How do you make a guitarist play quieter?
Correspondent:: "Sally Smyth"
Date: Fri, 26 Nov 2004 23:48:29 -0800
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http://www.guitarsite.com/jokes.htm
http://www.guitarsite.com/Yngwie.htm#TOP
Q - What is the definition of a minor second?
A - Two lead guitarists playing in unision.
Q - How do you make a lead guitarist slow down?
A - Put some sheet music in front of him.
Q - How do you make a guitarist play quieter?
A - Put a sheet of music in front of him.
Q - How do you make him stop?
A - Put notes on it.
Q - How many guitarists does it take to change a light-bulb?
A - Twenty. One to change the bulb and nineteen to say
"Not bad, but I could've done better."Q - What do a cup of coffee and
Eric Clapton have in common?
A - They both suck without Cream
Q - What's the difference between a guitarist and a mutual fund?
A - One matures.
Q - What do you call a guitar player without a girlfriend?
A - Homeless.
Q - Why did the guitar player join the band?
A - He wanted to hang out with musicians.
Q - How does a guitar player change a light bulb?
A - He lies on the bed so that the room is spinning around it.
Q - How does a guitar player show up for practice?
A - Drunk and late......... as usual
Q - How many guitar players does it take to cover a Stevie Ray Vaughan tune
?
A - Evidently all of them.
Q - How do you get a rhythm guitarist to play softer?
A - Give him music to read.
Q - What's the difference between a guitar and a tuna fish?
A - You can tune a guitar but you can't tuna fish.
Q - What do you throw a drowning guitarist ?
A - His amplifier.
Q - What do you call two guitarists playing in unison?
A - Counterpoint.
Q - What did the guitar say to the guitarist?
A - Pick on someone your own size!
Q - How do you make a guitarist's eyes light up?
A - Shine a flashlight in his ear.
Q - What's the range of a Gibson Les Paul?
A - Depends on how far you throw it.
Q - Why are so many guitarists jokes one liners?
A - So the rest of the band can understand them.
Q - What's the difference between a guitar player and a bag of garbage?
A - The garbage gets taken out at least once a week.
Q - What's black and blue and laying in a ditch?
A - A guitarist who's told too many drummer jokes.
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Sun, 28 Nov 2004 05:45:38 GMT
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In article <30qppqF32ls0mU1@uni-berlin.de>,
"Sally Smyth" wrote:
> http://www.guitarsite.com/jokes.htm
> > http://www.guitarsite.com/Yngwie.htm#TOP
>
> Q - What is the definition of a minor second?
> A - Two lead guitarists playing in unision.
>
> Q - How do you make a lead guitarist slow down?
> A - Put some sheet music in front of him.
..............
> Q - What's the difference between a guitar player and a bag of garbage?
> A - The garbage gets taken out at least once a week.
>
> Q - What's black and blue and laying in a ditch?
> A - A guitarist who's told too many drummer jokes.
Q - What did the elephant say to the pianist?
A - Give me my damned tusks back or I'm going to sit on your face and
squirm around until you stop wiggling.
--
HellPope Huey
The abject beauty of the blah blah blah
is directly and inversely proportional
to the grinding horror of the ungh urgh argh.
For every human problem,
there is a neat, simple solution;
and it is always wrong
- H. L. Mencken
"I like my sex the way I like my basketball:
one-on-one and with as little rimming as possible."
- "Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult"