Yesterday I went to my youngest son's band concert. He plays the
tuba. I walked into the auditorium and found a seat, then looked
around. My husband was off getting his hair cut, and I wasn't sure if
he was going to make it in time, so I just sat and people watched.
It was incredibly sad. The room was filled with parents, grandparents,
and other children. They all looked like cookie cutter people. The
same haircuts over and over...the same decorated sweatshirts, or
current sale item at Target...the same dull look of "doing what's
right for the kids." I hated them all. In a room full of about 500
people, I saw two faces that looked alive, two people who looked like
they were thinking their own thoughts instead of humming the theme
song from "Cheers" in their heads on some endless loop which is only
briefly interrupted by the exigencies of getting supper on the table
and watching the next stirring episode of "COPS." They were all
deadly boring, "Grownups." The people I avoided as a child because
they were all self-righteous or stupid or both. I wish I knew when
I'd grow up..I'd kill myself just before it happened. Most of the
time I feel like a really experienced 25 year old. The mirror is just
fucking with my head...
On the other hand, the kids in the band were pretty damned good. I was
impressed at the ability of the band directors to get that much
musicianship out of a group of raw 7th graders.
It frightens me to go to malls or other places where large amounts of
people congregate. I'm always afraid I'll start laughing
uncontrollably or screaming at the top of my lungs, "DON'T YOU PEOPLE
GET IT?" and start singing "Little Boxes" until they cart me off to
some quiet place where I can rest for awhile.
I get furious with people who have NO OPINION. How do they justify
their existence? How do you live a life without an opinion? What they
REALLY have is NO BALLS. They're so fucking afraid that someone will
make a judgement about them that is negative...so frightened at the
OPINION of others who have NO OPINIONS that they willingly hand over
their testicles or the female equivalent (though I must admit that
those who share my sex are the WORST about not having opinions, so
maybe there should be something greater than testicles that they hand
over). Sheep sheep and more sheep; everyone follows right into the
slaughterhouse. The worst part about the whole sham is that if you
actually DO have opinions and you express them, you are considered
ARROGANT. How DARE you think that YOU, you worthless cog in the
machine..how DARE you think that you should be heard, that you are
worthy of anyone's attention, that you THINK you might have an answer?
What happens to make these people the way they are? I grew up in such
a strange household that I have no idea what it's like to fit into an
Annette Funnicello world. What makes people want to be like other
people so much that they never develop their own tastes, their own
ideas about what is right, their own...style? For me, the worst thing
you can do is say..."You remind me of..." I HATE that. I don't remind
ANYONE of ANYONE unless it's just that the person I SEEM to remind you
of was probably pretty...well...different from most of your friends.
It can't be television. I watched enough television growing up to be
pretty deadly at "Trivial Pursuit." It can't be stable parents. I
know several individuals (including my spouse) who have had "Beaver
Cleaver" families and STILL grew up to be unique individuals with
strong opinions. So what is it? What makes them seek the security of
being just like everyone else? Fear? I'm afraid all the time, but I
do it anyway. I stick myself in situations where I am terrified, and
force myself to follow through. I make public statements which will
cause me humiliation if I fail to perform. It's the only way I can
force myself to work. WHY THEN?
I have a few questions for the SubGenii. Was your family "normal" or
did it have "a Fellini-esque/ Cirque du Soleil" feel to it? When did
you realize that you were "different?" Is it just me, or all SubG's
vaguely misanthropic? How do you keep your head from exploding?
thanks, and PRABOB!
the rather testy,
--
Reverend Mutha Tarla, Little Sisters of the Perpetually Juicy,
A Proud Jism Schism of the Church of the SubGenius, Worshipping
"Connie" Dobbs and Juicy Retardo since 1986
http://www.ionet.net/~bmyers/homepage.html
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: pkitty@netcom.com (Purple Kitty)
Subject: Re: Pervasive Pinkness and the Creation of SubGenii
TarlaStar (bmyers@ionet.net) wrote:
: I get furious with people who have NO OPINION. How do they justify
: their existence? How do you live a life without an opinion? What they
: REALLY have is NO BALLS. They're so fucking afraid that someone will
: make a judgement about them that is negative...so frightened at the
: OPINION of others who have NO OPINIONS that they willingly hand over
: their testicles or the female equivalent (though I must admit that
: those who share my sex are the WORST about not having opinions, so
: maybe there should be something greater than testicles that they hand
: over). Sheep sheep and more sheep; everyone follows right into the
Ovaries come to mind, but in this kulture, breasts would probably be more
appropriate (I always thought that if all the males' breasts just swelled
up to female proportions overnight, pinkulture as we know it would
collapse into the ground...suddenly, the one thing (in most Pinks'
minds) separating males and females is no longer there. I truly think
that 80% of the population would collapse into shivering, stinky messes).
: I have a few questions for the SubGenii. Was your family "normal" or
: did it have "a Fellini-esque/ Cirque du Soleil" feel to it? When did
: you realize that you were "different?" Is it just me, or all SubG's
: vaguely misanthropic? How do you keep your head from exploding?
: thanks, and PRABOB!
