*hmmm, well, it looks like it's been, um, 2 years since this got put up
last. so, um, maybe i should just date the versions instead of numbering
them.
anyways, here it is again, with more crap added to the bottom as i go through
it.
or not.
someone else please do this so i don't do it.
please.
pretty PRETTY please.
alt.slack.brat.pack.faq v1a
Date: 6 Aug 1998 02:36:13 GMT
1) What is alt.slack all about, anyway?
well, see, um, it's a newsgroup. which is part of usenet. which is part of
the Internet. which is my hobby. it's good to have hobbies.
2) um, i asked what alt.slack was, and all i got was some gobbledy-gook,
"i'm so cool cuz i'm on the inside", "you are a stupid newbie and we will
continue to mock you until we become bored", "try alt.discordia", "Try
alt.flame", we wish you were dead, won't you ever learn to configure your
newsreader the right way so you attribute correctly and while your at it
you suck..
so?
3) can i post to alt.slack without being called various names?
no.
seriously, you can't. it's usenet, get over it. we know you have an ego
problem, or else you wouldn't be posting so that 30k+ odd people can see
your thoughts. the question is: is your ego fragile, or ALL- ENCOMPASSING?
if it's fragile, go away. seriously. not for OUR good, but for YOUR
good. we'll make you cry. sure, we'll SAY you annoy us, but in reality,
all you do is provide us petty amusement. on the other hand, if you have a
LARGE ego, then take the ball and run with it little timmy. it's not like
it hasn't happened before.
4) who is in charge of alt.slack?
your news admin. sheit is responsible for the filters on incoming and
outgoing messages from your site. noone who posts to alt.slack can stop
you.[B1] go wild. of course, you run the risk of looking like a complete fool.
that's right, call iceknife a pimp for stang. do it. go on. it's not like
anyone is going to be able to say "no, you can't do that." since, well, you
might have just done that.
5) what is slack?
someone once said "ask 4 people what slack is, and you'll get varying
responses" or sumthing. i don't know who said it, or what they said, but in
a nutshell, that's it. i know it's somehting that comes from inside. and
that you need to give money to someone to put their kids through college,
but, i dunno, read Pastor Craig's FAQ, i'm pretty sure he has some good
stuff in it, but i can never get past the first 80 pages to see.
6) are you going to have any of those faq entries like "there is no number
X"?
no, those were amusing the first N times i saw them.
7) People really seem to hate each other here.
Well, ya. they prolly do. but then again, trolling is usenet's number one
pasttime. if someone calls someone else a really nasty name, don't jump in
and start defending either party, unless you have a nifty new spelling
flame. see, some people here actually express how much they really LIKE
someone else by attempting to flame them. and of course, sometimes they are
just trying to flame them becaseu they REALLy don't like them, and
sometimes the person doing the flaming isn't even flaming anyone in
particular and is just ranting. it's alot like grade school. the boy may
have spit in the girls hair because he really likes her, he really doens't
like her, or becasue he had a mouth full of chaw and was about to swallow.
8) wassa rant?
ok. um, er, um, ya know when something REALLY pisses you? REALLY REALLY
gets your goat? and you HAVE to tell someone about it, or YOU WILL EXPLODE?
well, that's, um, a rant. kind of. it's also something that the people
who do the church thing for a living call what they write when they get
paid. or sumthing. um, a rant is like slack. hell, everything is like
slack. what is slack? goto 5.
9) ok, i narrowly avoided your not so subtle infinite loop. HA! now, i'm a
real big haquer, and want to upload a 50 MB binary of my ass, and i'm not
really asking, cuz i'm a kewl haquer, no, you are actually writeing this
not-question solely so you can answer it preemptively.
SPUTUM
10) wassa sputum? are you trying to tie into your really ugly spitting
analogy from question 7?
no, no spit. SPUTUM stands for something, but, well, AUA and all that.
it's, um, like a subgenius-internet-jacker-bigbrother-Conspiracy-Anti
conspiracy thingey.
or sumthing. they have a web page. they do not appreciate binaries in their
non-binary groups. there is an alt.binary.slack with a REAL faq. read it.
or sumthin. [B4]
11) people use all these clique-ish sounding words, like frop, and lotsa
stuff i can't spell. what do they mean? how do i get on the inside?
well, this newsgroup is frequented by a lot of members of a church. like
all churches, this one has super-sekret-cool words, that you need to pay
people to learn. you can buy these books, borrow them, check them out if a)
you have a cool library and b) some jerk hasn't stolen them, or goto the
subgenius web page. you can also send money to them and they will send you
back some info. also, you can become an ordained minister for, um, 30
dollars. i think. you can also ordain other people. i'm pretty sure. this
is a pretty lame faq, and harbors no serious answers as of now. until then,
um, deal.
12) x-day? saucers? sex goddesses? oh my! (hehe, get it? like wizard of
oz?) {and you wonder why you have been flamed and called a lame newbie}
yes. religion stuff. if you find it interesting, buy the books. they
definitely fail to suck. they are: amusing; have LOTS of RILLY
nifty-keen-cool pictures. not just black and white, but, um, that word for
really good quality art; have a lot of hidden truth to them; and tell you
when they are going to insult you, most unlike every other major/minor
brainwashing organization. x-day, incidentally, is the end of the world as
we know it. which, if you have been paying attention in theses rapidly
changing times, is everyday.
