FUCK YOU ALT.SLACK (by Alanis Morissette)
Correspondent:: polar bear
Date: Tue, 23 Nov 2004 07:10:21 -0800
--------
In article <426f26af.0411221608.159cf975@posting.google.com>,
hexanthic@techemail.com (Den Mu) wrote:
> Most of you are fuckheads.
How 'bout getting rid of these idiot fuckheads?
How 'bout stopping greeting us at Wal-Mart?
How 'bout them transplanted dangling bollocks?
How 'bout that ever abusive Nenslo?
Fuck you Internet
Fuck you Purple
Fuck you JR "Bob" Dobbs
Fuck you frop heads
Fuck you Ivan Stang
Fuck you, fuck you Nenslo
How 'bout you not flaming us for anything?
How 'bout you deploying your own brain for once?
How 'bout how good it feels to finally destroy you?
How 'bout killing you all one at a time?
Fuck you Zapanas
Fuck you Den Mu
Fuck you JR "Bob" Dobbs
Fuck you Hell Pope
Fuck you Polar Bear
Fuck you, fuck you Nenslo
The moment I let go a fart was
The moment you got more than you could handle
The moment I jumped Connie's bones was
The moment she went down
How 'bout no longer being optimistic?
How 'bout remembering your vulgarity?
How 'bout hysterically laughing your ass off?
How 'bout not equating Slack with slacking?
Fuck you Israel
Fuck you Washington
Fuck you George W Bush
Fuck you Neocons
Fuck you Christians
Fuck you, fuck you Satan
yeah yeah yeah-a
a polah polah beyah!
yah yah yah
a polah polah pah!
pb
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Tue, 23 Nov 2004 16:31:57 GMT
--------
Fuck you, annoying girl singers whose sense of pitch slides randomly up
and down a major seventh from note to note. Proof positive that even if
you can't teach a pig to sing, you CAN get it to make noises into a mic
if you shovel enough money at it.
--
HellPope Huey
The abject beauty of the blah blah blah
is directly and inversely proportional
to the grinding horror of the ungh urgh argh.
For every human problem,
there is a neat, simple solution;
and it is always wrong
- H. L. Mencken
"I like my sex the way I like my basketball:
one-on-one and with as little rimming as possible."
- "Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult"
Correspondent:: Cardinal Vertigo
Date: Tue, 23 Nov 2004 17:30:21 GMT
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HellPope Huey wrote:
> Fuck you, annoying girl singers whose sense of pitch slides randomly up
> and down a major seventh from note to note. Proof positive that even if
> you can't teach a pig to sing, you CAN get it to make noises into a mic
> if you shovel enough money at it.
Making noises into a mic is all you need to be able to do, with the
right vocal processors. "Perfect pitch in a box!"
http://www.antarestech.com/products/atr1a.html
Affordable and effective!
Correspondent:: Zapanaz
Date: Tue, 23 Nov 2004 13:11:05 -0800
--------
On Tue, 23 Nov 2004 16:31:57 GMT, HellPope Huey
wrote:
>
> Fuck you, annoying girl singers whose sense of pitch slides randomly up
>and down a major seventh from note to note. Proof positive that even if
>you can't teach a pig to sing, you CAN get it to make noises into a mic
>if you shovel enough money at it.
I've been listening to Dido lately. Very pretty stuff but she doesn't
so much sing as just picks up the mic and starts talking about her
relationship and how she feels about her father and what happened to
her at work today and and and
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
"Every few years they make a red-assed baboon and a blue-assed baboon
fight, and the winner gets to be king. Some people think red-assed
baboons are angels and blue-assed baboons are devils, and some people
think just the opposite. But whichever one wins is still only a baboon,
which only knows one trick - stealing your wallet."
nenslo
Correspondent:: Zapanaz
Date: Tue, 23 Nov 2004 13:13:57 -0800
--------
On Tue, 23 Nov 2004 13:11:05 -0800, Zapanaz
wrote:
>On Tue, 23 Nov 2004 16:31:57 GMT, HellPope Huey
> wrote:
>
>>
>> Fuck you, annoying girl singers whose sense of pitch slides randomly up
>>and down a major seventh from note to note. Proof positive that even if
>>you can't teach a pig to sing, you CAN get it to make noises into a mic
>>if you shovel enough money at it.
