If I have to
Correspondent:: kdetal@aol.com (KD et al)
Date: 24 Oct 2004 15:08:46 GMT

--------
start calling people Fundamentalists as distinct from Christians so as not to
muddy the waters, does this mean I have to start calling everyone Subgenius
instead of Asshole?

I mean, I thought they were the same.
--
"Oh, hell, don't let them drink your tears and want more!..I'll be damned if
death wears MY sadness for glad rags. Don't feed them one damn
thing.."Nothing...funny.." "SURE there is! Me! You!..All of us!..Look!" -from
Something Wicked This Way Comes


Correspondent:: König Prüß, GfbAEV
Date: Sun, 24 Oct 2004 15:27:15 GMT

--------


KD et al wrote:

> start calling people Fundamentalists as distinct from Christians so as not to
> muddy the waters, does this mean I have to start calling everyone Subgenius
> instead of Asshole?
>
> I mean, I thought they were the same.
> --
>

Well, you could just call people theists or not.
There are many stripes of various philosophies
if it makes any difference at all. I differentiate
between Fundies and Unitarians, for example,
and refuse to call anyone an Evangelical: they're
just another flavor of Fundie. There are several
kinds of Buddhists, and tree-worshippers. For
example, there are those who praise the Linden
and those who laud the Larch. But if you look
closely, and poke it with a stick, I think you will
find that almost all religions have degenerated into
a basic kind of fetishism, at least at the rank-and-
file level, because of laziness and ignorance. There's
a cosmic struggle between karma and dogma. The
great curse of self-knowledge that began with the
first bite of the tree of knowledge is that we are a
tabla rasa and seek all manner of strange attire in order
to gird our loins.




Correspondent:: Cardinal Vertigo
Date: Sun, 24 Oct 2004 18:15:05 GMT

--------
König Prüß wrote:

> Well, you could just call people theists or not.
> There are many stripes of various philosophies
> if it makes any difference at all. I differentiate
> between Fundies and Unitarians, for example,
> and refuse to call anyone an Evangelical: they're
> just another flavor of Fundie.

There are different ways to interpret the doctrine of evangelism.

You can go the traditional Pauline route where evangelism means going
out and "saving souls for Jesus," or you can go the more progressive
route where evangelism means ACTUALLY HELPING PEOPLE.

Seems to me that the Jesus of the Gospels was a lot more into the
"actually helping people" style of evangelism - curing the sick and the
mentally ill, feeding the hungry, absolving the guilt-ridden, etc.


Correspondent:: "Anachron"
Date: Tue, 26 Oct 2004 04:55:33 GMT

--------
; "GfbAEV" wrote in message
news:417BC9CC.31E4FEF9@ranunculus.org...
>
> Well, you could just call people theists or not.
> There are many stripes of various philosophies
> if it makes any difference at all. I differentiate
> between Fundies and Unitarians, for example,
> and refuse to call anyone an Evangelical: they're
> just another flavor of Fundie. There are several
> kinds of Buddhists, and tree-worshippers. For
> example, there are those who praise the Linden
> and those who laud the Larch. But if you look
> closely, and poke it with a stick, I think you will
> find that almost all religions have degenerated into
> a basic kind of fetishism, at least at the rank-and-
> file level, because of laziness and ignorance. There's
> a cosmic struggle between karma and dogma. The
> great curse of self-knowledge that began with the
> first bite of the tree of knowledge is that we are a
> tabla rasa and seek all manner of strange attire in order
> to gird our loins.

That John Locke tabla rasa stuff is uh, looking kind of weak.
The latest theory is that humans are hard-wired for theism by genetics.
Believing in a sky-daddy who will take care of you is a great stress
reliever which must have some survival value. If it didn't it should have
been selected out of the gene pool by now. However theism also comes with a
price, especially when your holy man tells you god wants you to blow
yourself up in his service. This practice tends to slow down the
transmission of genetic material in its practitioners. Unfortunately they
fuck first, jihad (or crusade) second. Now if only we could reverse this
order of these activities we should be in great shape in 40 or 50
generations.

http://www.time.com/time/archive/preview/0,10987,1101041025-725072,00.html

The hard-wired theory is helping me to understand how fundie conservatives
can feel that the Iraq war is making them safe. No amount of information to
the contrary will change a genetically programmed belief system. You can't
update the prom bios of their meat-computer with software. Maybe shock
therapy would help with the re-wiring process. Hmmmm ...what if I could
infiltrate Diebold and wire the voting screen button labeled [BUSH-CHENNEY]
with a 50,000 volt charge? Oh shit. Diebold is run by a sick fuck Bush
lover. Better wear rubber boots and gloves when I go to vote.
--
Rev. Anachron




Correspondent:: König Prüß, GfbAEV
Date: Tue, 26 Oct 2004 05:44:47 GMT

--------


Anachron wrote:

> ; "GfbAEV" wrote in message
> news:417BC9CC.31E4FEF9@ranunculus.org...
> >
> > Well, you could just call people theists or not.
> > There are many stripes of various philosophies
> > if it makes any difference at all. I differentiate
> > between Fundies and Unitarians, for example,
> > and refuse to call anyone an Evangelical: they're
> > just another flavor of Fundie. There are several
> > kinds of Buddhists, and tree-worshippers. For
> > example, there are those who praise the Linden
> > and those who laud the Larch. But if you look
> > closely, and poke it with a stick, I think you will
> > find that almost all religions have degenerated into
> > a basic kind of fetishism, at least at the rank-and-
> > file level, because of laziness and ignorance. There's
> > a cosmic struggle between karma and dogma. The
> > great curse of self-knowledge that began with the
> > first bite of the tree of knowledge is that we are a
> > tabla rasa and seek all manner of strange attire in order
> > to gird our loins.
>
> That John Locke tabla rasa stuff is uh, looking kind of weak.
> The latest theory is that humans are hard-wired for theism by genetics.
> Believing in a sky-daddy who will take care of you is a great stress
> reliever which must have some survival value. If it didn't it should have
> been selected out of the gene pool by now. However theism also comes with a
> price, especially when your holy man tells you god wants you to blow
> yourself up in his service. This practice tends to slow down the
> transmission of genetic material in its practitioners. Unfortunately they
> fuck first, jihad (or crusade) second. Now if only we could reverse this
> order of these activities we should be in great shape in 40 or 50
> generations.
>
> http://www.time.com/time/archive/preview/0,10987,1101041025-725072,00.html
>
> The hard-wired theory is helping me to understand how fundie conservatives
> can feel that the Iraq war is making them safe. No amount of information to
> the contrary will change a genetically programmed belief system. You can't
> update the prom bios of their meat-computer with software. Maybe shock
> therapy would help with the re-wiring process. Hmmmm ...what if I could
> infiltrate Diebold and wire the voting screen button labeled [BUSH-CHENNEY]
> with a 50,000 volt charge? Oh shit. Diebold is run by a sick fuck Bush
> lover. Better wear rubber boots and gloves when I go to vote.
> --
> Rev. Anachron

I dunno 'bout the "hard-wired" part.
I know that it's quick and easy to stop
thinking and start making shit up.

But try a Google search for religion+insanity,
there's a lot of hits, and a whole lot written
about religion and it's relation to insanity.

I've seen some relating religious experience
to epileptic states, too. So, I would submit to
you that rather than being hard-wired, religion
is the result of faulty wiring and bad programming!

Google Search-religion+epilepsy=32,400 hits
Google Search-religion+insanity=84,800 hits



Correspondent:: "Anachron"
Date: Tue, 26 Oct 2004 14:15:16 GMT

--------
; "GfbAEV" wrote in message
news:417DE43D.E40E6FF4@Rununculus.org...

> I dunno 'bout the "hard-wired" part.
> I know that it's quick and easy to stop
> thinking and start making shit up.
>
> But try a Google search for religion+insanity,
> there's a lot of hits, and a whole lot written
> about religion and it's relation to insanity.
>
> I've seen some relating religious experience
> to epileptic states, too. So, I would submit to
> you that rather than being hard-wired, religion
> is the result of faulty wiring and bad programming!
>
> Google Search-religion+epilepsy=32,400 hits
> Google Search-religion+insanity=84,800 hits

That's all? The 'net is new, if it was 2000 years old you would need
scientific notation to express the hit count.

Religion is a self-reinforcing mass delusion. The Atheist is a threat to
the life of his meme. The believer would hate to think that he is wasting
time and money going to church every week so he tells himself even moral
non-believers go to the bad place. Usually when they give me some version
of Pascal's wager (wadda ya got to loose by believing?) I point out that
Allah says they have been very bad and that they are playing religious
roulette. Even got one to say 'yeah guess so.'

When will the infidels come to understand that there is only one true "Bob"
and he is available for $30 on the CoSG web site? Fools!

--
Rev. Anachron




Correspondent:: König Prüß, GfbAEV
Date: Tue, 26 Oct 2004 14:45:36 GMT

--------


Anachron wrote:

> ; "GfbAEV" wrote in message
> news:417DE43D.E40E6FF4@Rununculus.org...
>
> > I dunno 'bout the "hard-wired" part.
> > I know that it's quick and easy to stop
> > thinking and start making shit up.
> >
> > But try a Google search for religion+insanity,
> > there's a lot of hits, and a whole lot written
> > about religion and it's relation to insanity.
> >
> > I've seen some relating religious experience
> > to epileptic states, too. So, I would submit to
> > you that rather than being hard-wired, religion
> > is the result of faulty wiring and bad programming!
> >
> > Google Search-religion+epilepsy=32,400 hits
> > Google Search-religion+insanity=84,800 hits
>
> That's all? The 'net is new, if it was 2000 years old you would need
> scientific notation to express the hit count.
>
> Religion is a self-reinforcing mass delusion. The Atheist is a threat to
> the life of his meme. The believer would hate to think that he is wasting
> time and money going to church every week so he tells himself even moral
> non-believers go to the bad place. Usually when they give me some version
> of Pascal's wager (wadda ya got to loose by believing?) I point out that
> Allah says they have been very bad and that they are playing religious
> roulette. Even got one to say 'yeah guess so.'
>
> When will the infidels come to understand that there is only one true "Bob"
> and he is available for $30 on the CoSG web site? Fools!
>
> --
> Rev. Anachron

Yah, I'd look at religion in terms of memes
and group dynamics; a system that reinforces
in group/out group characteristics, and is coercive
regarding fidelity to group standards and behaviors.

I just was reading a bit about Jews/Christians/Moslems
and why they are not getting along: because there is a
linear derivation and similar elements. Anyway, I don't
see these guys fighting with the Buddhists or Hindus,
and the biggest fights seem to be over the smallest
differences. And oil--


This is an interesting bit, it assumes that America's fate
is welded to that of Israel--and about the "J-word"
The Arabs seem to be calling all enemies Jews.

"They call American soldiers 'The Jews,' as in, 'Don't go down that street, the
Jews set up a roadblock.' "

Me, I don't discriminate, I truly do hate everbody!

All y'all can go fuck yourselves!

October 24, 2004
OP-ED COLUMNIST
Jews, Israel and America
By THOMAS L. FRIEDMAN

I was speaking the other day with Scott Pelley of CBS News's "60 Minutes" about
the mood in Iraq. He had just returned from filming a piece there and he told
me something disturbing. Scott had gone around and asked Iraqis on the streets
what they called American troops - wondering if they had nicknames for us in
the way we used to call the Nazis "Krauts" or the Vietcong "Charlie." And what
did he find? "Many Iraqis have so much distrust for U.S. forces we found
they've come up with a nickname for our troops," Scott said. "They call
American soldiers 'The Jews,' as in, 'Don't go down that street, the Jews set
up a roadblock.' "

I have no idea how widespread this perception is, but it does not surprise me
that some Iraqis would talk that way. Our communications in Iraq have been so
inept since we arrived, many Iraqis still don't know who America is or why it
came. But such talk is also indicative of a trend in the Arab media, after a
century of Arab-Jewish strife, where if you want to brand someone as
illegitimate, just call him a "Jew." Indeed, this trend has widened since 9/11.
Now you find a steadily rising perception across the Arab-Muslim world that the
great enemy of Islam is JIA - "Jews, Israel and America," all lumped together
in a single threat.

This wider trend has been fanned by Arab satellite TV stations, which
deliberately show split-screen images of Israelis bashing Palestinians and U.S.
forces bashing the Iraqi insurgents. The trend has also been encouraged by some
mosque preachers looking to explain away all the Arab world's ills by wrapping
all the Satans together into JIA. This trend has been helped by the Bush team's
failed approach to the Arab-Israel problem, which is to tell the truth only to
Yasir Arafat, while embracing Ariel Sharon so tightly that it's impossible to
know anymore where U.S. policy stops and Mr. Sharon's begins.

This trend of JIA is now metastasizing from the core of the Arab-Israel
conflict, across the Muslim world and into Europe. There is no quick fix. One
thing that Israel can do is push harder to defuse the conflict with the
Palestinians in order to deprive the Arab media of the raw images that help to
feed this phenomenon, not because the continuing conflict is all Israel's fault
- it is not - but because Israel has such an overriding interest in forging a
partnership with a legitimate Palestinian Authority, and getting this poisonous
show off the air. A generation of Muslims raised on these images on the
Internet is enormously dangerous for Jews, Israel and America.

This brings us to this week's vote in the Israeli Parliament about whether to
proceed with Mr. Sharon's plan for a unilateral withdrawal from the Gaza Strip.
Mr. Sharon, a man of the right, has finally realized the demographic threat
posed by Gaza to Israel and wants to get out. He is being opposed by the
Israeli far right - the Jewish Hezbollah. This includes settler rabbis who have
urged soldiers to disobey orders and, with winks and nods, have let it be known
that if someone were to eliminate Ariel Sharon he would be acting out God's
will. In this struggle between Jewish fanatics and Ariel Sharon, we must stand
with Mr. Sharon. These settler rabbis are a blot on the Jewish people.

But in the struggle between Mr. Sharon and common sense, America should be with
common sense. The late Yitzhak Rabin wanted to get out of Gaza to make peace
with the Palestinians, because he understood the danger of "Jews, Israel and
America" all getting melded together in the nuclear age. Mr. Rabin knew that no
peace deal would resonate in the Arab-Muslim world if it did not have a
legitimate Palestinian partner. Mr. Sharon seems to want to get out of Gaza to
make peace with the Jews. His aides have made clear that he is getting out of
Gaza in order to entrench Israel even more deeply in the West Bank and the
Jewish settlements there.

