Resurrection
Posted by:: "iDRMRSR"
Date: Fri, 25 Mar 2005 19:20:47 -0500
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The more I think about it, the better the current way of things is. If
people could come back after death on a routine basis, that would create a
whole lot of complications. Not that there aren't a LOT of dearly departed
that I would like to see again someday, no, this is on a whole practical
level.
Imagine one or more of your parents coming back to life. Geez, in the first
place, would they have old bodies like the ones that they left behind? And
would they be totally cured of whatever got to them? Or would they just be
back to die of the same thing again?
And this would totally mess up Probate Court. I imagine the first thing the
resurrected would want is...Where's MY MONEY? And then...WHERE'S ALL MY
STUFF? You'd have a lot of 'splaining to do if ever any of the dead came
back demanding their earthly possessions.
The resurrected would need a place to sleep, clothes, food, and so on, right
away. This would be kind of like a BIRTH, only totally unplanned and
unwarned. The resurrected would need to get jobs pretty fast, too. Imagine
how that would look on your resume, though. Born on such and such a date,
died on another date, and then resurrected again for period uncertain. Who
the hell would hire one, I wonder?
Then you'd be stuck with the inevitable "coming back party" bill. You'd
have thunk it all ended when you paid that funeral bill. But no, you and
the reanimated's loved ones would probably have to put on some kind of bash.
I'm sure some new traditions would be called for, like publishing
resurrection notices right next to the obituaries.
That would put you kind of tight financially. I also presume the insurance
company would want their money back in full, with interest. We've already
gone over the property dilemma, so that just makes things worse. And
there's no telling what other changes would be required if you have moved on
with your life and now suddenly have to toss out replacement spouses and
step parents to make room for the reanime.
It's also a convenient fantasy that the one resurrection everybody can name
happened so shortly after death. The complications would be even further
convoluted if there was a LONG period between your death and resurrection.
Even a few years. Maybe when you came back, the people you expected to see
would have already died. Then like, what's the point?
Or if it's like 100 years or something, then you'd have to be re-educated.
Imagine having to tell your resurrected great grandmother about phones and
microwave ovens and all that.
I think probably the worst scenario was if there were mass resurrections in
WAVES. I mean, like two or three million souls coming back the same day.
All wondering where their now antique household goods and trinkets went to,
why someone married a person like THAT after the spouse died, and why the
whole time you never went to a medium to communicate with Mom while she was
dead.
Even worse than that, if resurrection was the way of things in general,
you'd have to DIE and DIE AGAIN!
That would totally suck even more than the current system.
[*]
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Posted by:: HellPope Huey
Date: Sat, 26 Mar 2005 03:46:30 GMT
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In article ,
"iDRMRSR" wrote:
> The more I think about it, the better the current way of things is. If
> people could come back after death on a routine basis, that would create a
> whole lot of complications. Not that there aren't a LOT of dearly departed
> that I would like to see again someday, no, this is on a whole practical
> level.
> > Imagine one or more of your parents coming back to life. Geez, in the first
> place, would they have old bodies like the ones that they left behind? And
> would they be totally cured of whatever got to them? Or would they just be
> back to die of the same thing again?
> > And this would totally mess up Probate Court. I imagine the first thing the
> resurrected would want is...Where's MY MONEY? And then...WHERE'S ALL MY
> STUFF? You'd have a lot of 'splaining to do if ever any of the dead came
> back demanding their earthly possessions.
> > The resurrected would need a place to sleep, clothes, food, and so on, right
> away. This would be kind of like a BIRTH, only totally unplanned and
> unwarned. The resurrected would need to get jobs pretty fast, too. Imagine
> how that would look on your resume, though. Born on such and such a date,
> died on another date, and then resurrected again for period uncertain. Who
> the hell would hire one, I wonder?
> ..........................
> Even worse than that, if resurrection was the way of things in general,
> you'd have to DIE and DIE AGAIN!
> > That would totally suck even more than the current system.
Now that you are retired, you just sit in that space chair, watching
DVDs and licking D cells all day long, don't you? Zzzt! Zzzt! Zzzt!
--
HellPope Huey
A SubGenius tarot deck
would just be a big fistful of jokers.
Forum follows dysfunction.
Just because you throw pearls before swine
doesn't mean you aren't a pig yourself.
- Saint Nu-Monet
I am done with seriousness for the day.
Back to feces, disfiguration and the Flintstones.
