Correspondent:: Overdog8080@yahoo.com (Overdog)
Date: 12 Nov 2004 23:44:53 -0800
--------
I found the pinkest blog on the interweb yesterday.
An except:
****************************************************************
What is it with people who offer free samples at the store.
****************************************************************
Sometimes it's some little old lady who leaves you alone as you walk
by, but sometimes it's a guy who has to be like the Richard Pryor of
handing out small cups of Snapple, all making the hardest sell in the
world, like you wronged him in another life and his only vengeance
will be if you try his stuff.
Today I was simply trying to buy some of that frozen ratatouille at
the new Trader Joe's, and there was this fool inside, sitting at a
card table, handing out samples of some kind of new cracker. I don't
know why, but he decided he was going to latch onto me like a dog to
an ankle. He called out to me as I walked by, and I politely nodded
and moved on. He started calling after me, "No, really! Try some!"
"It'll change your life!" "You'll be sorry!" Then when I had gotten
down by the corner he started to lay into me at the top of his voice,
to all those in attendance.
"Looks like that guy doesn't like crackers!" and "Oh well, can't
please 'em all, I guess!"
I was burning red at this point. For this bastard to impugn me
publicly in the name of selling crackers was too much. It was all I
could do not to pick a bottle of Tejava off the shelf and crush it in
my hand. Instead, however, I calmly paced to the manager's office,
told him of the offense, and left without buying anything. I waited
out in the bushes for a while, to see the son of a bitch escorted off
the premises, but I guess the manager made him leave out of the back
entrance. I hope that rat dies penniless and diseased with his skull
crushed under a rock.
from http://journeyintoreason.blogspot.com/
Correspondent:: Shining Path of Least Resistance Date: Sat, 13 Nov 2004 17:56:22 +0900
--------
On 12 Nov 2004 23:44:53 -0800, Overdog8080@yahoo.com (Overdog) wrote:
>I found the pinkest blog on the interweb yesterday.
>An except:
>
>****************************************************************
>What is it with people who offer free samples at the store.
>****************************************************************
>crushed under a rock.
>
>from http://journeyintoreason.blogspot.com/
]
I like the part where he waits out in the bushes but nothing happens.
--------
>I found the pinkest blog on the interweb yesterday.
>An except:
>
>****************************************************************
>What is it with people who offer free samples at the store.
>****************************************************************
>Sometimes it's some little old lady who leaves you alone as you walk
>by, but sometimes it's a guy who has to be like the Richard Pryor of
>handing out small cups of Snapple, all making the hardest sell in the
>world, like you wronged him in another life and his only vengeance
>will be if you try his stuff.
>
>Today I was simply trying to buy some of that frozen ratatouille at
>the new Trader Joe's, and there was this fool inside, sitting at a
>card table, handing out samples of some kind of new cracker. I don't
>know why, but he decided he was going to latch onto me like a dog to
>an ankle. He called out to me as I walked by, and I politely nodded
>and moved on. He started calling after me, "No, really! Try some!"
>"It'll change your life!" "You'll be sorry!" Then when I had gotten
>down by the corner he started to lay into me at the top of his voice,
>to all those in attendance.
>
>"Looks like that guy doesn't like crackers!" and "Oh well, can't
>please 'em all, I guess!"
>
>I was burning red at this point. For this bastard to impugn me
>publicly in the name of selling crackers was too much. It was all I
>could do not to pick a bottle of Tejava off the shelf and crush it in
>my hand. Instead, however, I calmly paced to the manager's office,
>told him of the offense, and left without buying anything. I waited
>out in the bushes for a while, to see the son of a bitch escorted off
>the premises, but I guess the manager made him leave out of the back
>entrance. I hope that rat dies penniless and diseased with his skull
>crushed under a rock.
What would the subgenius have done in this situation?
Bored, inquiring minds must know.
--
"It's my kind of night most hollow and most null
a fan of compass fingers collapsed into the white laughter of slumbers."
-Cesaire
Correspondent:: asscoassc@aol.comsucks (AssCo Assc)
Date: 13 Nov 2004 16:19:10 GMT
--------
<< What would the subgenius have done in this situation? >>
Eat the hell out of the crackers and
demand a free sample of wine to
wash it down.
_________________________________________________
SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Smoking
Causes Lung Cancer, Heart Disease,
Emphysema, And May Complicate Pregnancy.
