Now I smell like Detroit
Posted by:: "iDRMRSR"
Date: Mon, 21 Mar 2005 21:02:19 -0500
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Just returned to the Condo of Solitude after a jolly Devival and weekend
exploring Detroit. Now that I'm retired (tm)...I can mosey up there in no
particular hurry, and even stay an extra day to recover.
I actually got most of my hearing back today, Monday. That was one of the
loudest, and I think one of the most well attended, Devivals I've
experienced since I joined this crazy chirch. Perhaps also, one of the
longest. I think each band was supposed to play a 30 minute set...but I
swear one of them took two or three hours (so it seems) to get through it.
Then at long last, the Amino Acids came out to blow the remaining few
windows out of the remaining few buildings around the Majic Stique.
I think prolly the best new band was maybe Wooolfe Baaite or however they
spelled it. Then maybe the LSDUDES simply on the strength of their ability
to channel Devo. I also gotta say, the Majique Stikke there has the most
impressive BASS of any sound system. I can still feel my tits shaking and
my epididymuses are all tightened from all the scrotal jiggling caused by
the thump-thump-thump.
Stang sandwiched himself in between two of the bands and started unleashing
one of the FIRIEST rants of all times, but unfortunately the evil Cleveland
cold virus caused him to flame out. What was that line from Bladerunner
about burning bright but brief? I do think the crowd was simply SOAKING up
the Swag, too. I heard at least 3 membership packs were sold that night.
Bravo!
I managed to find a nice budget joint to stay in Taylor, Michigan, one of
those lesser chain motels. The damn room was so air tight, that when I
opened up the door, the popups in the drains in the bathroom popped up. I
found that to be actually quite entertaining.
The weather was totally shitty. I guess that crackwhore mother Nature
hasn't figured out that it's MARCH and not JANUARY just yet. Why, the last
Detroit Devival was in November 2003, and the weather was EXACTLY THE SAME.
Four months delta and still gray and cold, when will it end. But, you don't
go to a Devival for the weather. One takes these things as they are
offered. Come to think of it, there's another BIG CHURCH that seems to get
ALL THE GOOD BOOKING DATES, year round.
Sunday, I slept until almost noon and got up just in time to make breakfast
at the Denny's in the parking lot. Why is it shitty places like that have
40 minute waits for a table, anyhow??? I was trying to claim a medical
emergency that required COFFEE and EGGS to remedy, but I only managed to
nudge up a couple table's worth of wait.
I then went to this Gibraltar's Trade Center which was kind of next door.
Think WalMart turned into a flea market. If you run short of velvet
paintings, throwing stars, and motorcycle emblemed garments, this is the
place for you. I think it's an undercover operation for "Bob", though,
because it's the first flea market I ever been at which charged $2
ADMISSION!
Desperate to experience something a little more upscale, I noted on the map
that I wasn't far from Henry Ford's estate and Greenfield village. Most
Clevelanders my age will remember going to Greenfield Village by bus, back
in the elementary school daze of the late 1950's. Bob damned place was
CLOSED, so I never got to play nostalgia games with myself to see if I could
remember any of it from 48 years ago.
Then I took a drive up to Grosse Point, where the rich people (or maybe that
was ONCE rich) live. I decided to take a demi-circle tour of Lake St.
Clair, in honor of Stang as well as in honor of the fact that I had not
personally glimpsed this least of the Great Lakes before. I got up almost
as far as Port Huron, when it started to snow a bit(!), so I hitailed back
to Taylor and found a nice Polish place for dinner. MMMMmmmmm. Stuffed
cabbage and pierogis on a cold day.
Today I drove in to Windsor, Ontario, for my Canadian Gourmet Shopping
experience. They have some STUFF in Canada that never makes it across to
our shores. Canadian Cheez Whiz, for example. Our stuff tastes like
LIBRARY PASTE by comparison with what the Canucks sell. Oh yeah, the Queen
of all Bacons...pea meal bacon. Up there, they roll the finest ham in
powdered yellow pea meal, and slice it extra thin, like as if you could read
the newspaper through it.
Once yer hooked on pea meal bacon, yer hooked. Oh, and once again, I had to
tell the damn Customs Nazi exactly why I drove all the way from Cleveland
just to spend an hour in Windsor. And you know, the guy NEVER heard of the
Amino Acids, but something else about my demeanor must have convinced him
that I was straight.
