Aroma The Rapist
Posted by:: "iDRMRSR"
Date: Wed, 16 Mar 2005 23:05:34 -0500
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I went to one of those ultra modern car washes today and got the top of the
line wash and wax with the air freshener package.
Nowadays they don't just squirt some smelly goo on the carpets. They put
these tiny stamp sized cardboard squares soaked with fragrance under the
driver's seat.
When I got home, I decided the interior needed to be spruced up a little
more. THINGS had rolled under the seats. While I was rooting around there,
I accidentally picked up one of the aroma squares and looked at it and said
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS. And then I realized what I had done!
Now, THREE FUCKING HOURS LATER, I smell like a bobdamned NEW CAR. And I
can't make the smell go away. AIEEEEEEEE!!!!
[*]
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Posted by:: "frater S.O.D.D.I."
Date: 16 Mar 2005 20:56:20 -0800
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iDRMRSR wrote:
(snip)
> Now, THREE FUCKING HOURS LATER, I smell like a bobdamned NEW CAR.
And I
> can't make the smell go away. AIEEEEEEEE!!!!
Could be worse.
You could smell like an OLD car.
Posted by:: HellPope Huey
Date: Thu, 17 Mar 2005 05:07:25 GMT
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iDRMRSR wrote:
> I went to one of those ultra modern car washes today and got the top of the
> line wash and wax with the air freshener package.
>
> Nowadays they don't just squirt some smelly goo on the carpets. They put
> these tiny stamp sized cardboard squares soaked with fragrance under the
> driver's seat.
>
> When I got home, I decided the interior needed to be spruced up a little
> more. THINGS had rolled under the seats. While I was rooting around there,
> I accidentally picked up one of the aroma squares and looked at it and said
> WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS. And then I realized what I had done!
>
> Now, THREE FUCKING HOURS LATER, I smell like a bobdamned NEW CAR. And I
> can't make the smell go away. AIEEEEEEEE!!!!
And this is inferior to your usual stench in exactly WHAT manner? From
the sound of things, you oughta put that mufugger in your shirt pocket
every time you leave the HOUSE. Just a suggestion that in NO WAY
mitigates my responsibility for the green cloud floating over my own
laundry basket.
--
HellPope Huey
Author of "The Tao of Insanity"
"...and the disciples ran about screaming
'Oh Lord, what a big f**kin' lizard!'"
- Bill Hicks
"Heaven's gonna SUCK!"
- "Malcolm In The Middle"
Posted by:: Artemia Salina
Date: Thu, 17 Mar 2005 02:51:14 -0500
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On Wed, 16 Mar 2005 23:05:34 -0500, iDRMRSR wrote:
> Now, THREE FUCKING HOURS LATER, I smell like a bobdamned NEW CAR. And I
> can't make the smell go away. AIEEEEEEEE!!!!
If I was you I'd just park myself in front of the TV and wait for it
to wear off.
--
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0:-) Artemia Salina (-:0
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Posted by:: "Rev. Richard Skull"
Date: 17 Mar 2005 12:38:42 -0800
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>>Now, THREE FUCKING HOURS LATER, I smell like a bobdamned NEW CAR.
And I
can't make the smell go away. AIEEEEEEEE!!!! <<
Head down to your local pig or chicken farm.
Roll in a huge steaming pile of either pig or chicken shit.
You won't notice the "new car" smell anymore.
Posted by:: "just john"
Date: 17 Mar 2005 12:44:55 -0800
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Oooh! I LOVE new car smell!
Can I drive you around the block a few times, and maybe pick up some
girls?
Posted by:: "Rev. Richard Skull"
Date: 17 Mar 2005 13:05:47 -0800
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>>Oooh! I LOVE new car smell!
Can I drive you around the block a few times, and maybe pick up some
girls? >>
becareful, he's been cited by the EPA as a source of noxious emisions.
Posted by:: "iDRMRSR"
Date: Thu, 17 Mar 2005 16:30:52 -0500
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>>Oooh! I LOVE new car smell!
Can I drive you around the block a few times, and maybe pick up some
girls? >>
Well, you kin pick up the ones stunned by my size alone.
You've opened up a new line of inquiry to me! If you make yourself
repulsive enough, you'll stun them temporarily. This could be fun!
[*]
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Posted by:: "Rev. Richard Skull"
Date: 17 Mar 2005 15:24:33 -0800
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<
repulsive enough, you'll stun them temporarily. This could be fun! >>
I thought just being a Subgenius was repulsive enough?
Posted by:: Eddie Vroom
Date: Fri, 18 Mar 2005 03:22:45 GMT
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iDRMRSR wrote:
> Nowadays they don't just squirt some smelly goo on the carpets. They put
> these tiny stamp sized cardboard squares soaked with fragrance under the
> driver's seat.
Do NOT lick the "Mickey Mouse" stamp!
> Now, THREE FUCKING HOURS LATER, I smell like a bobdamned NEW CAR. And I
> can't make the smell go away. AIEEEEEEEE!!!!
You licked it, didn't you? Does your brain feel like tuck-n-rolled
naugahyde yet?
--
How's this for a punchline: I wasn't joking, motherfucker!
the Mystical RevvedErrand Doktor Eddie Vroom
Certified God by the holy authority of
the White Lotus Fortune Cookie Company
June 23, 2004