Okay, okay, this is the alt.slack group. Well, I know the cool
thing about being online is that you can't really tell what the age,
gender or species is at the other end, all wrapped up in that neato
softwear, but one thing I have discovered is: YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE A COLOR
MONITOR TO SEE THE COLOR PINK SCREAMIN' AT YOU!!
This is an alt.slack newsgroup, this is the domain of the Sub-Gums??
Sheeeeit, bubba, I thought that this was the fucking Pepto-Bismol channel
from what I've been reading lately. I mean there's more content at alt.
friends.sterno than there is here. I can't believe that Stang talked
me into spending all my money and getting online for this weak parade of
inane scribbling. This could be a fucking chat-room at aol for Dobbs' sake.
The internet must have more bobbies per byte than a devival I attended in Los
Angeles a few years ago.
I MEAN, WHERE'S YOUR GODDAMNED HATE????
Is this what happens when you go away to do missionary work? You come back
and find out Stang is in "shobiz", Lies has mellowed out, PuzzEv is having a midlife
crisis, Sterno had contracted a loathesome disease and the church colors have been
changed to green and pink. Apart from an occasional burst of Tourette
Syndromespeak from Sterno, my grandmother, if she were alive, would find this
wimpy, politically correct newsgroup unworthty of shitting on.
There's not enough hate, rancor or blasphemy here, even the fucking
Christians are doing better than this. This is a winky-dinky, namby pamby
group here, no ranting, no bullshattering revelations, no truly sick or
twisted postings, just a chatty little group of would-be sub-gleemies. I'd better write to PuzzEv and tell
hin not to hurry up going online or at least leave this group off his list.
Oh well, maybe there's something better over at aol.
G.G.(I WILL NOT SUFFER A BOBBIE TO LIVE)GORDON, M.M.,P.O.S.H.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: alt.pinkboy
From: gunther@bga.com (Joe Newman)
There is no room for hate. There is only love. I want to love every one
of the fucking idiots in this newsgroup. I want to rub up against them, stick
my mouth an inch from their ugly, wart-encrusted noses, and grin hot air into
their faces about how much I fucking love them. Then while they're looking at
my love mouth, I want to pull out my love dick. I don't just want to pull out
my love dick; I want to whip off my love drawers entirely, so my warm brown
asshole is at the ready. When they start backing away, I want to love them
some more. Did I mention my asshole? I want them to love my asshole, just like
I've been loving them. There's no room for hate or prejudice. There's only my
asshole and the love of every fucking idiot in this newsgroup. You won't need
a color monitor to see pink and brown screaming and belching at you. Love my
asshole when I straddle your wart-encrusted nose. Let me feel those warts
on my prostate gland. If that isn't love, there are no seasons like the
summer or the spring.
Then there's the zits on my ass. They need love too. Just like Andy needs
Helen and Barney needs Thelma Lou, my ass zits need the love of every fucking
idiot in this newsgroup. I want to see a lot less hate around here and a lot
more love for my ass zits. I want boxes of roses delivered to my ass zits on
a daily basis starting right fucking now, because I love all of you, really.
-Joe Newman
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: alt.pinkboy
From: dynasor@infi.net (Dennis McClain-Furmanski)
Gordo, my man, give a holler when you've finished your warm up, and are
ready to come up to speed. I'm severely in need of practice. I'm working
my way up to being able to communicate with Janor when he wires in. And on
that glorious day, yea, there shall become as a snake with an infinite
number of heads, each holding a tail in its mouth, a dedicated IRC Channel
of Slack. And then the spout shall come as a waterfall, endless and
powerful, and none shall withstand its force, and all the true Yeti shall
receive their baptism of electrons. After all, the saucers need a homing
signal.
* 2qwk! 1.26b3 * 'Tis better to have loved and lost than to be immolated.
--
dynasor@infi.net The Doctor is on.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: alt.pinkboy
From: ljduchez@en.com (Lou Duchez)
So? Show us how to do it right. Put up or shut up! Yes, I can tell
that you could physically rend me limb from limb -- you could probably
do it psychically too -- but the fact is, we aren't here to entertain
you individually. This isn't alt.entertain.g.gordon.gordon.
You want Pink? How's this. "Gosh, should I even post a response to
G. Gordon Gordon? I don't know, I haven't capitalized enough words
or smutty language. Maybe I need to put more hate into it first."
Now THAT would be Pink.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: alt.pinkboy
From: stimpynren@aol.com (StimpyNRen)
Here here! If GGG wants people to post HIS way, he can get his own
newsgroup just like Zoogz Rift did! Hyuh! Talk about PINK!
> You want Pink? How's this. "Gosh, should I even post a response to
> G. Gordon Gordon? I don't know, I haven't capitalized enough words
> or smutty language. Maybe I need to put more hate into it first."
> Now THAT would be Pink.
Actually, I passed up on responding directly to GGG for a similar reason.
Not because I was concerned with how GGG would take it. I DON'T put enough
hate into my messages. Why? My schizmatic clench of the SubGenius Church
isn't into the HATE thing. We USED to be a Stangian Hate Church, but that
got old real fast. Mindless HATE without purpose is like having sex
without the woman being there. It's mental and verbal masturbation, and a
waste of everyone's time. Posting to GGGs flamerant about how not enough
people post the way HE likes it, well it seemed just a waste of phosphor.
I think we should wait until GGG starts posting the way WE want him to
before we give him the time of day. But that WOULD be anti-Bob. Telling
people what to do or what not to do or whether or not to HATE or LOVE
something. Hell, the Conspiracy does that all the time! Maybe when GGG
gets that corncob out of his butt, I'll consider reading his future posts.
Tryin' ta tell me how to put more HATE in my alt.slack posts! What does G.
Gordon Gordon think he IS anyway? One of the first thirteen apostles for
the SubGenius Church??? Okay, so maybe he is, still doesn't change the
fact he's being a "whining schoolboy with satchel and shining morning face
creeping like snail unwillingly to school."
Translation for those not Shakespearean ShorDurPerSaved: he's acting like
a child.
---==*This message brought to you by*==---
THE REBORN DOKTOR Zachary Carleton
One and Only New and Improved Official Clone for "Bob"
and little known fourteenth apostle.
The First United PatrioPsychoticAnarchoMaterialistic
Juxtapositioned Church of Latter-Day SubGenii and
Prepatory Academy for South Dallas (and other places)
otherwise known as The Church With The Long Name for short.
Exploring the Forbidden Sciences since 1985!
Short Attention Span Research Laboratories (ShAtSpReLa)
Don't Ask Me Studios, located in a dimension not very far
from your mind
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: alt.pinkboy
From: stimpynren@aol.com (StimpyNRen)
Joe Newman, with zits on his ass, excremeditated:
>There is no room for hate. There is only love. I want to love every one
>of the fucking idiots in this newsgroup. I want to rub up against them,
stick
>my mouth an inch from their ugly, wart-encrusted noses, and grin hot air
into
That was so beautiful, Newman. I want you to love me too, you sick,
perverted dog! I want to watch you bark, you twisted pathetic worm of a
man! I think you're the most disgusting creature on the face of this
Earth! And I mean that in the most endearing, loving sort of way! I can
sleep at night now, knowing there's such a wonderfully sick, pathetic,
disgusting, gross and useless heap of protoplasm as you enveloping the
alt.slack newsgroup and proving to the obnoxious GGG that we all know and
love intimately, BIBLICALLY, proving to him that there's no room for hate;
only love, you rodents with delusions of limburger cheeze!
I love you all. I feel so much pathetic love in this newsgroup! I feel
like I'm having my eyeballs plucked out of their sockets with dull butter
knives CONTINUOUSLY for eternity it's so much love I'm feeling. It's like
jumping head over heels in love into a swimming pool filled with razor
blades! It's like slowly being charred to death by an unforgiving desert
sun while vultures swirl overhead waiting for me to breathe my last breath
of LOVE!! Oh I can't stand it but I must have more of this pathetic,
mucous-encrusted, sick, deranged SINFUL LOVE!!! OH BOB SPARE ME FROM NOT
EVER NOT FEELING THIS MUCH HATE-FILLED LOVE IN THIS SICK TWISTED SORRY
EXCUSE FOR A NEWSGROUP FILLED WITH NOTHING BUT PANSY-ASSED BOBBIES, ALL IN
LOVE WITH >>>YOU<<< BOB!
