Sterno's Deals of a Lifetime!
From: Sternodox <glatter@delphi.com>
Arnold Palmer in MONDO SEX CHANGE
VHS & BetaScam 143 min.
Poignant pud puddle pix.
Animated. 3-D.
"Our whole school just loved it." - Simba Grul
(4th grade teacher, Our Lady of Sorry Jose Empathy School,
Las Vegas, Tennessee)
Write: Sneed Pate Recipe
1812 NapInRus
Frozen Stretch, Siberia, FSU, 00000
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Home Degrees Available
Home Degrees in Wraith Sculpting, Tongue-Fan Pressure
Grouting, Savior Glue Engineering, Norm Baiting/Hating,
and Soul Fry Grouper Nod Technician
(Grades 4-9, Spectre-Code Approved)
General Remedial School of Arbitrary Duplicity
Founded 1821
"We ground round the clock at GRSAD" 777-77777-77
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Nina Hagen/Karen Carpenter Comparitive Essay Contest
Win a chance to bend reality to YOUR rules.
66,000-word entries won't even be considered;
add 333 twice-but-nice and you're in like sin.
Send all entries to: Harold Out-Back-When-It's-Warm-Enough
Container #24, Sanitary Recepticle Blvd., LACA99999
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Oops!!!
We Goofed Again!!!
Sorry about that.
Your sister should be OK around September.
Y'asshole.
Send No Money!
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DIPSHITS ON THE 'NET!!!
Ever 'Surfed the Internet?'
What A Bunch of Dipshits, Inc. will plug you in
and translate your code into Finnish!
We are the only company offering this service at this time!
Other services:
Formulas Reconsidered, Tactical Spawn Maneuvering,
Red Dye Enima/Hapless Bystander-Spraying Techniques,
E-Retching, Fart/Dog Explosion Parties
Check Out VIRUS "X" BBS
"Your PC's last few minutes will be its BEST!!!"
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Binny - R.I.P
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WANDA SNUFFED!
Sorry boys, but it's true.
The end of an enigma.
Meyerian Po-Bucker bites the big ones.
All 60 of 'em.
AND IT KILLED HER, TOO!!!
This valuable morality lesson available on video-tape for
Sunday School Classes and Civic Clubs.
Recommended by the PTA.
Sven Hrrkinherbung
4 Wheel Drive
Benton, Arkansas, 7136626165
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Southern Extensions, Inc.
The best in reptilian penile implants.
Positive Results GUARANTEED
Give her the "Scaly Member" and she'll be yours FOREVER!
Specials EVERY DAY on alligator, skink, and cayman schlongs.
888 Avenue of the Severed Tongue
Blisterville, Idaho
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KNIGHTED BY THE QUEEN
Dub-Pack Specials - ca.
1854 Cleavage, breastbones, hankies and squid
Impress Your Friends
Get Laid!!!
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Milkin' Sizemore Ambience
Can it be? You Bet It Can!!!
Fortunately, the test will be whether she can drain a
po-buck main in Spain on the Pain Train.
Your 50 cent contribution could save a young girl's most
cherished glands.
Info:
SPUM@JIZZ.JIZZ.JIZZ
Snail: SlimeCo. 44
Rackbone Blvd. Austin, TX - 8
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Travel In A Split-Clock Stag Romp!
If you think SHE'S THE ONE, have we got something to sell YOU!
Imagine about half-age/half-price, by
the teen-dozen in a private, naphthene-lined boxcar! WOW!!!
UndiestylechoiceChurch
8 Reynoso Rd.
Stinkingpileofshit, Mexico 10000
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Afraid of the New Style Methods?
Don't be! THEY'RE ALL FUCKED!!
(Except that one. But we're workin' on it, heh heh)
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Prost Bitte!
Another clue for you.
"Slark yer thark wi' a Quark, Mark"
Write: Little Jimmy J.
Paris/London/Belfast Express
Every Monday-Wednesday at 3:00 p.m.
"DOIN' VOON POON, SPOONYMAN"
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Shit-Tick
In Less Than A Week!
Complete instructions/tips and tricks from the pros!
The secret of the cacti revealed!
Crypts-approved for OSHA and FDA
Washington D.C. on the Thames
4 Guppybred in a Wall
Ginger&Censor, England, 23924
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ORACLE or MADMAN?
Gaberdeen Squalor or Pristine Lubricant?
Map of Nebraska burned into a piece of bologna
with a soldering iron or
confection of your choice saturated with liquid wrench?
First Night FREE!
Bring the Kids!
Dead Song Inne of the Balkans, Inc. 16661
Honeymud River, BoulderOpal, NV 56 - 78 - 65 -
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WE PEE! Interested? Call 501-66n-5nn0
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Sample Question:
"If you have 12 prairie squids and Johnny fucks all 12 of them,
how many prairie squids are left for you to fuck?"
This is just one of the thousands of questions we will be happy
to ask your friends or loved ones.
We'll even ask these questions in church!
Low, low monthly debasements!
THE BAD BONE
9 Avenue of the Dicks
Beaumont, Ill. 45454
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Still Groppin' a Groove-Go on Some Kind of Logo Band
after all these years?
NICHT!! Doktors for "Bob" - the new CD,
"Dead Because We Wanna Be" Out in November.
Available FM/PM-888
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First Prize - A Bucket of Pills!
Second Prize - A Butt-Split Moonie
1-800-$$$-6868
An equal opportunity massacre
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"You'd best start bird-doggin' that shit,
or I'm gonna hafta take it away from you!"
And other obscure Southern Colloquialisms.
$99.00.
Autographed by Smith AND Jones!!!
Acid Pool Press Q 1994
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Simon sez: "KILL PINKS" (heh, heh, heh, just kiddin')
NOT REALLY!!!!!!!! Do it now. We'll show you how!
$45/bring your own futon and a sack lunch.
Meet us down there @ 61 ech., 9 B.X.
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Face-Fucking Bat Sperm Antidote Pudding Cook-Off!
On the river, or on the beat - you can't find opportunities
like this every day.
Get a grip, let 'er rip and take a sip!
We supply all gastric pumps, logging chains, syringes
and head-clamps.
Thru Jan. 15, 1998
Call 1-022-OZONE
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Arkansas' Finest!
"Whites Only" Razorpit!!
Push Bubba and Junior Bob right over the edge.
No civil penalties in most counties.
CountyLawApproved 1990 "Git It! Yeeeehaw!!!"
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Need Frop Bad!!!
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