Top this!

Posted by:: nenslo
Date: Thu, 24 Mar 2005 12:01:01 -0800

--------
I was digging through a box of old VHS tapes the other day and found the
copy of Arise! which Stang sent me, fifteen or more years ago. Still sealed.

Posted by:: polar bear
Date: Thu, 24 Mar 2005 12:16:16 -0800

Posted by:: nenslo
Date: Thu, 24 Mar 2005 12:53:24 -0800

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polar bear wrote:
>
>
> (consider yourself topped)

NO!

Posted by:: polar bear
Date: Fri, 25 Mar 2005 01:55:50 -0800

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In article <424328C2.80DB57E@yahoox.com>, nenslo
wrote:

> polar bear wrote:
> >
> >
> > (consider yourself topped)
>
> NO!

OK, Sir Top'em Hat. You prefer finding dusty old shit in the attic to
making out with gorgeous women? I can respect that.

Hey, if you keep on looking you might even find that Lionel train set
you had as a kid. Now THAT would hard to top.

pb

Posted by:: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
Date: Thu, 24 Mar 2005 16:19:34 -0500

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In article <42431C7D.5B4E7E7E@yahoox.com>, nenslo
wrote:

> I was digging through a box of old VHS tapes the other day and found the
> copy of Arise! which Stang sent me, fifteen or more years ago. Still sealed.

SEALED?

I have NEVER shrink-wrapped anything. Must be one of the old
"commercial" versions. Is it the green box with Dobbshead that Hal did,
looks like a detergent box, intentionally, or is it the blue one with
dreadful art of a rocket or something, by the son in law of the idiot
that signed it to Banana Video which got bought by Island which got
bought by Polygram which put it in all the Sound Warehouses which then
one month later got bought by Blockbuster, which was a Christian
company we'd already tried to sell ARISE to so they knew about it, and
which had 800 copies RETURNED to Polygram? Polygram's biggest mass
return of a movie? That copy?

That's nothing, I have the Betamax version of ARISE! with NO NARRATION,
and with "Pee on "Bob's" Head" by tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE still
tacked onto the end, unerased! Unless by sheer age of Beta tape oxide.
OH WELL.

I have a movie of the art gallery show in NYC but man, that one is just
painful to look at. I toted four huge mailing tubes with the posters
for that show down to the PO today, though. Now THAT was worth it. It
was like carrying a log in there, as I tied them together for
transporting. I made about TWENTY BUCKS EACH off those too! I signed
them and dated them in small print first. There are only about 5 of
those left now.

I'll never forget you sitting there at that gallery laughing at me and
Palmer and John Hagen-Brenner while we were signing all those old books
for a buck apiece and getting cramped up hands. Eh, come to think of
it, I might well forget it. I should live that long!

--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB

Posted by:: nenslo
Date: Thu, 24 Mar 2005 18:11:55 -0800

--------
"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
>
> In article <42431C7D.5B4E7E7E@yahoox.com>, nenslo
> wrote:
>
> > I was digging through a box of old VHS tapes the other day and found the
> > copy of Arise! which Stang sent me, fifteen or more years ago. Still sealed.
>
> SEALED?
>
> I have NEVER shrink-wrapped anything. Must be one of the old
> "commercial" versions. Is it the green box with Dobbshead that Hal did,
> looks like a detergent box, intentionally,

Yep.

>
> I have a movie of the art gallery show in NYC but man, that one is just
> painful to look at.

That was right next to the other one. Never watched that either. It
was no treat to experience.

>
> I'll never forget you sitting there at that gallery laughing at me and
> Palmer and John Hagen-Brenner while we were signing all those old books
> for a buck apiece and getting cramped up hands. Eh, come to think of
> it, I might well forget it. I should live that long!

I spent the whole time laughing at all of you, but not in a good way, in
a bad bad way. That whole night I spent watching everything from a
distance. Just standing there watching, for hours. It was some fucked
up shit, man. The single WRONGEST subgenius event ever. New York art
opening. Oh my fucking god.

Posted by:: "krustymadfaker"
Date: 24 Mar 2005 21:58:05 -0800

--------
Nenslo unwrapped and wrote:
>>I spent the whole time laughing at all of you, but not in a good way,
in
a bad bad way. That whole night I spent watching >>everything from a
distance. Just standing there watching, for hours. It was some fucked

up shit, man. The single >>WRONGEST subgenius event ever. New York
art
>>opening. Oh my fucking god.

Okay you left us hanging for four hours already. What the hell
happened? You mean "WRONGEST" as in good I bet. Do it again in Oregon!!

Rev-Sci-Fi-entist KrustyMADfaker
"I didn't give up. The equipment
malfunctioned!"

