Worst Movie Ever
Correspondent:: mshotz@aol.commonkeypo (Rev. Richard Skull)
Date: 21 Nov 2004 20:02:56 GMT

--------
I Tried, I honestly tried to sit down and Watch "Gymkata" this afternoon.

I wanted to make sure the used movie I bought was viewable.

I'm sorry, I just could not take it.

After about 5 minutes, I just had to hit "stop" and "eject"

So this next X-Day, If the movies does not play at Dr. Darks, please
understand.


MSHOTZ: The Post Post Modern Man

"War hath no Fury like a non-combatants"

Charles E. Montague


Correspondent:: "nu-monet v7.0"
Date: Sun, 21 Nov 2004 13:32:54 -0700

--------
Rev. Richard Skull wrote:
>
> I Tried, I honestly tried to sit down and Watch
> "Gymkata" this afternoon.
> I wanted to make sure the used movie I bought was
> viewable.
> I'm sorry, I just could not take it.
> After about 5 minutes, I just had to hit "stop"
> and "eject"
> So this next X-Day, If the movies does not play at
> Dr. Darks, please understand.
>

Nope. Failure is NOT an option.

If you can't make it through Gymkata,
"American Anthem" will cut you down
without mercy.

Now go get REALLY drunk, get in there
and try it again. Don't stop until
your blood flows freely, or you will
never learn.

--
"We've pretty much just been patrolling
and flying helicopters all over the place,
and when we see something bad, we blow it up."
-- Maj. David Holahan, US Marines


Correspondent:: asscoassc@aol.comsucks (AssCo Assc)
Date: 22 Nov 2004 16:26:29 GMT

--------
I dunno -- Gymkata is pretty bad
but there are a lot of other films
that vie for the ranking of "worst",
I just saw some old Paul Morrisey
piece of shit from 1965 called
"All Aboard The Dreamland Choo-Choo"
that really stinks. Morrisey finally got
around to copyrighting this crap last
year for some bizarre reason -- you'd
think he'd be grateful to have anyone
watch it under any circumstances
(i.e. bootlegged) just for the attention.

The silent, unscored film begins with
some young buck with a facial ganglion
huffing down a joint -- or what
appears to be a joint -- in record time
and thereby aimlessly tooling around
with a blue neon rake (?) for several minutes
and then stabbing himself in the thigh
with an Exacto knife, but did he REALLY
stab himself in the thigh? there's a badly
scotch-taped flash of an edit in which the
thigh is undamaged -- and then another
self-inflicted stab to the thigh. There's
no reaction from the mook that indicates
pain, then blammo -- another stab to the
thigh, but this time there's blood. Mook
still unphased. Wham! Another stab to
the thigh and more runny fake blood.
Close up of mook's grinning face.
The End. That's it. Show's over.


_________________________________________________

SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Smoking
Causes Lung Cancer, Heart Disease,
Emphysema, And May Complicate Pregnancy.
_________________________________________________



Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Mon, 22 Nov 2004 17:39:55 GMT

--------

"Blood Beach." Its as stupid and lacking as any cinema you'll ever
encounter. Even Joe Bob Briggs said "Talk about a tax write-off! You
want NOTHING-fu, this one has oodles of it."

--

HellPope Huey
In real life, I am a warm and playful companion
hampered only by being a telekinetic alcoholic.
I never have to pay for a drop.

"You haven't hit rock bottom
until you've fought off three other drunks
to suck on a Hungarian booby-pickle."
- "The Drew Carey Show"

"They'll let anyone foster a kid.
They'd let me and I'm 100 years old and a Communist to boot."
- Don Rickles, "The Wool Cap"


Correspondent:: nenslo
Date: Mon, 22 Nov 2004 16:02:03 -0800

--------
AssCo Assc wrote:
>
> I dunno -- Gymkata is pretty bad
> but there are a lot of other films
> that vie for the ranking of "worst",

The only way any film can be officially and unquestionably called
"worst" is when there is only one movie viewer left in the world. GUESS
WHAT???? Value judgments are subjective!!!!!

