Palestinian Rain

Correspondent:: Soot Bull Jeep
Date: Sat, 13 Nov 2004 11:13:24 -0800

--------
So I got in late the other night and after settling in amongst
the pillows and stokin' a bowl of fab frop I came across Arafat's
disposal on MSNBC. As the crowd crammed into the Ramallah compound
the place went apeshit with all the chanting, Kalishnakovs and crowd
surfers. Anyway, after watching all the rounds going skyward for about
a half hour it dawned on me that I had an excellent product to market
in the Arab world.

The Palestinian Rain Umbrella®

Made from military grade DuPont Kevlar, The Palestinian Rain Umbrella®
will protest you from falling projectiles from all small arms weapons.
The Palestinian Rain Umbrella® is not rated from the protection from
mortar shells, RPG loads and heavy ordnance. Sold in red, black, white
and green.
Retail price: $49.99USD

Waddya think folks, I got a brillant product or what?

SBJ

Correspondent:: König Prüß, GfbAEV
Date: Sat, 13 Nov 2004 19:26:05 GMT

--------

Soot Bull Jeep wrote:

> So I got in late the other night and after settling in amongst
> the pillows and stokin' a bowl of fab frop I came across Arafat's
> disposal on MSNBC. As the crowd crammed into the Ramallah compound
> the place went apeshit with all the chanting, Kalishnakovs and crowd
> surfers. Anyway, after watching all the rounds going skyward for about
> a half hour it dawned on me that I had an excellent product to market
> in the Arab world.
>
> The Palestinian Rain Umbrella®
>
> Made from military grade DuPont Kevlar, The Palestinian Rain Umbrella®
> will protest you from falling projectiles from all small arms weapons.
> The Palestinian Rain Umbrella® is not rated from the protection from
> mortar shells, RPG loads and heavy ordnance. Sold in red, black, white
> and green.
> Retail price: $49.99USD
>
> Waddya think folks, I got a brillant product or what?
>
> SBJ

Yeah, I wondered about that! I think you got a product!

You know Arafat won the Nobel Peace Prize?
The Nobel Peace Prize 1994
Yasser Arafat
1/3 of the prize
Shimon Peres
1/3 of the prize
Yitzhak Rabin
1/3 of the prize
"for their efforts to create peace in the Middle East"

Correspondent:: Cardinal Vertigo
Date: Sat, 13 Nov 2004 22:14:05 GMT

--------
König Prüß wrote:
>
> Soot Bull Jeep wrote:
>
>> So I got in late the other night and after settling in amongst
>> the pillows and stokin' a bowl of fab frop I came across Arafat's
>> disposal on MSNBC. As the crowd crammed into the Ramallah compound
>> the place went apeshit with all the chanting, Kalishnakovs and crowd
>> surfers. Anyway, after watching all the rounds going skyward for about
>> a half hour it dawned on me that I had an excellent product to market
>> in the Arab world.
>>
>> The Palestinian Rain Umbrella®
>>
>> Made from military grade DuPont Kevlar, The Palestinian Rain Umbrella®
>> will protest you from falling projectiles from all small arms weapons.
>> The Palestinian Rain Umbrella® is not rated from the protection from
>> mortar shells, RPG loads and heavy ordnance. Sold in red, black, white
>> and green.
>> Retail price: $49.99USD
>>
>> Waddya think folks, I got a brillant product or what?
>>
>> SBJ
>
> Yeah, I wondered about that! I think you got a product!
>
> You know Arafat won the Nobel Peace Prize?
> The Nobel Peace Prize 1994
> Yasser Arafat
> 1/3 of the prize
> Shimon Peres
> 1/3 of the prize
> Yitzhak Rabin
> 1/3 of the prize
> "for their efforts to create peace in the Middle East"

Yeah, well, you know, it was 1994. The ink was barely dry on the Oslo
Accords, Yitzhak Rabin hadn't yet been assassinated, Arafat's acceptance
of UNSC Resolution 242 was still pretty fresh in everyone's mind, and
the al-Aqsa Intifada didn't yet exist. There was a lot of hope.

Those were just different times.

Correspondent:: A_Lizard
Date: Sat, 13 Nov 2004 13:08:16 -0800

--------
On Sat, 13 Nov 2004 11:13:24 -0800, Soot Bull Jeep wrote:

und
[snip]
> The Palestinian Rain Umbrella® is not rated from the protection from
> mortar shells, RPG loads and heavy ordnance. Sold in red, black, white
> and green.
> Retail price: $49.99USD
If you actually plan to use Kevlar, multiply the price by 10x and price it
in Euros. Not that I care if you don't, but I'm not sure it is advisable
to piss off a bunch of armed crazies who can probably figure out where you
live by virtue of whatever payment arrangements you make.

