Chimps Chew Man's Face Off
Posted by:: König Prüße, GfbAEV
Date: Fri, 04 Mar 2005 12:50:00 GMT
--------
Chimps escape, attack visitors at animal sanctuary in Calif.
- By KIM CURTIS, Associated Press Writer
Friday, March 4, 2005
(03-04) 01:17 PST Bakersfield, Calif. (AP) --
A couple's visit to the chimpanzee they were forced to
relinquish to an animal sanctuary turned tragic when two
other chimps attacked the husband, critically wounded
him before the animals were shot to death in mid-assault.
The son-in-law of the sanctuary's owner killed the animals
that left St. James Davis, 62, in critical condition with massive
injuries to his face, body and limbs, said Steve Martarano,
a spokesman for the California Department of Fish and Game.
"He saw what was happening and had one kind of weapon
with him and then got another he felt would be more substantial
and shot them," Martarano said. "He pretty much saved a life."
Davis' wife, LaDonna Davis, 64, suffered a bite wound to the
hand while attempting to help her husband, Martarano said.
The Davises were at the Animal Haven Ranch to celebrate
the birthday of Moe, a 39-year-old chimpanzee who was taken
from their suburban Los Angeles home in 1999 after biting off
part of a woman's finger.
The couple had brought Moe a cake and were standing
outside his cage when Buddy and Ollie, two of the four
chimpanzees in the adjoining cage, attacked St. James Davis,
Martarano said. Officials do not yet know how the chimps got
out of their enclosure, he said.
Moe was not involved in Thursday's attack, Martarano said.
Dr. Maureen Martin, of Kern Medical Center, told KGET-TV
of Bakersfield that the monkeys chewed most of Davis' face
off and that he would require extensive surgery in an attempt to
reattach his nose.
Davis was transported to Loma Linda University Medical
Center, where he was undergoing surgery late Thursday night,
according to Martarano.
Kern County Sheriff's Cmdr. Hal Chealander told The
Bakersfield Californian that besides the damage to his
face, Davis had his testicles and foot mauled off. Buddy,
a 16-year-old male chimp, initiated the attack and after
he was shot, Ollie, a 13-year-old male, grabbed the
gravely injured man and dragged him down the road,
according to Chealander.
"Everybody was trying to get the chimp off," Chealander said.
Two other chimps, females named Susie and Bones,
also escaped from the cage they shared with Ollie and Buddy,
prompting sheriff's deputies, animal control workers, and Fish
and Game officials to launch a search.
The wayward pair were eventually recovered peacefully
by Animal Haven owner Virginia Brauer after five hours.
Martarano said one chimp was two miles from the sanctuary.
The Davises had waged an unsuccessful legal fight to bring
Moe back to their West Covina home and visited him regularly
at the sanctuary where he had been living since October.
They brought the chimp from Africa decades ago after
a poacher killed his mother.
Animal Haven Ranch has held state permits to shelter animals
since 1985 and serves as a sanctuary for animals that have been
confiscated or discovered lost, Martarano said.
It is allowed to house up to nine primates at one time and is home
to one spider monkey and six chimpanzees, he said. The permits are
held by Ralph and Virginia Brauer, who could not be reached immediately
for comment.
Neighbors described them as devoted and responsible animal lovers.
"Nobody ever complains about these people," neighbor Debbie Hay
told The Bakersfield Californian. "I think they tried to do a good thing."
Jeanne Miller, a family friend, said the Brauers cared for animals with their
own money and the help of friends who brought fruit to help feed them.
"She's devoted her whole life to taking care of these chimpanzees,"
Miller said of Virginia Brauer.
Chimpanzees can turn surly if not handled properly, said Martine Colette,
animal director of the Wildlife WayStation, a sanctuary near Los Angeles
where Moe was housed for a time.
"Chimps are notoriously strong and they have some very, very specific
behaviors," Colette said. "If someone tries to confine them, they will definitely
put up a fight."
"An average person who doesn't know chimp body language can't
read them," she added.
URL: http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/n/a/2005/03/03/state/n225834S43.DTL
©2005 Associated Press
Posted by:: "Revi Shankar"
Date: Fri, 4 Mar 2005 09:00:11 -0500
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; "GfbAEV" wrote
...