OH DOBBS! OH! I THINK I'M REACHING AN ORGASM! MAKE IT LAST FOREVER BOB!!
OH! YES DOBBSY! OH YES! OH! OH! OH!
EIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!
OH YES! OH YES! YES YES YES! I LOVE YOU ALL! OH! OH! OH!
yes just a little to the left Dobbsy..
OH! OH! OH DOBBS! I LOVE YOU DOBBS! YES! YES! no put your tongue back in
there. OH YES!
YES! YES! I CAN'T STAND IT! YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE SUCH A >>MAN<<!!!
SHCHAWING BATTER! SCHA-WING BATTER!
OH YES! HELP ME MY LEGS ARE ON FIRE! OH DOBBS! OH DOBBS!
YES YES YES YESYESYESyesyesyesyes YES YES! OH!
(unintelligible words and sounds which the English Phonetic Alphabet
cannot recreate)
oh!
ow!
oh!
ow!
OH! OoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooWOW DOBBS!
DOBBSYDOBBSY SAY YOU'LL BE MINE UNTIL THE END-TIMES! OH YES! OH YES! oh,
ah, ahhh...
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh....!
ooh. it hurts so good.
---==*This message brought to you by*==---
THE REBORN DOKTOR Zachary Carleton
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: gunther@bga.com (Joe Newman)
In article <3q94kf$knd@newsbf02.news.aol.com>, stimpynren@aol.com says...
>
>Mindless HATE without purpose is like having sex
>without the woman being there. It's mental and verbal masturbation, and a
>waste of everyone's time.
Wait just a fucking minute. Since when did mindless hate and masturbation
become wastes of time? Outside of lawn maintenance and cleaning pus from
my dog's abscesses, you're talking about 100% of my waking hours. What the
fuck would be the point of joining YOUR clench? Do you have recipe exchange
email groups?
>I think we should wait until GGG starts posting the way WE want him to
>before we give him the time of day.
Yeah! That way, he wouldn't know if he was late for appointments
and stuff.
> But that WOULD be anti-Bob.
Good! Fuck "Bob". I'm sick and tired of this "Bob" shit. I demand that
each and every one of you stop talking about "Bob" immediately. If you
persist, I'll be contacting your system administrator.
> Telling
>people what to do or what not to do or whether or not to HATE or LOVE
>something. Hell, the Conspiracy does that all the time! Maybe when GGG
>gets that corncob out of his butt, I'll consider reading his future posts.
I want to love that corncob out of his butt.
-Joe Newman
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: alt.bitch-and-whine
From: dynasor@infi.net (Dennis McClain-Furmanski)
There's nothing more pathetic than infantile drivel carping about some
supposed lack of suitable material. Well EXCUSE THE FUCK OUT OF THOSE PEOPLE
WITH ENOUGH ABILITY, TO NOT SATISFY YOUR WHIMS.
What the fuck are we, the cable company? You want your instant
gratification, go download some of the binaries groups and whack away.
Who the fuck are YOU? The VIEWING PUBLIC? You got some RIGHT to EXPECT
ENTERTAINMENT?
YOU are the entertainment. Put about half the energy into something original
that you put into your happy-lack tantrums and YOU fix your own fucking
problem.
It just so happens that some people LIKE to post stupid, inane, insipid,
trite and useless monosyballic replies to like posts. If that doesn't suit
you,
FUCK YOU VERY MUCH.
If you think that "ruins" anything, you got a pretty fucking twisted idea of
how the net works. And it's being twisted primarily by the fatal Pink flaw
of waiting for someone else to fill up your head. Go ahead and think that --
someone will be glad to oblige you. Infogluttony is a CON disease that's
self-instigated and insatiable, and they'll be GLAD to help you fill up that
bottomless pit. For a price; a piece of your life. The only cure is a
craniectomy, or MENTAL SHEER GUT BLOWOUT.
I got a drive FULL of nifty shit. But I ain't about to feed your disease.
You don't want alt.slack "ruined". So FUCKING FIX IT and fix yourself in the
process. Save yourself, or install yourself in front of your read-only eMpTy
Vee terminal and get ready for a long, long decline the REST of the way into
Pinkdom.
You think people that are capable of entertaining you post here specifically
for that reason? Fuck that -- I'd just as soon wire the modem to an uplink
and beam the shit straight into the cosmic wilderness just on the off chance
it'd fuck with some alien civilization's mind a billion years from now. They
do it BECAUSE THEY DO IT, and this just happens to be a place to do it in.
NOBODY is here to feed your sorry ass anything.
And I'll give you a little tip -- if you have to soak it up or feel the lack
when you can't have it, IT AIN'T SLACK. And if you got some ideas about what
people shouldn't do in an artificial reality that reflects the basic anarchy
inherent in brain-to-brain communication, go get yourself a job as a
magazine editor, or a politician, or a cop. There's an enormous segment of
the population that NEEDS to be told what they should and should not like,
read and think.
I for one fully intend to continue enjoying posting stupid little one line
time wasters because I WANT TO. If you don't like that, learn what killfile
means, learn to scan topics and message lengths, learn to fucking skip posts
and threads, learn to fucking FILL THE PLACE WITH WHAT YOU WANT TO BE HERE.
Sorry if things don't meet with your standards lately. But take your
standards, write them on a piece of cardboard, fold it up so it has lots of
sharp corners, and cram it up your ass so the corners lodge in you colon
walls. This shouldn't cause any problems, since you're obviously not using
your anus anyway. I mean, if alt.slack isn't up to your standards, you're so
entirely full of shit that you haven't used it in quite some time, except
maybe to keep your ears warm.
Fuck your standards. If I wanted standards I'd have stayed in the army.
Their standards may have sucked, but they've got 'em by the boot full.
Die choking on your fucking standards, because they're the last warning sign
before the big Pink cliff you're about to run off, and if this world isn't
measuring up to your expectations, then just maybe the next one will. Go
find out. Either that, or dig your shorts out of your ass, and place your
expectations on yourself.
This AIN'T the fucking books. This is the net. It is bidirectional, and the
only direction you have any power over is the OUTPUT direction. You got a
problem on the net, grow the fuck up and OUTPUT.
Kissy, kissy.
--
dynasor@infi.net The Doctor is on.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: stimpynren@aol.com (StimpyNRen)
Subject: Re: alt.pinkboy
Joe Newman excremeditated:
>Wait just a fucking minute. Since when did mindless hate and masturbation
>become wastes of time? Outside of lawn maintenance and cleaning pus from
>my dog's abscesses, you're talking about 100% of my waking hours. What
the
>fuck would be the point of joining YOUR clench? Do you have recipe
exchange
>email groups?
Yeah. Got one for Joe Newman Cannibal Burgers. You want some?
You worship "Bob" your way. I'll worship him mine.
>Good! Fuck "Bob". I'm sick and tired of this "Bob" shit. I demand that
>each and every one of you stop talking about "Bob" immediately. If you
>persist, I'll be contacting your system administrator.
Yeah Right. And I insist you stop using the word "fuck" in all your posts.
In fact the only person who has the right to use the word "fuck" in his
posts from now on is that fuckwad "Bob" but he never fucking posts, so
don't nobody never use the fucking word fuck in this fucking newsgroup
again! This IS after all a fucking family forum. Or a forum for family
fucking. One of the two.
>I want to love that corncob out of his butt.
