MY crazy is worse than YOUR crazy
Posted by:: HellPope Huey
Date: Wed, 23 Mar 2005 00:25:36 GMT
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http://makethemaccountable.com/podvin/more/050322_AmericaRules.htm
AMERICA RULES!
By David Podvin
The World Health Organization has released a study
that verifies the United States is the undisputed
champion in mental illness*, dominating various
pathologies ranging from anxiety to depression to poor
impulse control. We easily vanquished underachieving
Old Europe in post-traumatic stress syndrome, bipolar
disorder, and bulimia nervosa. Additionally, our
magnificent land trounced the supposedly productive
Asian countries in both senility and agoraphobia,
while coasting past Africa in pediatric hyperactivity.
In fact, there would have been a gold medal sweep for
America if Ukraine had not cheated by submitting
doctored urine to edge us out in substance abuse.
In retaliation for Ukrainian treachery, Chicken Kiev
will henceforth be known by every patriotic American
as Chicken Freedom.
Distributing praise for Americas smashing victory
requires giving the devil his due. Although liberals
abhor complimenting the right wing, it is undeniable
that without conservatives the United States would not
even be one of the hundred craziest countries. This is
especially true as it relates to the glamour
categories of paranoia and psychosis.
Any nation that aspires to lead the world in mental
illness requires a leader who is unabashedly mentally
ill, and in this area America is truly blessed. Rather
than educating himself on major issues of life and
death by studying, George W. Bush faithfully listens
to the voices in his head that have been keenly honed
during a lifetime of not studying. Bush takes this
approach based on his deeply held belief that only by
remaining abjectly ignorant of all relevant facts can
he possibly make a fully informed decision. His
commitment to prioritizing fantasy over reality is
strong and unyielding. The former Texas governor is a
one-man psycho ward, and absent his sterling
contribution the United States could never have
achieved derangement preeminence.
....................
America is going to remain the alpha crazy dog for
quite some time, so all of you lousy little sane
nations had better get used to it. Hopefully, you will
not become offended when we get in your faces to rave
like lunatics about our W.H.O.-documented supremacy,
and you wont be offended as long as you remember just
one thing:
Its not bragging if its true.
--
HellPope Huey
A beautiful mind, but a rotted-out brain
"EVERYTHING IS HORSES**T..... except for Jesus!"
- a wino encountered in the French Quarter
Edmund: What is it?
Percy [reverently]: A bone from the finger of our Lord.
It cost me thirty-one pieces of silver.
Edmund: Good Lord. Is it real?
Percy: It is, my lord. You stand amazed, Baldrick.
Baldrick: I am. I thought they only came in boxes of ten.
~ dialogue, "The Archbishop", BlackAdder.
Posted by:: nenslo
Date: Tue, 22 Mar 2005 21:32:34 -0800
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Your crazy is the kind of crazy they have on Coors billboards. That's
not even as crazy as the singing lady and the one who just sits and
rocks who appear in every old Insane Asylum movie.
Posted by:: "Rev. Richard Skull"
Date: 23 Mar 2005 15:09:42 -0800
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Yea, just look at the people they elect to "represent" themselves in
Congress!