Afterwards We Could Only Look At Each Other in Wonderment

Correspondent:: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
Date: Fri, 01 Oct 2004 13:32:24 -0400

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Last evening, Wei and I were in the grocery store. A fairly normal
looking, well dressed lady and her slightly retarded-looking grown
daughter (?) approached us and politely asked if we could help her out
and explain something.

Lady: Can you tell me what veal is made from?

Wei: It's beef... from a calf.

Lady: Beef! That's from a cow, right?

Lady's daughter: See, I told you veal wasn't the same as lamb.

Me: Right, a calf that's been fattened up specially.

Lady: But how is that different from a lamb?

Daughter: A lamb is a BABY cow.

Wei: No, lambs are sheep.

Me: Young sheep.

Lady: Really! I thought a lamb was the same as a cow.

Daughter: I told you lamb wasn't the same as veal, a lamb is a BABY cow.

Wei: Lambs are baby SHEEP.

Lady: You don't say. A sheep isn't the same as a cow?

Daughter: It's a BABY cow.

Me: Sheep are different animals from cows. Sheep are the smaller ones
that have wool on them. A calf is a baby cow, and a lamb is a baby
sheep.

Lady: Oh, I didn't know that was different from a cow. Well thank you
so much. The store people acted like I was tripping.

Us: Well, good luck.

This whole time she was probably envisioning a cow as an upright
rectangular waxed-cardboard box, or a plastic jug, full of white
liquid, unless it's chocolate milk.

These were APPARENTLY-MIDDLE CLASS URBAN AMERICANS.

THEY PROBABLY VOTE.

Don't be surprised at what happens on Election Day.

--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com
For SubGenius Biz & Orders: call toll free to 1-888-669-2323
or email: jesus@subgenius.com
PRABOB

Correspondent:: asscoassc@aol.com (AssCo Assc)
Date: 01 Oct 2004 18:30:14 GMT

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Good to clear up that issue of cow lamb,
but how do farmers collect eggs from the
nests up in the trees ?

Correspondent:: IMBJR
Date: Fri, 01 Oct 2004 19:42:02 +0100

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On 01 Oct 2004 18:30:14 GMT, in reply to asscoassc@aol.com (AssCo
Assc):

>Good to clear up that issue of cow lamb,
>but how do farmers collect eggs from the
>nests up in the trees ?

Use your imagination or has reality TV swallowed it?

Correspondent:: asscoassc@aol.com (AssCo Assc)
Date: 01 Oct 2004 18:55:52 GMT

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No Hi-Def here.

Correspondent:: wbarwell
Date: Fri, 01 Oct 2004 18:56:49 -0400

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AssCo Assc wrote:

> Good to clear up that issue of cow lamb,
> but how do farmers collect eggs from the
> nests up in the trees ?

They hire Mexicans with stilts.

--
Kerry - two medals a silver and bronze star.
Bush? Well they don't give medals
for going AWOL, missing your medical and
getting grounded or falling off of a bar stool.
Kerry - a hero, Bush - a zero

Cheerful Charlie

Correspondent:: Artemia Salina
Date: Sat, 02 Oct 2004 03:09:12 -0400

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On Fri, 01 Oct 2004 18:56:49 -0400, wbarwell wrote:

> AssCo Assc wrote:
>
>> Good to clear up that issue of cow lamb,
>> but how do farmers collect eggs from the
>> nests up in the trees ?
>
> They hire Mexicans with stilts.

Now, are those baby calves or baby lambs?
I mean, I've got the part about calves being
baby cows and lambs being baby sheep, but
what about THEIR babies? Are those Mexicans
with stilts?

Correspondent:: Frere Jean Bleu
Date: Sat, 02 Oct 2004 21:06:38 +1000

Correspondent:: Zapanaz
Date: Sat, 02 Oct 2004 11:58:51 -0700

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On Sat, 02 Oct 2004 03:09:12 -0400, Artemia Salina
wrote:

>On Fri, 01 Oct 2004 18:56:49 -0400, wbarwell wrote:
>
>> AssCo Assc wrote:
>>
>>> Good to clear up that issue of cow lamb,
>>> but how do farmers collect eggs from the
>>> nests up in the trees ?
>>
>> They hire Mexicans with stilts.
>
>Now, are those baby calves or baby lambs?
>I mean, I've got the part about calves being
>baby cows and lambs being baby sheep, but
>what about THEIR babies? Are those Mexicans
>with stilts?