"This is the most uncomfortable coffin I've ever been in."
-Bela Lugosi

Posted by:: "krustymadfaker"
Date: 24 Mar 2005 21:58:06 -0800

Posted by:: "angelicusrex"
Date: Sat, 26 Mar 2005 17:12:52 -0700

--------

I've got "Bob's" first head in cryogenic stasis and the check you sent to
the COS for the video is stuffed in his throat! I retrieved your bank
account numbers and opened an account in the Caman Islands with all your
book sales money! Better check your bank account!

A.R.

Posted by:: "krustymadfaker"
Date: 26 Mar 2005 17:52:13 -0800

--------
angelicusrex wrote:

>I've got "Bob's" first head in cryogenic stasis >and the check you
sent to
the COS for the >video is stuffed in his throat! I retrieved your bank
>account numbers and opened an account in the >Caman Islands with all
your
book sales money! Better check your >bank account!

Next time go for that carbonite freeze instead of the cryogenic. I hear
it's pretty cheap if you contact a cool hip Ugnaught. It helps to have
"Bob's" head defrost with the "carbonite sickness" and he can't see so
well this keeps him mellow and under wraps when you carry him around in
the duffle bag!!

Rev-Sci-Fi-entist KrustyMADfaker
"1980's shit! Pump up the volume!!! Stick Live Aid wrist bands to the
equation! Q-Bert not included!!"

Posted by:: nenslo
Date: Sat, 26 Mar 2005 23:24:26 -0800

--------

some stupid fucking jackass wrote:
>
> >I've got "Bob's" first head in cryogenic stasis >and the check you
> sent to
> the COS for the >video is stuffed in his throat! I retrieved your bank
> >account numbers and opened an account in the >Caman Islands with all
> your
> book sales money! Better check your >bank account!
>

Stang sent me the video for free, you peabrained jerkwad. I didn't even
ask for it or want it or want to see it. He sent it to me FREE because
I am COOLER THAN YOU. So cool that I didn't even watch it. Stang
ADMIRES me and PITIES you. I don't pay him for anything - HE PAYS ME.
You don't even have your OWN first head in crapogenic stupidness or
whatever idiotic crap you said, you fleabrained scumsucking halfassed
sack of jackal crap. I retrieved your KISS MY FUCKING ASS, jackass.
Better check your FUCK YOU.

Posted by:: "angelicusrex"
Date: Sun, 27 Mar 2005 17:07:24 -0700

--------

"nenslo" wrote in message

> Stang sent me the video for free,

Uhm.. Something tells me this guy has never heard of a JOKE...Like I said
previously, Nenslo is quite insane. He seems to think anyone who writes
something which is a joke is in fact being dead serious. And vice versa.

> you peabrained jerkwad.

Wow! I haven't been called that since like, fourth grade!

> I didn't even
> ask for it or want it or want to see it.

So Stang just sends you shit you don't give a shit about as a way to kiss
your flaccid ass? Woopdeefuckingdoo!

> He sent it to me FREE because
> I am COOLER THAN YOU.

My friend, coolness is not a word anyone would ever use to describe you if
they knew you as well as I do. Deranged, Sick, Pitiful, Obscenely aberrant,
Sexually Deviant, yes. these words fit. Cool however is a word you use for
yourself to denote these other conditions a kind of NensloCode.

> So cool that I didn't even watch it.

I wanted to watch it, but Stang sent it to you...And you never opened it! So
send it to me and I'll watch it. I promise then I won't be as "cool" as you
are!

> Stang
> ADMIRES me and PITIES you.

And so your point is?

> I don't pay him for anything - HE PAYS ME.

I see, he's your "bitch" or "punk" as it were? How many cartons of cigareets
do I need to buy a B.J. from him?
By the way, I know he doesn't pay me. He'll be hearing from my lawyers on
that. I'll SEE HIM IN COURT!

> You don't even have your OWN first head in crapogenic stupidness or
> whatever idiotic crap you said, you fleabrained scumsucking halfassed
> sack of jackal crap.

Yeah, uh, whatever dude. I wish I was as cool as someone who can call
someone else "jackal crap!" You dipshit sucking little pile of Cape Hunting
Dog turds!

> I retrieved your KISS MY FUCKING ASS, jackass.
> Better check your FUCK YOU.

My my. aren't we a bitter old hippy!?

Gotcha, smartass.

A.R. SuperSuperbadasspimp!

Posted by:: "nu-monet v7.0"
Date: Thu, 24 Mar 2005 14:40:37 -0700

--------
nenslo wrote:
>
> I was digging through a box of old VHS tapes the
> other day and found the copy of Arise! which Stang
> sent me, fifteen or more years ago. Still sealed.

I have an empty "Billy" Beer can.

--
Be Sure To Visit the 'SubGenius Reverend' Blog:
http://slackoff.blogspot.com/
***********
"YOU BELONG TO US NOW!"
"GET DOWN WITH MY SICKNESS!!"