- Rev. kdetal
Posted by:: "iDRMRSR"
Date: Fri, 25 Mar 2005 23:55:14 -0500
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>> Now that you are retired, you just sit in that space chair, watching
DVDs and licking D cells all day long, don't you? Zzzt! Zzzt! Zzzt!
OK, you got the DVD part right. But some of those new fangled Lithium
camera batteries pack 18 volts. I don't fuck around with mere D cells...
[*]
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Posted by:: "krustymadfaker"
Date: 25 Mar 2005 21:40:21 -0800
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iDRMRSR wrote with lightning camera pack:
>>OK, you got the DVD part right. But some of those new fangled
>>Lithium
camera batteries pack 18 volts. I don't fuck around with mere D
>>cells...
Stop!! This might lead to the Pope Johnny of the Catholic Roman Clench
to trade his wheel chair with Harry Flint for his gold one!! Plus all
the Masonic Disney Burger characters etched into the 5000 lbs
horsepower emergency break!!
Rev-Sci-Fi-entist KrustyMADfaker
"I didn't give up. The equipment
malfunctioned!"
"This is the most uncomfortable coffin I've ever been in."
-Bela Lugosi
Posted by:: "Giles"
Date: 25 Mar 2005 21:48:44 -0800
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iDRMRSR wrote:
> >> Now that you are retired, you just sit in that space chair,
watching
> DVDs and licking D cells all day long, don't you? Zzzt! Zzzt! Zzzt!
>
> OK, you got the DVD part right. But some of those new fangled
Lithium
> camera batteries pack 18 volts. I don't fuck around with mere D
cells...
>
> [*]
> -----
For added zest try an ignition coil:
http://www.geocities.com/CapeCanaveral/Lab/5322/coildrv.htm
"You can even build a miniature Tesla coil from this. If the ignition
coil only gives a thin and threadlike sparks at first then adjust the
potentiometers for a thick, firery orange arc. If you still cannot get
a decent arc, make sure your power supply has a high enough current
capability, or just use a car/motorcycle battery."
Posted by:: Artemia Salina
Date: Sat, 26 Mar 2005 01:05:49 -0500
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On Fri, 25 Mar 2005 23:55:14 -0500, iDRMRSR wrote:
>>> Now that you are retired, you just sit in that space chair, watching
> DVDs and licking D cells all day long, don't you? Zzzt! Zzzt! Zzzt!
>
> OK, you got the DVD part right. But some of those new fangled Lithium
> camera batteries pack 18 volts. I don't fuck around with mere D cells...
That's right; suck on um like cough drops. Guaranteed to cure cotton-mouth.
--
0:-) 0:-) 0:-) 0:-) (-:0 (-:0 (-:0 (-:0
0:-) Artemia Salina (-:0
0:-) Surrounded by Angels (-:0
0:-) 0:-) 0:-) 0:-) (-:0 (-:0 (-:0 (-:0
Posted by:: HellPope Huey
Date: Sat, 26 Mar 2005 18:30:24 GMT
--------
In article ,
Artemia Salina wrote:
> On Fri, 25 Mar 2005 23:55:14 -0500, iDRMRSR wrote:
>
> >>> Now that you are retired, you just sit in that space chair, watching
> > DVDs and licking D cells all day long, don't you? Zzzt! Zzzt! Zzzt!
> >
> > OK, you got the DVD part right. But some of those new fangled Lithium
> > camera batteries pack 18 volts. I don't fuck around with mere D cells...
>
> That's right; suck on um like cough drops. Guaranteed to cure cotton-mouth.
Put little tinfoil balls in your fillings and then practice your
diction. Maybe that will perk you up.
--
HellPope Huey
White people doing flamenco
look like cranes on crank
Take your dissonance like a man.
- Charles Ives
"C'mon, wake up and smell the chaos!"
- "The West Wing"
Posted by:: "Giles"
Date: 25 Mar 2005 20:47:44 -0800
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iDRMRSR wrote:
>
> And this would totally mess up Probate Court. I imagine the first
thing the
> resurrected would want is...Where's MY MONEY? And then...WHERE'S ALL
MY
> STUFF? You'd have a lot of 'splaining to do if ever any of the dead
came
> back demanding their earthly possessions.
Oh, man! I had to settle the estate of my aunt. For months afterwards I
kept dreaming that the hospital had made a mistake, she wasn't dead,
and she wanted to know where her stuff was.