I was at the video store and overheard one girl telling another girl
what she thought of Eyes Wide Shut - "Dat was da STOOPIDIST movie I evah seen."


Correspondent:: Artemia Salina
Date: Sun, 21 Nov 2004 16:10:58 -0500

--------
On Sun, 21 Nov 2004 20:02:56 +0000, Rev. Richard Skull wrote:

> I Tried, I honestly tried to sit down and Watch "Gymkata" this afternoon.
>
> I wanted to make sure the used movie I bought was viewable.
>
> I'm sorry, I just could not take it.
>
> After about 5 minutes, I just had to hit "stop" and "eject"

That'd be a great way to hide directions to some buried treasure.
At random points during the movie the actors would pause and give
clues to where the treasure was hidden. You'd need to have all of
the clues to determine where it was buried.



Correspondent:: nenslo
Date: Sun, 21 Nov 2004 22:17:24 -0800

--------
"Rev. Richard Skull" wrote:
>
> I Tried, I honestly tried to sit down and Watch "Gymkata" this afternoon.
>
> I wanted to make sure the used movie I bought was viewable.
>
> I'm sorry, I just could not take it.
>
> After about 5 minutes, I just had to hit "stop" and "eject"
>
> So this next X-Day, If the movies does not play at Dr. Darks, please
> understand.
>

PUSSY. Mail it to me.

K. DeVries
7103 S. E. Cora St.
Portland Oregon
97206


Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Mon, 22 Nov 2004 17:38:09 GMT

--------
In article <41A18472.54B67964@yahoox.com>, nenslo
wrote:
> "Rev. Richard Skull" wrote:
> >
> > I Tried, I honestly tried to sit down and Watch "Gymkata" this afternoon.
> > I wanted to make sure the used movie I bought was viewable.
> > I'm sorry, I just could not take it.
>> After about 5 minutes, I just had to hit "stop" and "eject"
>> > So this next X-Day, If the movies does not play at Dr. Darks, please
> > understand.
> >
>> PUSSY. Mail it to me.
>> K. DeVries
> 7103 S. E. Cora St.
> Portland Oregon
> 97206

Gee, grammaw, what a big, shiny death wish you have.

Aw, don't believe it; that's the address of the Greyhound bus station
where Blackout lost his viriginity.

--

HellPope Huey
In real life, I am a warm and playful companion
hampered only by being a telekinetic alcoholic.
I never have to pay for a drop.

"You haven't hit rock bottom
until you've fought off three other drunks
to suck on a Hungarian booby-pickle."
- "The Drew Carey Show"

"They'll let anyone foster a kid.
They'd let me and I'm 100 years old and a Communist to boot."
- Don Rickles, "The Wool Cap"


Correspondent:: nenslo
Date: Mon, 22 Nov 2004 15:58:48 -0800

--------
HellPope Huey wrote:
>
> In article <41A18472.54B67964@yahoox.com>, nenslo
> wrote:
> > "Rev. Richard Skull" wrote:
> > >
> > > I Tried, I honestly tried to sit down and Watch "Gymkata" this afternoon.
> > > I wanted to make sure the used movie I bought was viewable.
> > > I'm sorry, I just could not take it.
> >> After about 5 minutes, I just had to hit "stop" and "eject"
> >> > So this next X-Day, If the movies does not play at Dr. Darks, please
> > > understand.
> > >
> >> PUSSY. Mail it to me.
> >> K. DeVries
> > 7103 S. E. Cora St.
> > Portland Oregon
> > 97206
>
> Gee, grammaw, what a big, shiny death wish you have.
>
> Aw, don't believe it; that's the address of the Greyhound bus station
> where Blackout lost his viriginity.
>

I have posted my address and telephone number (503 771 5140) here before
with no effect other than one stupid post card, some music recordings on
CD (I DO NOT OWN A CD PLAYER - DO NOT SEND ME YOUR HOME RECORDINGS), and
one call to voicemail from Joe Cosby.


Correspondent:: asscoassc@aol.comsucks (AssCo Assc)
Date: 23 Nov 2004 03:01:56 GMT

--------
<< I DO NOT OWN A CD PLAYER - DO NOT SEND ME YOUR HOME RECORDINGS >>

You got a DVD player?

They're only $29.95 at K-mart.




_________________________________________________

SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Smoking
Causes Lung Cancer, Heart Disease,
Emphysema, And May Complicate Pregnancy.
_________________________________________________



Correspondent:: Cardinal Vertigo
Date: Tue, 23 Nov 2004 03:28:32 GMT

--------
AssCo Assc wrote:
> << I DO NOT OWN A CD PLAYER - DO NOT SEND ME YOUR HOME RECORDINGS >>
>
> You got a DVD player?
>
> They're only $29.95 at K-mart.

Might have gone ahead and explicitly stated that any DVD player will
play a music CD.

(I have a sneaking suspicion that nenslo actually DOES own a CD player,
though, and is just claiming not to so as to avoid having his mailbox
flooded with the worst avant-garde techno the Internet's home recording
artists have to offer.)


Correspondent:: asscoassc@aol.comsucks (AssCo Assc)
Date: 23 Nov 2004 16:27:41 GMT

--------
<< Might have gone ahead and explicitly stated that any DVD player will play a
music CD. >>

Might have SHUT UP.

_________________________________________________

SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Smoking
Causes Lung Cancer, Heart Disease,
Emphysema, And May Complicate Pregnancy.
_________________________________________________



Correspondent:: Cardinal Vertigo
Date: Tue, 23 Nov 2004 17:32:13 GMT

--------
AssCo Assc wrote:
> << Might have gone ahead and explicitly stated that any DVD player will play a
> music CD. >>
>
> Might have SHUT UP.

But didn't!


Correspondent:: rhymeswith@starmail.com (C. Woolard)
Date: 23 Nov 2004 19:03:12 -0800

--------
Cardinal Vertigo wrote in message news:...
> AssCo Assc wrote:
> > << Might have gone ahead and explicitly stated that any DVD player will play a
> > music CD. >>
> >
> > Might have SHUT UP.
>
> But didn't!

But could have.


Correspondent:: Cardinal Vertigo
Date: Wed, 24 Nov 2004 03:05:03 GMT

--------
C. Woolard wrote:
> Cardinal Vertigo wrote...
>> AssCo Assc wrote:
>> > << Might have gone ahead and explicitly stated that any DVD player will play a
>> > music CD. >>
>> >
>> > Might have SHUT UP.
>>
>> But didn't!
>
> But could have.

I have absolutely nothing to say about that.


Correspondent:: nenslo
Date: Tue, 23 Nov 2004 11:49:19 -0800

--------
Cardinal Vertigo wrote:
>
> AssCo Assc wrote:
> > << I DO NOT OWN A CD PLAYER - DO NOT SEND ME YOUR HOME RECORDINGS >>
> >
> > You got a DVD player?
> >
> > They're only $29.95 at K-mart.
>
> Might have gone ahead and explicitly stated that any DVD player will
> play a music CD.
>
> (I have a sneaking suspicion that nenslo actually DOES own a CD player,
> though, and is just claiming not to so as to avoid having his mailbox
> flooded with the worst avant-garde techno the Internet's home recording
> artists have to offer.)

No, I really don't. I don't listen to music any more except when I want
to play it myself, or I am working in the kitchen and then I don't want
to hear some lousy noise.


Correspondent:: nenslo
Date: Tue, 23 Nov 2004 11:44:51 -0800

--------
AssCo Assc wrote:
>
> << I DO NOT OWN A CD PLAYER - DO NOT SEND ME YOUR HOME RECORDINGS >>
>
> You got a DVD player?
>
> They're only $29.95 at K-mart.
>

Don't want one. Got no need for it.