Well, the easy answer to your ponderings is that it's nothing more than
genetic. Certain kids happen to be born Yetinsyn, and the others are
doomed to a life of mediocretinocrity. If we dare to take the less-than-
easy way...
I can't say that family has ANYTHING to do with it...I've known Subs
who've come from alkaholic/spouse-beating families, from single-parent-
who-audibly-blames-the-kids-for-their-life families, and from Leave it to
Beaver families (the BIGGEST dysfunction of them all). Personally? My
family was/is single-parent, lower-middle class, somewhat dysfunctional,
but not documentary-class. *I* have always had my own 'quirks' and
problems. I'd go into the biggest ones, but I'm saving 'em for the big
autobiography. :-) Basically, I think the reason I "turned out" the way
I did *IS* because of who/what I am, and not much else. By the Con's
tests, I've always been 'intelligent' (I think of myself as smart, but
not that savvy...for example, I've gotten REALLY good at work at doing a
lot of work without anyone knowing that I've done it; that way, lots gets
done, but I don't get the credit for it. Intelligent? Kinda. Good common
sense? Probably not. But that's how I am.), and I think there is
something to that...the earlier one can understand what they see, the
earlier one can understand what's GOING ON, and I think that's what the
key factor is:
A healthy combination of naivety, common sense, intelligence (not
necessarily Pink-valued intelligence), and ego. The naivety is important,
especially early on (I think it IS important later on, too)...I mean the
ability not to just accept certain things, but to ask "Why?".
"If you go outside without clothes on, you'll go to jail."
"Why?"
"Because it's illegal!"
"Why?"
"Well I *THINK* it's kind of OBVIOUS!"
"Um...no, not to me. Why?"
Common sense...hell, I think the Books explain that one. A certain
intuitive grasp of the world...everyone has it, just not to the same
degree. Intelligence is important, too. A little bit of raw brain power
helps you fathom the twists and turns that Pink society takes, if you
need to navigate it. But it's definitely the least important on my list.
Ego usually comes later...after we've been beaten into the ground
(emotionally or physically) throughout school...after we've put up with
family counselors telling us that we need to do such-and-such to "fit
in". Ego is what finally kicks in when you realize who you ARE, and kicks
in one more time when you realize that it's OKAY to be who you are. (It
kicks in a third time for a lot of us when we realize that it's BETTER to
be who WE are than it is to be who MOST people are...The Natural
Superiority of the SubGenius.) For the record, mine kicked in at 15 and
20 (and 20).
Gee...i should write a documentary. :-) Oh, to get back to your other
questions (I think the above answered whether I think Subs are
misanthropic), I keep my head from exploding by sheer ego. Every time I
see a Pink doing a Pink thing and it just overwhelms me how Pink they
are, I don't let it get to me...I flick the thought with a mental finger
as it enters my head so it gets sent down the Ego channel...and all I can
think is, "Man...I am SO MUCH better off than you are." And that makes me
feel good, and I don't get upset! :-) That stops me from getting TOO
frustrated...kinda my own way of pulling the wool over my eyes so I don't
have to LOOK at them. When I'm trying to talk to them or make a point...
yeah, that can be hard. If I'm being dead serious but they just AREN'T
taking me seriously, or I'm trying to talk to them and they have their
nose in the air (mentally) and don't think what I'm saying is important,
then I just want to rip their goddam heads off and shit down their necks!
But we all have ways of releasing that tension...I'm currently trying to
build a Frankensquid out of other animal parts...if it works, no more
tension anymore! :-)
Reverend Pee Kitty
--
Meow!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: clavis@ix.netcom.com (John P. Olinyk)
In my case,
1. My family was and is (what's left of it) weird. Not very, openly,
scary-weird, just unique in the way that EVERYONE SHOULD be. Our dog,
the late, lamented Duke, was weird. Mom is weird: she's an artist who's
living with hummingbirds and wall-lizards in AZ and has gone back to
college. My brother (known on the Inderned as "Fur-On-Paper") takes
commissions for funny-animal artwork. My dad (the late, lamented dad)
was... well, actually, he was pretty normal. I mean that in a GOOD way:
he provided quite a bit of positive "horse sense" and fatherly homilies
that everyone needs a TAD of. So, all in all, there was CERTAINLY enough
oddball antics in the household to keep me well-phed.
2. I realized I was different... good question. It happened, I think, in
spurts. I remember sitting in K-grade. The teacher had an alphabet book
open to the "D" page. It was a color drawing of a dog show, and we were
encouraged to yell out things we saw that began with the letter "D".
Other kids yelled out "dog" and "desk"; I offered "Dalmation" and
"Daschund".
Other occurences include correcting a teachers' spelling of a
word. ACTUALLY, that was a pretty anti-CON-moment in my up-bringing. I
spelled the word "Lightning" correctly; the foolish mortal teacher
insisted it was spelled "lightening" (as in the illumination of
something! Ironic, no?). I tried to stick to my guns -- after all, I
spelled it correctly in the FIRST place, didn't I? I brought it home,
and my mother, supporting me, had us look it up in the dictionary
TOGETHER! I WAS RIGHT!! I brought it in the next day and told the crunt
teacher of HER mistake!! AHOO!! FIGHT THE AUTHORITY!!