A.Lizard

>

Correspondent:: Soot Bull Jeep
Date: Sat, 13 Nov 2004 17:10:13 -0800

--------

A_Lizard wrote:
> On Sat, 13 Nov 2004 11:13:24 -0800, Soot Bull Jeep wrote:
>
> und
> [snip]
>
>>The Palestinian Rain Umbrella® is not rated from the protection from
>>mortar shells, RPG loads and heavy ordnance. Sold in red, black, white
>>and green.
>>Retail price: $49.99USD
>
> If you actually plan to use Kevlar, multiply the price by 10x and price it
> in Euros. Not that I care if you don't, but I'm not sure it is advisable
> to piss off a bunch of armed crazies who can probably figure out where you
> live by virtue of whatever payment arrangements you make.

You gotta GREAT point, Euros it is!
What's good for Fidel is good for me.

And you've instantly upped my profits 30% as well!

Don't bother watching your mailbox for a bonus check though.

May Slack® be upon you.

SBJ

Correspondent:: Soot Bull Jeep
Date: Sat, 13 Nov 2004 17:10:36 -0800

Correspondent:: Soot Bull Jeep
Date: Sat, 13 Nov 2004 17:13:26 -0800

Correspondent:: Soot Bull Jeep
Date: Sat, 13 Nov 2004 17:14:45 -0800

Correspondent:: Candlemoth
Date: Sun, 14 Nov 2004 00:40:17 -0800

--------
Soot Bull Jeep wrote:

>
>
> A_Lizard wrote:
>
>> On Sat, 13 Nov 2004 11:13:24 -0800, Soot Bull Jeep wrote:
>>
>> und
>> [snip]
>>
>>> The Palestinian Rain Umbrella® is not rated from the protection from
>>> mortar shells, RPG loads and heavy ordnance. Sold in red, black,
>>> white and green.
>>> Retail price: $49.99USD
>>
>>
>> If you actually plan to use Kevlar, multiply the price by 10x and
>> price it
>> in Euros. Not that I care if you don't, but I'm not sure it is advisable
>> to piss off a bunch of armed crazies who can probably figure out where
>> you
>> live by virtue of whatever payment arrangements you make.
>
>
> You gotta GREAT point, Euros it is!
> What's good for Fidel is good for me.
>
> And you've instantly upped my profits 30% as well!
>
>
>
> Don't bother watching your mailbox for a bonus check though.
>
> May Slack® be upon you.
>
>
> SBJ
>
>
>
Okay, okay.. You've thanked us enough.. ObSheesh!

Correspondent:: Zapanaz
Date: Sat, 13 Nov 2004 23:41:29 -0800

--------
On Sun, 14 Nov 2004 00:40:17 -0800, Candlemoth
wrote:

>Soot Bull Jeep wrote:
>
>>
>>
>> A_Lizard wrote:
>>
>>> On Sat, 13 Nov 2004 11:13:24 -0800, Soot Bull Jeep wrote:
>>>
>>> und
>>> [snip]
>>>
>>>> The Palestinian Rain Umbrella® is not rated from the protection from
>>>> mortar shells, RPG loads and heavy ordnance. Sold in red, black,
>>>> white and green.
>>>> Retail price: $49.99USD
>>>
>>>
>>> If you actually plan to use Kevlar, multiply the price by 10x and
>>> price it
>>> in Euros. Not that I care if you don't, but I'm not sure it is advisable
>>> to piss off a bunch of armed crazies who can probably figure out where
>>> you
>>> live by virtue of whatever payment arrangements you make.
>>
>>
>> You gotta GREAT point, Euros it is!
>> What's good for Fidel is good for me.
>>
>> And you've instantly upped my profits 30% as well!
>>
>>
>>
>> Don't bother watching your mailbox for a bonus check though.
>>
>> May Slack® be upon you.
>>
>>
>> SBJ
>>
>>
>>
>Okay, okay.. You've thanked us enough.. ObSheesh!

FIX YOUR TIME ZONE.

--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
Without God, people might get more specific.
- Andrei Codrescu

Correspondent:: Zapanaz
Date: Sun, 14 Nov 2004 10:02:19 -0800

--------
On Sun, 14 Nov 2004 07:05:43 -0800, Candlemoth
wrote:

>Zapanaz wrote:
>> On Sun, 14 Nov 2004 00:40:17 -0800, Candlemoth
>> wrote:
>>
>>
>>>Soot Bull Jeep wrote:
>>>
>>>
>>>>
>>>>A_Lizard wrote:
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>>On Sat, 13 Nov 2004 11:13:24 -0800, Soot Bull Jeep wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>und
>>>>>[snip]

>> FIX YOUR TIME ZONE.
>>
>
>FUCK THEE..

