"Bob" Makes Your Own Reality
Posted by:: "nu-monet v7.0"
Date: Sun, 06 Mar 2005 17:23:36 -0700
--------
"You make your own reality."
That's a really New-Agey thing to say.
You make your own reality. Or at least a part of you that
is really masochistic, full of self-hatred and with very
low self-esteem, and filled with anxiety and neurosis.
Yeah, it makes your reality.
Except for those horrible invisible alien parasite things
that suck on your lifeforce. They make your reality, too.
They are so much in control of you that you think it's you.
And the CONspiracy. At least they try. And pretty successfully,
too, judging from most of the people you meet. They make up a
lot of your reality. At least the 'content' part of your show.
And all your "peers" and the "adults" who tried to act all
"normal" around you when you were growing up, yet totally
dumped on you if you exhibited the slightest bit of creativity
or self-determination. They really wanted a hand in there,
making your reality. But they were always disappointed in you.
Your reality never did manage to live up to their expectations.
And previous lives, yeah. You gots tons of karmas and shit from
back when you were an Atlantian storm-trooper and you wiped out
an entire village of the local hated and despised minorities who
were called "Snurfs" or something like that. All those Snurf
ghosts be followin' you around all these millenia and messin'
with your stuff.
On top of everything else, nobody ever thought to explain to
you that you could, even in the slightest way, do something,
anything, to make your own reality. So by the time you would
have gotten around to it, it's too late, and your reality has
already been made up for you.
But "Bob" can change all of that. He is like a debt consolidation
service, wrapping all of that reality creation into one tiny, neat
little ball of aluminum foil with a rubber band around it. And
then "Bob" kicks it across the universe and you KNOW what your
reality is. There is nothing else that matters when the wing tip
of "Bob" meets your reality. For "Bob" not only gets the reality
you've got, but he reaches through time and space and gets the
reality you used to have and the reality you would have had, and
crumples them all up in that aluminum foil ball with the rubber
band around it.
And you be flyin'.
PRABOB. Hope you sent in yer $30. You'll become a Reverend.
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com
PRABOB.
--
Be Sure To Visit the 'SubGenius Reverend' Blog:
http://slackoff.blogspot.com/