I might be crucified, but...

From: madiranlc@aol.com (MadIranLC)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, Nov 22, 1999 4:59 PM
Message-ID: <19991122175914.00291.00000883@ng-fk1.aol.com>

I miht be crucified for asking this, but, what exactly is the Church of
SubGenius, or whatever? It seems weird to me, sorta like Scientology.
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Subject: Re: I might be crucified, but...
From: nu-monet <nothing@succeeds.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: like.excess@sex.org
Date: Mon, Nov 22, 1999 5:22 PM
Message-ID: <3839D024.2798@succeeds.com>

MadIranLC wrote:
>
> I miht be crucified for asking this, but, what exactly is the Church of
> SubGenius, or whatever? It seems weird to me, sorta like Scientology.

We are a very rigidly ordered hierarchical orthodoxy, with strict
tenets, doctrines and obeisances whose judicial practice accompanied
by personal sacrifice and mortification of the flesh will guarantee
that we are magically transported to the pleasure saucers of the
love goddesses from planet X, given the intercession of our savior,
known in his earthly incarnation as J.R. "Bob" Dobbs for the sake of
our genetic heritage as Yetisyny Superior and a small monetary
contribution of $30 in support of HIS church, on or about nX-Day,
at which time the remainder of the planet will be reduced to a
smoking pile of poo-poo in space. Or kill us.

Next question?
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Subject: Re: I might be crucified, but...
From: Unit 4 <UnitIV@SPUTUM.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: unit4@sputum.com
Date: Mon, Nov 22, 1999 11:18 PM
Message-ID: <eq8k3s0qee9jsm6jqb2mel7ccb4t4tn7vk@4ax.com>

On 22 Nov 1999 22:59:14 GMT, madiranlc@aol.com (MadIranLC) wrote, in
alt.slack:

^I miht be crucified for asking this, but, what exactly is the Church of
^SubGenius, or whatever? It seems weird to me, sorta like Scientology.

www.subgenius.com

Scientology?

Posers.
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Subject: Re: I might be crucified, but...
From: thaeloblue@aol.com (ThaeloBlue)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Nov 23, 1999 11:10 AM
Message-ID: <19991123121016.12370.00001192@ng-cj1.aol.com>

:::just looks him up and down and cackles maniacally:::: Just you wait,
PinkBoy....
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Subject: Re: I might be crucified, but...
From: "Andrew Sewell" <Arsewell@Tomah.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Nov 23, 1999 4:59 PM
Message-ID: <81f60b022rj@enews4.newsguy.com>

MadIranLC wrote in message <19991122175914.00291.00000883@ng-fk1.aol.com>...
>I miht be crucified for asking this, but, what exactly is the Church of
>SubGenius, or whatever? It seems weird to me, sorta like Scientology.

I'll be over in a few minutes with the nails, but maybe ic ould borrow your
hammer and a couple of 2x4s? I swear I'll give 'em right back...Rev.
Semillama
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Subject: Re: I might be crucified, but...
From: Charles Mark Bee <c-bee1@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Nov 24, 1999 12:22 AM
Message-ID: <383B8432.697C409F@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu>

Andrew Sewell wrote:
>
> MadIranLC wrote in message
> <19991122175914.00291.00000883@ng-fk1.aol.com>...
> >I miht be crucified for asking this, but, what exactly is the Church
> of
> >SubGenius, or whatever? It seems weird to me, sorta like Scientology.
>
> I'll be over in a few minutes with the nails, but maybe ic ould borrow
> your
> hammer and a couple of 2x4s? I swear I'll give 'em right back...Rev.
> Semillama

Don't do it, dude.

Ya gotta use 4x4's for the uprights. Trust me.
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Subject: Re: I might be crucified, but...
From: mizuno333 <luna_tic333@yahoo.co.uk>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Nov 24, 1999 12:17 AM
Message-ID: <136f266c.0dd19667@usw-ex0102-014.remarq.com>

Well, what you SHOULD do is send $1 to the sacred P.O. Box of Dobbs
'PO BOX 140306 - Dallas, TX 75214'; then he will send you back a
pamplet that explains EVERYTHING in return. But what the hell, now that
we have the internet, commerce as we know it(beyond the bare
neccesities of food and computers) will soon collapse; so why don't you
just look at the pamplet online right here:
http://www.subgenius.com/pam1/pamphlet.html If you really want to
understand it, you have to be a subgenius. I suggest you purchase The
Book of the SubGenius (which can be bought online here:
http://www.subgenius.com/scatalog/books.htm ) if you truly need proof
of the church's power and immensity- then you will relaize the
monsterious reality that is The Church of the SubGenius! -WHAT THE HELL
WAS THAT?! They're brain washing has made me into a salesman! Look at
me! I'm trying to get someone to give money to "Bob", but none me! This
is insane...

* Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet's Discussion Network *
The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet - Free!
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: I might be crucified, but...
From: "Keith Smith" <vinylnut@uswest.net>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Nov 24, 1999 12:36 AM
Message-ID: <SIL_3.2739$1A1.71826@news.uswest.net>

MadIranLC <madiranlc@aol.com> wrote in message
news:19991122175914.00291.00000883@ng-fk1.aol.com...
> I miht be crucified for asking this, but, what exactly is the Church of
> SubGenius, or whatever? It seems weird to me, sorta like Scientology.

Mostly cartoon veiwers, *Yawn*.

The Maid.
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Subject: Re: I might be crucified, but...
From: Popess Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Nov 24, 1999 2:03 AM
Message-ID: <241119990003484500%lilith@ZubJenius.com>

In article <19991122175914.00291.00000883@ng-fk1.aol.com>, MadIranLC
<madiranlc@aol.com> wrote:

> I miht be crucified for asking this

BTW, you might *well* get crucified by us, but you gotta be FAMOUS to
get that kind of star treatment. We've been crucifixion-free for over
two years--take that as you will.

The Prophet Lilith

--
====== Popess Lilith von Fraumench * http://www.foolspress.com ======
===== Stage Manager Of The EndTimes * Correctional Phrenologist =====
== Seattle SubGenii! We are the future! http://ssucc.ragnarokr.com ==
========= Destroy reality for Kani! KANI-MA! UGHA BHUGHA!!! =========
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: I might be crucified, but...
From: geoff.bronner@dartmouth.edu (Geoffrey V. Bronner)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Nov 24, 1999 8:15 AM
Message-ID: <geoff.bronner-ya02408000R2411990915380001@news.dartmouth.edu>

The Scientologists are posers... why pay them $300,000 to get brainwashed
when you can just pay "Bob" $30 for eternal salvation?

-G
--

Cerebus for Dictator in 2000!!!
He doesn't love you, he just wants all of your money.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: I might be crucified, but...
From: Popess Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Nov 24, 1999 12:32 PM
Message-ID: <241119991032353194%lilith@ZubJenius.com>

In article <19991122175914.00291.00000883@ng-fk1.aol.com>, MadIranLC
<madiranlc@aol.com> wrote:

> I miht be crucified for asking this, but, what exactly is the Church of
> SubGenius, or whatever? It seems weird to me, sorta like Scientology.

Yeah, sorta like Scientology. It's like comparing a free-form jam
session with a player piano, though.

There'll be explanations upon explanations, as always, and all of them
will be RIGHT, if not CORRECT. Just remember, we're just another
religion, and do pointless things and believe idiotic notions with the
best of them.

The Prophet Lilith

Subject: Re: I might be crucified, but...
From: Glenn Knickerbocker <NotR@bestweb.net>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Nov 24, 1999 1:31 PM
Message-ID: <Qzw8OEgysJ490uc+Sjp1jg0Bonw+@4ax.com>

On 22 Nov 1999 22:59:14 GMT, MadIranLC wrote:
>I miht be crucified for asking this, but, what exactly is the Church of
>SubGenius, or whatever? It seems weird to me, sorta like Scientology.

We would never crucify you. We would simply pile you on top of a trillion
other evil people and set off hundreds of atom bombs all around you,
trapping your souls in the earth for 75 billion years. Then the
Scientologists would spend years, and hundreds of thousands of dollars,
struggling to undo the whole process using only cheap ohmmeter-type lie
detectors.

!R http://members.aol.com/notr/dreams.poems.html
"They must be mad. They sing choruses in public!"
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Subject: Re: I might be crucified, but...
From: NENSLO <nenslo@tamagotchi.zzn.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Nov 24, 1999 7:42 AM
Message-ID: <383BEB59.B26@tamagotchi.zzn.com>

Apt Analogy! Scientology is all kinda vague and loosey-goosey, you
never know which engrams you're gonna clear, and The Church of the
SubGenius is carefully preprogrammed for optimal results, and every time
you run it through your brain it leaves exactly the same pattern.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: I might be crucified, but...
From: Rev Chuck <cdub@erols.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Nov 24, 1999 9:37 PM
Message-ID: <383CAF03.7476@erols.com>

Popess Lilith von Fraumench wrote:
>
> In article <19991122175914.00291.00000883@ng-fk1.aol.com>, MadIranLC
> <madiranlc@aol.com> wrote:
>
> > I miht be crucified for asking this, but, what exactly is the Church of
> > SubGenius, or whatever? It seems weird to me, sorta like Scientology.
>
> Yeah, sorta like Scientology. It's like comparing a free-form jam
> session with a player piano, though.
>
> There'll be explanations upon explanations, as always, and all of them
> will be RIGHT, if not CORRECT. Just remember, we're just another
> religion, and do pointless things and believe idiotic notions with the
> best of them.
>
> The Prophet Lilith

Significant too, that "Bob" founded both churches.