In the face of this plan, the Bush team is silent. This is partly because the
Palestinians continue to stick with Arafat as their leader, even though this
bum has led them to ruin - so the U.S. has nothing to offer Israel. And it's
partly because the Bush team, which is so inept at diplomacy, has never had the
energy or creativity to shape a better Palestinian alternative to Arafat. As a
result, the Sharon vision of getting out of Gaza in order to take over the West
Bank will probably win by default. If that happens, "Jews, Israel and America"
will be bound together more tightly than ever as the enemies of Arabs and
Muslims.



Correspondent:: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)
Date: 26 Oct 2004 12:08:13 -0700

--------
König Prüß, GfbAEV wrote in message news:<417DE43D.E40E6FF4@Rununculus.org>...

> Google Search-religion+epilepsy=32,400 hits
> Google Search-religion+insanity=84,800 hits

Google Search-religion+insanity+SubGenius=533 hits

We're not only crazy, we're underachievers. Great, I'm a Pope in a
bogus religious cult made up of smirking assholes who are too lazy to
even mix UP the poison Flavor-Aid, much less drink it.

--

HellPope Huey
An overbite should be a dental condition
and not a personality flaw.

Marionette porn. Hooray.
-SubGenius Spice

"Hooters is the only restaurant where
if I find hair in my food, I keep it."
- Greg Giraldo

http://69.93.225.186/3661_eggsong.swf


Correspondent:: König Prüß, GfbAEV
Date: Tue, 26 Oct 2004 19:12:43 GMT

--------


HellPopeHuey wrote:

> König Prüß, GfbAEV wrote in message news:<417DE43D.E40E6FF4@Rununculus.org>...
>
> > Google Search-religion+epilepsy=32,400 hits
> > Google Search-religion+insanity=84,800 hits
>
> Google Search-religion+insanity+SubGenius=533 hits
>
> We're not only crazy, we're underachievers. Great, I'm a Pope in a
> bogus religious cult made up of smirking assholes who are too lazy to
> even mix UP the poison Flavor-Aid, much less drink it.
>
> --

Well, there's always "Lik-m-Aid!"



Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Wed, 27 Oct 2004 18:17:27 GMT

--------
In article <417EA1A6.F7F058ED@Rununculus.org>,
König Prüß, GfbAEV wrote:

> HellPopeHuey wrote:
>
> > König Prüß, GfbAEV wrote in message
> > news:<417DE43D.E40E6FF4@Rununculus.org>...
> >
> > > Google Search-religion+epilepsy=32,400 hits
> > > Google Search-religion+insanity=84,800 hits
> >
> > Google Search-religion+insanity+SubGenius=533 hits
> >
> > We're not only crazy, we're underachievers. Great, I'm a Pope in a
> > bogus religious cult made up of smirking assholes who are too lazy to
> > even mix UP the poison Flavor-Aid, much less drink it.
> >
> Well, there's always "Lik-m-Aid!"

Or failing that, a magnum of cheap gin and a galvanized tub to barf in.
Dip that shitty Pink neighbor's Yap-O-Matic dog in it, put him at the
front door, ring the bell and run away. With any luck, Rover will be
feeling friendly and do the Happity Lickity Dance on their face. See,
you don't need religion to be a crazy asshole.

--

HellPope Huey
This Halloween, I'm going as a drunken slut.
It worked great last year
and the costume looks exactly like my street clothes.

"If we're going to be damned,
let's be damned for what we really are. "
- "Star Trek: The Next Generation"

"We must find another brain."
- "Frankenstein"

GIVE BUSH A BRAIN game!
http://www.imgag.com/product/full/ap/3067907/graphic1.swf


Correspondent:: Cardinal Vertigo
Date: Wed, 27 Oct 2004 19:59:54 GMT

--------
HellPope Huey wrote:

> you don't need religion to be a crazy asshole.

.sig


Correspondent:: "ghost"
Date: Wed, 27 Oct 2004 17:15:21 GMT

--------

"Anachron" wrote:

(snip)

> That John Locke tabla rasa stuff is uh, looking kind of weak.
> The latest theory is that humans are hard-wired for theism by genetics.


Source?




Correspondent:: "ghost"
Date: Wed, 27 Oct 2004 17:20:37 GMT

--------

"ghost" wrote in message
news:JIQfd.787378$Gx4.130809@bgtnsc04-news.ops.worldnet.att.net...
>
> "Anachron" wrote:
>
> (snip)
>
> > That John Locke tabla rasa stuff is uh, looking kind of weak.
> > The latest theory is that humans are hard-wired for theism by genetics.
>
>
> Source?
>


I mean a REAL source, not one paragraph from a Time article.

Not being snippy, just interested.

Some neuropsych scientists theorize that what you learn and what you believe
hardwires your brain... developing deep brain structure in 1-3 year-old
humans




Correspondent:: mshotz@aol.commonkeypo (Rev. Richard Skull)
Date: 24 Oct 2004 18:20:08 GMT

--------
>start calling people Fundamentalists as distinct from Christians so as not to
>muddy the waters, does this mean I have to start calling everyone Subgenius
>instead of Asshole?
>
>I mean, I thought they were the same.

No. An Assshole does not know he/she is an asshole.

A Subgenius knows he/she is an asshole and works to prefect the science
everyday.


MSHOTZ: The Post Post Modern Man

"War hath no Fury like a non-combatants"

Charles E. Montague


Correspondent:: Zapanaz
Date: Sun, 24 Oct 2004 11:31:01 -0700

--------
On 24 Oct 2004 15:08:46 GMT, kdetal@aol.com (KD et al) wrote:

>start calling people Fundamentalists as distinct from Christians so as not to
>muddy the waters, does this mean I have to start calling everyone Subgenius
>instead of Asshole?
>
>I mean, I thought they were the same.

Having an effective vocabulary to desribe anything is always a bad
sign. Like Eskimos with 31 different words for "snow". It means
you've learned something that other people don't know but it also
means that you have been living around WAY TOO MUCH FUCKING SNOW.

And it also means that more and more people will have less and less
idea what you are talking about.

--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
If a foreign satellite accidentally cleaned a furtive abnormality, then the curious
ocean leaves.



Correspondent:: Cardinal Vertigo
Date: Sun, 24 Oct 2004 19:12:02 GMT

--------
Zapanaz wrote:
> you have been living around WAY TOO MUCH FUCKING SNOW.

Tell me about it.


Correspondent:: Cardinal Vertigo
Date: Sun, 24 Oct 2004 19:03:12 GMT

--------
KD et al wrote:
> start calling people Fundamentalists as distinct from Christians so as not to
> muddy the waters, does this mean I have to start calling everyone Subgenius
> instead of Asshole?

A fundamentalist Christian believes that every word of the Bible was
inspired literally and directly by Yahweh: that every event in the Bible
actually took place exactly as described, and that every word in the
Bible is just as God wanted it to be.

The problems with this mindset become screamingly obvious once you take
a casual flip through the pages of any translation of the Christian Bible.

There are two stories about of the creation of the world in the book of
Genesis. There's the "In the beginning" business in Genesis 1 which is
familiar to many, and then there's another, FACTUALLY CONFLICTING
account of the creation in Genesis 2.

Genesis 1 says Adam was created AFTER the world was in its current state
as we know it now (land, water, weather, plants, animals, etc.) Genesis
2 says Adam was created BEFORE the rain and the plants. You might think
most fundamentalist heads would explode at that point. I mean, not even
a thousand words into Genesis and already there's an irreconcilable
conflict. WHAT REALLY HAPPENED?

