Shit Happen to Make the Flowers Grow. (Was Holioistic Theory: Non-linear Shitology)

From: "Boddhisatva Troutwaxer" <tungtung@pacbell.net>
Newsgroups: alt.slack

In article <20010513115737.20182.00005853@ng-cg1.aol.com>,
oliomyholio@aol.com (OlioMyHolio) wrote:
> According to Holioistic theory of non-linear alternative enema therapy
> there are two types of shit. The good shit and the bad shit. Most shit
> is bad shit. That's my theory. There is some good shit around, but it's
> expensive and hard to find outside of BC and NL. Then there is the bad
> shit that has nothing in common with the good shit. We're full of bad
> shit. The shit we're packed full of isn't even a little bit good. We
> have to get rid of all the bad shit -- it is our mission in life. I
> will teach you all about shit and how to get rid of it. You might think
> you know enough about shit, but you really don't know shit at all. For
> instance, when was the last time you had a 76 year old apply a good
> non-linear holioistic deshitting to your bowels? We are all full of
> shit. That's my theory. Bad, evil, stinking, compacted shit. And it's
> not even good shit, it's bad shit.
>
> -- Dr. Holio

Today my daughter and I were talking about fertilizer, because we're
planting a garden. "What is fertilizer made of?" she asked.
"Poop." I told her.
"Yuck!!"
"What did you think dirt was, anyway," I asked. "It's just sand, rocks,
and years and
years of poop."
"Gross!!"
"But if there wasn't poop," I told her, "nothing would grow."
"I see!!" she said, "If there wasn't poop, there wouldn't be anything!!"
"That's right," I said, "and if there wasn't anything, there would be no
"Bob.""
"Oh no!!" she replied.
"That's right, and if there was no "Bob," there would be no slack!!"
"Daddy!!" she protested. Sometimes "Bob's" funny, sometimes he's not.
"And if there was no "Bob"", I continued, heedless of my tortured
family's protests, "there would be no slack. That's why we shit - so
there will be slack!!"

T.


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Original file name: Shit Happen to Make the Flowers - converted on Friday, 29 June 2001, 22:33

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