"Don't just love a corncob out of his butt. Love the HELL out of it"
...and then I shot him.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: gunther@bga.com (Joe Newman)
Subject: Re: alt.pinkboy
Damn, I guess you told me.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: alt.pinkboy
From: bmyers@ionet.net (TarlaStar)
I'm sorry, Joe. As much as I love you, and I do love every single one
of you except GGG, (just because he's so cranky and not smurfy at
all!) I cannot love your ass zits. Ass zits just are
so...dissatisfying. They never pop with a really good noise like a
good deep back zit. They rarely get a good head like a face zit. and
if your ass is really hairy, it's hard to even SEE the fuckers. NO...I
demand to be allowed to love only your facial and back zits. And the
next time you clean your dog's shoulder...I wanna help.
--
Reverend Mutha Tarla, Little Sisters of the Perpetually Juicy,
A Proud Jism Schism of the Church of the SubGenius, Worshipping
"Connie" Dobbs and Juicy Retardo since 1986
http://www.ionet.net/~bmyers/homepage.html
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: gunther@bga.com (Joe Newman)
My ass is bald, sweet, and sublime. When Jesus H. Fucking Christ returns,
the first thing he's going to want to see is my glorious bald ass and its
deep, creamy zits. When Madonna's world tour hits Texas, the cone-titted
slut herself will pound on my door begging for a chance to pop clean my
ass zits with inward pressure from her two thumbs. But Madonna will leave
town disappointed; I'm saving my pus tunnels for every fucking idiot in
this goddamn newsgroup. And after each SubGenius has had his/her chance
to squeeze one of my bonny butt zits til it yields nary a drop but blood,
my glorious bald ass will shine in radiant splendor... the sunlight
glancing across its hundreds of oozing cavities, framed in a pastoral
setting where sheep may safely graze.
-Joe Newman
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: alt.pinkboy
From: sphinx1@ix.netcom.com (sphinx drummond )
I have a mole on my left butt cheek that I love almost and much as
spaghetti with pesto sauce. On my right butt cheek I have a birthmark
that is an exact replica of Mt. Rushmore except instead of the
presidents faces, it is of their butts. The funny thing is, on my butt
birthmark of the presidents butts, Teddy Roosevelt's butt has a Tattoo
of Marilyn Monroe's left tit. On the tit is a tattoo of Kennedy and
Charles Nelson Riley mooning Hoover & Nixon. I love my butt's
birthmark.
Would you ask the zits on your ass if they prefer red or white roses. I
hope it's white cause I can get a deal on white roses.
Signed,
The Killer of poor ol' Sphinx Drummond
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: alt.pinkboy
From: ricky@nerix.nerdc.ufl.edu (St. Ain-Soph)
gggor (gggor@io.com) wrote:
: Okay, okay, this is the alt.slack group. Well, I know the cool
: thing about being online is that you can't really tell what the age,
: gender or species is at the other end, all wrapped up in that neato
: softwear, but one thing I have discovered is: YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE A COLOR
: MONITOR TO SEE THE COLOR PINK SCREAMIN' AT YOU!!
Yeah, well this just PEES my KNEE-GLAND that we got these Gimme "Bob"
fench-mending pencil-sharpening light-bulb-joking nine-faced all-sexaul
knuckle-cracking Slack bandits sitting at THE TABLE OF "BOB" justa
dipping their hands into the gravy and secretly REPORTING every detail
back to the Minions of the Elders Gods and the Men in Black and the
DEROS and the Green Energy Demons and all those other high-stepping
low-riding one-way-ticket-purchasing hand-jiving upper-crust-dining
lower-tax-bracket ANARCHONRICISTRATS!
It really just SPLITS MY BRAIN to listen to these Moonie-struck-gold
Pope-John-Paul-Peter-James-approved No-new-age-metaphyscial
unlauched-heads being ALLOWED TO BREATHE, let alone *post* their snot
to alt.slack. It really KISSES MY BUTT to think that Joe-Schmooze
can dangle his little thought-turds on a thread next to GREAT MEN
like Stang and NENSLO and Sternodox and unnamed-significant-church-
others, all the while and no one even THINKS to skewer them with
the Sacred Lance of Antioch or club them senseless with the
Vorpal Blade of T'gllan'dayyd'aheth. What kind of comprising
all-inclusive compassionate sick twisted non-violent live-and-like-live
philosophy is that? These people must die. After all, they are human
are they not?
If Jesus were alive today, he would spit his elbow grease on the Tommy
Gun of Saint Valentine and aim it straight at their lotus-encrusted
navels and do them a short burst of Blessed Supreme Truth or Consequences
xxx-rated hot-pinkboy nails in a lovely little pattern that spells
MOM. "Man has no greater hate than this, but to let a Pinkboy die
a slow and painful death with every pore bleeding little drops of
blood."
If I had a hammer, I'd sell it to the highest bidder and use the
money to buy neutron generator triggers for "Bob's" scacred arsenal
of weapons of mass destruction. Yeah, and I'd figure the trajectory
and the launch window and the official denial and all the other
dirty grimey grunt-work of wiping this PINK SCUM off the planet
so that there's at least a clearing big enough for one of them
Escape Saucers to land. Shia-Q'"Bob"ula! Someone's got to do it.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: alt.pinkboy
From: pkitty@netcom.com (Purple Kitty)
Ah, you think YOU have zits to be worshipped...my ass, so many years ago,
perfected the art of growing ass zits to such a degree that every
mathematical and theological proof in the known universe could be derived
from the patterns of pusballs on my cheeks! Faced with possible
perfection (something even my body chemistry knows to avoid), it realized
that the next frontier was INTERNAL ZITS. I have zits in my anal
sphincter! I have puss oozing out of my rosebud! Everytime I take a shit
I look down in the toilet and the crusty heads of my introass blisters
are embedded in it and they MAKE A DOBBSHEAD that slowly spreads apart as
the water dissolves it and when those crusty heads are flushed down the
toilet, the alligators that eat them wash up on the shore a week later,
dead as a doornail but with a SMILE ON THEIR FACE because they've
experienced the ultimate in anal zit pleasure.
Thank you.
Rev Pee Kitty
--
Meow!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: i.stang@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
EH-EH-EH.... EH-EH-EH.... this whole "G.Gordon Gordon" vs. "alt.slack"
scheme of mine is coming along JUST AS I PLANNED!! Not one variation from
the predicted results. Eh-eh-eh.... "Bob" will reward me well for this
one.
For my next experiment, I will soon be revealing which one of the
alt.slack regulars has been Paul Mavrides THIS WHOLE TIME.
Thank you for participating in the Grand Design.
Rev. Stang
--
Copyright 1995 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian
MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the
Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc.
PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 / Fax 214-320-1561 / PRABOB
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: pkitty@netcom.com (Purple Kitty)
LET THE BETTING BEGIN! (Personally, I've got $20 on Nenslo...you guys
WOULD just do something like that).
Rev Pee Kitty
--
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: gggor@io.com (gggor)
>>Lou Duchez excremeditated:
>>
>>> ...but the fact is, we aren't here to entertain
>>> you individually. This isn't alt.entertain.g.gordon.gordon.
>>
>
BUT OF COURSE YOU ARE ALL HERE TO ENTERTAIN ME, THAT'S THE PURPOSE
OF ALT.SLACK, THE INTERNET,HUMAN CULTURE AND THE ENTIRE FUCKING
UNIVERSE...ENTERTAINMENT. EVERYTHING IS HERE FOR MY ENTERTAINMENT
AND YOURS...IF ANY OF YOU ARE CAPAPBLE OF BEING ENTERTAINED!
So don't give me any of your self-righteous glorp, if this
whole fucking mess isn't here for entertainment, it has no meaning, no
reality, no higher reasonance. So dip your corncob in that before you
stick it in places it isn't invited.
GGG (entertain me now)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: gggor@io.com (gggor)
In article <3q93ju$c4@lucy.infi.net>, dynasor@infi.net (Dennis McClain-Furmanski) says:
>
>Gordo, my man, give a holler when you've finished your warm up, and are
>ready to come up to speed. I'm severely in need of practice. I'm working
>my way up to being able to communicate with Janor when he wires in. And on
>that glorious day, yea, there shall become as a snake with an infinite
>number of heads, each holding a tail in its mouth, a dedicated IRC Channel
>of Slack. And then the spout shall come as a waterfall, endless and
>powerful, and none shall withstand its force, and all the true Yeti shall
>receive their baptism of electrons.