Oh, mairzy doats and dozy dotes and liddle lamzy divy,
A kiddly divy too, wooden shoe?
Oh mairzy doats and dozy dots and liddle lamzy divy,
A kiddly divy too, wooden shoe?
Now, if the words sound queer, and funny to your ear,
A little bit jumbled, and jivy,
Sing 'Mares eat oats, and Does eat oats, and little lambs eat ivy'

--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
"There are some human beings who have attained singularities. They know (and
others uneasily suspect) that they are unique...They know that they create
their environment. They inhabit their own worlds. YOU inhabit their worlds."
T. Leary

Correspondent:: nikolai kingsley
Date: Sat, 02 Oct 2004 08:36:25 +1000

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> These were APPARENTLY-MIDDLE CLASS URBAN AMERICANS.
>
> THEY PROBABLY VOTE.
>
> Don't be surprised at what happens on Election Day.

this is the real reason the rest of the world fears the United States of
America. from the nation that gave us:

* Twinkies

* the Scud Missile

* the Church of the SubGenius

* Microsoft Windows XP

* McDonald's

* Nine Inch Nails

* Hydrogen Bombs

* Peewee's Playhouse

* Botox

* Plan 9 From Outer Space

* Dr Louis Feiser (inventor of Napalm)

* Hunter S Thompson

it's truly horrible, but you just can't look away.

nikolai
--
If Buddha were alive today, he'd be playing bass guitar for the Strokes.
- John Safran

Correspondent:: Don Radford
Date: Sat, 02 Oct 2004 01:49:06 GMT

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nikolai kingsley wrote:

> this is the real reason the rest of the world fears the United States of
> America. from the nation that gave us:

You forgot Fight Club.

Remember, kids: Ivory Soap IS soap!

--
the Mystical RevvedErrand Rockin' Don Radford
Certified God by the holy authority of
the White Lotus Fortune Cookie Company
June 23, 2004

The Future is coming out of the wall a few inches above the toilet.

http://www.subgenius.com

Correspondent:: polar bear
Date: Sat, 02 Oct 2004 04:47:01 -0700

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In article <2s64d4F1gakvuU1@uni-berlin.de>, nikolai kingsley
wrote:

> > These were APPARENTLY-MIDDLE CLASS URBAN AMERICANS.
> >
> > THEY PROBABLY VOTE.
> >
> > Don't be surprised at what happens on Election Day.
>
>
> this is the real reason the rest of the world fears the United States of
> America. from the nation that gave us:
>
>
> * Twinkies
>
> * the Scud Missile
>
> * the Church of the SubGenius
>
> * Microsoft Windows XP
>
> * McDonald's
>
> * Nine Inch Nails
>
> * Hydrogen Bombs
>
> * Peewee's Playhouse
>
> * Botox
>
> * Plan 9 From Outer Space
>
> * Dr Louis Feiser (inventor of Napalm)
>
> * Hunter S Thompson
>
>
> it's truly horrible, but you just can't look away.
>

Don't worry, it will be gone soon.

pb

Correspondent:: mshotz@aol.commonkeypo (Rev. Richard Skull)
Date: 01 Oct 2004 23:53:00 GMT

--------
>These were APPARENTLY-MIDDLE CLASS URBAN AMERICANS.
>
>THEY PROBABLY VOTE.
>
>Don't be surprised at what happens on Election Day.
>
>--

Need to send them to s an Amish farm. Seeinf there are in Ohio, Sherman, and
here in Delaware, we can eduate them about all our furry barn yard friends.

MSHOTZ: The Post Post Modern Man

"War hath no Fury like a non-combatants"

Charles E. Montague

Correspondent:: Soot Bull Jeep
Date: Sat, 02 Oct 2004 09:16:05 -0700

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Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:

> Last evening, Wei and I were in the grocery store. A fairly normal
> looking, well dressed lady and her slightly retarded-looking grown
> daughter (?) approached us and politely asked if we could help her out
> and explain something.
>
> Lady: Can you tell me what veal is made from?

Be glad she didn't ask you the difference between Foie Gras and
Braunswagger.

> These were APPARENTLY-MIDDLE CLASS URBAN AMERICANS.
>
> THEY PROBABLY VOTE.
>
> Don't be surprised at what happens on Election Day.

Believe you me, I wont.

SBJ