Correspondent:: Cardinal Vertigo
Date: Tue, 23 Nov 2004 03:30:18 GMT

--------
nenslo wrote:
> HellPope Huey wrote:
>>
>> In article <41A18472.54B67964@yahoox.com>, nenslo
>> wrote:
>> > "Rev. Richard Skull" wrote:
>> > >
>> > > I Tried, I honestly tried to sit down and Watch "Gymkata" this afternoon.
>> > > I wanted to make sure the used movie I bought was viewable.
>> > > I'm sorry, I just could not take it.
>> >> After about 5 minutes, I just had to hit "stop" and "eject"
>> >> > So this next X-Day, If the movies does not play at Dr. Darks, please
>> > > understand.
>> > >
>> >> PUSSY. Mail it to me.
>> >> K. DeVries
>> > 7103 S. E. Cora St.
>> > Portland Oregon
>> > 97206
>>
>> Gee, grammaw, what a big, shiny death wish you have.
>>
>> Aw, don't believe it; that's the address of the Greyhound bus station
>> where Blackout lost his viriginity.
>>
>
> I have posted my address and telephone number (503 771 5140) here before
> with no effect other than one stupid post card, some music recordings on
> CD (I DO NOT OWN A CD PLAYER - DO NOT SEND ME YOUR HOME RECORDINGS), and
> one call to voicemail from Joe Cosby.

Do you have an 8-track player?


Correspondent:: nenslo
Date: Tue, 23 Nov 2004 11:49:56 -0800

--------
Cardinal Vertigo wrote:
>
> nenslo wrote:
> > HellPope Huey wrote:
> >>
> >> In article <41A18472.54B67964@yahoox.com>, nenslo
> >> wrote:
> >> > "Rev. Richard Skull" wrote:
> >> > >
> >> > > I Tried, I honestly tried to sit down and Watch "Gymkata" this afternoon.
> >> > > I wanted to make sure the used movie I bought was viewable.
> >> > > I'm sorry, I just could not take it.
> >> >> After about 5 minutes, I just had to hit "stop" and "eject"
> >> >> > So this next X-Day, If the movies does not play at Dr. Darks, please
> >> > > understand.
> >> > >
> >> >> PUSSY. Mail it to me.
> >> >> K. DeVries
> >> > 7103 S. E. Cora St.
> >> > Portland Oregon
> >> > 97206
> >>
> >> Gee, grammaw, what a big, shiny death wish you have.
> >>
> >> Aw, don't believe it; that's the address of the Greyhound bus station
> >> where Blackout lost his viriginity.
> >>
> >
> > I have posted my address and telephone number (503 771 5140) here before
> > with no effect other than one stupid post card, some music recordings on
> > CD (I DO NOT OWN A CD PLAYER - DO NOT SEND ME YOUR HOME RECORDINGS), and
> > one call to voicemail from Joe Cosby.
>
> Do you have an 8-track player?

No.


Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Tue, 23 Nov 2004 03:51:39 GMT

--------
In article <41A27D38.2B5B4D51@yahoox.com>, nenslo
wrote:
> HellPope Huey wrote:

> > >> PUSSY. Mail it to me.
> > >> K. DeVries
> > > 7103 S. E. Cora St.
> > > Portland Oregon
> > > 97206
> >
> > Gee, grammaw, what a big, shiny death wish you have.
> > Aw, don't believe it; that's the address of the Greyhound bus station
> > where Blackout lost his viriginity.
> >
> I have posted my address and telephone number (503 771 5140) here before
> with no effect other than one stupid post card, some music recordings on
> CD (I DO NOT OWN A CD PLAYER - DO NOT SEND ME YOUR HOME RECORDINGS), and
> one call to voicemail from Joe Cosby.