Fundamentalists have an incredibly high tolerance for cognitive
dissonance, apparently.

A non-fundamentalist Christian recognizes several facts which a
fundamentalist regards as heretical:

- Reason is an essential component of faith and is more important than
tradition.

- The books of the Bible have been retranslated and retranscribed by
fallible humans so many times that they are bound to contain many errors
of bias, judgment, and negligence.

- Many books in the Old Testament were passed down as oral history for
generations by fallible humans before they were ever even available in
any sort of written form.

- The process of the canonization of the Christian Bible -- the decision
about which writings would be considered "inspired" and which would be
rejected as heresy -- was carried out by fallible humans who were
capable of error.

Non-fundamentalists are also far more willing to recognize when a story
or a verse may not be at all applicable to modern life except in the
most allegorical sense, even if it made perfect sense to the fallible
human beings living in the place in space and time where the book was
written.

Most non-fundamentalist Christians are also fairly reluctant to publicly
discuss their beliefs, because of a difference of opinion about the
doctrine of evangelism (see my reply to numo). And most
non-fundamentalists are really, really, really sick of fundamentalism's
1800-year campaign to crap up what otherwise might be a pretty decent
little belief system.

Most intellectual theists, regardless of their particular faiths, are
really tired of the fundamentalists within it.

Fundamentalism's the enemy, not theism, but since a lot of intellectuals
only have a casual acquaintence with theology they fail to see any
difference between the two.

Even if you still think theism's the enemy, you have to admit that
getting rid of fundamentalism would fix a lot of theism's problems.


Correspondent:: Cardinal Vertigo
Date: Sun, 24 Oct 2004 19:21:34 GMT

--------
Cardinal Vertigo wrote:

> (see my reply to numo)

Konig, not numo. I'm not sure who I insulted there.


Correspondent:: König Prüß, GfbAEV
Date: Sun, 24 Oct 2004 20:01:18 GMT

--------


Cardinal Vertigo wrote:

> Cardinal Vertigo wrote:
>
> > (see my reply to numo)
>
> Konig, not numo. I'm not sure who I insulted there.

Not me! Or not I, if you prefer.

Ah, yes! "The Perils of Pauline!" one of my favorites.

Well, I favor a materialist approach, rather than a spiritual approach;

on the theory that with the body satisfied and desires slaked, one has
the time and inclination to ponder the imponderables.

But in general, my contacts with self-professed Evangelicals has
led me to think that they are the people who put the "duh!" in
"Praise the Lor-duh!" I swear, that's just how they say it! "Lor-duh!"

If everyone wants to go to Heaven, why is nobody in a hurry to get
there?

See, I don't want pie in the sky when I die, I want my pie now!

(Splat!)

I should have seen that coming!



Correspondent:: Cardinal Vertigo
Date: Sun, 24 Oct 2004 20:40:37 GMT

--------
König Prüß wrote:
>
> Cardinal Vertigo wrote:
>
>> Cardinal Vertigo wrote:
>>
>> > (see my reply to numo)
>>
>> Konig, not numo. I'm not sure who I insulted there.
>
> Not me! Or not I, if you prefer.
>
> Ah, yes! "The Perils of Pauline!" one of my favorites.
>
> Well, I favor a materialist approach, rather than a spiritual approach;
>
> on the theory that with the body satisfied and desires slaked, one has
> the time and inclination to ponder the imponderables.
>
> But in general, my contacts with self-professed Evangelicals has
> led me to think that they are the people who put the "duh!" in
> "Praise the Lor-duh!" I swear, that's just how they say it! "Lor-duh!"

Yeah.

Imagine if the Church of the SubGenius were co-opted by the CON to work
all sorts of disgusting evil.

Imagine if the BotSG were the best-selling book of all time, and you
could find one in every Pink's home and every motel drawer, and the CON
uses ultra-tech mind control to tell people what to think about what
they read, stealing back the Slack again as soon as it's generated and
twisting the word of "Bob" into something far more sinister.

Imagine if nearly ten percent of the channels on basic cable were
devoted to so-called SubGenius programming that had approximately
fuck-all to do with Slack as you and I understand it.

Imagine if there were a Campus Jihad for "Bob" on every college campus
in America, but only rich self-righteous white kids with absolutely no
Slack joined. Imagine if there were so-called SubGenius SCHOOLS that
churned out the saddest, most Slackless Conspiracy drones you ever met.

Imagine if there were a SubGenius cathedral on practically every street
corner, but precious few of the devivals held therein would even be
recognizable to you or I.

Imagine if an extremely vocal minority of these pseudo-SubGeniuses who
never once paid attention to a word that "Bob" said had managed to
infiltrate the government at the highest levels. Imagine if they were
currently engaged in a campaign to make their corrupted and revolting
version of the SubGenius faith the supreme law of the land.

Welcome to my world.


Correspondent:: König Prüß, GfbAEV
Date: Sun, 24 Oct 2004 22:09:59 GMT

--------


Cardinal Vertigo wrote:

> König Prüß wrote:
> >
> > Cardinal Vertigo wrote:
> >
> >> Cardinal Vertigo wrote:
> >>
> >> > (see my reply to numo)
> >>
> >> Konig, not numo. I'm not sure who I insulted there.
> >
> > Not me! Or not I, if you prefer.
> >
> > Ah, yes! "The Perils of Pauline!" one of my favorites.
> >
> > Well, I favor a materialist approach, rather than a spiritual approach;
> >
> > on the theory that with the body satisfied and desires slaked, one has
> > the time and inclination to ponder the imponderables.
> >
> > But in general, my contacts with self-professed Evangelicals has
> > led me to think that they are the people who put the "duh!" in
> > "Praise the Lor-duh!" I swear, that's just how they say it! "Lor-duh!"
>
> Yeah.
>
> Imagine if the Church of the SubGenius were co-opted by the CON to work
> all sorts of disgusting evil.
>
> Imagine if the BotSG were the best-selling book of all time, and you
> could find one in every Pink's home and every motel drawer, and the CON
> uses ultra-tech mind control to tell people what to think about what
> they read, stealing back the Slack again as soon as it's generated and
> twisting the word of "Bob" into something far more sinister.
>
> Imagine if nearly ten percent of the channels on basic cable were
> devoted to so-called SubGenius programming that had approximately
> fuck-all to do with Slack as you and I understand it.
>
> Imagine if there were a Campus Jihad for "Bob" on every college campus
> in America, but only rich self-righteous white kids with absolutely no
> Slack joined. Imagine if there were so-called SubGenius SCHOOLS that
> churned out the saddest, most Slackless Conspiracy drones you ever met.
>
> Imagine if there were a SubGenius cathedral on practically every street
> corner, but precious few of the devivals held therein would even be
> recognizable to you or I.
>
> Imagine if an extremely vocal minority of these pseudo-SubGeniuses who
> never once paid attention to a word that "Bob" said had managed to
> infiltrate the government at the highest levels. Imagine if they were
> currently engaged in a campaign to make their corrupted and revolting
> version of the SubGenius faith the supreme law of the land.
>
> Welcome to my world.