> The couple had brought Moe a cake and were standing
> outside his cage when Buddy and Ollie, two of the four
> chimpanzees in the adjoining cage, attacked St. James Davis,
> Martarano said. Officials do not yet know how the chimps got
> out of their enclosure, he said.
I bet I know. The idiots opened their cage. They owned a chimp previously,
and probably thought "what can happen!"
Chimps are EXTREMELY strong. I recall reading that researchers one placed
some kind of chain and handle with a scale to read how much pull was exerted
on the handle in a chimp enclosure. They noted that one female chimp grabbed
the handle with *one hand*, and proceeded to casually exert 800lbs of pull
on the handle, "without even trying".
Posted by:: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
Date: Fri, 04 Mar 2005 12:50:27 -0500
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In article <-uydnR2PS6la9LXfRVn-3A@adelphia.com>, Revi Shankar
wrote:
> ; "GfbAEV" wrote
>
>
> ...
> > The couple had brought Moe a cake and were standing
> > outside his cage when Buddy and Ollie, two of the four
> > chimpanzees in the adjoining cage, attacked St. James Davis,
> > Martarano said. Officials do not yet know how the chimps got
> > out of their enclosure, he said.
>
> I bet I know. The idiots opened their cage. They owned a chimp previously,
> and probably thought "what can happen!"
>
> Chimps are EXTREMELY strong. I recall reading that researchers one placed
> some kind of chain and handle with a scale to read how much pull was exerted
> on the handle in a chimp enclosure. They noted that one female chimp grabbed
> the handle with *one hand*, and proceeded to casually exert 800lbs of pull
> on the handle, "without even trying".
>
Adult Pan Troglodyte chimps can be as mean as the meanest human beings.
Ah, nature. If sadism is a mark of intelligence then standard chimps
are pretty smart buggers.
Then there are Bonobo chimps, who will ACCIDENTALLY tear you limb from
limb just trying to give you a friendly BLOW JOB. But for all their
fucking, THEY'RE the endangered ones.
Figures. The terrible vicious patriarchal yahoo violent-gang species
does relatively well, while the laid back Free-Love long-haired ones
are almost totally extinct. Dang. Why does this seem so familiar.
--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB
Posted by:: König Prüße, GfbAEV
Date: Fri, 04 Mar 2005 19:04:55 GMT
--------
"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
>In article <-uydnR2PS6la9LXfRVn-3A@adelphia.com>, Revi Shankar
> wrote:
>
>> ; "GfbAEV" wrote
>>
>>
>> ...
>> > The couple had brought Moe a cake and were standing
>> > outside his cage when Buddy and Ollie, two of the four
>> > chimpanzees in the adjoining cage, attacked St. James Davis,
>> > Martarano said. Officials do not yet know how the chimps got
>> > out of their enclosure, he said.
>>
>> I bet I know. The idiots opened their cage. They owned a chimp previously,
>> and probably thought "what can happen!"
>>
>> Chimps are EXTREMELY strong. I recall reading that researchers one placed
>> some kind of chain and handle with a scale to read how much pull was exerted
>> on the handle in a chimp enclosure. They noted that one female chimp grabbed
>> the handle with *one hand*, and proceeded to casually exert 800lbs of pull
>> on the handle, "without even trying".
>>
>
>Adult Pan Troglodyte chimps can be as mean as the meanest human beings.
>Ah, nature. If sadism is a mark of intelligence then standard chimps
>are pretty smart buggers.
>
>Then there are Bonobo chimps, who will ACCIDENTALLY tear you limb from
>limb just trying to give you a friendly BLOW JOB. But for all their
>fucking, THEY'RE the endangered ones.
>
>Figures. The terrible vicious patriarchal yahoo violent-gang species
>does relatively well, while the laid back Free-Love long-haired ones
>are almost totally extinct. Dang. Why does this seem so familiar.
>
>--
I always think of baboons as being mean, pack-hunters.
I guess even chimps go bonkers.
I was reading yesterday that fear of snakes isn't natural to chimps,
but a learned behavior.
http://magma.nationalgeographic.com/ngm/0503/feature1/multimedia/multimedia.html
Posted by:: "Doktor Dark"
Date: 4 Mar 2005 12:09:26 -0800
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Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
> In article <-uydnR2PS6la9LXfRVn-3A@adelphia.com>, Revi Shankar
> wrote:
>
> > ; "GfbAEV" wrote
> >
> Then there are Bonobo chimps, who will ACCIDENTALLY tear you limb
from
> limb just trying to give you a friendly BLOW JOB. But for all their
> fucking, THEY'RE the endangered ones.
