The ol' pumpkin yarn

Correspondent:: asscoassc@aol.com (AssCo Assc)
Date: 18 Oct 2004 03:15:41 GMT

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Police arrested a 52-year-old white male resident of
Ashtabula, OH, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. on Friday.
The suspect will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior,
public indecency, and public intoxication at the Ashtabula County
courthouse on Monday.

The suspect allegedly stated that as he
was passing a pumpkin patch, he decided to stop.

"You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, much like ...
well you know what ... and there was no one around here for
miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone
interview from jail.

The suspect went on to state that he pulled over to the
side of the road, picked out a pretty pumpkin that he
felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it,
and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need."

"I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented
with evident embarrassment. In the process, the suspect
apparently failed to notice the Ashtabula County police car
approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer
Brenda Murphy approached him.

"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer
Murphy.

"I walked up to the perpetrator and he was just working
away at this pumpkin."

Murphy went on to describe what happened when she
approached the suspect.

"I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize
that you are screwing a pumpkin?'

He got real surprised, as you'd expect, and then looked
me straight in the face and said, "Fuck you fucking
shit-cunted snot-hole!"

Correspondent:: "fenian d'illudium q-36, Rlari."
Date: Mon, 18 Oct 2004 05:44:15 -0400

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On 18 Oct 2004 03:15:41 GMT, asscoassc@aol.com (AssCo Assc) "Bob"
> He got real surprised, as you'd expect, and then looked
>me straight in the face and said, "Fuck you fucking
>shit-cunted snot-hole!"

Hmm...vegephilia...fuck you....must've been nenslo...

I'll just go and kick my own ass now, and scream FUCK YOU in the
mirror a few times...:)

Correspondent:: "paco"
Date: Mon, 18 Oct 2004 07:33:21 -0400

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"fenian d'illudium q-36, Rlari." wrote in message
news:jv37n01vval29b86qa4j98d5r3329qg62v@4ax.com...
> On 18 Oct 2004 03:15:41 GMT, asscoassc@aol.com (AssCo Assc) "Bob"
> > He got real surprised, as you'd expect, and then looked
> >me straight in the face and said, "Fuck you fucking
> >shit-cunted snot-hole!"
>
> Hmm...vegephilia...fuck you....must've been nenslo...
>
> I'll just go and kick my own ass now, and scream FUCK YOU in the
> mirror a few times...:)
>
>

veggisexual? and why not just use your hand? or find a willing
sexgoddess.

Correspondent:: nenslo
Date: Tue, 19 Oct 2004 11:24:25 -0700

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AssCo Assc wrote:
>
>
> "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, much like ...
> well you know what ... and there was no one around here for
> miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone
> interview from jail.
>
> The suspect went on to state that he pulled over to the
> side of the road, picked out a pretty pumpkin that he
> felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it,
> and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need."
>

And yet, anyone who has ever cut open a pumpkin knows that it is
actually just hard and cold inside and the hole you cut has sharp edges.
The so-called "soft and squishy" part consists of wet strings and seeds
suspended in an open space and bears no resemblance to "you know what."

VERISIMILITUDE.

Correspondent:: "nu-monet v7.0"
Date: Tue, 19 Oct 2004 11:42:52 -0700

--------
nenslo wrote:
>
> AssCo Assc wrote:
> >
> >
> > "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, much like ...
> > well you know what ... and there was no one around here for
> > miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone
> > interview from jail.
> >
> > The suspect went on to state that he pulled over to the
> > side of the road, picked out a pretty pumpkin that he
> > felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it,
> > and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need."
> >
>
> And yet, anyone who has ever cut open a pumpkin knows that
> it is actually just hard and cold inside and the hole you
> cut has sharp edges. The so-called "soft and squishy" part
> consists of wet strings and seeds suspended in an open space
> and bears no resemblance to "you know what."
>

Hard and cold with sharp edges and filled with wet
strings and seeds. Yep, I dated her.

--
"Slaughter the Infidels!"
--Abu Musab al-Zarqawi
"laughter the Infidels!"
--"Bob"

Correspondent:: König Prüß, GfbAEV
Date: Tue, 19 Oct 2004 20:14:31 GMT

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nenslo wrote:

> AssCo Assc wrote:
> >
> >
> > "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, much like ...
> > well you know what ... and there was no one around here for
> > miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone
> > interview from jail.
> >
> > The suspect went on to state that he pulled over to the
> > side of the road, picked out a pretty pumpkin that he
> > felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it,
> > and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need."
> >
>
> And yet, anyone who has ever cut open a pumpkin knows that it is
> actually just hard and cold inside and the hole you cut has sharp edges.
> The so-called "soft and squishy" part consists of wet strings and seeds
> suspended in an open space and bears no resemblance to "you know what."
>
> VERISIMILITUDE.

FLAPDOODLE

Correspondent:: Cardinal Vertigo
Date: Wed, 20 Oct 2004 04:40:13 GMT

--------
König Prüß wrote:
>
> nenslo wrote:
[snip]
>> And yet, anyone who has ever cut open a pumpkin knows that it is
>> actually just hard and cold inside and the hole you cut has sharp edges.
>> The so-called "soft and squishy" part consists of wet strings and seeds
>> suspended in an open space and bears no resemblance to "you know what."
>>
>> VERISIMILITUDE.
>
> FLAPDOODLE

POIGNANT.

Correspondent:: König Prüß, GfbAEV
Date: Wed, 20 Oct 2004 13:19:17 GMT

--------

Cardinal Vertigo wrote:

> König Prüß wrote:
> >
> > nenslo wrote:
> [snip]
> >> And yet, anyone who has ever cut open a pumpkin knows that it is
> >> actually just hard and cold inside and the hole you cut has sharp edges.
> >> The so-called "soft and squishy" part consists of wet strings and seeds
> >> suspended in an open space and bears no resemblance to "you know what."
> >>
> >> VERISIMILITUDE.
> >
> > FLAPDOODLE
>
> POIGNANT.

Well, all of the chicks around here seem to be filled
with stringy seed pulp.

Correspondent:: asscoassc@aol.com (AssCo Assc)
Date: 19 Oct 2004 22:32:31 GMT

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<< And yet, anyone who has ever cut open a pumpkin knows that it is actually
just hard and cold inside and the hole you cut has sharp edges.>>

Yeah, those edges sure do chafe yer
chumstump, don't they?

You should try grinding those down to a
smooth bullnosed edge with a Dutch cheese
grater.

< of wet strings and seeds suspended in an open
space and bears no resemblance to "you know what." >>

No "you know what" on THIS planet.