On 22 Mar 1995, Black Olive Jesus wrote:
> Right here in Church Pamphlet #1, at the end, just befor the
> Catalog of the Gods, there's a statement of faith -- a doxology
> if you will -- that begins "WE THE SUBGENIUSES OF THE POST-HUMAN
> RACE, in order to preserve life on this planet from immanent
> destructuction, reestablish intelligence, regain Slack, cast out
> False Prophets, smother forever the fear of fear itself, recieve
> the questionable gifts of the Beforelife and of the Space Dwellers,
> become as Overmen, unmask the Conspiracy, grip the reigns of
> human evolution, control reproduction and mutation, decipher the
> Code, placate the Stark Fist of Removal, achieve Time Control,
> see That Which Must Come To Pass, become as gods, find the Twins
> with the Scissors of Sight, avert the Rupture of the Equilibrium,
> and secure the financial blessings of Jehovah 1 the God of Wrath
> for ourselves and our descendents, do hereby admit ourselves as
> such and thus ordain this Advertisement of the SubGenius Race of
> Earth." etc, etc, etc. It rambles on page after page in a like
> manner...
>
> So WHAT are the SCISSORS OF SIGHT???
The Scissors of Sight can be found in "Bob's" junk drawer, alongside the
Bent Spoon of Hearing, the Light Bulb of Thought, and the Frayed Piece of
String of SexHurt.
IrRev Finagle.
-<*>--<*>--<*>--<*>--<*>--<*>--<*>--<*>--<*>--<*>--<*>--<*>--<*>--<*>--<*>-
E.M. Connor Durflinger ______ "The mirror collapses,
263 Washington #10 \ __/___ the image may not."
Binghamton, NY 13901 \ \ / --Ministry
(607)-722-5299 \/\ / "The perversity of the
bc05319@bingsuns.cc.binghamton.edu \/ universe tends towards
Philosophy, Interpretation, and Culture a maximum."
Binghamton University --Finagle's Law
-<*>--<*>--<*>--<*>--<*>--<*>--<*>--<*>--<*>--<*>--<*>--<*>--<*>--<*>--<*>-
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From: ljduchez@en.com (Lou Duchez)
Subject: Re: What are the Scissors of Sight?
In article <ricky-2203951010330001@mac150.sfa.ufl.edu>,
ricky@nerix.nerdc.ufl.edu (Black Olive Jesus) wrote:
>
> So WHAT are the SCISSORS OF SIGHT???
Onan Canobite once did a write-up of 'em in a "Stark Fist". Not much
he was allowed to say, other than they're an Atlantean artifact.
Myself, I wonder if ya couldn't do a bitchin' trepanation with them.
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From: kaiv@aol.com (Kaiv)
You are obviously and anti-Bob, to use direct quotes from canon.
Repent, conspirator. Actually, it's too late.
kaiv @ aol.com
Illigitimi non-carbarendum est!!!
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From: TarlaStar <bmyers@ionet.net>
The Grand Clavister writes:
> Cripes, Maan, don't remind me about "Bob's" Junk Drawer.
One-fourth of the whole Reason that I'm collecting keys from
everyone is that I fully expect, someday, that someone will
inadvertantly send me one of the keys that floats around in
"Bob's" Junk Drawer. Perhaps it will be the Key of Plenty,
perhaps the Key of Peace; perhaps the Key of Passage, perhaps
> the Key of Power.
>
> Don't forget... you ALL have junk drawers, and they ALL contain
>keys you> don't REEEEALY expect to ever find a USE for. Well,
>now you HAVE a use for them...
I have a strange little key here I may send you...I think it just
may be the one that unlocks "Connie's" chastity belt...it gets
warm everytime I hold it. My Yeti-mate once put it in his
mouth...I never saw anyone dance like that! Wasn't it "Bob" who
said while fumbling for the keyhole, "Put a little hair around
it, and maybe I can find it."
--
Rev. Mutha Tarla, Little Sisters of the Perpetually Juicy;
a Proud Jism Schizm of the Church of the SubGenius, Worshipping
"Connie" Dobbs and Juicy Retardo since 1986
http://www.ionet.net/~bmyers/homepage.html
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