The Steven King world
Correspondent:: Zapanaz
Date: Mon, 22 Nov 2004 23:25:35 -0800
--------
Walking up to Starbuck's, there is a man in a black leather jacket,
kind of a biker's jacket. Large, heavy-set, thick hair and a beard,
black but greying. He looks a LOT like Steven King.
He is talking with the manager of Starbuck's, a weasel bastard, and
another guy who I don't see well ... but who looks like a shorter
version of Steven King.
I double-take on this a little. More of a take-and-a-quarter.
Walking past them I look into the Starbuck's ... the guy looking back
at me looks nothing at all like the big guy in the leather jacket, his
hair is different, his build is different, his face is different ...
but he has kind of a long face, and big kind of bug-eyes ... and in a
different way, is a dead ringer for Steven King. Steven King at a
different moment, a different time in his life, true, but Steven King
definitely.
I start thinking of the old "Post Brothers" comic strip in Heavy
Metal, where the two main characters could step casually into
alternate realities. Some realities, everybody would be fish. In
one, everybody was Brian Eno, and it was confusing because nobody
could tell who was who, because they're all Eno. An idea they stole
for the movie "Being John Malkovich", where they walk into an
alternate reality where everybody is John Malkovich.
I look away from the bug-eyed Steven King ... just to get my bearings
on a non-Steven-King. The next face I see is a lady ... she is tall,
has jet black hair, which she combs down over her forehead and then
parts away, in two "wings", parted in the center.
Exactly like Steven King. With the long build and longish face, she
really does kind of look like a female Steven King.
What the fuck have I done now? I wonder. Have I done it? Have I
stepped into a Steven King alternate reality? Is everybody Steven
King?
"HOW IS THE COSMIC UNIVERSE AND STARS TREATING YOU, JOE?", the really
cute barista at the counter in Starbuck's says to me. Once I greeted
her by saying "how's the universe treating you?" and since then she
seems to be trying to think up her own variation of this greeting, but
she overdoes it. "I think everyone in the universe is Steven King", I
reply. She walks away.
But. She wasn't Steven King, and I ran into quite a few people since
then who were also not Steven King, so I don't think I have walked
into an alternate reality where everybody is Steven King, just one
where there are a few Steven Kings too many.
Which. Is just as well. I mean he's a great guy and all, but I think
you would get sick to death of him eventually.
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
"We used up all the sick days; so we called in dead"
--WEBN DJs--
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Tue, 23 Nov 2004 12:31:24 GMT
--------
In article ,
Zapanaz wrote:
> But. She wasn't Steven King, and I ran into quite a few people since
> then who were also not Steven King, so I don't think I have walked
> into an alternate reality where everybody is Steven King, just one
> where there are a few Steven Kings too many.
> Which. Is just as well. I mean he's a great guy and all, but I think
> you would get sick to death of him eventually.
Gee, did the profusion of Lady Chatterly posts turn everyone else into
a bot, too, like some dark twist on "The Stepford Wives?"
Besides, its spelled Stephen. I guess his wet macular degeneration is
causing people to forget how to spell his name.
--
HellPump Nuey
The abject beauty of the blah blah blah
is directly and inversely proportional
to the grinding horror of the ungh urgh argh.
For every human problem,
there is a neat, simple solution;
and it is always wrong
- H. L. Mencken
"I like my sex the way I like my basketball:
one-on-one and with as little rimming as possible."
- "Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult"
Correspondent:: König Prüß, GfbAEV
Date: Tue, 23 Nov 2004 12:48:47 GMT
--------
HellPope Huey wrote:
> In article ,
> Zapanaz wrote:
>
> > But. She wasn't Steven King, and I ran into quite a few people since
> > then who were also not Steven King, so I don't think I have walked
> > into an alternate reality where everybody is Steven King, just one
> > where there are a few Steven Kings too many.
> > Which. Is just as well. I mean he's a great guy and all, but I think
> > you would get sick to death of him eventually.
>
> Gee, did the profusion of Lady Chatterly posts turn everyone else into
> a bot, too, like some dark twist on "The Stepford Wives?"
>
>
I think that Lady Chatterly is what you might call a dark twist.
She was born that way, it's talent on loan from Jesus.
Ditto.
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Tue, 23 Nov 2004 17:06:37 GMT
--------
In article <41A331AE.40FB1F4@ranunculus.org>,
Konig Pruss, GfbAEV wrote:
> HellPope Huey wrote:
> > Gee, did the profusion of Lady Chatterly posts turn everyone else into
> > a bot, too, like some dark twist on "The Stepford Wives?"
> I think that Lady Chatterly is what you might call a dark twist.
> She was born that way, it's talent on loan from Jesus.
> Ditto.
He's gonna be really mad when she returns it all stained and full of
holes.
--
HellPope Huey
The abject beauty of the blah blah blah
is directly and inversely proportional
to the grinding horror of the ungh urgh argh.
For every human problem,
there is a neat, simple solution;
and it is always wrong
- H. L. Mencken
"I like my sex the way I like my basketball:
one-on-one and with as little rimming as possible."
- "Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult"
Correspondent:: "ouroboros rex"
Date: Wed, 24 Nov 2004 13:28:11 -0600
--------
"Zapanaz" wrote in message
news:cho5q0tivuqb9t0894vn9fheufa46h7jcf@4ax.com...
>
> Walking up to Starbuck's, there is a man in a black leather jacket,
> kind of a biker's jacket. Large, heavy-set, thick hair and a beard,
> black but greying. He looks a LOT like Steven King.
>
> He is talking with the manager of Starbuck's, a weasel bastard, and
> another guy who I don't see well ... but who looks like a shorter
> version of Steven King.
>
> I double-take on this a little. More of a take-and-a-quarter.
> Walking past them I look into the Starbuck's ... the guy looking back
> at me looks nothing at all like the big guy in the leather jacket, his
> hair is different, his build is different, his face is different ...
> but he has kind of a long face, and big kind of bug-eyes ... and in a
> different way, is a dead ringer for Steven King. Steven King at a
> different moment, a different time in his life, true, but Steven King
> definitely.
>
> I start thinking of the old "Post Brothers" comic strip in Heavy
> Metal, where the two main characters could step casually into
> alternate realities. Some realities, everybody would be fish. In
> one, everybody was Brian Eno, and it was confusing because nobody
> could tell who was who, because they're all Eno.
there's a whole series of comics.
Correspondent:: Zapanaz
Date: Wed, 24 Nov 2004 14:44:46 -0800
--------
On Wed, 24 Nov 2004 13:28:11 -0600, "ouroboros rex"
wrote:
> there's a whole series of comics.
ah thanks for that, I didn't know they went beyond what was in HM.
I loved the Post Brothers.
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
btw, how does anyone go into a book shop and ask for the "Idiots guide
to sex" without their head exploding from embarrassment? - even my cat
figured that one out, and it's still working on the coming in out of
the rain thing.