>
>I've been listening to Dido lately. Very pretty stuff but she doesn't
>so much sing as just picks up the mic and starts talking about her
>relationship and how she feels about her father and what happened to
>her at work today and and and
On the other hand, that also describes my posting to alt.slack.
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
The Outlook Today
People today are feeling more positive than ever. If you’re
a person today, chances are you could just shit yourself
with happiness. More than ever before, people are waking up
in the morning, fixing themselves cups of fresh-ground coffee,
taking a full, hearty swig, and thinking with a smile, “I’ve
got options!"
- http://www.exile.ru/135/feature.php
Correspondent:: kdetal@aol.com (kdetal)
Date: 23 Nov 2004 22:57:23 GMT
--------
>I've been listening to Dido lately. Very pretty stuff but she doesn't
>>so much sing as just picks up the mic and starts talking about her
>>relationship and how she feels about her father and what happened to
>>her at work today and and and
>
>On the other hand, that also describes my posting to alt.slack.
Yes but Dido does not provide the joys of this, that, randomly capitalized
letters, mispelled words, and shut up*.
*Not capitalized here in deference to Nenslo.
--
" 'Tis an ill wind that blows no minds." -RAW
Correspondent:: polar bear
Date: Tue, 23 Nov 2004 15:44:25 -0800
--------
In article ,
HellPope Huey wrote:
> Fuck you, annoying girl singers whose sense of pitch slides randomly up
> and down a major seventh from note to note. Proof positive that even if
> you can't teach a pig to sing, you CAN get it to make noises into a mic
> if you shovel enough money at it.
>
Girl singer? Dude, she's thirty. I'll take any amount of her over
those disposable booty queens that pop up like dandilions in a vacant
lot. I don't mind Alanis nearly as much as her audience (which she's
tried to shake off at least twice in her career). Talk about needy...
you'd swear you were at a Benny Hinn devival.
Anyway... best thing about Alanis: She's not Celine Dion. (who
incidently now does commercials for Air Canada - in a flight
attendant's uniform, no less*) And to think I actually liked her when
she sang in french.
pb
* if I was Celine's director, I'd have put her on the tarmac in an
orange jumpsuit with a couple of flashlights, where with any luck at
all, she'd be sucked into a jet engine. This woman is famous for a
song about a ship that SANK, and now she's doing airline commercials?
Think about that for a moment.
Correspondent:: nenslo
Date: Tue, 23 Nov 2004 21:39:58 -0800
--------
polar bear wrote:
>
> In article ,
> HellPope Huey wrote:
>
> > Fuck you, annoying girl singers whose sense of pitch slides randomly up
> > and down a major seventh from note to note. Proof positive that even if
> > you can't teach a pig to sing, you CAN get it to make noises into a mic
> > if you shovel enough money at it.
> >
> Girl singer? Dude, she's thirty. I'll take any amount of her over
> those disposable booty queens that pop up like dandilions in a vacant
> lot. I don't mind Alanis nearly as much as her audience (which she's
> tried to shake off at least twice in her career). Talk about needy...
> you'd swear you were at a Benny Hinn devival.
Two words: SOPHIE TUCKER
Correspondent:: polar bear
Date: Wed, 24 Nov 2004 13:58:24 -0800
--------
In article <41A41EAC.91526670@yahoox.com>, nenslo
wrote:
> polar bear wrote:
> >
> > In article ,
> > HellPope Huey wrote:
> >
> > > Fuck you, annoying girl singers whose sense of pitch slides randomly up
> > > and down a major seventh from note to note. Proof positive that even if
> > > you can't teach a pig to sing, you CAN get it to make noises into a mic
> > > if you shovel enough money at it.
> > >
> > Girl singer? Dude, she's thirty. I'll take any amount of her over
> > those disposable booty queens that pop up like dandilions in a vacant
> > lot. I don't mind Alanis nearly as much as her audience (which she's
> > tried to shake off at least twice in her career). Talk about needy...