Praise Dobbs, there is intelligent life out there. Would that
you and I should ever, could ever aspire to reach the lofty,
far flung heights of ranting hatedom as exemplified by St Janor.
Still, just to have that desire makes you a manly man in my book..
so, Newman's love zits and duchez' mushmouth smarmings notwithstanding
I got at least one thinking response. I apologize for my apparently effete
scrawlings but I HOPE TO GET UP A HEAD OF STEAM REALLY
SOON AND USE THE POWER OF MY HATRED FOR ALL THINGS PINK TO PURGE
THIS WOBBLY GREEN PLANET OF ALL OF THOSE WANNABEBOBS THAT SIT AT THE
MONITORS SUCKING OUT THE LIFE ESSENCE OF THOSE FOOLISH ENOUGH TO
PLAY THEIR SILLY GAMES. I'm talking about the kind of hate that
sterilizes city blocks, levels military establishments and turns the bowels
of the unbelievers into jelly, the kind of hate that makes NhGh himself
clap his hands with glee...we must not think of hatred as a negative
force but rather a pure and cleansing emanation of our commitment
and purity to the word of the one true master.
And of course, this is all here just for our entertainment,
nicht wahr???
Glad to hear from you Doktor, keep the bile levels high and the
black humors a-boiling,
GGG, Mercenary of Mercy, Pope of the Southern Hemisphere
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: gggor@io.com (gggor)
In article <3q8stk$9bv@giga.bga.com>, gunther@bga.com (Joe Newman) says:
>
>Then there's the zits on my ass. They need love too. Just like Andy needs
>Helen and Barney needs Thelma Lou, my ass zits need the love of every fucking
>idiot in this newsgroup. I want to see a lot less hate around here and a lot
>more love for my ass zits. I want boxes of roses delivered to my ass zits on
>a daily basis starting right fucking now, because I love all of you, really.
>
Oh Joe, you know I was only kidding, that was a 'fun' posting.
I'm a warm, huggy, fuzzy kind of a guy, and I want to love you and everyone
else...it was Sterno that told me to post that rude, mean article...
I'm sorry, so very, very sorry...thank you Rev. Joe for opening my eyes and
showing me the error of my slackless ways...ask Stang, he'll tell you
I really am one hell of a sweet fellow..
GG (you have been warned) Gordon
>
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: gggor@io.com (gggor)
Organization: greenhelle
In article <rx9xvgiGkUCM083yn@en.com>, ljduchez@en.com (Lou Duchez) says:
>
>In article <3q6c07$ko8@anaxagoras.io.com>, gggor@io.com (gggor) wrote:
>
>> . Put up or shut up! Yes, I can tell
you -- but the fact is, we aren't here to entertain
>you individually. This isn't alt.entertain.g.gordon.gordon.
>
> That is where you are exactly WRONG my condescending friend, you
ARE here solely for my entertainment, so is alt.slack here for my
entertainment as is the Internet itself. In fact the entire panoply of
human culture and the intricate workings of the very universe
itself are here solely for MY amusement...and yours too, if you
have that caopability. If you pretend that this newsgroup and anything else
we do is for any other purpose than entertainment then you obviously
haven't quite got the big picture yet, so don't get all self-righteous
and prissy-mouthed with me.Fuck you if you can't take a joke!!!
GG Gordon, M.M., P.O.S.H.
GREENHELLE Inc., Pty., Ltd.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: wbarwell@Starbase.NeoSoft.COM (William Barwell)
Wiat. It'll get better. The govenor has just signed the concealed carry
bill so come September we will all of us Texas SubGenii be able to get
licenses to carry concealed handguns. Course SOME of us have not wited
for the law. And let me tell you, a piece in your pocket does feed the
hate. Cause you can AFFORD it now. Just knowing you have 5 bullets in
that North American Arms mini magnum .22 in your pocket makes you more
hateful, surly and less likely to take shit from some monkey-boy. It is
instant attitude mutation. You no longer care if ol' shit-eyes thinks
you are fit for burning cause you spoke bad on Jesus cause you know you
could waste him if he tried to do anything about it.
And you better get that license, children of the darkness, cause THEY all
are and it works both ways.
Every inbred, mouth breathing, paranoid redneck in Texas will have a
Glock in his waistband. Poor Mexicans will all have cheap $60 .22 automatics.
What will YOU have, eh! You think it's wild 'n crazy now, wait til the
Militia geeks at work start carrying their arsenals around with 'em.
Time to form that Texas SubGenius People's militia NOW.
By damn, WE get to be the heros for a change. Protecting OUR government
from THEM. Stinking, un-American, right wingers with guns and black
helicopters on the brain.
Well, if they don't like it here, let 'em move to Paraguay or
back to Poland where they came from! HATE!? They hate their COUNTRY!
We simply hate the pinks lIKE them that voted in the bastards who ruined
it and drained the slack out of it.
Fuck 'em. Well they abandoned their country and so NOW IT'S OURS!
Guns! Get Guns! Carry Guns!
Every SubGenius in Texas must have a gun!
Every SubGenius must feed the righteous hate for those who ruined this
country and would now destroy the remnants because it ain't what they wanted.
"Bob" wanted it this way and he must know what he's talking about.
One SubGenius, one arsenal.
Field Marshal Charles
SubGenius Pope Of Houston
SubGenius People's Militia
More beer.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: dynasor@infi.net (Dennis McClain-Furmanski)
On Mon. May 29, 1995, i.stang@metronet.com told All:
isc> EH-EH-EH.... EH-EH-EH.... this whole "G.Gordon Gordon" vs.
> "alt.slack" scheme of mine is coming along JUST AS I PLANNED!! Not
> one variation from the predicted results. Eh-eh-eh.... "Bob" will
> reward me well for this one.
Thank you for inventing gravity, Mr. Newton.
isc> For my next experiment, I will soon be revealing which one of the
> alt.slack regulars has been Paul Mavrides THIS WHOLE TIME.
At best, it's "is Paul Mavrides ALSO". If someone on here is Paul in their
non-net life, they're still who they have been claiming to be on here.
Much the same as in other churchly matters. Is Ivan Stang = D*** S****?
Is Nenslo K** D*****? Is etc. etc*? Hardly. I doubt Paul Mavrides is on
alt.slack. I think it's possible Palmer Vreedeez is.
Lest this give some the idea that this represents people hiding behind
artificial personas, keep in mind we do this on purpose, but the net
causes it to happen in those cases where someone is NOT trying to do that.
We merely take control and use a process that HAPPENS TO most people, and
few of them are aware enough of it to admit to it.
In the cases where the churchly/net-wise persona is prevalent in "real
life", it's due to the person assuming that as their primary personality,
either consciously or as a matter of internal evolution, because their
constructed persona serves to fill a need their original one did not. I
did this on purpose. I think it's likely G-cubed did this, though I don't
know him well enough yet to say. I also think Tarla and Pee Kitty did
this, but long prior to net activity.
Why does this happen? Who the hell cares? You gotta deal with it and move
on. Social psychology is a neat toy and that's about all. You didn't think
that just because you looked through the microscope that them big nasty
germies actually grew bigger, did you?
* 2qwk! 1.26b3 * "Everybody's having fun with knives!" -- Bart Simpson
--
dynasor@infi.net The Doctor is on.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: ap944@lafn.org (Zoogz Rift)
Subject: Re: alt.pinkboy
That's how he got the name "burroughs"...