Well, yeah; that's sort of how I see what I guess was intended
to be a glorious spiritual gesture somehow corrupted into a base
cross-kissing bible-thumping fetishism. But it sounds more malevolent
when you say it. I've heard several times that bit about the deaf midgets
from hell, Swift and the "Confederacy of Dunces" guy and Crowley's
gang of ingnorant and malicious dwarves. Once I saw a play called
"The Revolution" in which everyone was the opposite of their stereotype,
the beautiful woman was cold as ice, the calculating engineer was scatter-
brained, so on...; I wonder if there is some mechanism at play like that?
I've heard it said that pacifists are so because they have violent urges and
understand violence all too well, perhaps PETA-types feel the joy of bloodlust

and the hunt, and televangelists cannot help but be money-grubbing hypocrites.



Correspondent:: Cardinal Vertigo
Date: Sun, 24 Oct 2004 22:34:28 GMT

--------
König Prüß wrote:
> Once I saw a play called
> "The Revolution" in which everyone was the opposite of their stereotype,
> the beautiful woman was cold as ice, the calculating engineer was scatter-
> brained, so on...; I wonder if there is some mechanism at play like that?
> I've heard it said that pacifists are so because they have violent urges and
> understand violence all too well, perhaps PETA-types feel the joy of bloodlust
> and the hunt, and televangelists cannot help but be money-grubbing hypocrites.

That explains nenslo, too.


Correspondent:: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)
Date: 24 Oct 2004 19:29:34 -0700

--------
Cardinal Vertigo wrote in message news:...
> König Prüß wrote:

> > Once I saw a play called
> > "The Revolution" in which everyone was the opposite of their stereotype,
> > the beautiful woman was cold as ice, the calculating engineer was scatter-
> > brained, so on...; I wonder if there is some mechanism at play like that?
> > I've heard it said that pacifists are so because they have violent urges and
> > understand violence all too well, perhaps PETA-types feel the joy of bloodlust
> > and the hunt, and televangelists cannot help but be money-grubbing hypocrites.
>
> That explains nenslo, too.

To whom?

--

HellPope Huey
I'm hopped up on goofballs
and I VOTED.

Praise boss when morning work bells chime
Praise him for bits of overtime
Praise him whose wars we love to fight
Praise him, fat leech and parasite
Amen.
- Utah Phillips

"What, me worry about YOU??
But I'm the Prezerdent!"
- Alfred E. Bush

http://www.godhatesshrimp.com/


Correspondent:: Cardinal Vertigo
Date: Sun, 24 Oct 2004 22:44:37 GMT

--------
König Prüß wrote:
> Once I saw a play called
> "The Revolution" in which everyone was the opposite of their stereotype,
> the beautiful woman was cold as ice, the calculating engineer was scatter-
> brained, so on...; I wonder if there is some mechanism at play like that?
> I've heard it said that pacifists are so because they have violent urges and
> understand violence all too well, perhaps PETA-types feel the joy of bloodlust
> and the hunt, and televangelists cannot help but be money-grubbing hypocrites.

I've never gotten to know any PETA-types or televangelists on an
intimate enough level that I thought I had a sense of what made them
tick, but I have gotten to know some really serious pacifists on that level.

And all of them had a really dark, twisted, fucked up side that they
didn't like other people to see. They weren't ashamed of it so much as
they just realized it freaked other people out and was sort of
maladaptive, so they kept it quiet and under control.

The only really serious pacifists who have let me in far enough to see
it were women, though, and most of the time the relationships were
intimate enough that they couldn't help but end up getting sexual at one
point or another, so I realize my observations here are far from scientific.

But there may be something to that idea.


Correspondent:: Zapanaz
Date: Sun, 24 Oct 2004 16:14:36 -0700

--------
On Sun, 24 Oct 2004 22:09:59 GMT, König Prüß, GfbAEV
wrote:

> I wonder if there is some mechanism at play like that?
>I've heard it said that pacifists are so because they have violent urges and
>understand violence all too well, perhaps PETA-types feel the joy of bloodlust
>
>and the hunt, and televangelists cannot help but be money-grubbing hypocrites.

Sometimes, maybe ... I have a hard time seeing Ghandi and the Dalai
Lama as secretly harboring a murderous blood-lust.

I think pacifists are often, as Vertigo says, people who understand
the reality of violence, but personally I think it very often comes
down to empathy. The bug in the software of the human brain which
allows people to see another person as being like themselves.

--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
"We have nothing to fear but the scary stuff."



Correspondent:: Cardinal Vertigo
Date: Sun, 24 Oct 2004 23:29:59 GMT

--------
Zapanaz wrote:
> On Sun, 24 Oct 2004 22:09:59 GMT, König Prüß, GfbAEV
> wrote:
>
>> I wonder if there is some mechanism at play like that?
>>I've heard it said that pacifists are so because they have violent urges and
>>understand violence all too well, perhaps PETA-types feel the joy of bloodlust
>>
>>and the hunt, and televangelists cannot help but be money-grubbing hypocrites.
>
> Sometimes, maybe ... I have a hard time seeing Ghandi and the Dalai
> Lama as secretly harboring a murderous blood-lust.

Yeah, but even Gandhi said "it is better to be violent, if there is
violence in our hearts, than to put on the cloak of nonviolence to cover
impotence," and he wasn't talking about erectile difficulties.


Correspondent:: König Prüß, GfbAEV
Date: Sun, 24 Oct 2004 23:49:51 GMT

--------


Cardinal Vertigo wrote:

> Zapanaz wrote:
> > On Sun, 24 Oct 2004 22:09:59 GMT, König Prüß, GfbAEV
> > wrote:
> >
> >> I wonder if there is some mechanism at play like that?
> >>I've heard it said that pacifists are so because they have violent urges and
> >>understand violence all too well, perhaps PETA-types feel the joy of bloodlust
> >>
> >>and the hunt, and televangelists cannot help but be money-grubbing hypocrites.
> >
> > Sometimes, maybe ... I have a hard time seeing Ghandi and the Dalai
> > Lama as secretly harboring a murderous blood-lust.
>
> Yeah, but even Gandhi said "it is better to be violent, if there is
> violence in our hearts, than to put on the cloak of nonviolence to cover
> impotence," and he wasn't talking about erectile difficulties.

There was one scene in "Ghandi" where all of the people were
walking up to get clubbed in the head by the British that didn't
make sense to me. If they didn't believe in violence, they shouldn't
have given themselves as objects of violence.

I don't think that the Dahli Lama is a realistic example because
his life situation is entirely contrived and artificial. I feel about as
friendly toward the Dahli Lama as I do toward the Pope, who
ought to get a large crucifix up the butt for being a sanctimonious,
pontificating, silk-wearing, incense-sniffing, pink-assed Polack.
Except that the Dahli Lama can get butt-raped by a Tiben yak,
just for cultural continuity. It's easy to sit on a satin pillow and
issue pronouncements, but hey! Get down in the dirt and talk
some shit to me, bitch!





Correspondent:: Cardinal Vertigo
Date: Mon, 25 Oct 2004 00:15:06 GMT

--------
König Prüß wrote:
> I feel about as
> friendly toward the Dahli Lama as I do toward the Pope, who
> ought to get a large crucifix up the butt for being a sanctimonious,
> pontificating, silk-wearing, incense-sniffing, pink-assed Polack.
> Except that the Dahli Lama can get butt-raped by a Tiben yak,
> just for cultural continuity. It's easy to sit on a satin pillow and
> issue pronouncements, but hey! Get down in the dirt and talk
> some shit to me, bitch!