OTHER other occurrences include getting the shit beat out of me
by cruel assholes for 3 years in JHS, writing the entire April Fools'
issue of the HS newspaper (I was editor-in-chief, after all), as well as
being ASKED to be on the Academic Olympics team and being a total "fun
asshole type" during competitions.
The list goes on and on, but somewhere in early HS, when I tried
to convince classmates (in the bleachers during Gym) that I was actually
an alien observer, I probably turned my back on Normality for good.
3. MIS-anthropic? Dic defines it as: "Hating or distrusting mankind".
Yer goddamn RIGHT I'm misanthropic! I knows a few people who have been
sucked into white-collar-cult-human-potential-bullshit-seminars (in this
case, "The Forum", a la Landmark, Inc.) and they go on and on about
"making the best of your situation" and "every person is equally
capable" and other Con-spired hogwash like that. I, on the other hand,
am fully convinced of just how FUCKED UP this country is, and if it
weren't for the fact that I also have an innate desire to contribute to
the replacement of this shitty system with something better, cleaner,
faster, harder/softer (depending on your mood), and more arrow-dynamic,
then I'd just put a fucking bullet in my brain RIGHT NOW. (Actually, I
take that back. If I go, I'm taking some world-class shits with me. >:)
So, yes, I think most SubG's have joined the faith BECAUSE they
agree with the dogma that says that most people are shitty at being
alive. I read your post about most people being asleep: I agree 100%. I
made up a bunch of ironic, cynical, evil, slightly insane "bumper
sticker" slogans. The first one I wrote was "YOU ARE THE ONLY HUMAN
BEING ON EARTH: EVERYONE ELSE IS A ROBOT". Your kids and spows would
probably be excluded. Neat, eh?
the Grand Clavister
(who uses the above name for tax/antisecurity purposes ONLY!)
--------------------------------------------------
- find my .sig in OTHER posts, when I'm properly listed as "THE GRAND
CLAVISTER" - ooo aah. Hey, now! Ungawa! REID FLEMING: WORLD'S TOUGHEST
MILKMAN is the funniest goddam thing I've ever read. Buy it. NOW! And
send me keys; O.L.I.N.Y.K., PO BOX 2559, GRAND CTRL STAT, NYC NY,
10163-2559. Dammit.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: jlyons@haven.ios.com (John)
Mind if I take these one at a time?
> Was your family "normal" or did it have "a Fellini-esque/
> Cirque du Soleil" feel to it?
My father is a psychologist, and my mother is insane. Big fun!
Made for interesting tensegrity dynamics. Dad used to have me participate
in all kinds of experiments; behavior modification, sensory deprivation
tanks, etc. I remember one of my favorites: an undergrad was
experimenting with the mind's capability of adjusting to REALLY
UNPLEASANT stimuli. I was locked in this sort of upright coffin, with
'trodes all over my body and these great big headphones on my ears. There
was total silence, almost no sensory input for about 45 minutes. Finally,
after what seemed like an eternity, the headphones let rip with this
incredibly LOUD HIDEOUS MIND-CLAWING NOISE. After random amounts of time,
the NOISE would come back. They showed me the graphs afterward, and how
subsequent applications of the HIDEOUS BLARE made my body jerk less and
less. But I digress...you know how on, say, "Pee-Wee's Playhouse",
certain days would be "special", like "Today is Opposites Day; Do the
Opposite of What Everyone Tells You"? Well, Dad would encourage me to
experiment with this sort of junior-grade mindfuck, and report back to
him with my observations. Thus, I feel, the seeds of SLACK were sown.
> When did you realize that you were "different?"
In second grade, when I earned the nickname "Lightning", for opining
to the nice catholic boys that life on earth began when a lightning bolt
struck a puddle of slime. After they beat the fuck out of me, I went to
the principal, and HE hit me, too. I think "Bob" was with me then, too,
laughing and capering and gibbering in his own dimension. I know I heard
*someone* laughing.
> Is it just me, or all SubG's vaguely misanthropic?
Never! I could never be a misanthrope, since I'm a gynophile. Women
can get away with ANYTHING around me.
> How do you keep your head from exploding?
Damn good question. I'll have to think about it. Anyone else?
--
| John | |
| jlyons@haven.ios.com | (.sig under construction) |
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: iceknife@ashram.com (ICEKNIFE)
-=> Quoting Pkitty
etcom.com*9 to All <=-Re: Pervasive Pinkness an
P@> I can't say that family has ANYTHING to do with it...I've known Subs
BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT!!!
ADMIT IT! we've all pussyfooted around the TRUTH LONG FUCKING ENOUGH!
YOUR MOM... mine too, ALL OUR MOMS... they met a man, or saw him, or fucked
him, or shot him, or something... they all had contact with him...
he... he was... smoking a PIPE... it... it...
i can't talk about this...
ICEKNIFE
... MAXIMIZE WORK POTENTIAL : SASE & $1 to P.O.BOX 140306 DALLAS TX 75214
Original file name: Pervasive Pinkness and the É
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