>
Yeah, that's why Jane finally left Tarzan. He was Cheetah-ing on her
behind her back the whole time.
Posted by:: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
Date: Fri, 04 Mar 2005 23:58:30 -0500
--------
In article <1109966966.363353.227140@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com>,
Doktor Dark wrote:
> Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
> > In article <-uydnR2PS6la9LXfRVn-3A@adelphia.com>, Revi Shankar
> > wrote:
> >
> > > ; "GfbAEV" wrote
> > >
> > Then there are Bonobo chimps, who will ACCIDENTALLY tear you limb
> from
> > limb just trying to give you a friendly BLOW JOB. But for all their
> > fucking, THEY'RE the endangered ones.
> >
> Yeah, that's why Jane finally left Tarzan. He was Cheetah-ing on her
> behind her back the whole time.
>
He couldn't even get Jane to TRY to chew his face off.
--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB
Posted by:: "angelicusrex"
Date: Fri, 4 Mar 2005 13:43:36 -0700
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Sounds like Alt. Slack to me! "Hi! We brought you a cake! Good! Let's chew
their faces off!!
A.P.
Posted by:: polar bear
Date: Fri, 04 Mar 2005 23:18:18 -0800
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In article <38rvjcF5pu4m7U1@individual.net>, "angelicusrex"
wrote:
> Sounds like Alt. Slack to me! "Hi! We brought you a cake! Good! Let's chew
> their faces off!!
>
Now THAT's funny!
And mostly true. Mostly.
pb
Posted by:: "ArWeGod"
Date: Thu, 10 Mar 2005 12:58:53 GMT
--------
"polar bear" wrote in message
news:040320052318187860%bear@pole.com...
> In article <38rvjcF5pu4m7U1@individual.net>, "angelicusrex"
> wrote:
>
> > Sounds like Alt. Slack to me! "Hi! We brought you a cake! Good!
Let's chew
> > their faces off!!
> >
> Now THAT's funny!
> And mostly true. Mostly.
Faces?! The chimp bitches ate his testicles and foot, and gouged out an
eye just for fun.
Happy birthday to... Oh God they're loose, oh gawd get them offa me ow
ow ow my back, my foot, my face, my balls, shoot them, kill them!!!
Sorta like Saturday night at Nenslo's house.
--
ArWeBananas
Posted by:: "Rev. Richard Skull"
Date: 4 Mar 2005 13:47:45 -0800
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Yea! Go Chimps Go!
Stick it to the "man!"
I liked when the one Chimp tried to drag they half eaten guy off down
the road.
But again, I got yelled at for cheering on the Apes when we went to see
the "Planet of The Apes" remake.
Posted by:: "Doktor Dark"
Date: 5 Mar 2005 05:38:15 -0800
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If it woulda happened to Mike Tyson, the headlines woulda screamed:
CHIMP CHOMPS CHAMP!
Posted by:: "angelicusrex"
Date: Sat, 5 Mar 2005 12:56:25 -0700
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CHIMPS CHOMP EAR CHOMPING CHAMP!
A.P.
Posted by:: HellPope Huey
Date: Mon, 07 Mar 2005 05:00:31 GMT
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Weasels ripped my flesh, but CHIMPS chewed my goddamn face clean OFF.
--
HellPope Huey
Floating On A Raft Of Bizarre Circumstance
In A Sea Of Grotesque Choices
The longer I live,
the larger allowances
I make for human infirmities.
- John Wesley
"If a fully grown adult
in reasonable control of his faculties
wants to plunge a syringe full of lighter fluid
into his urethra and piss fire,
as long as he does it in the privacy
of his own asbestos bathroom,
I will flick the Bic."
- Dennis Miller, "I Rant, Therefore I Am"
Posted by:: Kevan Smith
Date: Sun, 06 Mar 2005 23:57:48 -0600
--------
In article
,
HellPope Huey wrote:
> Weasels ripped my flesh, but CHIMPS chewed my goddamn face clean OFF
Man, that makes me hungry for a SAMMICH!
--
Kevan Smith
cuthulu@mouse-potato.com