He actually asked me point blank, did I say I drove ALL the way up to
Windsor just to have lunch?
I figured I should have told him "Hey, I'm RETIRED!". What else do I have
to do with myself (thwap thwap thwap)...
[*]
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Posted by:: "krustymadfaker"
Date: 21 Mar 2005 18:33:42 -0800
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>iDRMRSR wrote with retirement stationary:
>He actually asked me point blank, did I say I drove ALL the way up to
>Windsor just to have lunch?
>I figured I should have told him "Hey, >I'm RETIRED!". What else do I
have
to do with myself (thwap thwap >thwap)...
He noticed you had Dr. Detroit's arm hanging from the back of your
trunk and Steve Martin was no where to be seen.
Rev-Sci-Fi-entist KrustyMADfaker
"I didn't give up. The equipment
malfunctioned!"
"This is the most uncomfortable coffin I've ever been in."
-Bela Lugosi
Posted by:: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
Date: Tue, 22 Mar 2005 08:54:15 -0500
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In article , iDRMRSR
wrote:
> Just returned to the Condo of Solitude after a jolly Devival and weekend
> exploring Detroit. Now that I'm retired (tm)...I can mosey up there in no
> particular hurry, and even stay an extra day to recover.
>
> I actually got most of my hearing back today, Monday. That was one of the
> loudest, and I think one of the most well attended, Devivals I've
> experienced since I joined this crazy chirch. Perhaps also, one of the
> longest. I think each band was supposed to play a 30 minute set...but I
> swear one of them took two or three hours (so it seems) to get through it.
> Then at long last, the Amino Acids came out to blow the remaining few
> windows out of the remaining few buildings around the Majic Stique.
Yes, four of the 5 bands went a little longer than planned, which is
why we didn't do the Mass ShorDurMarriage and why me and the Aminos
both cut our sets short.
They were ALL kick-ass bands, though, weren't they! I've been gathering
downloads of their various mp3s, and last night Wei and I STARTED
watching the LSDudes' video... which turns out to be a PACKED VCD with
numerous truly marveleous sections to it!
>
> I think prolly the best new band was maybe Wooolfe Baaite or however they
> spelled it. Then maybe the LSDUDES simply on the strength of their ability
> to channel Devo. I also gotta say, the Majique Stikke there has the most
> impressive BASS of any sound system. I can still feel my tits shaking and
> my epididymuses are all tightened from all the scrotal jiggling caused by
> the thump-thump-thump.
Are you sure you're not thinking of Stylex channelling DEVO? Actually
both Stylex and the LSDudes had DEVOish elements but I thought Stylex
was like... well it was like DEVO's first album -- or rather the demo
tapes from before their first album.
In other words, FUCKING GREAT!!!
I shot the LSDudes' video projections off the screen some of the time,
dunno how that looks yet. I shot Stylex's last killer song "Wake Up! Go
to Work!" up close to the stage hand-held and followed the crazy
singeraround the club, that should be visually dynamic. Too bad the
sound is all going into a little DV cam mike. External microphone
donations will be accepted.
>
> Stang sandwiched himself in between two of the bands and started unleashing
> one of the FIRIEST rants of all times, but unfortunately the evil Cleveland
> cold virus caused him to flame out. What was that line from Bladerunner
> about burning bright but brief?
You'll hear that line about 10 times each on a Sco Ausslander mix on
Hours of Slack 985 and 986! "The candle that burns twice as bright
burns half as long, and you have burned oh so brightly, Roy."
Wei says the video cam clocked me at 18 minutes which is about what I
was SUPPOSED to do.
All I remember from that rant was being surprised to hear these words
come from my mouth: "THE CONSPIRACY IS SHITTING INTO YOUR BRAIN-HOLE!"
>I do think the crowd was simply SOAKING up
> the Swag, too. I heard at least 3 membership packs were sold that night.
> Bravo!
No, SEVEN! Welcome to Rev. Nichole, the only one whose name I remember
-- the Beautant sitting sorta behind where you and Joy were. Notice I
remember the names of the cute gals.
The Espira SkullDobbs shirts are ALL GONE FOREVER and there are very
few black Dobbshead shirts left now.
>
> I managed to find a nice budget joint to stay in Taylor, Michigan, one of
> those lesser chain motels. The damn room was so air tight, that when I
> opened up the door, the popups in the drains in the bathroom popped up. I
> found that to be actually quite entertaining.