--Rev.Moamosan
--
********* ZOOGZ RIFT (The Liquid Moamo) <ap944@lafn.org> ********
* (EMAIL for ZR album and PromoPak info) *
* "The Liquid MAHABBAH?" --Cowboy Bob Orton *
*****************************************************************
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: dynasor@infi.net (Dennis McClain-Furmanski)
On Tue. May 30, 1995, gggor@io.com told All:
> REALLY SOON AND USE THE POWER OF MY HATRED FOR ALL THINGS PINK TO
> PURGE THIS WOBBLY GREEN PLANET OF ALL OF THOSE WANNABEBOBS THAT SIT
> AT THE MONITORS SUCKING OUT THE LIFE ESSENCE OF THOSE FOOLISH ENOUGH
> TO PLAY THEIR SILLY GAMES. I'm talking about the kind of hate that
> sterilizes city blocks, levels military establishments and turns the
> bowels of the unbelievers into jelly, the kind of hate that makes
> NhGh himself clap his hands with glee...we must not think of hatred
> as a negative force but rather a pure and cleansing emanation of our
> commitment and purity to the word of the one true master.
AYYYYYIYIYIYIYIYYI! That which RIPS the fabric of the Luck Plane and sews
it into a tutu for Connie to wear as she vacuums and plays bridge and
tells "Bob" how to dress!
Hate that GLOWS with CRITICAL MASS. HATE that transcends HEAVEN and HELL
and CHEAP FOOD that gives heartburn unbidden. HATE that TUNES the very
INSTRUMENTS OF DESTRUCTION thaT form the Doktors for "Bob". HATE that
WIPES
THE SLATE CLEAN and INVENTS ITS OWN SCORING SYSTEM. THERMONUCLEAR HATE
that will not be surpassed until the Mystery Rays of the Cleansing
Saucers.
> And of course, this is all here just for our entertainment,
> nicht wahr???
That's certainly A purpose. And entertainment value is a standard that
must be maintained in all. But JUST? Nay, we also have other purposes.
Church outreach for one. Gotta keep the Bobbies and the dollars flowing.
And cognitive target practice.
* 2qwk! 1.26b3 * Press all the keys at once to continue...
dynasor@infi.net The Doctor is on.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: pkitty@netcom.com (Purple Kitty)
Dennis McClain-Furmanski (dynasor@infi.net) wrote:
: On Mon. May 29, 1995, i.stang@metronet.com told All:
:
: isc> EH-EH-EH.... EH-EH-EH.... this whole "G.Gordon Gordon" vs.
: > "alt.slack" scheme of mine is coming along JUST AS I PLANNED!! Not
: > one variation from the predicted results. Eh-eh-eh.... "Bob" will
: > reward me well for this one.
:
: Thank you for inventing gravity, Mr. Newton.
<unbounded applause> Sums it up better than anything else could. You get
to be my SDPS next time I'm trying to think of a witty response.
: In the cases where the churchly/net-wise persona is prevalent in "real
: life", it's due to the person assuming that as their primary personality,
: either consciously or as a matter of internal evolution, because their
: constructed persona serves to fill a need their original one did not. I
: did this on purpose. I think it's likely G-cubed did this, though I don't
: know him well enough yet to say. I also think Tarla and Pee Kitty did
: this, but long prior to net activity.
Actually, not true (in my case; I don't purport to speak for Tarla :-).
My personality isn't a "schisming" type. Even when all my fellow Yeti
tended to slip between multiple personalities, I kept mine, because it
has always been so fucking mutable that it never failed me! It's like a
walnut with 80 pounds of Fluff around it. You can fold it into any shape
and make it say anything; it's got that everpresent kernel, but that's
all it's got everpresently.
BTW, to anyone who cares, my name's Jason Levine; I live at 13747
Martinique Drive, Seminole FL 34646 (currently), at 813-595-9133, I was
born on 7-4-74 (synchronic date, neh? I'll be celebrating my 24th bday as
the saucer rupture Russia), and the only reason I don't go on about my
gender and nationality and race is because I think those labels are bunch
of ConApprovedBullShit!
: Why does this happen? Who the hell cares? You gotta deal with it and move
: on. Social psychology is a neat toy and that's about all. You didn't think
: that just because you looked through the microscope that them big nasty
: germies actually grew bigger, did you?
No. But when they came out and started eating my Wheaties, I sure did!!!
Rev Pee Kitty
--
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: mtownsend@interramp.com (Michael Townsend)
Gggor@io.com (gggor) wrote:
>: GGG (entertain me now)
I'm entertaining evil thoughts about you right now. Hope that suffices.
--
>>>Dad's Crapulous Cassettexchange<<<
**Send a tape. Get a tape. It's that measly!**
Mail to: Dad's New Slacks - P.O. Box 4272 - Portland, Maine 04101-4272
::::or Will me for more email:::::
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: saint@prairienet.org (Andrew Matthews)
In a previous article, gggor@io.com (gggor) says:
> I MEAN, WHERE'S YOUR GODDAMNED HATE????
Hey! Don't you even start in on the hate, man. I've been here quietly
hating ALL OF YOU. Yes, all of you that sit here and can easily be
divided into two catagories: those who post inane techno-psycho-hypno-anal-
peptide-with-a-vermouth-shaker-babble and those who whine and moan that
alt.slack has become overrun with Bobbies... Yeah, fine. Maybe it has.
Maybe the only ones who have the Yeti Cajones on here are the ones ready,
willing, and more than able to burn Nenslo to the ground... (what goes around
comes around, five times stronger) (yeah, that's right, Nenslo, buddy...
whenever you're ready... you and me... mono e mono)
Where's my goddamned hate? I'll tell you where my goddamned hate is!
It's out there on the street, running down the old woman who steps out in
front of me when the light turns green. It's for that happy kissy huggy
normal couple walking in the park, giggling with each stolen cheek peck. It's
towards that Cathrode Ray Nipple spouting the lies of the Conspiracy on so
many different frequencies, it'd take a week of sundays to enumerate them.
It's in my heart, mind, and soul. It's one with me. It's my "Bob". Fuck
everything else. I've got more hate in my little finger than a HUNDRED
JANORS at a BOY GEORGE CONCERT. I have more hate than a THOUSAND NENSLOS
at a JANOR CONCERT. I have more hate than a MILLION STERNOS... yeah.
That's a lot. Yeah, just a MILLION STERNOS. Don't you go telling me that
my hate is inactive, inoperative, and just plain ol' kaput! I tell you,
RIOTS have been started by me. And not just silly black vs. white vs. purple
vs. red vs. yellow vs. poka dot vs. plaid fights...
PHRED BE SPAYED AND SAUTEED, DAMMIT, I AM A *COMPLETE RACIST*!
I HATE THE ENTIRE HUMAN RACE! HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE!
> There's not enough hate, rancor or blasphemy here, even the fucking
> Christians are doing better than this. This is a winky-dinky, namby pamby
>group here, no ranting, no bullshattering revelations, no truly sick or
>twisted postings just a chatty little group of would-be sub-gleemies. I'd better write to PuzzEv and tell
>hin not to hurry up going online or at least leave this group off his list.
Hell, I flick off the christian god once a day. He does the same back.
We have this sharing kind of relationship...
> Oh well, maybe there's something better over at aol,
Oh, that's the solution. When coming across a pile of pink doo-doo,
what do we do? go somewhere else and hope that that place isn't fouled?
Sooner or later, EVERYWHERE is going to be a mess! And THEN where will you
be? Huh? WHERE WILL YOUR SLACK BE THEN?
No, children, it's time we made CLEAN the temple! CAST OUT THE
CONSPIRACY! and VIOLENTLY, TOO! If you think a place is pink, then by
gum, GET RID OF THE PINKNESS YOURSELF. "Bob" sure as hell has better things
to do than to sit there and polish the place with a SlackDiaper FOR you.
