stealth idiocy

From: "nu-monet v6.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>
Date: Wed, Jul 9, 2003

(unedited local news)

(Phoenix, AZ) -- Airlines will be using new
technology embedded in passenger seats to help
avoid lawsuits such as the recent one filed
against American Airlines by an Arizona man
who developed a blood clot from sitting too
long. The new smart seat will be equipped with
movement sensors to detect whether a passenger
has been still for too long and at risk of
developing deep-vein thrombosis. The staff
will also be able to detect abnormal stress
levels or a restless person possibly on the
verge of air rage or terrorism.

--
Rev. nu-monet
Founder and High Priest
Church of Kali, U.S.A. (Reformed)

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From: "Blackout" <blackout@sususaywhatsubgenius.com>

"nu-monet v6.0" wrote
> (Phoenix, AZ) -- Airlines will be using new
> technology embedded in passenger seats to help
> avoid lawsuits such as the recent one filed
> against American Airlines by an Arizona man
> who developed a blood clot from sitting too
> long. The new smart seat will be equipped with
> movement sensors to detect whether a passenger
> has been still for too long and at risk of
> developing deep-vein thrombosis. The staff
> will also be able to detect abnormal stress
> levels or a restless person possibly on the
> verge of air rage or terrorism.

next: an automatic boot that kicks their dumb asses out of the chairs

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From: zosodada@aol.com (Zosodada)

<< The staff will also be able to detect abnormal stress levels or a restless
person possibly on the
verge of air rage or terrorism. >>

My levels would be in the red zone for
the entire flight. I don't fly well. I find
that smelling the armpit of a cute stewardess
as she reaches over to deliver food
and drink to the passenger next to me
does have a calming effect. Charles Willeford
was right -- thay all smell like Play-Doh(TM);
some odd effect of working in recirculated air
at high altitudes I suppose.

-----------

"I hate it when chicks cry. They always cry. I didn't do nothin'."
-- Vincent Gallo

"End No Money! Do Not Break the Bob Chain!"
-- marginal note on a real chain letter

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Artemia Salina" <y2k@sheayright.com>

nu-monet v6.0 wrote:
> The staff
> will also be able to detect abnormal stress
> levels or a restless person possibly on the
> verge of air rage or terrorism.

What they need are air rage sirens. Sorry.

First there's road rage, now its "air rage!"
What's left, sea rage? "Four Scots
Die in Moor Rage Incident" "Nome Authorities
Fear Permafrost Rage on the Rise"

--
Embrace your inner bullying coward.
Drive an SUV.

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Original file name: stealth idiocy.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05