_________________________________________________
Correspondent:: phy Date: Sat, 13 Nov 2004 16:22:57 -0000
--------
kdetal@aol.com (Yada Yada Yada) wrote in
news:20041113095404.07662.00000591@mb-m01.aol.com:
> What would the subgenius have done in this situation?
I would have graciously thanked the bastard and commenced to eating all his
samples. I have done this before. Well, I didn't want to be rude about it
so I left the last one.
-phy
Correspondent:: nenslo Date: Sat, 13 Nov 2004 21:12:10 -0800
--------
Overdog wrote:
>
> I found the pinkest blog on the interweb yesterday.
> An except:
>
> ****************************************************************
> What is it with people who offer free samples at the store.
> ****************************************************************
> Sometimes it's some little old lady who leaves you alone as you walk
> by, but sometimes it's a guy who has to be like the Richard Pryor of
> handing out small cups of Snapple, all making the hardest sell in the
> world, like you wronged him in another life and his only vengeance
> will be if you try his stuff.
>
> Today I was simply trying to buy some of that frozen ratatouille at
> the new Trader Joe's, and there was this fool inside, sitting at a
> card table, handing out samples of some kind of new cracker. I don't
> know why, but he decided he was going to latch onto me like a dog to
> an ankle. He called out to me as I walked by, and I politely nodded
> and moved on. He started calling after me, "No, really! Try some!"
> "It'll change your life!" "You'll be sorry!" Then when I had gotten
> down by the corner he started to lay into me at the top of his voice,
> to all those in attendance.
>
> "Looks like that guy doesn't like crackers!" and "Oh well, can't
> please 'em all, I guess!"
>
> I was burning red at this point. For this bastard to impugn me
> publicly in the name of selling crackers was too much. It was all I
> could do not to pick a bottle of Tejava off the shelf and crush it in
> my hand. Instead, however, I calmly paced to the manager's office,
> told him of the offense, and left without buying anything. I waited
> out in the bushes for a while, to see the son of a bitch escorted off
> the premises, but I guess the manager made him leave out of the back
> entrance. I hope that rat dies penniless and diseased with his skull
> crushed under a rock.
>
> from http://journeyintoreason.blogspot.com/
This guy is brilliant. I wish he would post here.
Correspondent:: purple Date: Sun, 14 Nov 2004 01:23:35 -0500
--------
On 11/14/04 12:12 AM, in article 4196E929.7EA22499@yahoox.com, "nenslo"
wrote:
> Overdog wrote:
>>
>> I found the pinkest blog on the interweb yesterday.
>> An except:
>>
>> ****************************************************************
>> What is it with people who offer free samples at the store.
>> ****************************************************************
>> Sometimes it's some little old lady who leaves you alone as you walk
>> by, but sometimes it's a guy who has to be like the Richard Pryor of
>> handing out small cups of Snapple, all making the hardest sell in the
>> world, like you wronged him in another life and his only vengeance
>> will be if you try his stuff.
>>
>> Today I was simply trying to buy some of that frozen ratatouille at
>> the new Trader Joe's, and there was this fool inside, sitting at a
>> card table, handing out samples of some kind of new cracker. I don't
>> know why, but he decided he was going to latch onto me like a dog to
>> an ankle. He called out to me as I walked by, and I politely nodded
>> and moved on. He started calling after me, "No, really! Try some!"
>> "It'll change your life!" "You'll be sorry!" Then when I had gotten
>> down by the corner he started to lay into me at the top of his voice,
>> to all those in attendance.
>>
>> "Looks like that guy doesn't like crackers!" and "Oh well, can't
>> please 'em all, I guess!"
>>
>> I was burning red at this point. For this bastard to impugn me
>> publicly in the name of selling crackers was too much. It was all I
>> could do not to pick a bottle of Tejava off the shelf and crush it in
>> my hand. Instead, however, I calmly paced to the manager's office,
>> told him of the offense, and left without buying anything. I waited
>> out in the bushes for a while, to see the son of a bitch escorted off
>> the premises, but I guess the manager made him leave out of the back
>> entrance. I hope that rat dies penniless and diseased with his skull
>> crushed under a rock.
>>
>> from http://journeyintoreason.blogspot.com/
>
> This guy is brilliant. I wish he would post here.
Fuck you, he already does.
The Great Bob Dobbs
Correspondent:: hexanthic@techemail.com (Den Mu)
Date: 16 Nov 2004 14:03:45 -0800
--------
I may not be the pinkest, but I am pretty pink.
I have to admit I am a straight crackhead when it comes to browsing
mail order brides and personal blogger websites.