It's payback system, kids. That minor amount of green paper you
sacrificed for your ordainment is getting you SALVATION! What a fucking
deal! And you're bitching that you have to wait a little for it? That you
have to continue another day in this con-ridden world? Do you realise that
you got one hell of a deal? Then the LEAST you can do in the meantime, since
you're just whining with all this free-time, is to make the world a little
less pink, a little more slackful. Go out there and hate someone today!
st. andrew, ksc
"stand back, i gotta mulch..." - pope phred
--
$aint @ndrew, KSC. Campus Chaplain of Miskatonic University. Ogyr Network.
contact: snail-mail = PO BOX 53, PLAINFIELD, IL. 60544
email: saint@firefly.prairienet.org or saint_andrew@anl.gov
www: http://www.paranoia.com/coe/resources/saint.html
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: gggor@io.com (gggor)
In article <3q94kf$knd@newsbf02.news.aol.com>, stimpynren@aol.com (StimpyNRen) says:
>
>I think we should wait until GGG starts posting the way WE want him to
>before we give him the time of day. But that WOULD be anti-Bob. Telling
>people what to do or what not to do or whether or not to HATE or LOVE
>something.
No whining schoolboy here you coxcomb, loblolly,
rather a lean and slippered pantaloon who steps his way among
the blind and benighted who could see if they
so wished. Don't give me this loveburger dipshit bit about the
fewkin' church...it's all hate, hate for normals, hate for bobbies
and hate for humans..and I don't mean that wimpy
(oh I just HATE my boss/hair/job/life) kind of hate, but
rather I speak to you of the pure hate, the
kind of hate that liberates you from the mundanities of
everyday glorp-like existence. Hatred is pure, diamond hard, unrelenting.
Hatred powers the cosmic dynamos of the universe..Hate is what's
happening...so suck on that corncob you bulging eyed chihuahhua!!!
But that was long ago, and in another land,
And besides, the wench is dead!
GG (Hate you if you can't take a joke) Gordon
Mercenary of Mercy...Pope of the Southern Hemisphere,
Left Fist of Dobbs
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: jlyons@haven.ios.com (John)
As my guide and I watched from the bushes, Purple Kitty wrote:
: Rev. Ivan Stang (i.stang@metronet.com) wrote:
: : For my next experiment, I will soon be revealing which one of the
: : alt.slack regulars has been Paul Mavrides THIS WHOLE TIME.
: LET THE BETTING BEGIN! (Personally, I've got $20 on Nenslo...you guys
: WOULD just do something like that).
: Rev Pee Kitty
You think we're not onto you? Let's check that header, shall we?
> Path: ankh.iia.org!uunet!cs.utexas.edu!swrinde!gatech!bloom-beacon.mit.
> edu!news.kei.com!simtel!noc.netcom.net!lies.io.com!netcom.com!pkitty
^^^^
Gotcha.
--
John
jlyons@haven.ios.com
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: gggor@io.com (gggor)
stimpynren@aol.com (StimpyNRen) says:
>
>Tryin' ta tell me how to put more HATE in my alt.slack posts! What does G.
>Gordon Gordon think he IS anyway? One of the first thirteen apostles for
>the SubGenius Church??? Okay, so maybe he is, still doesn't change the
>fact he's being a "whining schoolboy with satchel and shining morning face
>creeping like snail unwillingly to school."
>
Personally I have always preferred:
"Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard
Jealous in honour , sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon's mouth."
or even
"Full of wise saws and modern instances, and so
he plays his part."
Let me finish this little billet-doux off with:
"Truly thou art damned like
an ill-roasted egg, all on one side."
Put that in your Droushout Ms and suck it through the spout!
GG (brush up on your Shakespeare) Gordon. M.M., P.O.S.H.
Greenhelle Inc., Pty., Ltd.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: gggor@io.com (gggor)
>> Telling
>>people what to do or what not to do or whether or not to HATE or LOVE
>>something. Hell, the Conspiracy does that all the time! Maybe when GGG
>>gets that corncob out of his butt, I'll consider reading his future posts.
>
>I want to love that corncob out of his butt.
>
>-Joe Newman
>
Dear Joe, as I lie here and slowly twirl that corncob in my butt
while listening to RSP, I find my thoughts turn to you constantly.
We had so brief a time that weekend and now we are doomed
to share our feelings only through this sad, miserable newsgroup in front
of the prying lurking eyes of a bazillion pinkboys, hanging on our
every word, pantingly emulating our coll and jazzy life-style. But it's
worth it Joe, because you showed me how wrong I was, I forgot about love and mindless
masturbation until you came along...thanx again,
GG (the way is LOVE) Gordon
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: gggor@io.com (gggor)
In article <mtownsend-3105950652430001@ip105.portland.me.interramp.com>, mtownsend@interramp.com (Michael Townsend) says:
>
>I'm entertaining evil thoughts about you right now. Hope that suffices.
>
What I'm told is hate is great, and fire
though warm, doth not conform the soul and
Pain itself must die. But hate, cold, dark
Like rigid ice, doth more than suffice to
Pry the godhead from our souls.
Heisenberg may or may not have been right.
GG Gordon, Merc. Merc. P.O.S.H.
Greenhelle Inc., Pty., Ltd.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: bmyers@ionet.net (TarlaStar)
gggor@io.com (gggor) wrote:
>> DANGEROUS??? I'm a pussycat compared to Palmer Vreedeez!!
And Palmer Vreedeez is a gentle trusting newborn lamb compared to me.
Thusfar I have directed the pure white light of my hate upon Normals
don't make me have to slap an electronic harelip on you...
>>My pleasure, it always makes me slick to work for "Bob" (and you, by
>>extention, my dear Stanky)
>> Really you two, if it wasn't for the fact that I Know All about I.Stang's
>personal life I'd almost think things were getting skwishy over here!
It's all a matter of knowing what to kiss..and when. Stang's butt's
not all pimply like Joe's (at least that's what Sterno tells me). But
then again, there's hours of pleasure to be had at the fountain of Joe
Newman's ass...I take what I want, when I want it. Right now, I
believe I'll have a plateful of YOUR ass, thanks...and a corndog.
>>--
>>Reverend Mutha Tarla, Little Sister Please Don't believe Ivan, he keeps me and
>Paul locked up in a sleazy motel room and makes us write all this weird
>sstuff while he tells us lurid tales of the Perpetually Juicy,
They're all true...keep writing. If you please me enough...I can put
in a good word for you with the Sisters. I'll even lie...I'll tell
them you actually HAVE a functional penis.
--
Reverend Mutha Tarla, Little Sisters of the Perpetually Juicy,
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Sternodox <glatter@delphi.com>
Give it up GGG. These lame FUCKWADS aren't worth it. They're FUCKING
PINK alright. And Joe, I don't think these FART-VACUUMS could LICK
their way to your asshole if they had a Michelin ZIT-MAP, that's how
fucking STUPID they are. Hell, let's just go back to the original plan,
have Dokstok at Laguna Colorada (en Salar de Uyuni) and play a couple
of rounds of UZI-GOLF after the Bobbie-Dump. alt.pinkboy is TOO KIND
FOR THESE FUCKS. (But, I'll tell ya what: If you REALLY want to
see some fucking ACTION, check out the newsgroup sci.math!! Man, those
fuckers ROCK! In fact, EVERYBODY start cross-posting EVERYTHING to those
NET HEROES at sci.math!) Meanwhile, the Bobbie-pstench here at alt.slack
is beginning to overwhelm me a bit ... gotta go FRY SOME (insert ANY
letter here ... ) __ P!!!!!!
Spermy
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: gggor@io.com (gggor)
In article <3qm0it$o4r@giga.bga.com>, gunther@bga.com (Joe Newman) says:
>
>Alas, dear Gordon, it is I who owes the debt. I had let down my guard;
>allowed my hate to attenuate; became transmogrified by an inexplicable
>wave of tolerance made possible only by the fact that I am not looking
>these jackasses in their dopey, grinning, deer-in-the-headlights faces.
>
>Let us vow afresh to despise these young shit mongrels. Nay, let us
>hate them. Let us hate them for their ignorance. Let us hate them for
>their hair styles. But most importantly, let us hate them for their
>willingness to continue existing in the universe which we inhabit.