> > you'd swear you were at a Benny Hinn devival.
>
>
> Two words: SOPHIE TUCKER
Yes, who could forget "Nobody Loves a Fat Girl, But Oh How a Fat Girl
Can Love."
pb
Correspondent:: bobdiddley@aol.com (3D Bob Not Diddley)
Date: 24 Nov 2004 22:39:58 GMT
--------
Polar Bear heaved ho so:
>HellPope Huey wrote:
>
>> Fuck you, annoying girl singers whose sense of pitch slides randomly up
>> and down a major seventh from note to note. Proof positive that even if
>> you can't teach a pig to sing, you CAN get it to make noises into a mic
>> if you shovel enough money at it.
>>
>Girl singer? Dude, she's thirty. I'll take any amount of her over
>those disposable booty queens that pop up like dandilions in a vacant
>lot. I don't mind Alanis nearly as much as her audience (which she's
>tried to shake off at least twice in her career). Talk about needy...
>you'd swear you were at a Benny Hinn devival.
>
My son went to high school with Alanis - she was already a bit of a snooty pop
star even then. She started her career on a kids' tv show called "You Can't Do
That On Television" - kind of Sesame Street meets Soupy Sales. When the Dalai
Lama came to Ottawa this year, of all the people in Canada, Alanis was the one
who got to introduce Him. Better her than Richard Gere.
>Anyway... best thing about Alanis: She's not Celine Dion. (who
>incidently now does commercials for Air Canada - in a flight
>attendant's uniform, no less*) And to think I actually liked her when
>she sang in french.
Then I guess it's her who does the singing in the Air Canada commercials. I
don't like flying at all, and like AC even less, but the PriMate and I were
both impressed with the vocal chops on that commercial. She does crappy songs
and double-crappy gigs, but the skinny little twat's got pipes.
=========================================================
"Money talks, and bullshit sings the blues." Dobbs Biddley
Correspondent:: Zapanaz
Date: Wed, 24 Nov 2004 14:47:46 -0800
--------
On 24 Nov 2004 22:39:58 GMT, bobdiddley@aol.com (3D Bob Not Diddley)
wrote:
>When the Dalai
>Lama came to Ottawa this year, of all the people in Canada, Alanis was the one
>who got to introduce Him. Better her than Richard Gere.
They should have Richard Gere, John Travolta, and Mel Gibson have a
miracle contest. They lock them in a sealed room and start filling it
with water. The first one whose religion provides a miracle and
miracles them out of the room before they drown, wins.
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
I don't judge a book by it's cover. I judge it by how many pages are stuck together
- The Rev. Ivan Stang
Correspondent:: polar bear
Date: Thu, 25 Nov 2004 13:16:02 -0800
--------
In article <20041124173958.06555.00000686@mb-m24.aol.com>,
bobdiddley@aol.com (3D Bob Not Diddley) wrote:
> Polar Bear heaved ho so:
> >HellPope Huey wrote:
> >
> >> Fuck you, annoying girl singers whose sense of pitch slides randomly up
> >> and down a major seventh from note to note. Proof positive that even if
> >> you can't teach a pig to sing, you CAN get it to make noises into a mic
> >> if you shovel enough money at it.
> >>
> >Girl singer? Dude, she's thirty. I'll take any amount of her over
> >those disposable booty queens that pop up like dandilions in a vacant
> >lot. I don't mind Alanis nearly as much as her audience (which she's
> >tried to shake off at least twice in her career). Talk about needy...
> >you'd swear you were at a Benny Hinn devival.
> >
> My son went to high school with Alanis - she was already a bit of a snooty pop
> star even then. She started her career on a kids' tv show called "You Can't Do
> That On Television" - kind of Sesame Street meets Soupy Sales. When the Dalai
> Lama came to Ottawa this year, of all the people in Canada, Alanis was the one
> who got to introduce Him. Better her than Richard Gere.
