Hippie Chicks and Disposals
Posted by:: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
Date: Thu, 17 Mar 2005 20:42:31 -0500
--------
They don't understand them at all, and when one is jammed, you can
scare the living beejesus out of them by sticking your hand down there
to check it out. They are afraid that if you succeed in unjamming it
while your hand is down there, something like freak stored energy from
the dilithium crystals will cause it to suddenly switch on, first
grinding your hand savagely and then sucking your whole arm down the
hole, maybe eventually your entire body if it can't be turned off.
I was REALLY NICE this time NOT to pull my usual trick of saying, "Oh,
look, there's no danger, why I can just stick my hand down here and -
AIIIIIEEEE!"
In this case it was a clog in the drain, not a jammed grinder, caused
by cramming too much crap down there at once. I unscrewed the PVC drain
tube from the drain hole, which should not have been so easy to do, the
former owner installed it so half-assedly, and a ton of grotty water
and cruff clumped out into a catch-basin I had put there in a fit of
prescience. Now it works fine again.
TAH DAH!
Rev. Ivan Stang, Proud Official Plumber of The Church of the SubGenius
Cleveland Diosces Administration Building and Manly Tool Wielder
P.S. We saw Tim Burton's "Big Fish" last night. Maybe he can live down
Planet of the Apes. The Albert Finney character in that is so much like
my dad it's scary.
--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB
Posted by:: "«BONEHEAD>>"
Date: Fri, 18 Mar 2005 02:37:32 GMT
--------
"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote in message
news:170320052042312966%stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com...
> They don't understand them at all, and when one is jammed, you can
> scare the living beejesus out of them by sticking your hand down there
> to check it out. They are afraid that if you succeed in unjamming it
> while your hand is down there, something like freak stored energy from
> the dilithium crystals will cause it to suddenly switch on, first
> grinding your hand savagely and then sucking your whole arm down the
> hole, maybe eventually your entire body if it can't be turned off.
>
> I was REALLY NICE this time NOT to pull my usual trick of saying, "Oh,
> look, there's no danger, why I can just stick my hand down here and -
> AIIIIIEEEE!"
>
> In this case it was a clog in the drain, not a jammed grinder, caused
> by cramming too much crap down there at once. I unscrewed the PVC drain
> tube from the drain hole, which should not have been so easy to do, the
> former owner installed it so half-assedly, and a ton of grotty water
> and cruff clumped out into a catch-basin I had put there in a fit of
> prescience. Now it works fine again.
>
> TAH DAH!
>
> Rev. Ivan Stang, Proud Official Plumber of The Church of the SubGenius
> Cleveland Diosces Administration Building and Manly Tool Wielder
>
Next you'll be expecting union wages... Go on strike now to get in
practice...
--
"I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious." Albert Einstein
Posted by:: nenslo
Date: Thu, 17 Mar 2005 18:58:04 -0800
--------
I find that a bucket with a lid on it under the sink and a compost heap
in the back yard make a perfectly adequate substitute.
I had to install a new toilet pipe flange last week. The one that
attaches the toilet itself to the pipe that goes through the floor.
Only two things make Mrs. N happier than a working toilet. Food, and
asking her if she wants to hear some gossip.
Posted by:: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
Date: Fri, 18 Mar 2005 09:05:20 -0500
--------
In article <423A43BB.F688CD8B@yahoox.com>, nenslo
wrote:
> I find that a bucket with a lid on it under the sink and a compost heap
> in the back yard make a perfectly adequate substitute.
If you buy a house that already has one of these things installed, your
sink won't drain unless the THING does.
Hey, let's face it, sometimes a feller just has a little trouble
draining his thing. Happens to everybody sooner or later.
> I had to install a new toilet pipe flange last week. The one that
> attaches the toilet itself to the pipe that goes through the floor.
I have to do that very thing to the basement toilet! I've been putting
it off for over a year now.
We lock the door to the baement when Philo is here.
> Only two things make Mrs. N happier than a working toilet. Food, and
> asking her if she wants to hear some gossip.
Did you know there's a hand-drawn portrait of you on a.b.slack by
Artemia Salina? It's not bad! I have no idea if he got your hair right.
Last time I saw you your hair was the way mine is now. Sweet.
--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB
Posted by:: "Rev. Richard Skull"
Date: 18 Mar 2005 14:08:13 -0800
--------
>>Hey, let's face it, sometimes a feller just has a little trouble
draining his thing. Happens to everybody sooner or later. <<
Just aprt of getting old. That and the getting old part.
Posted by:: brthrn@dangermedia.org
Date: 18 Mar 2005 14:19:26 -0800
--------
Oh. So you were a goddamn dumbass idiot from birth then, eh?
Posted by:: nenslo
Date: Fri, 18 Mar 2005 15:24:48 -0800
--------
"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
>
> In article <423A43BB.F688CD8B@yahoox.com>, nenslo
> wrote:
>
> > I find that a bucket with a lid on it under the sink and a compost heap
> > in the back yard make a perfectly adequate substitute.
>
> If you buy a house that already has one of these things installed, your
> sink won't drain unless the THING does.
HAW HAW I MEANT FOR A HIPPIE CHICK.
>
> Did you know there's a hand-drawn portrait of you on a.b.slack by
> Artemia Salina? It's not bad! I have no idea if he got your hair right.