My contempt for the alt.slack crowd just rose by 40%. They really ARE a
buncha pussies if you still live. I will send you a cassette more fully
deliniating that contempt as expressed through my digital reverb. I will
even sing you a nice song. Its called "FUCK THE GODDAMNED DISAPPOINTING
CHILDISH PANTY-WAISTED PYLORIC FANBOY FISTEVAL OF FUCK." Its a
multitracked madrigal; you can play your concertina along with it.
Lovely piece of work, just lovely.

--

HellPope Huey
The abject beauty of the blah blah blah
is directly and inversely proportional
to the grinding horror of the ungh urgh argh.

For every human problem,
there is a neat, simple solution;
and it is always wrong
- H. L. Mencken

"I like my sex the way I like my basketball:
one-on-one and with as little rimming as possible."
- "Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult"


Correspondent:: drdark@37.com (DoktorDark)
Date: 22 Nov 2004 10:26:00 -0800

--------
mshotz@aol.commonkeypo (Rev. Richard Skull) wrote in message news:<20041121150256.11818.00000968@mb-m16.aol.com>...
> I Tried, I honestly tried to sit down and Watch "Gymkata" this afternoon.
>
> I wanted to make sure the used movie I bought was viewable.
>
> I'm sorry, I just could not take it.
>
> After about 5 minutes, I just had to hit "stop" and "eject"
>
> So this next X-Day, If the movies does not play at Dr. Darks, please
> understand.
>
I ALREADY BOUGHT my own copy to show next X-Day, right after the Joe
Cosby look-alike contest that I'm promoting there, since that's his
favorite most sought-after movie. 1st prize for the winner is dinner,
with Joe, at the Corral Restaurant in Sherman, NY. Kind of like "My
Dinner With Andre".


Correspondent:: mshotz@aol.commonkeypo (Rev. Richard Skull)
Date: 22 Nov 2004 23:02:17 GMT

--------
>I ALREADY BOUGHT my own copy to show next X-Day, right after the Joe
>Cosby look-alike contest that I'm promoting there, since that's his
>favorite most sought-after movie. 1st prize for the winner is dinner,
>with Joe, at the Corral Restaurant in Sherman, NY. Kind of like "My
>Dinner With Andre".
>

Well, I can still put it up for the BullDada Auction.
I would mail it to Nenslo, but I think there is a Postal Reg aginst mailing
Bombs.


MSHOTZ: The Post Post Modern Man

"War hath no Fury like a non-combatants"

Charles E. Montague


Correspondent:: nenslo
Date: Mon, 22 Nov 2004 16:03:56 -0800

--------
"Rev. Richard Skull" wrote:
>
> >I ALREADY BOUGHT my own copy to show next X-Day, right after the Joe
> >Cosby look-alike contest that I'm promoting there, since that's his
> >favorite most sought-after movie. 1st prize for the winner is dinner,
> >with Joe, at the Corral Restaurant in Sherman, NY. Kind of like "My
> >Dinner With Andre".
> >
>
> Well, I can still put it up for the BullDada Auction.
> I would mail it to Nenslo, but I think there is a Postal Reg aginst mailing
> Bombs.

PUSSY!


Correspondent:: mshotz@aol.commonkeypo (Rev. Richard Skull)
Date: 23 Nov 2004 22:59:50 GMT

--------
>PUSSY!

You are what you eat.

Dick


MSHOTZ: The Post Post Modern Man

"War hath no Fury like a non-combatants"

Charles E. Montague


Correspondent:: nenslo
Date: Mon, 22 Nov 2004 16:03:30 -0800

--------
DoktorDark wrote:
>
> >
> I ALREADY BOUGHT my own copy to show next X-Day, right after the Joe
> Cosby look-alike contest that I'm promoting there, since that's his
> favorite most sought-after movie. 1st prize for the winner is dinner,
> with Joe, at the Corral Restaurant in Sherman, NY. Kind of like "My
> Dinner With Andre".

Only for retards.