I'll be happy on November 3 no matter who wins

Correspondent:: Cardinal Vertigo
Date: Fri, 01 Oct 2004 23:16:19 GMT

--------
So I've got the state ethics commission leaving messages on my answering
machine. Why my machine? Because the PAC's official phone also happens
to be my home phone line. Why doesn't our PAC even have its own phone
number? Because we have no fucking funding; it always comes back to
that. But anyway, the state ethics commission is leaving messages on my
machine all the time and freaking out my roommate who probably already
thinks I'm about two steps away from either bugging the Watergate or
leading the workers in bloody revolution. They keep calling because
there were some reports that should have been filed back in 2002 but
weren't. Now, there's no such thing as "failing to file"; there's only
"filing late." And there's no penalty whatsoever for filing late, so
nobody cares about it except for the guy whose phone happens to be
ringing all the damn time. Ben said he'd get all the filing up to date
before the changeover, but I know he doesn't want to mess with those
shitty forms any more than I do. Today I finally said, okay, fuck it,
there are a thousand other things I need to be doing right now that
would all be a thousand times more productive but I am so sick of the
ethics commission calling me every fucking day that I am dealing with
their goddamned forms once and for all. Unfortunately nobody capable of
dealing with it was in the office during the only time I had to screw
with it today, so I just gave up, printed the forms again, filled the
fuckers out, and mailed them in. During the time I spent screwing around
with this, I could have been organizing volunteers, or contacting
potential sites for last-minute registration drives, or pricing printers
for the voter guides, or even going down to the war room and stuffing
fucking envelopes. I need to quit smoking again because it's absolutely
killing my appetite and I'm not eating enough, but since I don't eat
much I only have the energy to get done what I have to get done every
day if I'm fueled by a haze of adrenaline and nicotine, and I'm way too
stressed to mess with trying to quit again right now. It's given me a
newfound empathy for speed freaks. I have more respect for speed freaks
than for you alt.slack pussies, though. You make me sick. You all babble
on about how bad you want Bush out of office or post your funny link
about how Bush is dumb and then you go sit in your goddamn cubicles
thinking you've done your good deed for the day so you spend the rest of
the day surfing cement ape porn before returning home to plant your fat
asses in front of the Obscure Sci-fi Theater marathon you Tivo'd last
month, while we waste away our youth burning ourselves out for
Kerry-Edwards even though we all voted for Dean in the primaries. FUCK
YOU ASSHOLES.

Correspondent:: "nu-monet v7.0"
Date: Fri, 01 Oct 2004 16:38:55 -0700

--------
Cardinal Vertigo wrote:
>
> ...FUCK
> YOU ASSHOLES.

Time to pray to the three-headed god of Apathy,
Indifference, and Depression. From them and them
alone will come their earthly manifestations, their
avatars, of Cynicism, Stoicism, and Lethargy.

Sip the sacred coffee and the sacred whiskey, and
blow forth the fumes of Nick-o-Tine, transcending
the animal state of form & function in flight or
fight, and surrendering to the Universal Perfection
of ParaSlack.

Let thy skin become pale and flabby. Unshave and
unbathe. Urinate and defacate in the sink. Look
upon caring and concern with disdain. Watch Porn
and Hellraiser movies without sleep. Make girls
say "ewww" without saying anything.

Give up the politics and community of youth, for
you are an outcast, a hated outsider who shall be
stoned with rocks and shunned at the Quickie Mart.

You are the cosmic joke. Give up.

Become one of us.

--
Being an asshole means paradoxically being
the means to an end, being the end itself,
and being in the middle of the end: it is
the riddle of the sphincter.

Correspondent:: Cardinal Vertigo
Date: Fri, 01 Oct 2004 23:47:46 GMT

--------
nu-monet v7.0 wrote:

> Become one of us.

Nah, I'm not much of a joiner.

Correspondent:: kdetal@aol.com (KD et al)
Date: 01 Oct 2004 23:56:15 GMT

--------
>So I've got the state ethics commission leaving messages on my answering
>machine. Why my machine? Because the PAC's official phone also happens
>to be my home phone line. Why doesn't our PAC even have its own phone
>number? Because we have no fucking funding; it always comes back to
>that. But anyway, the state ethics commission is leaving messages on my
>machine all the time and freaking out my roommate who probably already
>thinks I'm about two steps away from either bugging the Watergate or
>leading the workers in bloody revolution. They keep calling because
>there were some reports that should have been filed back in 2002 but
>weren't. Now, there's no such thing as "failing to file"; there's only
>"filing late." And there's no penalty whatsoever for filing late, so
>nobody cares about it except for the guy whose phone happens to be
>ringing all the damn time. Ben said he'd get all the filing up to date
>before the changeover, but I know he doesn't want to mess with those
>shitty forms any more than I do. Today I finally said, okay, fuck it,
>there are a thousand other things I need to be doing right now that
>would all be a thousand times more productive but I am so sick of the
>ethics commission calling me every fucking day that I am dealing with
>their goddamned forms once and for all. Unfortunately nobody capable of
>dealing with it was in the office during the only time I had to screw
>with it today, so I just gave up, printed the forms again, filled the
>fuckers out, and mailed them in. During the time I spent screwing around
>with this, I could have been organizing volunteers, or contacting
>potential sites for last-minute registration drives, or pricing printers
>for the voter guides, or even going down to the war room and stuffing
>fucking envelopes. I need to quit smoking again because it's absolutely
>killing my appetite and I'm not eating enough, but since I don't eat
>much I only have the energy to get done what I have to get done every
>day if I'm fueled by a haze of adrenaline and nicotine, and I'm way too
>stressed to mess with trying to quit again right now. It's given me a
>newfound empathy for speed freaks. I have more respect for speed freaks
>than for you alt.slack pussies, though. You make me sick. You all babble
>on about how bad you want Bush out of office or post your funny link
>about how Bush is dumb and then you go sit in your goddamn cubicles
>thinking you've done your good deed for the day so you spend the rest of
>the day surfing cement ape porn before returning home to plant your fat
>asses in front of the Obscure Sci-fi Theater marathon you Tivo'd last
>month, while we waste away our youth burning ourselves out for
>Kerry-Edwards even though we all voted for Dean in the primaries. FUCK
>YOU ASSHOLES.

Why Vertigo, this is the first post of yours I've ever read where you didn't
sound like a 50 year old scathingly droll french man smoking cloves!

--
If Buddha were alive today, he'd kill himself.
-KDetal

Correspondent:: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)
Date: 2 Oct 2004 08:04:15 -0700

--------
kdetal@aol.com (KD et al) wrote in message news:<20041001195615.23043.00001486@mb-m12.aol.com>...

> Why Vertigo, this is the first post of yours I've ever read where you didn't
> sound like a 50 year old scathingly droll french man smoking cloves!

He is. That one picture is his 14-year-old nephew, not him. Picture
Danny DeVito channeling Dorian Gray. There ya go.

--

HellPope Huey
Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof,
but there is also a night shift

"... we sometimes betray our truest intentions
while pretending that we were just kidding around."
- Richard Shickel

There is something creepy
about a trucker's wet dream.
- Joe Cosby

Correspondent:: kdetal@aol.com (KD et al)
Date: 02 Oct 2004 15:24:36 GMT

--------
HellPopeHuey wrote:

> Why Vertigo, this is the first post of yours I've ever read where you didn't
>> sound like a 50 year old scathingly droll french man smoking cloves!

> He is. That one picture is his 14-year-old nephew, not him. Picture
>Danny DeVito channeling Dorian Gray. There ya go.

Don't think I've seen his picture. Then again, I stay away from most
SubGenuine pictures.