No I didn't know that. My computer is now so brain damaged that my
browser freezes up on any website which has a picture or two. I don't
see much web any more.
> Last time I saw you your hair was the way mine is now. Sweet.
My hair has never been the way yours is. Never. I have never had a
mullet in my life. I am an intellectual subgenius, not a poebucker
subgenius. My hair is just as long in the front as it is in the back.
The only period of my life in which that was not true was during the
years I wore it in a DA. I was SHARP too.
Posted by:: Pope Phil
Date: Fri, 18 Mar 2005 15:37:03 +0000 (UTC)
--------
another day. another insight into... THE WORLD OF NENSLO
nenslo wrote:
> I find that a bucket with a lid on it under the sink and a compost heap
> in the back yard make a perfectly adequate substitute.
>
>
> I had to install a new toilet pipe flange last week. The one that
> attaches the toilet itself to the pipe that goes through the floor.
> Only two things make Mrs. N happier than a working toilet. Food, and
> asking her if she wants to hear some gossip.
Posted by:: Zapanaz
Date: Fri, 18 Mar 2005 08:35:21 -0800
--------
On Fri, 18 Mar 2005 15:37:03 +0000 (UTC), Pope Phil
wrote:
>another day. another insight into... THE WORLD OF NENSLO
>
Here at Mutual of Omaha's Wild Nenslo, tonight we are going to watch
Jim Fowler feed a live crocodile to Nenslo
>nenslo wrote:
>> I find that a bucket with a lid on it under the sink and a compost heap
>> in the back yard make a perfectly adequate substitute.
>>
>>
>> I had to install a new toilet pipe flange last week. The one that
>> attaches the toilet itself to the pipe that goes through the floor.
>> Only two things make Mrs. N happier than a working toilet. Food, and
>> asking her if she wants to hear some gossip.
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
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Posted by:: Zapanaz
Date: Thu, 17 Mar 2005 19:10:57 -0800
--------
On Thu, 17 Mar 2005 20:42:31 -0500, "Rev. Ivan Stang"
wrote:
>They don't understand them at all, and when one is jammed, you can
>scare the living beejesus out of them by sticking your hand down there
>to check it out. They are afraid that if you succeed in unjamming it
>while your hand is down there, something like freak stored energy from
>the dilithium crystals will cause it to suddenly switch on, first
>grinding your hand savagely and then sucking your whole arm down the
>hole, maybe eventually your entire body if it can't be turned off.
>
>I was REALLY NICE this time NOT to pull my usual trick of saying, "Oh,
>look, there's no danger, why I can just stick my hand down here and -
>AIIIIIEEEE!"
>
>In this case it was a clog in the drain, not a jammed grinder, caused
>by cramming too much crap down there at once. I unscrewed the PVC drain
>tube from the drain hole, which should not have been so easy to do, the
>former owner installed it so half-assedly, and a ton of grotty water
>and cruff clumped out into a catch-basin I had put there in a fit of
>prescience. Now it works fine again.
>
>TAH DAH!
>
>Rev. Ivan Stang, Proud Official Plumber of The Church of the SubGenius
>Cleveland Diosces Administration Building and Manly Tool Wielder
>
>P.S. We saw Tim Burton's "Big Fish" last night. Maybe he can live down
>Planet of the Apes. The Albert Finney character in that is so much like
>my dad it's scary.
you're a big hairy leprechaun. It's so obvious now. Somebody should
warn the hippy chicks about you.
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
The Lesser Key of Solomon crashes my print demon.
Posted by:: Baldin Pramer
Date: Thu, 17 Mar 2005 20:47:47 -0700
--------
Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
> We saw Tim Burton's "Big Fish" last night. Maybe he can live down
> Planet of the Apes. The Albert Finney character in that is so much like
> my dad it's scary.
Great movie. Huh. Didn't know you had a dad. Learn something new every day.
--
Sir Baldin Pramer, R.P.A.
Posted by:: "Rev. Richard Skull"
Date: 18 Mar 2005 14:06:34 -0800
--------
<
SubGenius
Cleveland Diosces Administration Building and Manly Tool Wielder >>
Your NOT a official Plumber until you have your Union Approved Butt
crack!
Posted by:: HellPope Huey
Date: Sat, 19 Mar 2005 01:28:50 GMT
--------
In article <1111183594.974443.48050@l41g2000cwc.googlegroups.com>,
"Rev. Richard Skull" wrote:
> <
> SubGenius
> Cleveland Diosces Administration Building and Manly Tool Wielder >>
>
> Your NOT a official Plumber until you have your Union Approved Butt
> crack!
He's had his butt IN a crack a lot. Will that do?
--
HellPope Huey
The Holy Trinity:
Meds, chili dogs and boobs
"Read the Bible;
s**t starts goin' downhill about page 3."
- Dwayne Kennedy
"There should be just 3 levels of security:
"Jesus Christ!"
"Goddamnit!"
"Fuck ME!"
- Lewis Black
Posted by:: carl_miller23@hotmail.com (Lamus)
Date: Fri, 18 Mar 2005 22:55:37 -0600
--------
On March 17 2005, "Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
> We saw Tim Burton's "Big Fish" last night. Maybe he can live down
> Planet of the Apes. The Albert Finney character in that is so much
> like my dad it's scary.
I saw Big Fish not too long ago as well. My dad passed away a couple
years ago, and I had no idea Big Fish was going to be about what it was
about. It was almost more than I could stand.