Exciting new business opportunity

Correspondent:: Unclaimed Mysteries
Date: Thu, 04 Nov 2004 02:07:16 GMT

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The Australian secret ballot has long been an obstacle in effective and
lucrative voter coercion. Yesterday as I cast what may be my last vote
ever, I noticed how lots of folks had their cell phones in the booth.
How can we leverage this technology to keep people in line yet maintain
the fiction of election fairness?

1) Offer your election enhancement services to a candidate. Start small
and work up to larger elections.

2) Find a small group of target voters you want to "manage."

3) Tell them to wear their camera phone into the voting place.

4) Tell them to act natural, like they don't care... ($1 to Steely Dan)

5) Require them to discreetly take a time-stamped picture as they hunker
over the ballot of face the machine. The pic will show they have voted
as they have been told. Upload the pic to the proper people to confirm
voter compliance.

6) If they satisfy the requirements, they live. Else pop a cap in 'em or
at least kneecap 'em at a prudent time and place.

7) Profit!

The game's up when cell phones are prohibited in the booth. Until then,
enjoy!
--
It Came From C. L. Smith's Unclaimed Mysteries.
http://www.unclaimedmysteries.net

T. Boozer wrote in rolltidefan.net: "That dude that took the picture,
Corry Smith, is a bigtime aubie. Notice he named the pic
'BRIANDENNEHYstadium' Screw him!"