Salacia has stolen my heart!

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>
Date: Fri, Aug 6, 2004 9:33 PM

I walked down to the P.O. today, and wished I'd driven, because there
awaiting me was a BIG MYSTERIOUS BOX from another P.O. in (Now I Know
Which City)... but otherwise ANONYMOUS! Since there was a PRISTINE
analog High-8 video camera inside, Sony TR75, the generation after my
old Hi-8 Sony but before the digital ones, I figured this must be from
HdMrs. Salacia the Overseer, who had SAID in this very forum that she
was gonna donate her generally unused 8mm camcorder to the Foundation.
I STILL don't know FOR SURE if the return address on this box is indeed
Salacia's! But I cross-referenced it with the ones in my Bulldada Time
Control Laboratories CUSTOMER database and found that it was the
address of a someone who had bought TWO 7-X-Day preregistrations, by
the name of (HUMAN STREET-NAME HERE)!

DETECTIVE WORK!!

So if it was Salacia, and even if it wasn't, SALACIA IS MY
SHORDURPERSAV! My heart is all a-flutter!

Let me explain HOW a-flutter.

I shot on 8mm and then Hi-8 from 1989 or so to last winter. I have a
pretty big box full of POIGNANT FAMILY HISTORY and MONSTROUS SUBGENIUS
DEEDS. The monstrous Sub footage has potential for something...
anything from riches to lawsuits and prison. But I took first Wei's
camera and then mine to one Burning Man after another. I was told it
was Camera Murder to do that. Sure, you come home with some great
pictures, but also with the finest grit in the universe mystically
coating every interior surface of the camera, even the supposedly
sealed-off sections of the motors and the controls. You repair your
camera and it works for a while but then another part goes down.
Burning Man dust self-propagates like runaway nanogunk and WILL destroy
anything it impregnates.

But not TOTALLY.

MY Hi-8 cam will play a tape fine. But that is ALL it will do. Once you
pound the tough-panel buttons hard enough, it will start playing a
tape. It will not STOP; it will not rewind; it will not fast-forward.
To stop it you must UNPLUG it.

Wei's cam will not play. BUT IT WILL REWIND!!

So you see, I can use one to play and one to rewind.

SOME FUCKING CHURCH OF SLACK EQUIPMENT SHED WE HAVE HERE!!!!

But now I can give those broken cameras to The Amino Acids to further
destroy, on stage, in a holy manner befitting cameras through whose
lenses passed such sights as Robert Anton Wilson, Brazilian boneyards,
Ray Harryhausen and Pastor Craig's Collarbone-Breaking Accident, not to
mention a dozen Gwar concerts and thirty Devivals. And all those
musicals my kids were in.

I can pass selected portions of that olden 8mm video through the FANCY
new-old MiniDV I just bought on eBay, which converts analog to digital,
and hence onto my burgeoning hard drive array, where I can slice and
dice that crap to my heart's content. (It's a compulsive SubGenius
editor thing, you wouldn't understand, unless you're Susie the Floozy,
Fernandinande LeMur, or Puzzling Evidence.)

I'm increasingly thinking I'd like to never ever leave this office
again, but just sit plugged into my machines, feeding in tapes and
videos, MERELY CATCHING UP on what the fuck HAPPENED TO ME for the last
25 years. It has been RATHER a RUSH. In fact I'm still waiting for it
to slow down a mite more so we can stop making history and start making
it INTO history.

Anyway, this camera was a much needed and VERY VERY much appreciated
donation! There is some REAL FUNNY SHIT that will pass through it and
on out into SubGeniusLandia. "X-Day '98" is next up on the Revision
Dock. Somehow we'll work our way back to SubCon 02, Chicago, 1982.
(SubCon 01 is all over ARISE!) Burning Man 2001 is another pre-edited
one I can reprocess fairly quickly now that I have THIS GIZMO. This and
the eBay purchase.

Let the glory of HdMrs. Salacia the Overseer and her understanding
husband be sung from all the rooftops of Dobbstown, from Joker Junction
to the Rat-Shootin' Dump, from Stately Dobbs Manor to Robotown! Let
Eyiyiyi Ring Out!

I carried the box home, hugging it like a treasure chest! Thinking of
Salacia's chest the whole time.

"Preserve your memories, they're all that's left you." In my case not
only have quite a few Kodak-moment memories flown the coop but even
some organs and values.

Were I to take some LSD, they'd probably all come RUSHING BACK, but
that stuff gives me a headache.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 204206, Austin, TX 78720-4206
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com
For SubGenius Biz & Orders: call toll free to 1-888-669-2323
or email: jesus@subgenius.com
PRABOB

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Salacia has stolen my heart!
From: nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com>

>
> "Preserve your memories, they're all that's left you."

I wish to god mine would leave me.
"I've had enough of useless memories, always remembering." - PIL

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Salacia has stolen my heart!
From: seventhsqueal@yahoo.com (HdMrs. Salacia the Overseer)

How sweet! We both got something we want today.

> I STILL don't know FOR SURE if the return address on this box is indeed
> Salacia's!
snip>

> DETECTIVE WORK!!

Which wouldn't have been necessary if you scanned your e-mail once in
a while. (Or removed my email address from the killfile)

> I carried the box home, hugging it like a treasure chest! Thinking of
> Salacia's chest the whole time.

That's very flattering. Organ donor card--boobs/chest organs-->CotS

Enjoy it! You'll put it to much better use.
Rev. Lovejoy is hot on getting one of those Dvd writing camcorders.
*wince*

~Salacia

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Subject: Re: Salacia has stolen my heart!
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>
>
> Which wouldn't have been necessary if you scanned your e-mail once in
> a while. (Or removed my email address from the killfile)
>

??? "seventh was not found," not in anything recent anyway! Only in the
X-Day pre-reg. If you emailed me besides that... I don't know!

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)

PRABOB

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: HdMrs. Salacia the Overseer <seventhsqueal@verniciouskanit.com>

sent from seventhsqueal @ yahoo . com to stang @ subgenius . com

That's the mystery.

Scooby Doo Where Are You!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

I have heard tell that putting those into a DVD player is just fine,
but putting them into your Macintosh computer for editing is not so
fine. I dont know about other computers.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Salacia has stolen my heart!
From: HdMrs. Salacia the Overseer <seventhsqueal@verniciouskanit.com>

>>
>> That's very flattering. Organ donor card--boobs/chest organs-->CotS
>
>Chest of the SubGenius
>
>Well I did get to see your chest in one errant photo of your "Flasher"
>outfit for the drag ball -- hard to forget! So to speak.

You of all people should start a plaster caster collection. You can
mount them on plaques like hunting trophies in your manly den.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

There is a plaster cast of the Greatest SubGenius Chest, Rev. Susie the
Floozy's, at Brushwood. It was made in the 90s by a retired dentist who
lives there and has done other such busts of busts. Last time I saw it,
it was in the Studio building, painted in fleshtones -- a Susie Chest
and Belly. I don't know which pervert has it now.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: HdMrs. Salacia the Overseer <seventhsqueal@verniciouskanit.com>

Maybe I got the idea from seeing a picture of them making it on
subsite ages ago.

Short sighted cavemen need hunting trophies, too.

Salacia

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Original file name: Salacia has stolen my heart! - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05