>
> >Anyway... best thing about Alanis: She's not Celine Dion. (who
> >incidently now does commercials for Air Canada - in a flight
> >attendant's uniform, no less*) And to think I actually liked her when
> >she sang in french.
> Then I guess it's her who does the singing in the Air Canada commercials. I
> don't like flying at all, and like AC even less, but the PriMate and I were
> both impressed with the vocal chops on that commercial. She does crappy songs
> and double-crappy gigs, but the skinny little twat's got pipes.
>
She was really good when she was French. If you can find any of her
early albums they're definitely worth a listen. Stupid English
pig-dog music industry. Why couldn't they just leave her alone?
Tabernac!
pb
Correspondent:: bobdiddley@aol.com (The OTHER Bob D from Canada)
Date: 26 Nov 2004 01:34:24 GMT
--------
Poalr Bear sez:
>She (Celine Dion) was really good when she was French. If you can find any
of her
>early albums they're definitely worth a listen. Stupid English
>pig-dog music industry. Why couldn't they just leave her alone?
>
>Tabernac!
I blame David Foster - he can turn anything into Pepto-Bismol.
=========================================================
"Money talks, and bullshit sings the blues." Didds Bobbly
Correspondent:: Cardinal Vertigo
Date: Fri, 26 Nov 2004 01:05:52 GMT
--------
3D Bob Not Diddley wrote:
> My son went to high school with Alanis - she was already a bit of a snooty pop
> star even then. She started her career on a kids' tv show called "You Can't Do
> That On Television" - kind of Sesame Street meets Soupy Sales.
Never heard of Soupy Sales, but a lot of us grew up watching You Can't
Do That on Television. It was a pretty big-time kids' show in its day
-- back when Nickelodeon was new and hip -- and had some pretty
subversive themes considering the times.
It was the first show to use the gimmick of "being slimed." The format
was sketch comedy, and the gimmick was that whenever a character said "I
don't know," a few gallons of green slime poured down on their heads
from off-camera above. A lot of sketches were based around one
character trying to trick another into saying the magic words.
Ah, memories.
Correspondent:: Cardinal Vertigo
Date: Tue, 23 Nov 2004 17:35:21 GMT
--------
polar bear wrote:
> In article <426f26af.0411221608.159cf975@posting.google.com>,
> hexanthic@techemail.com (Den Mu) wrote:
>
>> Most of you are fuckheads.
>
> How 'bout getting rid of these idiot fuckheads?
> How 'bout stopping greeting us at Wal-Mart?
> How 'bout them transplanted dangling bollocks?
> How 'bout that ever abusive Nenslo?
>
> Fuck you Internet
> Fuck you Purple
> Fuck you JR "Bob" Dobbs
> Fuck you frop heads
You know, "fuck you Vertigo" fits perfectly with the meter, and yet you
went with the awkward "fuck you frop heads."
I'm concerned that you're engaging in self-censorship, which is never
healthy for an artist.
Correspondent:: polar bear
Date: Tue, 23 Nov 2004 14:55:40 -0800
--------
In article , Cardinal
Vertigo wrote:
> polar bear wrote:
> > In article <426f26af.0411221608.159cf975@posting.google.com>,
> > hexanthic@techemail.com (Den Mu) wrote:
> >
> >> Most of you are fuckheads.
> >
> > How 'bout getting rid of these idiot fuckheads?
> > How 'bout stopping greeting us at Wal-Mart?
> > How 'bout them transplanted dangling bollocks?
> > How 'bout that ever abusive Nenslo?
> >
> > Fuck you Internet
> > Fuck you Purple
> > Fuck you JR "Bob" Dobbs
> > Fuck you frop heads
>
> You know, "fuck you Vertigo" fits perfectly with the meter, and yet you
> went with the awkward "fuck you frop heads."
Actually it doesn't. There's two sylables at that point, and Vertigo
has three. I know, I cheated on JR "Bob" Dobbs..... should have been
JR Robert Dobbs, but then nobody would know what I who I was talking
about.
>
> I'm concerned that you're engaging in self-censorship, which is never
> healthy for an artist.
I am not an artist, I am a free man!
pb