YOU'RE WELCOME

--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
Can someone explain the point of having a 1.2 GHZ Pentium IV demon if you're going
to attach things to the parallel port?
- Lupus Yonderboy

Correspondent:: "Malvolio"
Date: Sun, 14 Nov 2004 14:29:12 -0500

--------

"Zapanaz" wrote in message
news:dc7fp010h614gqq4o5sh59qknkb2b9de1e@4ax.com...
> On Sun, 14 Nov 2004 07:05:43 -0800, Candlemoth
> wrote:
>
> >Zapanaz wrote:
> >> On Sun, 14 Nov 2004 00:40:17 -0800, Candlemoth
> >> wrote:
> >>
> >>
> >>>Soot Bull Jeep wrote:
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>>
> >>>>A_Lizard wrote:
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>>On Sat, 13 Nov 2004 11:13:24 -0800, Soot Bull Jeep wrote:
> >>>>>
> >>>>>und
> >>>>>[snip]
>
>
> >> FIX YOUR TIME ZONE.
> >>
> >
> >FUCK THEE..
>
> YOU'RE WELCOME
>
> --
> Zapanaz
> International Satanic Conspiracy
> Customer Support Specialist
> http://joecosby.com/
> Can someone explain the point of having a 1.2 GHZ Pentium IV demon if
you're going
> to attach things to the parallel port?
> - Lupus Yonderboy
Certainly: it's the same point there is in having a jet airplane take you
from New York to Los Angeles so you can crawl along the California freeways.

Correspondent:: Zapanaz
Date: Sun, 14 Nov 2004 12:53:48 -0800

--------
On Sun, 14 Nov 2004 14:29:12 -0500, "Malvolio"
wrote:

>Certainly: it's the same point there is in having a jet airplane take you
>from New York to Los Angeles so you can crawl along the California freeways.

A friend of mine goes to the gym to work out daily, and when she gets
there she will spend 20 minutes looking for a parking space near the
front so she doesn't have to walk so far.

--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
No S in MONTER

- The Rev. Ivan Stang

Correspondent:: "D. R. Crawford"
Date: Sun, 14 Nov 2004 17:07:24 -0500

--------

"Zapanaz" wrote in message
news:idhfp0phja7lb09at6fjordi6f0vcdudpf@4ax.com...
> On Sun, 14 Nov 2004 14:29:12 -0500, "Malvolio"
> wrote:
>
> >Certainly: it's the same point there is in having a jet airplane take you
> >from New York to Los Angeles so you can crawl along the California
freeways.
>
> A friend of mine goes to the gym to work out daily, and when she gets
> there she will spend 20 minutes looking for a parking space near the
> front so she doesn't have to walk so far.
>
Women seem to have a special gift that way; I'm sure we've all seen a woman
ordering a cheeseburger, fries ... and a Diet Coke.

Correspondent:: Cardinal Vertigo
Date: Wed, 17 Nov 2004 18:26:58 GMT

--------
D. R. Crawford wrote:
> "Zapanaz" wrote in message
> news:idhfp0phja7lb09at6fjordi6f0vcdudpf@4ax.com...
>> On Sun, 14 Nov 2004 14:29:12 -0500, "Malvolio"
>> wrote:
>>
>> >Certainly: it's the same point there is in having a jet airplane take you
>> >from New York to Los Angeles so you can crawl along the California
> freeways.
>>
>> A friend of mine goes to the gym to work out daily, and when she gets
>> there she will spend 20 minutes looking for a parking space near the
>> front so she doesn't have to walk so far.
>>
> Women seem to have a special gift that way; I'm sure we've all seen a woman
> ordering a cheeseburger, fries ... and a Diet Coke.

"Just for the taste of it... Diet Coke!"

Correspondent:: Miz Daisy Cutter
Date: Sat, 13 Nov 2004 23:21:49 GMT

--------
In article <10pcn6kt0mc2cd6@corp.supernews.com>,
Soot Bull Jeep wrote:

> The Palestinian Rain Umbrella®
>
> Made from military grade DuPont Kevlar, The Palestinian Rain Umbrella®
> will protest you from falling projectiles from all small arms weapons.
> The Palestinian Rain Umbrella® is not rated from the protection from
> mortar shells, RPG loads and heavy ordnance.

How about biohazard protection from fine mists of blood, bits of flying
flesh studded with nails and glass shards, and the body parts inevitably
tossed around whenever Pallies congregate in the street around a new
corpse (in celebration when it's a 'Raelie, in distress when it's a
camelfucker)?

-- Daze

--
I doubt you're the only person who's complained that the Saudis
don't have an international all-beheading cable TV/satellite
channel yet.
-- A. Lizard