On 22 Mar 1995, Black Olive Jesus wrote:
> How about those nutty Aum Shinrynko Hindu-Buddhists in Tokyo? I
> mean, these Christians over here snuff themselves, but those Aum
> Shinrynko dudes in Japan decided it mad more sense to snuff everyone
> else. Well, Rev. Stang should go check ths Church storage dump of
> chemical weapons. Maybe the Sarin stuff was stolen from CotSG.
Eh, a little nerve gas missing from the archives, who can say? Besides,
if they *paid* for it, what's the difference?
>
> But when the X-ists come to "spray the planet for humans" they'll
> be using gases a MILLION times more deadly than Sarin. And it'll
> cause people's heads to explode and other keen stuff but SubG's
> will be immune becuase of our *distinctly* unique (and NON-HUMAN)
> genetic structure.
>
Not only that, but it's gonna be a great rush as well. Pink head
exploding in corruscating shades of rainbow hues. Cats and dogs lying
down together.
> My theory is that the X-ist Nerve Gas will cause the humans to
> evovle at high-speed -- but NOT into Overmen/UberFemmes -- rather
> the humans will evovle into Big Brained Pinks. But the head will
> not evovle into a Big Head like an Overman/UberFemme head because
> the humans don't consider big heads attractive.
My projections show that at current rates of evolution, Pinks will
actually evolve into a form horrifyingly close to that of Alan Thicke.
> No, the humans will evovle at high-speed into Ken and Barbie
> clones with a thousand times the brain mass -- all within a
> day! Yes, they'll be beautiful and obnoxiously smart at first,
> but within a few hours the disgusting oozing of their brains
> will begin -- grey matter squirting out of their noses and ears
> until *SPLUNCK*
>
We could only be so lucky--start working on that Luck Plane*now*.
IrRev Finagle
-<*>--<*>--<*>--<*>--<*>--<*>--<*>--<*>--<*>--<*>--<*>--<*>--<*>--<*>--<*>-
E.M. Connor Durflinger ______ "The mirror collapses,
263 Washington #10 \ __/___ the image may not."
Binghamton, NY 13901 \ \ / --Ministry
(607)-722-5299 \/\ / "The perversity of the
bc05319@bingsuns.cc.binghamton.edu \/ universe tends towards
Philosophy, Interpretation, and Culture a maximum."
Binghamton University --Finagle's Law
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Subject: Re: Is any of the Church Nerve Gas missing?
From: dynasor@infi.net (Dennis McClain-Furmanski)
<SNI-I-I-I-I-FFFFFF>
*choke*
-=sputter=-
wheeeeeeeeeew!
huh?
Missing?
No, hell no.
It SETTLED IN SHIPPING. Shit yeah.
This stuff goes FLAT you see.
I was just checking.
It's OK right now. Honest.
anyone seen my peripheral nerves?
--
dynasor@infi.net The Doctor is on.
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Subject: Re: Is any of the Church Nerve Gas missing?
From: skimery@ionet.net (Rev. Leo Damascus)
Dennis---
Just a follow-up note: if those slackless bastids find out just
how much we cut that stuff, they're gonna be pissed. Man, Vicks
Vap-o-rub (tm), that was inspired.
The World Health Organization's "Health Aspects of Chemical and
Biological Weapons" sez of Sarin: "related to the inhibition of tissue
cholinesterases at synaptic sites" and "In volunteers, a single oral
dose of 0.022 mg/kg produced mild symptoms."
Man, where are they getting their volunteers????? We need more
like 'em!
=================================
His Most Convoluted Rev. Leo Damascus
Public Outrage Ministries, High Temple of
the ***20*** Count'em ***20****
Dancing Teen-Vixen Squid Godesses
(Reformed Compact of 2002)
=================================
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Subject: Re: Is any of the Church Nerve Gas missing?
From: dynasor@infi.net (Dennis McClain-Furmanski)
Aw, shit, man. You hit the wrong button and posted this in public!
Now I gotta go fill the bottle back up with something before Stang comes for
his regular nip. You *know* he marks the bottles.
But I did manage to get the Vicks part ranted onto tape tonight.
Think he'd notice if I switched in some nickel carbonyl?
--
dynasor@infi.net The Doctor is on.
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From: skimery@ionet.net (Rev. Leo Damascus)
Subject: Re: Is any of the Church Nerve Gas missing?
If nickel corbonyl was good enough for the Legionaire op, it's good
enough for our nipponese customers.
It may be time to redirect Sacred Scribe Stang towards a more exclusive
private stock. Check the manifests of archive vaults #21-23, I seem to
remember having larded away something tasty there, back when the
ferrocrete was still curing.
I am puzzled by our erstwile cusotmers, though. All those chems, you'd
think they could have made their own. Maybe they were trying for "Bob's
Secret Recipe", thinking we'd sold them the weapons grade stuff, instead
of the rib-tickling batch we spoonfeed Stang. Subway riders never know
when to say when.
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Original file name: Church Nerve Gas Missing?
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