>
> --
> ====== Popess Lilith von Fraumench * http://www.foolspress.com ======
> ===== Stage Manager Of The EndTimes * Correctional Phrenologist =====
> == Seattle SubGenii! We are the future! http://ssucc.ragnarokr.com ==
> ========= Destroy reality for Kani! KANI-MA! UGHA BHUGHA!!! =========
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: I might be crucified, but...
From: prostata@bronze.coil.com (The WRONG Rev. Prostata Cantata)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Nov 25, 1999 11:16 PM
Message-ID: <81l534$2ig$1@news.concourse.com>

In article <241119990003484500%lilith@ZubJenius.com>,
Popess Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com> wrote:
>In article <19991122175914.00291.00000883@ng-fk1.aol.com>, MadIranLC
><madiranlc@aol.com> wrote:
>
>> I miht be crucified for asking this
>
>BTW, you might *well* get crucified by us, but you gotta be FAMOUS to
>get that kind of star treatment. We've been crucifixion-free for over
>two years--take that as you will.

I take that to mean it's about time for another one.
--
----------Sjöberg's Law of Usenet Filtering--------------------------
If you ignore any Usenet posting which has five or more sentences in
all caps, is crossposted to five or more newsgroups, or has five or more
levels of quoting, the result is lossless compression of information.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: I might be crucified, but...
From: Popess Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Nov 26, 1999 2:37 AM
Message-ID: <261119990037110548%lilith@ZubJenius.com>

In article <81l534$2ig$1@news.concourse.com>, The WRONG Rev. Prostata
Cantata <prostata@bronze.coil.com> wrote:

> In article <241119990003484500%lilith@ZubJenius.com>,
> Popess Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com> wrote:
> >In article <19991122175914.00291.00000883@ng-fk1.aol.com>, MadIranLC
> ><madiranlc@aol.com> wrote:
> >
> >> I miht be crucified for asking this
> >
> >BTW, you might *well* get crucified by us, but you gotta be FAMOUS to
> >get that kind of star treatment. We've been crucifixion-free for over
> >two years--take that as you will.
>
> I take that to mean it's about time for another one.

What, you think I keep track of shit like this?

The Prophet Lilith

Subject: Re: I might be crucified, but...
From: St. Chaos Israel <chaisrNOchSPAM@hotmail.com.invalid>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Nov 30, 1999 10:43 PM
Message-ID: <02000cac.e5226d68@usw-ex0101-004.remarq.com>

In article <19991122175914.00291.00000883@ng-fk1.aol.com>,
madiranlc@aol.com (MadIranLC) wrote:
> I miht be crucified for asking this, but, what exactly is the
> Church of
> SubGenius, or whatever? It seems weird to me, sorta like
> Scientology.

Any attempt to explain the Church will be contradicted by 50% of it's
members, ignored by 80%, and sodomized by the remainder.

Think of it as live role-playing. Without the roleplaying.

Or the life.

Gur Erireraq Qbpgbe Yvrhgranag Punbf Vfenry

Subject: Re: I might be crucified, but...
From: friday@fridayjones.com (Friday Jones)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Dec 1, 1999 5:15 AM
Message-ID: <friday-ya02408000R0112990715520001@news.tiac.net>

>In article <19991122175914.00291.00000883@ng-fk1.aol.com>,
>madiranlc@aol.com (MadIranLC) wrote:
>> I miht be crucified for asking this, but, what exactly is the
>> Church of
>> SubGenius, or whatever? It seems weird to me, sorta like
>> Scientology.

We're like Scientology, except that we're not.
In comparison, we're MUCH more affordable ... at first.

--
"I believe the children are our future: nasty, brutish and short."
-- The Onion
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: I might be crucified, but...
From: detornay@my-deja.com
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Dec 1, 1999 7:46 PM
Message-ID: <824j1u$b1m$1@nnrp1.deja.com>

> "I believe the children are our future: nasty, brutish and short."
> -- The Onion
>

Here is something fuuny:
http://www.effenheimer.com
Cats, cartoons, Beatles, apostles, satire, humor and love!

Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.

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