force with the "Stomp Out Bob" mission. Bt then, Bob would have slanted the luck plane a little more for me so I could buy extra memberships and books and things to sell. I should hope that any of you who may be reading this would take up arms and join the mission, just email me to stay in touch... So until next time....
Praise BOB! or Kill me. It's entirely up to you.
Reporting out of F.E.D.C.O.M.S.,
The Reverend Sinphaltimus Exmortus
I would also like to include a special thanks to Lord Sloth who with stood the weather to film me making a complete dumbass of myself on this glorious day... Lord Sloth, Thank You. For with out you, it could not have been done.
To take part in our next expedition, please email me @ <mailto:RevSExmortus@nyc.rr.com>RevSExmortus@nyc.rr.com
Reverend Sinphaltimus Exmortus
First Ever Digital Church of Mind Slack
DigiMind.tripod.com
A Totally Independent Clench of
The Church of the SubGenius
P.O.Box 140306
Dallas, TX 75214
Send $1 and S.A.S.E. for more info
or visit
<http://www.subgenius.com>www.subgenius.com or
email
<mailto:RevSExmortus@nyc.rr.com>RevSExmortus@nyc.rr.com
or die pink
or kill me
"Exterminate all rational thought" W.S.B.
PRABOB
Original file name: Subgenius Video Take one - - converted on Friday, 29 June 2001, 22:33
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