--
"Just because a gravitational field or a galactic information-network does not
make pee pee or vote the straight Republican ticket [..does not mean..] SHe is
not planful, powerful, and humorously in charge of galactic evolution."
-Timothy Leary

Correspondent:: Cardinal Vertigo
Date: Mon, 04 Oct 2004 18:30:07 GMT

--------
KD et al wrote:
> HellPopeHuey wrote:
>
>> Why Vertigo, this is the first post of yours I've ever read where you didn't
>>> sound like a 50 year old scathingly droll french man smoking cloves!
>
>> He is. That one picture is his 14-year-old nephew, not him. Picture
>>Danny DeVito channeling Dorian Gray. There ya go.
>
> Don't think I've seen his picture. Then again, I stay away from most
> SubGenuine pictures.

I don't think it's a very good picture, but it sure turns Huey on.

http://www.modemac.com/irc/pr0n/vertigo.jpg

Correspondent:: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)
Date: 4 Oct 2004 17:27:58 -0700

--------
Cardinal Vertigo wrote in message news:...

> I don't think it's a very good picture, but it sure turns Huey on.
> http://www.modemac.com/irc/pr0n/vertigo.jpg

I printed one out. You'd get queasy if I told you how I use it.

--

HellPope Huey
Writer & Producer of
"Buggy Rubber Babies Behind Bars"

Few people can see genius
in someone who has offended them.
- Robertson Davies

"After a while, all you notice is the beauty."
- "Gargoyles"

Correspondent:: Zapanaz
Date: Mon, 04 Oct 2004 17:51:01 -0700

--------
On 4 Oct 2004 17:27:58 -0700, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
(HellPopeHuey) wrote:

>Cardinal Vertigo wrote in message news:...
>
>> I don't think it's a very good picture, but it sure turns Huey on.
>> http://www.modemac.com/irc/pr0n/vertigo.jpg
>
> I printed one out. You'd get queasy if I told you how I use it.

New Zealand style?

--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
The WHOLE WORLD's a penis puppet show.

- Abbess Abyss

Correspondent:: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)
Date: 5 Oct 2004 09:41:14 -0700

--------
Zapanaz wrote in message news:...
> On 4 Oct 2004 17:27:58 -0700, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
> (HellPopeHuey) wrote:
> >Cardinal Vertigo wrote in message news:...
> >
> >> I don't think it's a very good picture, but it sure turns Huey on.
> >> http://www.modemac.com/irc/pr0n/vertigo.jpg
> >
> > I printed one out. You'd get queasy if I told you how I use it.
>
> > New Zealand style?

Its mounted under plexiglas directly opposite my toilet and just 3
feet away from the porno library. Connect the dots.

--

HellPope Huey
I'll just SEE yer Social Disaffection and raise ya
a simmering case of One Day He Just Exploded, Officer.

"If I were to lose my mind right now
and pick up one of you and dash your head against the floor,
right now and kill you, would that be right?"
- Alan Keyes (2004 Illinois Senate Republican candidate)

"I want you to suck my dick like you think the antidote is in it."
- Chris Rock

Correspondent:: Cardinal Vertigo
Date: Mon, 04 Oct 2004 18:14:30 GMT

--------
KD et al wrote:

> Why Vertigo, this is the first post of yours I've ever read where you didn't
> sound like a 50 year old scathingly droll french man smoking cloves!

There must have been a door there in the wall when I came in.

Correspondent:: Zapanaz
Date: Sat, 02 Oct 2004 11:15:01 -0700

--------
On Fri, 01 Oct 2004 23:16:19 GMT, Cardinal Vertigo
wrote:

>or pricing printers
>for the voter guides,

Go for a Canon. Cheap effective and dependable.

The ink runs when it gets wet though.

>even though we all voted for Dean in the primaries. FUCK
>YOU ASSHOLES.

You voted for Bob Dean? WELL FUCK YOU TOO THEN.

