attn: Hollywood
Correspondent:: "nu-monet v7.0"
Date: Mon, 29 Nov 2004 10:39:07 -0700
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Today's headline in the 'Alternative Reality Variety':
Alexander The Great Breaks Box Office Records
Mel Gibson's new movie, Alexander The Great, has scored
another huge hit for Gibson, breaking the record for the
largest one-day opener in movie history.
Heavily criticized for not depicting Alexander's alleged
bisexuality, in fact devoid of any reference to it at all,
and filled with Braveheart-quality battle scenes of utter
carnage and brutality, the public turned out in droves for
the premier.
"The people generally don't know and really don't care what
some ancient Macedonian emperor did in his bedroom, any more
than what he did in his toilet," said Gibson, when asked by
a reporter for Out Magazine about the omission. "To try to
be trendy by throwing in gratuitous sex scenes just doesn't
add to a story or a movie. In fact, it just annoys."
"Alexander the Great conquered the known world. With spears
and swords, and brilliant tactics, he changed the course of
mankind. Yes, it is extremely violent. But the reality was
even more violent. And that is what people want to see. Not
a man, but a legend, in all his glory."
Gibson also insisted on using a no-name cast, preferring
to make a thrilling movie instead of recruiting from the
Hollywood establishment. None of the actors are believed
to have had agents before he offered them their roles. In
fact, several trendy stars were turned down for even minor
parts in the picture.
President Stephenopoulos of Greece was invited to a special
screening of the film in New York, where he remarked,
"He (Gibson) is a genius. He brought our greatest hero,
Alexander of Macedonia, to life. I am overwhelmed with
feelings of national pride, after seeing this work of art,
and invite Mr. Gibson to come to Greece for a hero's
welcome. The people of Greece are in his debt."
--
"A stupid movie WILL NOT make you turn
down a blowjob. Simple as that."
-- nu-monet
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Mon, 29 Nov 2004 20:47:04 GMT
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In article <41AB5EBB.3FFC@succeeds.com>,
"nu-monet v7.0" wrote:
> Today's headline in the 'Alternative Reality Variety':
> > Alexander The Great Breaks Box Office Records
>
> Mel Gibson's new movie, Alexander The Great, has scored
> another huge hit for Gibson, breaking the record for the
> largest one-day opener in movie history.
> > Heavily criticized for not depicting Alexander's alleged
> bisexuality, in fact devoid of any reference to it at all,
> and filled with Braveheart-quality battle scenes of utter
> carnage and brutality, the public turned out in droves for
> the premier.
.............
> "Alexander the Great conquered the known world. With spears
> and swords, and brilliant tactics, he changed the course of
> mankind. Yes, it is extremely violent. But the reality was
> even more violent. And that is what people want to see. Not
> a man, but a legend, in all his glory."
I guess this means the kids will be clamoring for long knives and
swords for Xmas. Guard your nads extra-well until enough of the assholes
have lopped off parts that the trend drops back down to its current
level of mayhem.
I must say I never had any curiousity whatsoever concerning what it
feels like to be stabbed in the gut with a blade... nope, not a bit.
--
HellPope Huey
Religion is like dropping sea urchins in your pants
and then trying to convince others
that they should do it too, because its "good."
Oh, SHUT UP.
The best cure for Christianity is reading the Bible.
- Mark Twain
"Smoking and drinking go together,
like porn and nachos."
- "The Oblongs"