13) who is everybody?
damned if i know. i'm noone. stang posts occasionally, and a lot of the
"church hierarchy". but then, this is usenet, and everybody is a minor
celebrity here, so who CARES who they are? chances are if i KNEW who they
are, i wouldn't tell you, and if i did tell you, the chances are REALLY
good that they would track me down and hurt ME! that would be a bad thing.
a very bad thing.
anyway, real names don't mean anything anyway. would you read someone's
posts differently if you knew there middle name was willow dance? yes, and
THAT is why they are using nicks.
also, read deja news, read some of the alt.slack archives on the subg web
site (IF you can FIND THEM DAMMIT! my PERSONAL opinnion is that subsite is
actually the CotSG's online parable of the internet's s/n ration. anyway),
or lurk for awhile. someone once posted some numbers that there were a lot
of lurkers, join them.
or don't.
14) ok, i HAVE been lurking, and i have something REALLY COOL/LAME to post,
but i'm afraid i'll look like a fool.
oh no, poor baby. look like a fool? too bad. regardless of WHAT you post,
someone will love it, and someone will hate it. generally, you will see
the flames, and not hear the praise (or so i keep telling myself). that's
how it is.
either post,
or don't.
the choice is YOURS. do NOT allow someone ELSE to make that choice FOR
YOU!!! that's what THEY want you to do.
15) so and so is REALLY offensive, and won;t go away.
so? Killfile them or Kill them. and i'd REALLY suggest the former, since
many of the seemingly calm personalities in this group are READY TO SNAP in
an instance. now, let's say ANNNNA, for whatever reason, bothered you. and
you think, hey, she's a girl, i could take her.
well, think again. she's a girl? why do you say that? becasue SHE says so?
HA! annnna is ACTUALLY a vietnam vet whose ONLY way to NOT snap is to let
one of the multiple personalities out to talk. now, the therapist keeps
"her" under house arest, so the only way to get out and communicate, is
through the internet. nuff said.
seriously, if you don't like it, don;t read it. if someone offended you
once, ignore them from then on. or, don't.
addendums:
A1) some posters seem to be saying that everyone sucks. What's up with
that?
crack.
A2) seriously, some people post really dumbass shit, and basically yell and
scream how everyone else has problems, or how they suck. i mean, isn't that
hypocritical? what are they doing?
crack.
A3) what the hell are you talking about? are you taking drugs?
crack.
A4) above, you mentioned pastor craig's faq as being a good place to find
out more about this newsgroup. i've been trying to find it, since your faq
sucks. where is it?
i don't know. pastor craig went away.
A5) where did he go?
he changed his nume de pleur and can be found in subgenius irc.
occassionally.
if your, um,
lucky.
A6) subgenius irc?
yes.[B5]
A7) i really want to become a member of the church hierchy. how can i do
that? should i post a lot of stuff about bob?
first,
learn how to spell it.
second,
sure. post all you want to about bob. he likes that. a lot.
really.
seriously,
i am NOT being sarcastic. the church definitely needs more of that stuff.
knock yourself out.
it's all about slack,
baybee.
A8) where have all the oldbies gone?
you made them go away.
A9) i don't see why people can tell me that my posts aren't slackful. i
mean, GEE, it brought ME slack, so it IS slackful, right?
no.
you are wrong.
you always were wrong.
you always will be wrong.
die.
A10) where do you get off?
maybe that brought me slack.
A11) oh. so by being mean and bitchy, and stealing my slack, others will be
more slackful?
if someone was able to steal your slack, then you don't get it yet.
A12) is everyone full of shit?
yes.
A13)
[B7]
B1) um, i tried to post to alt.slack and someone who posts to alt.slack managed
to stop me somehow you big lieing sack of shit.
that's not a question. anyways, so i was wrong. fuck off.
B2) this faq's formatting and spelling sucks, what gives? are you even trying?
what's your point, and no, respectively. if you don't like it, you have several
options.
B3) what options?
if you can't come up with your own options, then, well, FOAD.
B4) i can't find SPUTUM's website!!
here, let me help you before you hurt yourself or someone else:
http://www.sputum.com
B5) i would like to know more of this subgenius irc of which you spoke
of back when you were on crack. you are off the crack, right?
um.
so, about this subgenius irc thing.
do NOT ask what scripts people are running.
irc.fef.net
#subgenius
sunday evenings/nights/monday mornings depending.
the THEM are usually there from, oh, about 8PM eastern-ish to, um, about
whenever they get off.
B6) will there ever be a subg irc related faq? cuz, i don't know what any of that
shit means.
i dunno. there was a plan, once, a long time ago, to put up a somewhat
helpful and informative web page on howto get up and running
with the least amount of damage for everyone concerned.
B7) why was there nothing in A13? did the post get all garbled or something??
i dunno.
--
excuse, justification, reason. these are not the same.
"stop talking to yourself.
you don't like you any better
than anyone else who knows you."
-ICEKNIFE
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