--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
"When you have got an elephant
by the hind leg, and he is trying to
run away, it's best to let him run."

Abraham Lincoln

Correspondent:: Cardinal Vertigo
Date: Mon, 04 Oct 2004 18:10:13 GMT

--------
Zapanaz wrote:
> On Fri, 01 Oct 2004 23:16:19 GMT, Cardinal Vertigo
> wrote:
>
>>or pricing printers
>>for the voter guides,
>
> Go for a Canon. Cheap effective and dependable.
>
> The ink runs when it gets wet though.

Yeah, they're no good for printing porn.

Correspondent:: "Blackout"
Date: Sat, 2 Oct 2004 20:07:03 -0700

--------

http://www.outerburrows.com/archive.php?comic=169&top=171

Correspondent:: "Rich Clark, aka Left Reverend Egg Plant, ULC, CotSG"
Date: Sun, 03 Oct 2004 23:47:52 -0400

--------
Cardinal Vertigo wrote:

I'll be happy. I'll get drunk again cuz it'll be my birthday and the
friggin' election will be done with.

Rich

Correspondent:: BabaNoodleRaman@snork.cx
Date: Wed, 06 Oct 2004 10:37:03 -0600

--------
In <7zl7d.4538$Rf1.3874@newssvr19.news.prodigy.com>, Cardinal Vertigo
wrote:

>So I've got the state ethics commission leaving messages on my answering
>machine. Why my machine? Because the PAC's official phone also happens
>to be my home phone line. Why doesn't our PAC even have its own phone
>number? Because we have no fucking funding; it always comes back to
>that. But anyway, the state ethics commission is leaving messages on my
>machine all the time and freaking out my roommate who probably already
>thinks I'm about two steps away from either bugging the Watergate or
>leading the workers in bloody revolution. They keep calling because
>there were some reports that should have been filed back in 2002 but
>weren't. Now, there's no such thing as "failing to file"; there's only
>"filing late." And there's no penalty whatsoever for filing late, so
>nobody cares about it except for the guy whose phone happens to be
>ringing all the damn time. Ben said he'd get all the filing up to date
>before the changeover, but I know he doesn't want to mess with those
>shitty forms any more than I do. Today I finally said, okay, fuck it,
>there are a thousand other things I need to be doing right now that
>would all be a thousand times more productive but I am so sick of the
>ethics commission calling me every fucking day that I am dealing with
>their goddamned forms once and for all. Unfortunately nobody capable of
>dealing with it was in the office during the only time I had to screw
>with it today, so I just gave up, printed the forms again, filled the
>fuckers out, and mailed them in. During the time I spent screwing around
>with this, I could have been organizing volunteers, or contacting
>potential sites for last-minute registration drives, or pricing printers
>for the voter guides, or even going down to the war room and stuffing
>fucking envelopes. I need to quit smoking again because it's absolutely
>killing my appetite and I'm not eating enough, but since I don't eat
>much I only have the energy to get done what I have to get done every
>day if I'm fueled by a haze of adrenaline and nicotine, and I'm way too
>stressed to mess with trying to quit again right now. It's given me a
>newfound empathy for speed freaks. I have more respect for speed freaks
>than for you alt.slack pussies, though. You make me sick. You all babble
>on about how bad you want Bush out of office or post your funny link
>about how Bush is dumb and then you go sit in your goddamn cubicles
>thinking you've done your good deed for the day so you spend the rest of
>the day surfing cement ape porn before returning home to plant your fat
>asses in front of the Obscure Sci-fi Theater marathon you Tivo'd last
>month, while we waste away our youth burning ourselves out for
>Kerry-Edwards even though we all voted for Dean in the primaries. FUCK
>YOU ASSHOLES.

Fuck you back, I donated a quarter-ton of money at:

http://www.billionairesforbush.com

They rock and wear really good suits. Top hats and everything.
Ahhh-ummm ...