>
>We'll move forward now, dear Gordon. You with your corn cob, and I
>with my freshly cleared pus tunnels, and take back what has been
>stolen from us. But only if we decide it's worth taking back.
>
>-Joe Newman
Oh Joe, thank you for your understanding and support. Yessss, hate
for such as those who might read this is the only answer. But we must not hate
them simply because they are young, callow, geeky, pink little assouls
we must hate them for their very existence, we must hate then until they
dissolve into puddles of pink protoplasm and then mop them all up and
squeeze them into the rectal cavity of a gangrenous, syphlitic wannabebob
so they will spend the rest of their fluid existences in the kind of deep,
dark hole they deserve.
GG Gordon
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: saint@prairienet.org (Andrew Matthews)
In a previous article, gggor@io.com (gggor) says:
>In article <hS6-cn2.glatter@delphi.com>, Sternodox <glatter@delphi.com>
says: >>
>>Hey GGG, these fucking alt.slack.pink.shit.eaters.n.slug.fuckers don't have
>>a fucking CLUE. NOT CLUE ONE! So ... I'm going to SAY it. Here goes:
>>These fucking alt.slack.pinks are ALL Cambas de Mierdas y Collas
>>de Hijos de Putas. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! They're ALL fucked and
>>no matter HOW BIG THEY TALK, they STILL ain't comin' to Dokstok.
>>HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
>>Sternodox
> YOU FORGOT'HIJOS DE LA MADRE DE MIL HIJOS DA PUTAS, NOT
>TO MENTION THAT THEY SIMPLY JUST FUCKED UP!
>GG
Ha! But, wait a minute there, Gordon & Sterno... Just
hold your horses... You thought you were gonna do some
acid and read some alt.slack postings, didn't ya?
Ho ho ho! You fucked up, boys. You fucked up bad.
Ultravomitsaurus switched sides after Care Maggot and
Pee Dog decided to join the New Breed. They saw which
side of the Schroedinger's Cat was buttered. They saw
who was going to throw the '96 "Bob"-A-Que... They cared
not for the Imaginary '95 Dokstok.
You don't have your big friends-o'-JHVH anymore to stick
up for you. They snitched, skitched, and switched to the
opposite team... Be smart, boppers... be smart all the
way back to Coney Island...
"Gimme a hamburger. Wrath-O-Yahweh style. I'm gonna
eat the hell out of it..." - Pope Phred, Ogyr Network.
Remember when he said that a year from now, Gordon?
Oh yeah, forgot. Time's LINEAR for you, isn't it?
st. andrew, ksc
Ultravomitsaurus is feeling a bit queasy...
--
$aint @ndrew, KSC. Campus Chaplain of Miskatonic University. Ogyr Network.
contact: snail-mail = PO BOX 53, PLAINFIELD, IL. 60544
email: saint@firefly.prairienet.org or saint_andrew@anl.gov
www: http://www.paranoia.com/coe/resources/saint.html
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: pkitty@netcom.com (Purple Kitty)
Lou Duchez (ljduchez@en.com) wrote:
: In article <p07fNGc.glatter@delphi.com>, Sternodox <glatter@delphi.com> wrote:
: > Hey GGG, these FUCKIN' SHITHEELS at alt.slack wouldn't know a
: > fucking N.P.-split-poon-spanker-jizz-frolic if it snuck up on
: > 'em and fucked 'em in the BUTT.
: Probably true. But oddly enough, I find forms of Slack that work for me.
Well I guess YOU'VE got it ass-backwards! You're not supposed to find
Slack that works okay for you! You're supposed to find Slack that these
high ApoStleS APPROVE OF! Now go out, listen to Sterno, and bring back
some Slack that GGG approves of. I don't care if YOU don't find the Slack
in a NP-splitpoonspankerjizzfrolic...that's your fault for not following
orders.
Rev Pee Kitty
--
Meow!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: bdb@shadow.net (Doktor BoogieDown)
Sternodox <glatter@delphi.com> wrote:
>Hey GGG, these fucking alt.slack.pink.shit.eaters.n.slug.fuckers don't have
>a fucking CLUE. NOT CLUE ONE! So ... I'm going to SAY it. Here goes:
>These fucking alt.slack.pinks are ALL Cambas de Mierdas y Collas
>de Hijos de Putas. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! They're ALL fucked and
>no matter HOW BIG THEY TALK, they STILL ain't comin' to Dokstok.
As if HAVING a clue would be a BETTER SOLUTION! Doctrine Numero Uno is to
PULL THE WOOL over your OWN eyes. I do it all the time, every time, some
time, father time! Dokstok is a SHAM, a TRAVESTY, an utter waste of
BOBYONS. Come up with something FRAGGIN NEW! Dokstok has been done
before, why try to do it yet AGAIN? Replicant. Engorge yourself on
the creative juices of the PHALLUS of CHANGE, not the BUNGHOLE of STAGNATION.
BoogieDown
-----
GCS d-- H s++: !g p? au+ a- w++ v+ C++++$ U/B/L/A/V/H/S/C+$ P+ L 3 E-
N++ K-- W++(95) !M(+) V -po+ Y++ t+++ 5 j R+ G+ tv(--) b++ D++ B---
e+ u* @h- f r++ n+ y++
bdb@shadow.net - Brian.D.Bisson@Miami.FL.USA.Earth.Sol.mway
Doktor, Church of the SubGenius - #include <ordainshipscription.h>
Excrimeditated Congregation of the Overinflated Head of L. Ron Hubbard
HTTP://www.shadow.net./~bdb for a dose of SubMediaBlasphemeWorship
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From: i.stang@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
Ge-YAWD DAY-em, I just finished reading the entire 2-week alt.pinkboy
thread at once, and I must say, my experiment really DID work!
Lurker Stang
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From: bmyers@ionet.net (TarlaStar)
I hate to say this...but does anyone aside from myself notice a sudden
resemblence between Stang and ...Woody from a.r.s.?
--
Reverend Mutha Tarla, Little Sisters of the Perpetually Juicy,
A Proud Jism Schism of the Church of the SubGenius, Worshipping
"Connie" Dobbs and Juicy Retardo since 1986
http://www.ionet.net/~bmyers/homepage.html
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From: ljduchez@en.com (Lou Duchez)
This does nothing but spread hate. It should not be on the Internet.
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From: <Unknown> (gggor)
In article <p07fNGc.glatter@delphi.com>, Sternodox <glatter@delphi.com> says:
>
>Hey GGG, these FUCKIN' SHITHEELS at alt.slack wouldn't know a
>fucking N.P.-split-poon-spanker-jizz-frolic if it snuck up on
>'em and fucked 'em in the BUTT.
>Rev. STERN (Hate 'Em ALL) Dox
I applaud your sentiment you scabrous,addled but nonetheless
puissant pope of the green purgatory of the savage heart of...etc.et. al
and we can rest assured that these glowing, verptilian bobbyites will
spend all of their afterlives being subjected to eternal physical and mental
agony of the most intolerable form as Janor applies the PAIN/HATE
DEVICE. Oh what a lovely splitting that shall be A RENDING OF NEAROLES,
AND REMOVAL OF THE BRAINS. I can hear their snorting, whining pinky-squeals as the
great beast of Dobbs snarfles their asses, lovingly felching them with his tungsten-carbide tongue.
aH YESSSSS!!! The harveSt dear Sterno, you raddled old satchel-assed
poebucker from the savage heart of the interior mind of the underbelly
of the American pie. Let us swear now and forever to abnegate, shun and
possibly even destroy the likes of these assouls, mediocetins and shameless drone-bobby
wannabees..leave these lumbricord lob-lollies and continue THE GREAT
WORK on sci.math.. they are not worthy of our hate..let alone enpi`.