After the show we forewent any kind of partying and just followed Rev.
and Mrs. Angry Larry to their house to crash. We slept till 12:30 and
hung around yakking and filming their museum-home until 5 pm or so.
>
> Once yer hooked on pea meal bacon, yer hooked. Oh, and once again, I had to
> tell the damn Customs Nazi exactly why I drove all the way from Cleveland
> just to spend an hour in Windsor. And you know, the guy NEVER heard of the
> Amino Acids, but something else about my demeanor must have convinced him
> that I was straight.
You look a lot more like a kidnapper or sadistic torturer than a dope
smuggler. But then that's EXACTLY how the successful dope smugglers get
away with it! The law isn't looking for mad killers, they're looking
for POT SMOKERS to lock up.
Ya know, the funny thing, at Customs they always wave me and Wei
through, and then strip-search the square looking businessmen and
little old ladies behind us.
>
> He actually asked me point blank, did I say I drove ALL the way up to
> Windsor just to have lunch?
>
> I figured I should have told him "Hey, I'm RETIRED!". What else do I have
> to do with myself (thwap thwap thwap)...
I have some more movies for you! One of them has Kathy Bates nude in it!
--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB
Posted by:: "Doktor Dark"
Date: 22 Mar 2005 12:30:37 -0800
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iDRMRSR wrote:
> I decided to take a demi-circle tour of Lake St.
> Clair, in honor of Stang as well as in honor of the fact that I had
not
> personally glimpsed this least of the Great Lakes before.
Tsk, tsk. Watch out. Mr. Polar Bear will lecture you that Lake St.
Clair is not one of the Great Lakes, with great glee. I was taught
different, wbut hat what do I know? I only grew up there. Glad you
enjoyed the Trade Center. I worked there when it first opened up as a
furniture store, which folded after I left. Had I known, I'd have taken
some of the furniture with me.
Posted by:: "Rev. Richard Skull"
Date: 23 Mar 2005 15:05:04 -0800
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<
Clair is not one of the Great Lakes, with great glee. I was taught
different, wbut hat what do I know? I only grew up there. Glad you
enjoyed the Trade Center. I worked there when it first opened up as a
furniture store, which folded after I left. Had I known, I'd have taken
some of the furniture with me. >>
We drive past Gilbralta on the way to see my Brother.
If he drove up to Port Huron, and around St. Clair, then he probally
drove by his apartment.
All I can say that Detroit has teh shittest offerings for non-drinking
persons of any large city I've ever been too.
even Richmond, Va (Pink-town USA) has something other then dark dank
bars, ice fishing, and dark dank bars to offer as "attractions"
Of course the Prime visiting time in Detroit is during Holloween when
you can watch all the hell Night festivaties.
Or around the spring thaw when the drunk-assed Ice fishermen fall
through the rapidly melting ice and have to be rescued by the Coast
Guard.
Posted by:: "Saerah"
Date: Thu, 24 Mar 2005 21:13:02 -0500
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Rev. Richard Skull wrote in message
<1111619104.090066.256290@g14g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>...
><
>Clair is not one of the Great Lakes, with great glee. I was taught
>different, wbut hat what do I know? I only grew up there. Glad you
>enjoyed the Trade Center. I worked there when it first opened up as a
>furniture store, which folded after I left. Had I known, I'd have taken
>
>some of the furniture with me. >>
>
>We drive past Gilbralta on the way to see my Brother.
>
>If he drove up to Port Huron, and around St. Clair, then he probally
>drove by his apartment.
>
>All I can say that Detroit has teh shittest offerings for non-drinking
>persons of any large city I've ever been too.
>
>even Richmond, Va (Pink-town USA) has something other then dark dank
>bars, ice fishing, and dark dank bars to offer as "attractions"
>
hey, what about the huge fist on jefferson? :)
and greek coneys?
--
saerah
"If organized religion is the opium of the masses, then disorganized
religion is the marijuana of the lunatic fringe."
-Kerry Thornley
>Of course the Prime visiting time in Detroit is during Holloween when
>you can watch all the hell Night festivaties.
>
>Or around the spring thaw when the drunk-assed Ice fishermen fall
>through the rapidly melting ice and have to be rescued by the Coast
>Guard.
>