Hey, at least the Church under JP2 finally got around to halfhearted
almost-apologies for centuries-old atrocities.


Correspondent:: König Prüß, GfbAEV
Date: Mon, 25 Oct 2004 00:36:18 GMT

--------


Cardinal Vertigo wrote:

> König Prüß wrote:
> > I feel about as
> > friendly toward the Dahli Lama as I do toward the Pope, who
> > ought to get a large crucifix up the butt for being a sanctimonious,
> > pontificating, silk-wearing, incense-sniffing, pink-assed Polack.
> > Except that the Dahli Lama can get butt-raped by a Tiben yak,
> > just for cultural continuity. It's easy to sit on a satin pillow and
> > issue pronouncements, but hey! Get down in the dirt and talk
> > some shit to me, bitch!
>
> Hey, at least the Church under JP2 finally got around to halfhearted
> almost-apologies for centuries-old atrocities.

JP5 is jet fuel, I think...Oh, John Paul! OK--

Yeah, I had to laugh when he became Pope;
Mort Sahl said, "Well, we finally got a man in the Vatican!"







Correspondent:: "iDRMRSR"
Date: Sun, 24 Oct 2004 20:59:10 -0400

--------
KP:
>>Mort Sahl

Interesting trivia about Mort Sahl. He's apparently NOT DEAD YET! Whilst
most of the beat generation's comics are. Go figure.

[*]
-----




Correspondent:: König Prüß, GfbAEV
Date: Mon, 25 Oct 2004 01:20:57 GMT

--------


iDRMRSR wrote:

> KP:
> >>Mort Sahl
>
> Interesting trivia about Mort Sahl. He's apparently NOT DEAD YET! Whilst
> most of the beat generation's comics are. Go figure.
>
> [*]
> -----

Yeah, amazing~he's got a website and doing tours and everything--




Correspondent:: "Anachron"
Date: Tue, 26 Oct 2004 21:45:17 GMT

--------
"Cardinal Vertigo" wrote in message
news:eAXed.16043$5b1.13855@newssvr17.news.prodigy.com...
> König Prüß wrote:
> > I feel about as
> > friendly toward the Dahli Lama as I do toward the Pope, who
> > ought to get a large crucifix up the butt for being a sanctimonious,
> > pontificating, silk-wearing, incense-sniffing, pink-assed Polack.
> > Except that the Dahli Lama can get butt-raped by a Tiben yak,
> > just for cultural continuity. It's easy to sit on a satin pillow and
> > issue pronouncements, but hey! Get down in the dirt and talk
> > some shit to me, bitch!
>
> Hey, at least the Church under JP2 finally got around to halfhearted
> almost-apologies for centuries-old atrocities.

Why should someone with infallible judgment ever have to apologize? Guess
this is where faith comes in. Faith is a short circuit in brain function
that allows logical gaps like this to remain invisible.

--
Rev. Anachron




Correspondent:: Cardinal Vertigo
Date: Tue, 26 Oct 2004 21:53:54 GMT

--------
Anachron wrote:
> "Cardinal Vertigo" wrote in message
> news:eAXed.16043$5b1.13855@newssvr17.news.prodigy.com...
>> König Prüß wrote:
>> > I feel about as
>> > friendly toward the Dahli Lama as I do toward the Pope, who
>> > ought to get a large crucifix up the butt for being a sanctimonious,
>> > pontificating, silk-wearing, incense-sniffing, pink-assed Polack.
>> > Except that the Dahli Lama can get butt-raped by a Tiben yak,
>> > just for cultural continuity. It's easy to sit on a satin pillow and
>> > issue pronouncements, but hey! Get down in the dirt and talk
>> > some shit to me, bitch!
>>
>> Hey, at least the Church under JP2 finally got around to halfhearted
>> almost-apologies for centuries-old atrocities.
>
> Why should someone with infallible judgment ever have to apologize? Guess
> this is where faith comes in. Faith is a short circuit in brain function
> that allows logical gaps like this to remain invisible.

I just see it as "hey, that's why I'm not Catholic."


Correspondent:: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)
Date: 26 Oct 2004 22:04:54 -0700

--------
Cardinal Vertigo wrote in message news:...

>>> I just see it as "hey, that's why I'm not Catholic."

On the other hand, when I need more candles, I just take a bag to the
nearest Catlick church and load up. On your way out, throw a buncha
Alka-Seltzers in the baptismal font to distract any possible pursuers.
HellPope Budgeting Tip #32.

--

HellPope Huey
"Overbite" should be a dental condition
and not a personality flaw.

Marionette porn. Hooray.
-SubGenius Spice

"Hooters is the only restaurant where
if I find hair in my food, I keep it."
- Greg Giraldo

http://69.93.225.186/3661_eggsong.swf


Correspondent:: König Prüß, GfbAEV
Date: Wed, 27 Oct 2004 05:37:59 GMT

--------


Anachron wrote:

> "Cardinal Vertigo" wrote in message
> news:eAXed.16043$5b1.13855@newssvr17.news.prodigy.com...
> > König Prüß wrote:
> > > I feel about as
> > > friendly toward the Dahli Lama as I do toward the Pope, who
> > > ought to get a large crucifix up the butt for being a sanctimonious,
> > > pontificating, silk-wearing, incense-sniffing, pink-assed Polack.
> > > Except that the Dahli Lama can get butt-raped by a Tiben yak,
> > > just for cultural continuity. It's easy to sit on a satin pillow and
> > > issue pronouncements, but hey! Get down in the dirt and talk
> > > some shit to me, bitch!
> >
> > Hey, at least the Church under JP2 finally got around to halfhearted
> > almost-apologies for centuries-old atrocities.
>
> Why should someone with infallible judgment ever have to apologize? Guess
> this is where faith comes in. Faith is a short circuit in brain function
> that allows logical gaps like this to remain invisible.
>
> --
> Rev. Anachron

Well, on a clear day...

I can usually see when people have stopped
thinking and are running on cruise-control.




Correspondent:: polar bear
Date: Fri, 29 Oct 2004 12:12:18 -0700

--------
In article , Cardinal
Vertigo wrote:

> Zapanaz wrote:
> > On Sun, 24 Oct 2004 22:09:59 GMT, König Prüß, GfbAEV
> > wrote:
> >
> >> I wonder if there is some mechanism at play like that?
> >>I've heard it said that pacifists are so because they have violent urges and
> >>understand violence all too well, perhaps PETA-types feel the joy of
> >>bloodlust
> >>
> >>and the hunt, and televangelists cannot help but be money-grubbing
> >>hypocrites.
> >
> > Sometimes, maybe ... I have a hard time seeing Ghandi and the Dalai
> > Lama as secretly harboring a murderous blood-lust.
>
> Yeah, but even Gandhi said "it is better to be violent, if there is
> violence in our hearts, than to put on the cloak of nonviolence to cover
> impotence," and he wasn't talking about erectile difficulties.

Oh goodness gracious NO! He most certainly was not!

pb


Correspondent:: "Anachron"
Date: Tue, 26 Oct 2004 21:35:21 GMT

--------
"Zapanaz" wrote in message
news:imdon0lq2u0anda8af4ob73ltp7965t3gq@4ax.com...
> On Sun, 24 Oct 2004 22:09:59 GMT, König Prüß, GfbAEV
> wrote:
>
> I think pacifists are often, as Vertigo says, people who understand
> the reality of violence, but personally I think it very often comes
> down to empathy. The bug in the software of the human brain which
> allows people to see another person as being like themselves.