Ah yes, to be back in Cochabamba when the ordinance was a'poppin...back
when the ONE TRUE CHURCH was just limping alone like a poorly
nourished dinosaur with a bad case of the Piles...yeah, back when it was
profits rather that prophets...before Philo's head got funny looking
and Stang went into Showbiz..back when we ALL had chainsaws and the Book,
when whe stepped up boldly and stripped back the ecosphere down to the
bedrock to see what we had that was worth ANYTHING! Desenrollomente,
derechos del exploitacion...Back when the card said OVERMAN and that
was all...And what are they doing now Sterno? These new apostles and
preachers and ranters...how many of them wear black and suck down
cappucinos... buy those cool clothes that you wear to prove that you are
against THE CON?? How big and hard is their collection of cool comic books??
I ask you and the few others who know the touch of Dobbs...what has
happened? Is this what it has turned into? Strutting electronic alter-egos
sniping-carping-pissing and moaning while wearing their "Bob"Hats on
backwards...They still think this church is some cool kind of a Joke.
They don't know Salvation when it's offered to them and wouldn't know
SLACK if it slithered up their butts like an evil snake in the night.
This concatenation of overaged teeneagers, children of privileged
childhoods who think the word of Dobbs is just weak punchline for dopesmoking
postadolescents who have absolutely no idea of the kind of forces they are
involved in; it is good that the majority of them stay here on this
newsgroup..locked into their masturbatory little wordgames. For, if any of
them were to understand what the hell was really going on they would
shrivel and melt and just fade away...but then I guess most of them
never have heard from THE MANAGEMENT!
I say.. wear their guts for neckties, warm our hands in their bowels
and then let us squat in Hell together and gnaw most noisomely and sup upon the pink, contaminated
livers, growing stronger as we take in their concentrated pink poisons
and with our HATE transform the nature of such toxic life-essences
into endless, boundless, blissful SLACK; surfing the luck-plne quantum foam with
the heterodobbsine receivers of our souls tuned into that great,
realtime,Jahweh Uno-endorsed, old-time BEACON OF "BOB" sending out
His Mighty Message...etc, et al, ad nausea.I mean you get the message
or you don't...depending on the Medium of course...
FUCKEMIFTHEYCAN'TTAKEAJOKE!!!
Nothing worse than a self-righteous BOBBY.
GG (you just don't get it) GORDON, M.M. P.O.S.H.
LFoD..GREENHELLE INC., PTY. LTD.
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From: bmyers@ionet.net (TarlaStar)
Excuse me, Mr. I'll tell everyone ELSE around here how to behave after
I just showed up? I think you have your ass on backwards this morning
GG. Allow ME to explain something to YOU. You don't fucking threaten
ME with anything, you got that? You don't call me Pink or a Bobbie or
anything less respectful than "Mistress"...because I don't take shit
from some has-been who can barely handle "one of them there fancy
cumputer thingys." Nice of you to FINALLY figure it out...But I guess
I should have figured that giving a DOKTOR anything more complicated
than toilet paper would cause seizures. Obviously it has. You've had
Dobbs so far up your colon for so long, you don't even recognise that
he's moved in all of his furniture and is papering the walls of your
lower intestine...in fucking Laura Ashley floral prints, you weak
suck! I'd bitch-slap you bloody, but you're too far gone for it to do
any good. Oh and while I'm at it let me also inform you that I'll wear
whatever I damned well please, including your ass for a hat.
Child of privilege? Child of PRIVILEGE? Gimme a break here, GG. Pull
yer head out of Sterno's butt condo fer jiz a minute...I grew up in
the DESERT. We ate three day dead iguana on HOLIDAYS. Do you know how
hard it is to get enough tarantulas to make a decent meal? WE ATE
SAND. I used to shit sand castles for a little spare change. I walked
through burning sands uphill in both directions to get to a one-room
schoolhouse where I stoked the boiler for six hours before I was
allowed to learn to read and spell by licking the chalkboard clean.
Child of Privilege, my bleeding ass! You probably grew up in a HOUSE,
you pathetic whiner.
Heard from the MANAGEMENT? By the glowing balls of Robert Oppenheimer,
Boy..I BLOW THE MANAGEMENT. That's why I was being pampered in
Kentucky while you were still here crying to Sterno about how PINK
your world seems to be. When you have Dobbs up your ass, in your
mouth, and filling your cootchie-pop all at the same time, then you
can come back to me and talk about MEETING the MANAGEMENT.
Now, give us a kiss, and run along and play nicely with the other
boys.
--
Reverend Mutha Tarla, Little Sisters of the Perpetually Juicy,
A Proud Jism Schism of the Church of the SubGenius, Worshipping
"Connie" Dobbs and Juicy Retardo since 1986
http://www.ionet.net/~bmyers/homepage.html
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: <Unknown> (gggor)
pkitty@netcom.com (Purple Kitty) says:
>
>Well I guess YOU'VE got it ass-backwards! You're not supposed to find
>Slack that works okay for you! You're supposed to find Slack that these
>high ApoStleS APPROVE OF! Now go out, listen to Sterno, and bring back
>some Slack that GGG approves of. I don't care if YOU don't find the Slack
>in a NP-splitpoonspankerjizzfrolic...that's your fault for not following
>orders.
>
>Rev Pee Kitty
Exactly right RPK...if it ain't Dobbs approved Slack it ain't real
Slack, now let's see them reel at the implications of that. Goddammit
this is a religion not a democracy...
ggg
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From: anarch@cse.ucsc.edu (Anarch)
gggor wrote:
>How big and hard is their collection of cool comic books??
Well, it wouldn't be much bigger, but my comic collection would be a hell
of a lot COOLER if I were to receive the "Bob's" Favorite Comics I
ordered...ANOTHER item that I *could* get right down the street, but which
I elected to order direct from the Foundation instead, because I figured
they'd get MORE MONEY on the deal. But has my magnaminity been rewarded?
No. Nothing but silence and empty mailboxes for ME, thank you. Oh well.
Clearly my local Luck Plane is bent out of shape lately...things COULD be
worse, I suppose. Who knows what those cops might have done if I HADN'T
sent in my money?
anarch@cse.ucsc.edu +-+-+ Just because it's a JOKE doesn't mean it's not TRUE
D I S C L A I M E R : E V E R Y T H I N G I W R I T E I S F A L S E
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Subject: Re: ZC ~ ggg PUBLIC CHALLENGE!
From: gggor@io.com (gggor)
In article <3qjui5$4f5@newsbf02.news.aol.com>, stimpynren@aol.com (StimpyNRen) says:
>
>"Sans eyes, sans teeth, sans taste, sans everything."
>
>You're old, G.Gordon Gordon. Step down and let the NEW BLOOD of SubGenius
>Yeti Inheritors take over. We're not here to entertain YOU. You've been
>placed in existence to entertain US! You don't buy tapes that have my
>voice in them, but I've bought tapes that have YOUR voice on them, and I
>WAS entertained by them. This means you have always served as a slave to
>the slackvampirific qualities of the NEW GENERATION of SubGeniuses. You
>and ALL the "Apostles". The first generation had their hey day. Now you
>exist to serve us. So watch the whip, GGG, and dance for me! Dance for ALL
>SubGeniuses of the post 1984 initiates! YOUR BOB DIED IN 1984! You and
>your conspirators killed him on stage in California before thousands of
>witnesses. It is time for the Next Generation to breathe life into BOB
>again!
>
>And it won't be with HATE! It will be with thousands of liters of molten
>chocolate! PRAISE THE CHOCOLATE COVERED DOBBSHEAD! LAUNCH THE BLEEDING
>HEAD OF g.gordon gordon! KILL BARNEY THE DINOSAUR! LARRY HAGMAN'S GHOST
>DIED TO SAVE OUR SINUSES! PRAISE BOB!
>
>You want a war, Gordon? You want to expend the last ounce of hate your
>tired old body has left? We of the NEW BOB DOBBS will wear you down and
>then dance on your grave.
>
>True initiates of the post 1984 generation of SubGeniuses worship a Bob
>Dobbs that DUCKED. His Nental Ife penetrated the body of a cockroach and
>he GOT AWAY and he STILL LIVES! Our Bob's not dead! Is YOURS!!?
(YAWN) YOUR "Bob"? Oh I see....
GGG
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