Hey, Stang! HEY!! STANG!!!

From: crawford@subgenius.com (Rev. Crawford)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Oct 15, 2003 1:48 PM
Message-ID: <e4a507aa.0310150948.7deb8712@posting.google.com>

watchoo doon here meen onan trine to get some good radio slackage yer
way and don't hear nuffin wheeze both pullin' major packmule the big
lemuria u plus dealin' wid roy bean fallout from nasty ranger scene
last summer and still bustin' production moove yer way and send two
three four darpagram for jawtime don't hear nothin' make me feel like
lindbergh baby teddy bear get all spun out wound up finally gotta get
right out here middle gleet street lay a metafizzorical meathook
upside yer bullum haid and don't hardly use no pronoun besides

dang

yfnr

crawford

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Subject: Re: Hey, Stang! HEY!! *STANG!!!*
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subNOSPUMgenius.com>

Well, huh.

Now ya'll have some idea what my email so often looks like.

Rev. Crawford, I aired the mono MP3 audio bits that you had me download
and convert many Hours of Slack ago, and posted that fact right here
like I always do. If you have sent more audio to my PO Box in
Cleveland, that would be great, and hopefully stereo, but, well, I
haven't been in Cleveland this last week or so. Even when I am home I
only check the PO box once a week or so. If you emailed and told me to
download something, well, I'm sure I intended to do just that the very
second that time allowed. If you left a hundred one-minute messages on
my answering machine, I'm sure they'll still be there when I finally
am.

Like I tell everybody, I download everything on alt.binaries.slack, and
I am happy to get CDs or tapes or anything in my PO box. I can't handle
email attachments larger than about 3 megs however and I really don't
WANT to be able to.

Just lately there have been family related things keeping me off my
work, and before that there were work things keeping me off my work.
Just trying to translate the UH, creative writing sent in email, and
trying to distinguish it from spam and worms from foreign lands, has
been a bit of a challenge. Everybody's a comedian.

Now, because it makes about as much sense as your post, I will tell you
what I saw today when I went for a walk on the back 40 of the Stang
Ranch in Deepest Texas:

Many fire ant mounds, unfortunately.

Cow shit. Horse shit.

Cows and horses living together in peace, grazing the pastures just
like the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park. Some of the horses are pretty old.

But there are no OLD COWS.

A buzzard feather.

The usual cactii, mesquite trees, cedars, etc., and a shitload of
limestone.

My brother's tractor, which is air conditioned and has a CD player.

And best of all: two grasshoppers FUCKING IN A RED ANT BED. Oddly
enough the ants were paying the amorous locusts no mind. When I came by
the same spot an hour later, I was actually a little worried about
those two grasshoppers and looked for them near the ant bed. They were
gone... but then I found them, still fucking, just a few yards further
down the road. Not necessarily the same pair of grasshoppers, but I
like to think it was them and that they were still fucking wildly, and
not dismantled by ants with their pieces arrayed in some red-ant
storage chamber.

I also found that a picnic table that has always sat in a little glen
is now SMASHED FLAT under a fallen tree. I'm glad I wasn't sitting
there when that tree fell. If anybody else was, their skeletons have
been moved already.

I'll be back at my desk in Cleveland cranking out Hours of Slack again
ALL TOO SOON, and then the pantie-unwadding can commence, if any
panties were wadded. But in MY OWN SWEET TIME. I retired as much as
possible from busting ass. Life's brevity has been sort of accentuated
for me lately.

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Subject: Re: Hey, Stang! HEY!! *STANG!!!*
From: crawford@subgenius.com (Rev. Crawford)

heard/understood/acknowledged

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Subject: Re: Hey, Stang! HEY!! *STANG!!!*
From: Artemia Salina <y2k@sheayright.com>

Heard? You mean you have one of those Speak-n-Spell
thingies that blind people use to read stuff with?
COOL! What does this sound like? HNURF HNORK FNUFURL
FNOOFL FNOOFL HULURLURLURLURLURLURL

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Subject: Re: Hey, Stang! HEY!! *STANG!!!*
From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)

Oh dear, someone seems to have hit Rev. Crawford in the occipitals
with a blunt object. Real hard. Several times. Won't you please help?
Ah, fuck 'im. Doktor, physician, HEAL THYSELF. If you can make it back
to a sufficient degree, you'll be awarded a Saint Rocknar Decoder Ring
with real werewolf action. BECOME one or STOP being one at will! Great
fun for Devivals! Sometimes keeps you from getting beaten senseless in
the occipitals real hard with a blunt object.

HellPope Huey
Blah blah blah Pokemon Nintendo blah blah
economy SUV Xanax blah blah BAH!

"You survived the blackout.
Wow, you're made of stronger stuff than ICE CREAM!"
- Lewis Black

"Young lady, are you trying to show contempt for this court!?"
"No, I'm doin' my best to hide it!"
- Mae West in "My Little Chickadee"

All Glory to the HypnoToad! http://www.r33b.net/

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Original file name: Hey, Stang! HEY!! *STANG!!!* - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05