Yes this is the liberal's flaw. They think everyone would be 'nice' if only
they had the chance.
--
Rev. Anachron




Correspondent:: Cardinal Vertigo
Date: Tue, 26 Oct 2004 21:45:42 GMT

--------
Anachron wrote:
> "Zapanaz" wrote in message
> news:imdon0lq2u0anda8af4ob73ltp7965t3gq@4ax.com...
>> On Sun, 24 Oct 2004 22:09:59 GMT, König Prüß, GfbAEV
>> wrote:
>>
>> I think pacifists are often, as Vertigo says, people who understand
>> the reality of violence, but personally I think it very often comes
>> down to empathy. The bug in the software of the human brain which
>> allows people to see another person as being like themselves.
>
> Yes this is the liberal's flaw. They think everyone would be 'nice' if only
> they had the chance.

Then the conservative flaw is thinking nobody deserves the chance.


Correspondent:: König Prüß, GfbAEV
Date: Wed, 27 Oct 2004 05:45:03 GMT

--------


Cardinal Vertigo wrote:

> Anachron wrote:
> > "Zapanaz" wrote in message
> > news:imdon0lq2u0anda8af4ob73ltp7965t3gq@4ax.com...
> >> On Sun, 24 Oct 2004 22:09:59 GMT, König Prüß, GfbAEV
> >> wrote:
> >>
> >> I think pacifists are often, as Vertigo says, people who understand
> >> the reality of violence, but personally I think it very often comes
> >> down to empathy. The bug in the software of the human brain which
> >> allows people to see another person as being like themselves.
> >
> > Yes this is the liberal's flaw. They think everyone would be 'nice' if only
> > they had the chance.
>
> Then the conservative flaw is thinking nobody deserves the chance.

Everybody gets a chance.
But for some weird reason,
Life is like a game of musical
chairs. When the music stops,
not everyone gets a comfy chair.
So, unless you're a pole dancer
or a mack daddy playah who can
fill the dead air with some diddy
boppin' finger poppin' and interesting
rap that doesn't sound like lil' kids
jumprope rhymes, yo' bidniz up in de
house is no longer required.




Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Thu, 28 Oct 2004 01:55:57 GMT

--------
In article ,
"Anachron" wrote:

> Yes this is the liberal's flaw. They think everyone would be 'nice' if only
> they had the chance.

Phew, good, that lets me off the hook. Is there a titled political
stance for Agnosticism? HAH! I saw some hard-core, PUSSYFIED liberals up
close at Pacifica and hell, *I* wanted to kill them, too. However, they
are the extremists, no different than Buchanan on the other end.

"Everyone" is an amalgam of their personal tree's unique rings and can
only deliver a mission statement, not a guarantee concerning future
reactions to as-yet unknown events. There is no such thing as A Liberal
or A Conservative. Even White Power gorks slug it out if one has a more
finely-honed Hate than another. "God" FORBID that you show signs of
growth or your old crowd can suddenly heave you out with great gusto,
eieieie!

I like a thing Will Smith said: "If you look up and see that you're the
smartest one in your crowd, you need a new crowd." Yeah, he said it with
a whimsical curve on the statement, but it has its merits. Inflexibility
is a double-edged sword.

A little human regard coupled with a reasonable level of pragmatic
efficiency = statesmanship, even on a simpler personal level outside of
public office proper. This is why Bush, having neither, resembles an old
3rd-rate kid show clown caught with a trunk full of kiddie porn.

--

HellPope Huey
This Halloween, I'm going as a drunken slut.
It worked great last year
and the costume looks exactly like my street clothes.

"If we're going to be damned,
let's be damned for what we really are. "
- "Star Trek: The Next Generation"

"We must find another brain."
- "Frankenstein"

GIVE BUSH A BRAIN game!
http://www.imgag.com/product/full/ap/3067907/graphic1.swf


Correspondent:: Cardinal Vertigo
Date: Sun, 24 Oct 2004 22:32:40 GMT

--------
Cardinal Vertigo wrote:
> König Prüß wrote:
>>
>> Cardinal Vertigo wrote:
>>
>>> Cardinal Vertigo wrote:
>>>
>>> > (see my reply to numo)
>>>
>>> Konig, not numo. I'm not sure who I insulted there.
>>
>> Not me! Or not I, if you prefer.
>>
>> Ah, yes! "The Perils of Pauline!" one of my favorites.
>>
>> Well, I favor a materialist approach, rather than a spiritual approach;
>>
>> on the theory that with the body satisfied and desires slaked, one has
>> the time and inclination to ponder the imponderables.
>>
>> But in general, my contacts with self-professed Evangelicals has
>> led me to think that they are the people who put the "duh!" in
>> "Praise the Lor-duh!" I swear, that's just how they say it! "Lor-duh!"
>
> Yeah.
>
> Imagine if the Church of the SubGenius were co-opted by the CON to work
> all sorts of disgusting evil.
>
> Imagine if the BotSG were the best-selling book of all time, and you
> could find one in every Pink's home and every motel drawer, and the CON
> uses ultra-tech mind control to tell people what to think about what
> they read, stealing back the Slack again as soon as it's generated and
> twisting the word of "Bob" into something far more sinister.
>
> Imagine if nearly ten percent of the channels on basic cable were
> devoted to so-called SubGenius programming that had approximately
> fuck-all to do with Slack as you and I understand it.
>
> Imagine if there were a Campus Jihad for "Bob" on every college campus
> in America, but only rich self-righteous white kids with absolutely no
> Slack joined. Imagine if there were so-called SubGenius SCHOOLS that
> churned out the saddest, most Slackless Conspiracy drones you ever met.
>
> Imagine if there were a SubGenius cathedral on practically every street
> corner, but precious few of the devivals held therein would even be
> recognizable to you or I.
>
> Imagine if an extremely vocal minority of these pseudo-SubGeniuses who
> never once paid attention to a word that "Bob" said had managed to
> infiltrate the government at the highest levels. Imagine if they were
> currently engaged in a campaign to make their corrupted and revolting
> version of the SubGenius faith the supreme law of the land.
>
> Welcome to my world.

Ugh. Did anyone else notice me switching tenses every fifth word?

I need to stop posting sober.


Correspondent:: phy
Date: Mon, 25 Oct 2004 00:01:04 -0000

--------
Cardinal Vertigo wrote in
news:Q%Sed.133$XI6.130@newssvr16.news.prodigy.com:

> A fundamentalist Christian believes that every word of the Bible was
> inspired literally and directly by Yahweh: that every event in the Bible
> actually took place exactly as described, and that every word in the
> Bible is just as God wanted it to be.
>

A funny way that it was explained to me was that the English and earlier
versions are just translations and are prone to error. The original version
was written by Yahweh. Fat lot of good that does. I guess it disappeared
along with the Commandments, the Grail, Bony Maroni's gold plates, Saddam's
WMDs and my fucking eyeglasses!

-phy


Correspondent:: Cardinal Vertigo
Date: Mon, 25 Oct 2004 00:51:01 GMT

--------
phy wrote:
> Cardinal Vertigo wrote in
> news:Q%Sed.133$XI6.130@newssvr16.news.prodigy.com:
>
>> A fundamentalist Christian believes that every word of the Bible was
>> inspired literally and directly by Yahweh: that every event in the Bible
>> actually took place exactly as described, and that every word in the
>> Bible is just as God wanted it to be.
>
> A funny way that it was explained to me was that the English and earlier
> versions are just translations and are prone to error. The original version
> was written by Yahweh. Fat lot of good that does. I guess it disappeared
> along with the Commandments, the Grail, Bony Maroni's gold plates, Saddam's
> WMDs and my fucking eyeglasses!

Yeah, American Protestantism is a gigantic mess of interdenominational
squabbles, so it's hard to keep track of who believes what.

There are three major views on the issue:

The generic fundamentalist position is that God the Father, YHVH
(rendered as "the LORD" in the King James Old Testament) put each and
every word in the original author's head, and the author just wrote down
what God dictated. This is the most radical version, and can be easily
abstracted to "it's all written by Yahweh." Major American
denominations that hold to it include the Assemblies of God and the
Southern Baptist Convention. (Careful, not all Baptist churches are SBC
members - some non-SBC Baptist churches are ultraprogressive.) Some
ultraconservative members of these churches believe the processes of
translation and transcription are divinely protected from tampering,
though they argue fanatically about how far this protection extends.
Many fundamentalist Protestant churches, including the Assemblies of
God, officially state that literal divine revelation has continued to
the present day, which gives their clergy's authority the luster of
divinity. Sounds rather un-Protestant to me, but I'm just a heretic, so
what would I know.

There's also a more moderate "divine inspiration" view. This one merely
states that all the writings of the Bible were inspired by God. While
it appears, on the surface, to be identical to the "written by Yahweh"
view, there are some very critical differences: the definitinons of
"inspired" and "God" are left to the individual believer's God-given
judgment. I think a few of the churches which officially hold the view
actively discourage their clergy from defining them in sermons. Most of
the mainline American Protestant churches (Methodists, Episcopalians,
Lutherans, Presbyterians, and a few others) officially hold to some
variation of this view, and tend to be pretty tolerant of fairly widely
varying definitions for "inspired" and "God."

Then there's a postmodernist view which emphasizes the reevaluation of
the Bible against the context in which it was written, while still
recognizing its spiritual authority. The definition of "spiritual
authority" is, of course, left to the believer's God-given judgment.
Many individual members of the mainline Protestant churches I listed
above hold to his view.

Adherents of the latter two views usually recognize one another's
legitimacy and reject that of the first, while adherents of the first
view generally reject the legitimacy of any other view.

Clear as mud?


Correspondent:: König Prüß, GfbAEV
Date: Mon, 25 Oct 2004 01:19:53 GMT

--------


Cardinal Vertigo wrote:

> phy wrote:
> > Cardinal Vertigo wrote in
> > news:Q%Sed.133$XI6.130@newssvr16.news.prodigy.com:
> >
> >> A fundamentalist Christian believes that every word of the Bible was
> >> inspired literally and directly by Yahweh: that every event in the Bible
> >> actually took place exactly as described, and that every word in the
> >> Bible is just as God wanted it to be.
> >
> > A funny way that it was explained to me was that the English and earlier
> > versions are just translations and are prone to error. The original version
> > was written by Yahweh. Fat lot of good that does. I guess it disappeared
> > along with the Commandments, the Grail, Bony Maroni's gold plates, Saddam's
> > WMDs and my fucking eyeglasses!
>
> Yeah, American Protestantism is a gigantic mess of interdenominational
> squabbles, so it's hard to keep track of who believes what.
>

I believe I'll have another beer!



Correspondent:: Cardinal Vertigo
Date: Mon, 25 Oct 2004 01:22:30 GMT

--------
König Prüß wrote:
>
> Cardinal Vertigo wrote:
>
>> phy wrote:
>> > Cardinal Vertigo wrote in
>> > news:Q%Sed.133$XI6.130@newssvr16.news.prodigy.com:
>> >
>> >> A fundamentalist Christian believes that every word of the Bible was
>> >> inspired literally and directly by Yahweh: that every event in the Bible
>> >> actually took place exactly as described, and that every word in the
>> >> Bible is just as God wanted it to be.
>> >
>> > A funny way that it was explained to me was that the English and earlier
>> > versions are just translations and are prone to error. The original version
>> > was written by Yahweh. Fat lot of good that does. I guess it disappeared
>> > along with the Commandments, the Grail, Bony Maroni's gold plates, Saddam's
>> > WMDs and my fucking eyeglasses!
>>
>> Yeah, American Protestantism is a gigantic mess of interdenominational
>> squabbles, so it's hard to keep track of who believes what.
>
> I believe I'll have another beer!

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." - commonly
attributed to Ben Franklin


Correspondent:: König Prüß, GfbAEV
Date: Mon, 25 Oct 2004 01:55:32 GMT

--------


Cardinal Vertigo wrote:

> König Prüß wrote:
> >
> > Cardinal Vertigo wrote:
> >
> >> phy wrote:
> >> > Cardinal Vertigo wrote in
> >> > news:Q%Sed.133$XI6.130@newssvr16.news.prodigy.com:
> >> >
> >> >> A fundamentalist Christian believes that every word of the Bible was
> >> >> inspired literally and directly by Yahweh: that every event in the Bible
> >> >> actually took place exactly as described, and that every word in the
> >> >> Bible is just as God wanted it to be.
> >> >
> >> > A funny way that it was explained to me was that the English and earlier
> >> > versions are just translations and are prone to error. The original version
> >> > was written by Yahweh. Fat lot of good that does. I guess it disappeared
> >> > along with the Commandments, the Grail, Bony Maroni's gold plates, Saddam's
> >> > WMDs and my fucking eyeglasses!
> >>
> >> Yeah, American Protestantism is a gigantic mess of interdenominational
> >> squabbles, so it's hard to keep track of who believes what.
> >
> > I believe I'll have another beer!
>
> "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." - commonly
> attributed to Ben Franklin

There is no beer in Heaven
Which is why we drink it here!



Correspondent:: phy
Date: Mon, 25 Oct 2004 01:35:19 -0000

--------
König Prüß, GfbAEV wrote in
news:417C54B6.FBE7451A@ranunculus.org:

>
>
> Cardinal Vertigo wrote:
>
>> phy wrote:
>> > Cardinal Vertigo wrote in
>> > news:Q%Sed.133$XI6.130@newssvr16.news.prodigy.com:
>> >
>> >> A fundamentalist Christian believes that every word of the Bible
>> >> was inspired literally and directly by Yahweh: that every event in
>> >> the Bible actually took place exactly as described, and that every
>> >> word in the Bible is just as God wanted it to be.
>> >
>> > A funny way that it was explained to me was that the English and
>> > earlier versions are just translations and are prone to error. The
>> > original version was written by Yahweh. Fat lot of good that does.
>> > I guess it disappeared along with the Commandments, the Grail, Bony
>> > Maroni's gold plates, Saddam's WMDs and my fucking eyeglasses!
>>
>> Yeah, American Protestantism is a gigantic mess of
>> interdenominational squabbles, so it's hard to keep track of who
>> believes what.
>>
>
> I believe I'll have another beer!
>

Hey, I think I found out where my glasses and all that other junk
disappeared to. http://tinyurl.com/6k3xl. If not I bet they are here.
http://tinyurl.com/57yfm.

-phy