But after seeing this newsgroup decay to smithereens, I feel alot less
embarrassed to go fly off with my flippant mouth than stay here too
long.
I can understand why Bob hasn't given up on you guys, because he has a
good heart, but this place is turning into a shithole he won't be here
forever.
And I still maintain that I am cooler than 88% of you.
The only people left are date rapists and the fat whores who love
them.
Search by my Heroes (Bob Dobbs)
Or you can search by location (Marietta, GA)
Or you can search by the Televison I watch
I can't miss City Confidential and I just love Super Milk Chan..
I like to think of myself as Dr. Eyepatch
Some of you assholes are already on myspace so GODDAMMIT put me on
your friends list JERKS!
MOTHERFUCKERS!!!
Correspondent:: purple Date: Tue, 23 Nov 2004 12:26:36 -0500
--------
On 11/16/04 5:03 PM, in article
426f26af.0411161403.2abb462b@posting.google.com, "Den Mu"
wrote:
> I can understand why Bob hasn't given up on you guys, because he has a
> good heart, but this place is turning into a shithole he won't be here
> forever.
Yes and no.
The Great Bob Dobbs
Correspondent:: "Mireca Eliade" Date: Tue, 23 Nov 2004 14:17:26 -0500
--------
"purple" wrote in message
news:BDC8DCFC.FECF%purple@tellurian.com...
> On 11/16/04 5:03 PM, in article
> 426f26af.0411161403.2abb462b@posting.google.com, "Den Mu"
> wrote:
>
> > I can understand why Bob hasn't given up on you guys, because he has a
> > good heart, but this place is turning into a shithole he won't be here
> > forever.
>
> Yes and no.
>
>
> The Great Bob Dobbs
It's the end of the world as we know it....and WE feel fine.....!
Correspondent:: "ArWeGod" Date: Wed, 17 Nov 2004 09:08:40 GMT
--------
"purple" wrote in message
news:BDBC6417.F618%purple@tellurian.com...
> On 11/14/04 12:12 AM, in article 4196E929.7EA22499@yahoox.com,
"nenslo"
> wrote:
>
> > Overdog wrote:
> >>
> >> I found the pinkest blog on the interweb yesterday.
> >> An except:
> >>
> >> ****************************************************************
> >> What is it with people who offer free samples at the store.
> >> ****************************************************************
> >> Sometimes it's some little old lady who leaves you alone as you
walk
> >> by, but sometimes it's a guy who has to be like the Richard Pryor
of
> >> handing out small cups of Snapple, all making the hardest sell in
the
> >> world, like you wronged him in another life and his only vengeance
> >> will be if you try his stuff.
> >>
> >> Today I was simply trying to buy some of that frozen ratatouille at
> >> the new Trader Joe's, and there was this fool inside, sitting at a
> >> card table, handing out samples of some kind of new cracker. I
don't
> >> know why, but he decided he was going to latch onto me like a dog
to
> >> an ankle. He called out to me as I walked by, and I politely nodded
> >> and moved on. He started calling after me, "No, really! Try some!"
> >> "It'll change your life!" "You'll be sorry!" Then when I had gotten
> >> down by the corner he started to lay into me at the top of his
voice,
> >> to all those in attendance.
> >>
> >> "Looks like that guy doesn't like crackers!" and "Oh well, can't
> >> please 'em all, I guess!"
> >>
> >> I was burning red at this point. For this bastard to impugn me
> >> publicly in the name of selling crackers was too much. It was all I
> >> could do not to pick a bottle of Tejava off the shelf and crush it
in
> >> my hand. Instead, however, I calmly paced to the manager's office,
> >> told him of the offense, and left without buying anything. I waited
> >> out in the bushes for a while, to see the son of a bitch escorted
off
> >> the premises, but I guess the manager made him leave out of the
back
> >> entrance. I hope that rat dies penniless and diseased with his
skull
> >> crushed under a rock.
> >>
> >> from http://journeyintoreason.blogspot.com/
> >
> > This guy is brilliant. I wish he would post here.
>
> Fuck you, he already does.
Do NOT eat crab unless it is the DAY before trash pickup!
We need to draft some new city ordinances around here. Some fool next
door disposed of crab shells in his trash FIVE DAYS before trash pickup,
and the odor is unbearable. I am fully considering renting a hotel room
and sending him the bill. I've got a call in to the police and I'm
searching www.nolo.com to see what exactly my options are.