--Kino Beman, brand name

Posted by:: "Rev. Richard Skull"
Date: 25 Mar 2005 10:50:22 -0800

--------
<>

"We elected the wrong Carter!"

Homer J. Simpson.

Posted by:: John Starrett
Date: Thu, 24 Mar 2005 17:14:31 -0700

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nenslo wrote:
> I was digging through a box of old VHS tapes the other day and found the
> copy of Arise! which Stang sent me, fifteen or more years ago. Still sealed.

OK,... I don't have *any* copy of Arise at all, shrink wrapped, blood
spattered (Nichole's) or otherwise, and it wasn't found under the dead
body of my grandmother who had not been lying there for three days, as I
did not stumble in a cane toad stupor after having sex with an entire
Japanese girl group in polar bear's hot tub, and a bunch of other
*really* wild stuff that did not happen that I will to tell you about.

John Starrett

Posted by:: polar bear
Date: Fri, 25 Mar 2005 01:42:03 -0800

--------
In article , John Starrett
wrote:

> nenslo wrote:
> > I was digging through a box of old VHS tapes the other day and found the
> > copy of Arise! which Stang sent me, fifteen or more years ago. Still
> > sealed.
>
> OK,... I don't have *any* copy of Arise at all, shrink wrapped, blood
> spattered (Nichole's) or otherwise, and it wasn't found under the dead
> body of my grandmother who had not been lying there for three days, as I
> did not stumble in a cane toad stupor after having sex with an entire
> Japanese girl group in polar bear's hot tub, and a bunch of other
> *really* wild stuff that did not happen that I will to tell you about.
>
The sad part is, it really DID happen. Sad for all you guys who aren't
me, that is. Truth be known, anyone that can afford a flight to
Thailand could do the same, so it's really not that big a deal. That
was in the 80's though. I wouldn't recommend it today. Too risky. I
hear Cuba's the place now, although I'm just repeating what I've heard.
I've been married for 18 years, so it isn't much of an issue for me
anymore.

You have to admit though, it beats finding an old copy of Arise.

pb

Posted by:: "Rev Chain Smerker"
Date: Fri, 25 Mar 2005 12:42:17 GMT

--------

"nenslo" wrote in message
news:42431C7D.5B4E7E7E@yahoox.com...
>I was digging through a box of old VHS tapes the other day and found the
> copy of Arise! which Stang sent me, fifteen or more years ago. Still
> sealed.

HA! thats nothing, I just had a great bowel movement.

Posted by:: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
Date: Fri, 25 Mar 2005 10:21:51 -0500

--------
In article , Rev Chain
Smerker wrote:

> "nenslo" wrote in message
> news:42431C7D.5B4E7E7E@yahoox.com...
> >I was digging through a box of old VHS tapes the other day and found the
> > copy of Arise! which Stang sent me, fifteen or more years ago. Still
> > sealed.
>
> HA! thats nothing, I just had a great bowel movement.
>
>

30 points to CS

--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB

Posted by:: nenslo
Date: Fri, 25 Mar 2005 16:49:42 -0800

--------
"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
>
> In article , Rev Chain
> Smerker wrote:
>
> > "nenslo" wrote in message
> > news:42431C7D.5B4E7E7E@yahoox.com...
> > >I was digging through a box of old VHS tapes the other day and found the
> > > copy of Arise! which Stang sent me, fifteen or more years ago. Still
> > > sealed.
> >
> > HA! thats nothing, I just had a great bowel movement.
> >
> >
>
> 30 points to CS
>

It's not about points.

Posted by:: "Rev. Richard Skull"
Date: 25 Mar 2005 10:48:05 -0800

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< the
copy of Arise! which Stang sent me, fifteen or more years ago. Still
sealed. >>

I bet you can trade it for a complete Star Wars Ewoks playset still in
package!

Remember, if you break the seal, its no longer a "collectable"!

Posted by:: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
Date: Sat, 26 Mar 2005 01:41:20 -0500

--------
In article <1111776485.969438.20370@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com>, Rev.
Richard Skull wrote:

> < > the
> copy of Arise! which Stang sent me, fifteen or more years ago. Still
> sealed. >>
>
> I bet you can trade it for a complete Star Wars Ewoks playset still in
> package!
>
> Remember, if you break the seal, its no longer a "collectable"!
>

The funny thing is, Nenslo's name is the VERY LAST ONE on the credits,
and it's spelled "ORTON NESLO."

That's the FUNNY thing.

The rest of the movie isn't funny, just kind of disgruntling because
you're always on the verge of remembering where each clip was
originally from.

Currently there's a fine high-res mpeg of ARISE! on our new newsgroup
-- the last credit roll on that version tells you to send your money to
Austin, Texas. So I guess it's a collectable download.

--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB