First, They Came for the Beer Bongs...

From: "nu-monet v6.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>
Date: Thu, Apr 15, 2004

http://tinyurl.com/3a5e9

New Braunfels may ban beer bongs on rivers...

--
"La Cucaracha, la Cucaracha,
Ya no puede caminar,
Porque no tiene, porque le falta,
Marijuana por fumar."

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From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>

"nu-monet v6.0" <nothing@succeeds.com> wrote:
>http://tinyurl.com/3a5e9
>
>New Braunfels may ban beer bongs on rivers...

"I will go at it from a general strategy rather than a specific
strategy," the attorney said.

How all good legislation is drafted.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.com/
"Like all Americans, we at the Anheuser-Busch Companies
are deeply saddened by our Nation's tragedy. We share
in the grief for the victims, their families and friends.
And we wish you to know that if there's anything that a
nice, cold, refreshing Budweiser product can do to help
in lifting your spirits at this time..."

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From: Rev DJ Epoch <nunyabiz@noway.com>

Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com> wrote:

> "nu-monet v6.0" <nothing@succeeds.com> wrote:
>
>>http://tinyurl.com/3a5e9
>>
>>New Braunfels may ban beer bongs on rivers...
>
> "I will go at it from a general strategy rather than a specific
> strategy," the attorney said.
>
> How all good legislation is drafted.

I don't know what it is lately, but when I click on a tinyurl link, I get
a "Page could not be displayed" error. all the other links work fine.

One of the firewall guys at work must think this is joilly good fun...

______________
-- The Church of Our Lady of Prepetual Motion
-- Cathedral, Carwash and Dancehall
-- Home of the Traci Lords Memorial Brothel
-- Rev. DJ Epoch - proprietor and janitor
~
Divine Southern Redneck Yeti Clench Recruitment site:
http://revdjepoch.COM (yah, it's changed.)
~
Some assembly required, and in case of prizes, duplicate ties will be
awarded.
~

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From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

And really CHILLING when boiled tdown to that one statement. The
shotgun approach, good for fixing what's NOT broken, along with
anything broken.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB

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From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

nu-monet v6.0 <nothing@succeeds.com> wrote:
> http://tinyurl.com/3a5e9
>
> New Braunfels may ban beer bongs on rivers...

A recent news article about a guy who was narkked on in Canada prompted
me to do some research, and much to my surprise I discovered that in
Ohio, if The Man catches The Hippie with a bag of pot, The Man can only
fine The Hippie $100, write him a ticket and let him go. As long as the
bag of pot is under about 3.5 ounces. (Any hippie with that much pot
lying around is a pretty well-stocked hippie, in my book.) This was
news to me. I bet they fine you more than that for smoking pot on the
street in Amsterdam.

This has been true since 1980. The Ohioans, however, didn't make a BIG
DEAL out of the fact that low level pot possessing has been
decriminalized here for the last 24 years.

But! -- if The Ohio Hippie has any paraphernalia, such as a grotty
resin-encrusted little wooden pipe, or a giant carton of rolling papers
and five sacks of alligator clips from Radio Shack, it's a $750 fine!

And if you are competing with the liquor/cigaret industry and SELLING
the pot, of course, you in a heapa trouble boy.

I'm such an old square that this is the first time I have ever even
heard of "beer bongs." In my day they simply "chugged." I never got the
knack of it. I sure could vomit, though. Man could I vomit.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>

When I was a kid a "beer bong" used to mean you filled your bong with
beer.

God only knows what the point of that was. It was sure popular though
among the head connusieours.

Or however you spell that word.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.com/
A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to
underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

- Douglas Adams

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "nu-monet v6.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

> In my day they simply "chugged." I never got the
> knack of it. I sure could vomit, though. Man could
> I vomit.

I once knew a large, brutal and funny oriental karate
guy. His English wasn't the best, but he had a great
ability to turn a phrase.

Once, in a bar, he calmly watched a big guy thump
seven bells out of a little shrimpy and obnoxious
drunk who had thrown a plate of food on the big
guy's girlfriend to try and pick a fight with him.
Now lying on the floor with a double bloody nose
and curled up in a ball crying, the oriental martial
artist walked up, looked the shrimpy drunk over, and
said:

"Ooo. I bet you got some real ouchy places, huh?"

He was then helpful enough to escort the shrimp out
to the curb, sensing that he was soon to purge his
gut a lot. Which he proceeded to do. My friend
commented that that was a LOT of vomit for such a
little guy.

"Gee, if you could do that again, I betcha you could
do that for a living!"

The drunk was so drunk he agreed.

--
It all boils down to winners and losers.
The winners get what they want and the
losers get the boils.
-- nu-monet

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)

"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com> wrote:

>>>> I sure could vomit, though. Man could I vomit.

Me too. Decades ago when I still drank at all, I once barfed so hard,
I flew backwards and knocked down a buncha people like they were
bowling pins. Physics can be funny. One of 'em kicked my head for
that, but it was still funny, when I came to, bandaged the contusion,
stopped barfing, had the loose tooth settle back into the socket and
got past the hangover. Fun-neeee!

HellPope Huey
My name is George Bush and I approve this message:
I am an Idiot.

"Like all primitives, he's afraid of the unknown,
afraid of what he can't understand."
- "Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger"

"If you can't do business with the evil and the greedy,
then who CAN you do business with?"
- "Tripping the Rift"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "nu-monet v6.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

Was this at a performance of "Aida" at the Little
Rock Opera House? I hear it is extra formal, with
rules like "no picking someone else's nose" and
"no fornicating in rows 1-10 them's the first ten
rows same's you got fingers unless you're Billy
Dave the carpenter assumin' you can read this
sign in the fust place."
That opera sure has a lot of pigs in it.

--
"YOU BELONG TO US NOW!"
"GET DOWN WITH MY SICKNESS!!"

--Kino Beman, brand name

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From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)

"nu-monet v6.0" <nothing@succeeds.com> wrote:
> Was this at a performance of "Aida" at the Little
> Rock Opera House? I hear it is extra formal, with
> rules like "no picking someone else's nose" and
> "no fornicating in rows 1-10 them's the first ten
> rows same's you got fingers unless you're Billy
> Dave the carpenter assumin' you can read this
> sign in the fust place."

If I had a gun with only one bullet and had to choose between
shooting a person who was playing opera real loud and one who was
playing rap, I'd probably have to shoot myself.

The real problem with the South is a willful, co-opted ignorance born
of poverty birthed by the weak base income generated by agrarian
ventures and subsequent lacks in culture and education. This they
replace with religion as a last resort, hoping Big Daddy (not Ed Roth)
will make it better in the end. In short, they be's stoopid aned are
afraid someone might take away the illusory shell they have
constructed to protect themselves from that about which they are
clueless.
Music in general here is a pale thing, as it is mostly based in
YOWLING: country, rap and a sliver of opera as desperately clung to by
those who would never listen to rap or country. The one classical
station redeems itself by default, as do most of them. They are SAFE,
but still have the sheen of their fundamental content. There are some
fine bands and as with any other locale, you can slide past it all via
the Net and careful CD buys, but the weak inner life of the basic
populace is pretty drear and clear. This has a lot to do with why I
play my own synth stuff and never turn on a radio unless its in my
car, where it stays on the classical station out of self-defense.
I may be insane, but I retain enough neurons not to hang out with the
rank-&-file locals, which is a shame, as it was easy to do in Houston,
Texas, simply due to its larger size and resultant broader cultural
base. In short, fuck pobuckers. Goddamnit, you made me sound like
Nenslo. you BASTARD!

> That opera sure has a lot of pigs in it.

EVERY opera has a lot of pigs in it. They're artifacts from a time
when being porcine was a sign of health & wealth rather than incipient
heart failure and gluttony. Anyway, I agree with Brian Eno: opera is
an advanced form of yodeling and so is alt.slack, except alt.slack is
FUNEEEEEE. Sometimes even ha-ha funny instead of just peculiar funny.
Now squeal like an elitist piggy!

HellPope Huey
Just 'cause ya wear the fez don't make you a Shriner

I don't deserve this award,
but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.
- Jack Benny

"Welcome to the show America prefers
3-to-1 over pinkeye!"
- "Ka-Blam!"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "nu-monet v6.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

HellPopeHuey wrote:
> EVERY opera has a lot of pigs in it. They're
> artifacts from a time when being porcine was
> a sign of health & wealth rather than incipient
> heart failure and gluttony.

No, I meant REAL pigs. As extras. It started as
a so-off-off-off-Broadway-that-it's-in-Arkansas-
pronounced-Ar-Kansas in the late 1960s, after the
experiment with nude Wagner wiped out an entire
audience in Peoria.

At first, they tried glueing the piggies feet to
the floor so they would set up a confused &
distraught piggy caterwal in a rough approximation
of a chorus; but after a time, the swine got used
to it, so they took to giving them ginger anal rubs
before performances.

Stage actors do that sort of thing, you know.

Well, except for during the Swine Flu debacle, which
caused 'operus interruptes', an artistic crisis for
an entire season, "Pig Opera" has been going on,
uninterrupted ever since, targeting more the rural
venues, the suspiciously odiferous stockyards and
NASCAR tracks of American Heartland high culture.

And though big city critics are unmerciful at such
excess, out in the nabes they can't get enough of
it. Pity the small town newspaper critic who dares
to call it a "Big Boar..."

--
"YOU BELONG TO US NOW!"
"GET DOWN WITH MY SICKNESS!!"

--Kino Beman, brand name

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "ghost" <ghost@ghost.net>

Oblique Strategies Java

http://crystal.palace.net/~llama/oblique/oblique.html

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Original file name: First, They Came for#1AD16C.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05